Fresh Air

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The Onion is doing a better job of covering the war than Fox, CNN, and NPR put together. From "Sheryl Crow Unsuccessful; War On Iraq Begins" to "Vital Info On Iraqi Chemical Weapons Provided By U.S. Company That Made Them," there's a rich menu of satire here—but the best entry has to be this one.

NEXT: Give It Up, Saddam

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  1. Gotta love the Onion–truly, “American’s Finest News Source.” Though, I think that “US Creates Own UN”, the Point/Counterpoint: “This War Will Destabilize The Entire Mideast Region And Set Off A Global Shockwave Of Anti-Americanism/No It Won’t”, and “What Do You Think?” (“Talk about your boring reruns,”) were the real gems.

    Also, while it’s fun to laugh at the statements by Ms. Crow, Michael Moore, etc. it is also instructive to note which celebrity-activists are in the limelight, and the ones that are expected but lacking. Nobody seems to be granting any press to Sting, Phil Collins, Billy Joel, etc. Perhaps this is the penultimate indicator (right before appearing on “Where Are They Now”) of the perigee of career arc for celebrities.

    Anyway, Iraq isn’t nearly as hard to rhyme as Albania. Why hasn’t someone cut a theme song yet?

    S

  2. Their post 9/11 issue was the best. In the spirit of cable news, they had their own graphic – crosshairs, burning buildings, and the title, “Holy Fucking Shit.”

    Definitely the best thing on the web.

  3. I always get bothered by the “well we armed Iraq with those chemical weapons” argument because, well, we didn’t.

  4. Gotta love the Onion. I usually have an Onion story posted in my cube. Very daring of me since I work for a (British owned) company that makes electronic systems for military aircraft. I think I am the sole soul willing to display something that isn’t Pro-war. Couple of recent favorites:

    Bush Seeks U.N. Support For ‘U.S. Does Whatever It Wants’ Plan

    Bill Of Rights Pared Down To A Manageable Six

  5. it’s always a highlight to pick up a copy of the onion and read it at work. those above-mentioned ones are terrific (post 9/11 was amazing!)

    but my favorite is “area man goes and gets himself hit by a goddamn bus”
    theonion.com/onion3518/hit_by_bus.html

    cheers,
    drf

  6. Love the Onion, always have–always will.

    I love satire, but I don’t find it humorous anymore. I’m somewhere in between disgust and numbness at the tales of people thrown into plastic shredders. And right now some 19 year old from Bramblebump, Iraq is trying to kill some 19 year old from Humperdump, Georgia.

    Saddam should go. Any appeals to international public opinion, United Nations precedent, or delicate sensibilities be damned. The man is a murdering ruthless tyrant. The only argument to be made is whether it is in the best interest of the tax payers of the United States of America. That I don’t know.

  7. “Vital Info On Iraqi Chemical Weapons Provided By French Company That Made Them”

  8. Actually, from what I hear, we give many countries anthrax. It’s part of the Biological and Toxin Weapons Convention, to which Iraq was a signatory. Under Article X of the Convention it says something to the effect that signatories should help each other with peaceful purposes. Giving anthrax to Iraq could fall under that heading, if Iraq was to develop a vaccine for it. I have read that it was an independent company that sent Iraq antrax. American Type Culture Collection.

    I would say do your own research and find out for yourself. But, the claim that America gave Saddam anthrax for bio-weapons is a lie.

  9. Oh well, I’ll do the research, check out Newsweek, October 29, 2001, page 36.

  10. Don’t forget, Newsweek November 5, 2001, pg. 42.

  11. set,

    Thanks. 🙂

  12. The best one I saw was when a Chinese newspaper, thinking the article was legit, re-printed an Onion piece on Congress selling the naming rights to the Whitehouse, complete with a retractable roof.

  13. Ya gotta admit, “Onion” is “equal opportunity”. They’ll take a cheap shot at anyone regardless of race, creed, color, political party.

    What’s not to like?

  14. Lefty,
    We had a better one here in MI. Some podunk Sheriff, gave a statement to local reporter that actually made it into print about Taliban tellemarketers straight off the Onion

  15. hey Warren!

    you know, this should come as absolutely no surprise. especially to this born-in-the-buckeye-state fellow…
    michigan tried to evict some beavers…..

    snopes.com/humor/letters/dammed.htm
    (at least it’s a good story…)

    happy-day-before-friday-day,
    drf

  16. Here it is: “Fast-Food Purchase Seething With Unspoken Class Conflict”

    http://www.theonion.com/onion3726/fast_food_purchase.html

  17. hey “blank”

    fast food tension is a good one!

    great day, all!
    drf

  18. http://www.tremble.com/dead/0303.html#000178

    “The Onion’s simple formula for success: parody the news with such unflagging loyalty that you actually begin to write it better than your source material.”

  19. Alex Knapp,

    While we did not give Iraq weaponized versions of say anthrax, etc., we did give them anthrax, etc. After their use of chemical weapons against the Iranians, etc., we should have gotten rather suspicious of the Iraqi motives for wanting anthrax, etc. So no, we didn’t “arm” the regime with the “horribles” that some now fear, but our efforts did aid them in their efforts to create them. If France can be blasted for helping Iraq build the Osiric nuclear plant, then we should be rightly blasted for providing Saddam’s regime with agents that could be turned into biological weapons. Ducking such is simply an indication of how unwilling people are to be serious about the trade in biological and chemical agents that can be turned into weapons. If they were serious they would be calling for reform in this area of government action, but I have not notice such a call myself.

  20. Satire is often the truest form of revelation. If you like the Onion you will also like http://www.uncoveror.com/index.html, overall doesn’t have the spit and polish of the Onion but some of its stories are by far some of the funniest things I have ever read.

    I also love to watch the “Daily Show” on Comedy Central. Frequently the coverage is far more accurate and entertaining than anything on CNN.

    Regards

    Joe

  21. drf!!!! “Area Man Gets Himself Hit By A Goddam Bus” is my all-time favorite!!!!! A close second is the one titled (I think)(something like) “Tension Seething Just Below Surface At Fast Food Purchase”. (I think it’s in the “local” section.) Great writing and the accompanying photo is perfect!

  22. “I always get bothered by the “well we armed Iraq with those chemical weapons” argument because, well, we didn’t.”

    I generally like what the Onion has to say, but this issue misses the mark pretty often. The above quote is a good example. They are coming off like a graphically enhanced version of a shrill Ted Rall. Spouting accusations with nothing but bluster to back them up.

  23. I’ve always suspected that the worst lyers – kids, were destined to lie their way into big time politics. Those innocent and honest kids from 30 years ago are today’s Homer Simpsons.

    How sad it is.

  24. EMAIL: nospam@nospampreteen-sex.info
    IP: 61.221.30.167
    URL: http://preteen-sex.info
    DATE: 05/20/2004 10:00:39
    No cause is so right that one cannot find a fool following it.

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