Sun-Don't-Shine State

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Florida Republican Mike Foley is desparate to draw attention to his Senate bid, as well as prove he can be just as conservative as incumbent Bob Graham. He's found a way to do both: attacking nudists and their teenage children. Foley was apparently horrified to discover that a Florida camp run by the American Association for Nude Recreation actually permits minors to be naked in the presence of other human beings, and "sent a letter to Gov. Jeb Bush asking how a camp allowing naked children to play together could be legal." I had to read that twice, rather naively wondering how merely being naked in private could possibly be illegal.

After looking over several of his public comments on the camp, it finally dawned on me that Foley is simply be unable to imagine a situation in which an adult confronted with a nude adolescent wouldn't be seized with an uncontrollable lust. Which, come to think of it, does tell conservative voters something important about the candidate after all.

NEXT: Tabloid Babies

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  1. Was Foley the one who came forward to attack, but not deny, rumors that he was gay, rumors that most voters had never apparently heard of until he attacked them?

  2. I heard about this the other day (I’m a Florida resident). The best thing that came out of it was to see that Jeb actually found no reason to take action against the nudist colony. So, the sun will continue to shine…well, at least that kind.

    The article linked to in the post seems to hint at the fact that Jeb sort of sided with Foley by saying, “The governor directed the issue to the Legislature”. This seems misleading according to what Jeb’s office actually said:
    http://www.click10.com/news/2302872/detail.html

    Speaking of the title of the post (brilliant by the way), where I live in FL (captial city) it rains more that Portland. I’ve been thinking about suing the state of FL for their false advertising laced slogan (joking).

  3. What exactly gave Bob the idea that children are at threat while being nude in a nudist camp with their parents? Is there something personal about himself he should disclose prior to the next election?

    Brady, I live in Seattle which receives less annual rainfall than NYC. Sure its cloudy 340 days out of the year, but what gave people the impression that it is the Rain City? We should at least be credited for being the highest suicide rate per capita city in the US or at least having the most heroin addicts! But no, people think that nothing happens here except the rain and WTO riots!

  4. James,

    Foley is one of the most paranoid anti-sex crusaders in Congress. He has actually proposed legislation to ban all commercial photography of anyone under 17 because someone, somewhere, might find a photo of a minor sexually arousing:

  5. Whoops, there was supposed to be a link to a Wired news story there:

    http://www.wired.com/news/politics/0,1283,52379,00.html

  6. Don’t you know that being nude in the presence of others, or in the presence of a mirror, is a clear lack of modesty, which is a sin and an abomination unto God?

    What the hell are wrong with you people? Does no one keep up with the divine word of Our Lord as handed down to us by his representatives on Earth, the Pope, Cardinal Heminez, Cardinal Biggles, and Jerry Falwell? Why, if I didn’t know better, I’d sware this wasn’t 13th century Europe!

  7. Oh, and by the way:

    NOOOOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!

  8. Puritanism – The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

  9. I guessing that seen grown-ups naked and frolicking is a better deterrent than four sold years of “abstinence” counseling and electro-shock aversion therapy.

  10. our weapons are fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the pope…

    cardinal fang, read the charges!!

    pythonly,
    drf

  11. Jack, its amazing what some of these politicians will do to appear as conservative as possible. Once the homosexual voting base becomes powerful enough to put politicians into office, it will be funny to see the candidates try to out gay each other!

  12. family values – the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be naked

  13. “NOOOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!” — Gwynette Paltrow

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