Sacre Bleu! Funny Anti-Frog Fervor Hits Kraut-a-Philic Midwest!

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Cincinnati, one of the few big cities in America that still proudly celebrates its godawful German heritage, isn't known for its sense on intentional humor (after all, humorlessness is a key part–perhaps the key part–of having a "German soul").

Hence, on the urban comedy circuit, Zinzinnati, home of the world's second-largest Oktoberfest, is better known for producing unintentional laffs such as former Councilman Jerry Springer, Nazi-sympathizing former Reds owner Marge Schott, the Robert Mapplethorpe controversy, the Who concert trampling, etc., etc.

But as this story in The Cincinnati Enquirer documents, "Porkopolis" has managed to come up with some of the better bits of anti-French animus in these United States. To wit:

At the Maisonette, the most famous French restaurant in Cincinnati, managing partner Michael E. Comisar was baffled when he heard about the man who called to ask his receptionist what kind of food the restaurant served.

When she told him it was French, the man asked: How can you sleep at night?

(Italics in original.)

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  1. Finally, there are no German or Belgian restaurants in America

    Eh? There are German restaurants all over the place. And there are a couple of Russian ones in the DC area as well.

    True, I haven’t seen a Belgian restaurant.

    France is hated because France is as arrogant as we, but with far less reason to be.

  2. If it were not for the french you guys would probably be speaking arabic now.

  3. David,

    “As for Germany, they may have opposed us, but they didn’t burn bridges in the effort.”

    Yes, Schroeder only ran a political campaign based on trashing the US at every turn. *chuckle*

    French treachery? Can you give me an example of this so-called treachery?

    French jingoism? What about American jingoism? “Freedom fries” and all that lot. Quite frankly, Americans as a rule are far more jingoistic than the French are.

    No German restaurants in the US? I go to one all the time, actually.

    Basically France didn’t bend over and take it in the ass like Blair did, and that’s made W and his pals whine and moan about French “obstructionism.” Well guess what. France is a free and independent nation – it is not America’s slave. It can have its own opinion on a subject and if the US doesn’t like, it can kiss off.

  4. don’t be a fag gary

  5. France is NOT an independent and free nation, and it IS America’s slave. It just prefers not to acknowledge that. Soon, France shall be bitchslapped back into its rightful place, and replaced by India on the Security Council. And you can continue to fellate bratwurst at German meatbars nationwide. *chuckle*

  6. Dear “David”: it’s okay Mr. Perle, you can drop the pseudonym.

  7. David,

    Not sure why I’m bothering with riposte (pardon my French), but here goes.

    “Their day is coming.”

    What is that supposed to mean? Are you one of those internet Bushbots? That sounds like a policy statement to me. Have you added France to the axis of evil? I’m just curious. I’d like to know whom and in what order we are going to take down the enemies to our national security (including those who disagree with us, regardless of their motive, which sounds like a security issue to me).

    And regarding your worldly comment on the presence of Russian and Belgian restaurants, I suggest you get out more often. I mean, out of your neighborhood. This is a generally polite place to post comments, so I’ll refrain from using words to describe you that start with the letter “i.”

  8. Dear “David”: it’s okay Mr. Perle, you can drop the pseudonym.

    I thought “JDM” was the synonym Mr. Perle was using here.

  9. My favorite line in the article was:

    “France and Germany and Russia are all together on this. But you know, if it wasn’t for the U.S., the French would speaking German and the Germans would be speaking Russian.”

    East Germany was under Soviet domination for 40 years and they still speak German, not Russian…but they all speak English.

  10. Dear “David”: it’s okay Mr. Perle, you can drop the pseudonym.

    Personally, I thought “JDM” was Mr. Perle’s pseudonym.

    And to “speakertoanimals”: It’s okay Ms. Coulter or Mr. Savage, you can drop the pseudonym.

  11. How is this funny?

  12. One wonders if their animus extends also to German, Belgian, Russian and Chinese restaurants as well.

    American jingoism would be laughable if it didn’t have such ugly consequences.

  13. Interesting that even though Germany, Russia and China are also taking a stand against America’s policies, it’s France that has come to represent all of them in the people’s minds. I certainly haven’t seen a rise in anti-Russian sentiment. Or anti-Chinese sentiment, either, especially when you compare this to the spy plane incident in early 2001, which actually caused many Asian-Americans to feel very nervous.

  14. This is funny, Gary. The reason that Americans aren’t outraged over China and Russia is that we expect those nations to be obstreperous. As for Germany, they may have opposed us, but they didn’t burn bridges in the effort. France, our nominal ally, has performed with singular treachery these last 6 months. When this new betrayal is combined with the hateful treatment that Americans have experienced for decades via French jingoism, the result is a new, clarifying vision of France. Their day is coming. As for the Germans, Russians and Chinese, our relations with them will continue as before. Belgium, as the French minister to Britain simpered about Israel not long ago, is a “shitty little country” that will go the way of France without any effort on our part. Finally, there are no German or Belgian restaurants in America, and Russian ones only in New York/New Jersey.

  15. French food doesn’t keep me up at night. Mexican food does.

  16. David,

    I await your comments on so-called French ‘treachery,’ you spineless cretin.

    speakertoanimals,

    Thanks Dr. Laura, but my sexuality is none of your concern, unless of course you are looking for a date. But having seen the pictures of you internet taken by your ex-husband, I would have to say that I am not interested.

  17. there is a Belgian fries restaurant in lower manhattan, right next to a thrift shop. also, notice three belgian restaurants here: http://www.new-york-travel-services.com/Entertainment/Dining/dining2.asp?regionid=34 . there is also a belgian restaurant called “waterzooi” in garden city, new york.

    i am not belgian. in fact, i would not eat in a belgian restaurant because they are not kosher. i just enjoy being contrarian.

  18. When I consider a Belgian restaurant, my first question is not “where?” so much as “why?”

    And the French are incredibly jingoistic. Try to get one to criticize his own country. Getting one to admit that bombing the Rainbow Warrior was perhaps less than couth is like pulling a sore tooth from a highly caffeinated tiger. And all this is justified because they make overpriced whine and cheese.

    But we’re being too hard on them. Really, there’s nothing wrong with France that another 10-20 years of German occupation won’t fix.

  19. The idiot quoted in this piece is obviously unaware of how much of his food is influenced by French cooking. And besides, what do French immigrants have to do with French government policy?

  20. Does all this mean Cartoon Network is now gonna boycott Pepe LePew…

  21. Sandy,

    Yes, the convulsions and such caused by le Pen getting enough of the vote to kick Jospin out of the running had no amount of criticism to it? Do you actually read Le Figaro or any other French newspaper? Frenchmen criticize themselves and their government as much as any other free people do. And yes, when the Rainbow Warrior was attacked there was outrage throughtout France, BTW. In fact, one of the reasons why Mitterand fell from power the following year to Chirac was due to that affair.

    And anyone who would call on another fascist occupation of France must be a fascist themselves. And a sick bastard to boot. I am about sick and tired of the glorification of the Nazis for their invasion and occupation of France. Thirty-four thousand Frenchmen died during the occupation as part of the resistance. They did not die in vain, you scumbag.

  22. >>And anyone who would call on another fascist occupation of France must be a fascist themselves. And a sick bastard to boot. I am about sick and tired of the glorification of the Nazis for their invasion and occupation of France. Thirty-four thousand Frenchmen died during the occupation as part of the resistance. They did not die in vain, you scumbag.

  23. Yet Another Steve,

    Do you have anything that is not juvenile to say?

  24. >>Do you have anything that is not juvenile to say?

  25. Yet Another Steve,

    How about “Used American Hand Grenade: Only Used To Frag Once?”

    Or better yet, “Patriot Missiles For Sale: Adept At Downing British Aircraft?”

    How about, “The American Navy: Trained To Shoot-Down Iranian Airliners?”

    “The US Army: We Can’t Beat Shoeless SE Asians, But We Can Kick The Crap Out Of Iraq.”

  26. the irony of this post, how you make fun of someone for hating the french and deride german heritage and poke fun at Cincinnati all in one breath.

    Kudos to you sir!

  27. Yet Another Steve,

    How about, “When Does The US Enter A War? After France or Russia Has Weakened Germany.”

  28. He he he. Gary, you win.

  29. There must be some mistake- I thought I was in a discussion forum on Reason, but this is looking like The New Republic without all the nuance.

    btw, “Fag” is the new “Nigger-(lover)”, and largely used by the same class of people.

    By using that word, it appears that Yet Another Steve is loosing to Gary (WWII jokes- how quaint).

    Beaten by a French Apologist… the shame…

    Cheers.

  30. >>By using that word, it appears that Yet Another Steve is loosing to Gary (WWII jokes- how quaint).

    Beaten by a French Apologist… the shame…

  31. Yes the French are now, and have always been a pathetic people. What could be more catastrophic for American international prestige than being effectively rebuked by the French.

  32. Warren,

    Yes, they were especially pathetic when the French navy under de Grasse saved America’s arse.

  33. Gary,

    My goodness, but we do seem to be having a bad day. Are you trying to single-handedly defend the honor of the French? Good technique, though, going on the attack like that. Very witty.

    Actually, it does kind of confirm what this thread is all about. I haven?t heard any of these kinds of jokes about the U.S. and the ones above don?t quite do it. Not like:

    Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees? So the Germans could march in the shade.

    Or:

    How many gears does a French tank have? 6, five reverse gears and 1 forward gear in case someone attacks them from behind.

    Or:

    How many Frenchmen does it take to successfully defend Paris? No one knows. It’s never been done before.

    Or:

    What do you call 100,000 Frenchmen with their hands up? The French Army.

    Or:

    What do you call a hero in France? An American.

    These are old and established and they work.

  34. mornin’ all! happy monday.

    okay, some of these jokes are funny. but this anger by proxy against france is a bit much. in working and grad school experiences, i’ve had a ton of difficulties with french individuals, but have met a lot of cool french people, too. just not in working situations.

    however, even with those experiences, watching fat, ugly, uneducated little shits yelling “go back to france” to war protestors is too much. jeez, those idiots couldn’t point out france on a map, let alone discuss anything about france, yet all of a sudden, they, baaaaa, “hate france”. just cuz.

    as pj o’rourke notes, racism and prejudism are wrong and merely point out the stupidity of the person harboring those feelings: after all, once you get to know an individual, there are millions of reasons to despise that person, so you don’t need any superficial, pre-fab reasons.

    there was a brit series, ‘Allo ‘Allo, a great series, where stereotypes of brits, french, and germans were plentiful and humorous. many of the jokes cited above by YA Steve are depicted in some way or another. those jokes are funny. just as people laugh at polish jokes, new jersey jokes (or buffalo or cleveland or detroit, depending), etc.

    what is that quote going around:
    “You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the Swiss hold the Americas sailing Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, and Germany doesn’t want to go to war”

    heh heh heh,
    cheers,
    drf

  35. The french are good sports, somewhat like hunting dead elephants … easy to find, easy to shoot and easy to just leave lying there … ask the German army or the Viet Minh army.

    Best used military rifle, toss-up between Italian and French (never fired, only dropped once).

  36. fuck yoursef

  37. I’m slightly stunned no-one seems to remember the French also ran a world empire more or less equivalent to the British for around 2 centuries – which about how long the USA has actually existed. Plus, for most of this time no army on earth could face them in Europe and win.
    Interestingly in the War of Independence 1776-1784 or so, the major contributing factors the US even started to exist was French military help in America and the fact that the British were also fighting the French in several other countries. Were did the gratitude for all that go?

    America is built on liberty – where from? French ideal.
    And finally, the most recognisable American symbol the world over is the Statue of Liberty – built in France.

  38. EMAIL: pamela_woodlake@yahoo.com
    IP: 62.213.67.122
    URL: http://cheap-web-hosting.1st-host.org
    DATE: 01/20/2004 04:57:29
    Morality by consensus is frequently morality by convenience.

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