Pope: Irony Is Dead

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Or at least, deadening. "We know that the persecutor does not always assume the violent and macabre countenance of the oppressor, but often is pleased to isolate the righteous with mockery and irony," says the Pontiff. Sarcasm is no different from King Nebuchadnezzar's burning of three young Israelites in the fiery furnace, adds John Paul II, whose palace guards are trained to keep straight faces while wearing blue and yellow bloomers.

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  1. I’d pay $5 to see those guards sing “We Represent the Lolipop Guild”.

  2. Much as I dislike finding myself on the same side of any issue as the Pope, he’s got a point. These days it’s impossible to take a serious position without having somebody snigger behind your back if they’re polite or jeer in your face if they’re rude. They’ll maintain it’s perfectly OK, because you’re wrong anyway.

    Madog, the palace guards look particularly funny because of today’s aesthetics. Who knows, if they hang on awhile, they’ll come back into fashion.

    Now let’s hear some Pope jokes.

  3. Yeah, like totally. Those pants are like so 1600’s. I mean GUY! Go to Structure and get some baggy bootcuts, I’m sure. Omigod!

  4. I guess I’m just bitter because I secretly want to wear highheels, hose, a big wig, makeup, and perfume and beconsidered a manly man, rather than a poof. Where’s Louis XIV when you need him?

  5. Don’t let those fancy knickerbockers fool you. The Swiss Guard are actually one of the most respected mercenary armies in the world.

    From “The Banner of the Papal Swiss Guard by Walter Angst in The Flag Bulletin, 187, May-June 1999”:

    “only unmarried Swiss males of the Catholic faith – historically, mainly from the four original Swiss cantons (Uri, Schwyz, Unterwalden, Luzern) and Valais – are eligible for serviece. Moreover, they must all be between 19 and 30 years of age, at least 174 cm tall and must have fulfilled their basic military training in the Swiss Army. They are privately contracted for this special Foreign Service for at least two years. No official is openly involved in the process, but usually the discreet services of some parish priests are used. Guard duty includes the bodyguard for the pontiff, the watch at the entrances to the city, the ceremonial honor guard, security at many religious and diplomatic functions, as well as information, surveillance, and similar service.”

  6. No one laughs when Native American Shamans and other tribe members dress in the clothing their ancestors wore 500 years ago, so why is it funny if the Pope’s honor guard dress like they did when the tradition began?

  7. Does Father Guido Sarducci know about this?

  8. Didn’t a pretty special renaissance artist design those pantalones?

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