The Plot Against Santa Claus


Ever wonder what government secrets are just too sensitive to be released, even in the face of declassification orders and Freedom of Information Act requests?

I could tell you, but then I'd have to kill you.

[Via Undernews. For more details, visit the National Security Archive.]


NEXT: Call Me Ismail

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  1. I knew this. I learned long ago that the powers-that-be live in a fantasy world.

  2. “”This shows that the system is not about protecting real security issues,” said Thomas Blanton, director of the U.S.-based National Security Archive, which made the Santa records public. “The bulk of what government keeps secret is to avoid embarrassment.””

    I think that about covers it.

  3. Death to the fat bearded infidel!

  4. ‘t Was the night before FIA
    And all through CIA’s House
    Not a secret was stirring
    Not even about Claus …

  5. God bless us, every .

  6. God bless us, every [deleted for security reasons].

  7. [Freeper rant] I’m sure this was completely justified. Afterall, wasn’t George H.W. Bush CIA director around that time? And aren’t all people with the surname Bush good and honest and pure of heart, wanting only the best-est for all the little children of the world? Since the government said it was so, I am certain that there was such a dastardly terrorist organization as the Scroogists and that they are even now hiding in Iran, playing cards with Osama bin-Laden and Saddam Hussein while sitting on top of 55-gallon drums of Iraqi chemical weapons! [/Freeper rant]

    For the blog trolls, was the sarcasm in that too subtle for you?

  8. “Santa’s got the face you’ll learn to fear,
    shaved his head but he kept his beard.
    Late at night and all through your cities,
    Santa brings toy guns to your kiddies.
    Winning the battle for their hearts and minds,
    Himmler’s skills rank far behind.”

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