Brickbats

Frank Dalton is scheduled for induction into the Tacoma, Washington, Youth Hall of Fame, but he may not be able to make it to the induction ceremony. He is currently under house arrest awaiting trial for the ax murder of his mother.

In New York, state Assemblyman Daniel Feldman has called for a new law banning discrimination against people based on their weight or their height. Feldman was moved to introduce the bill after numerous complaints from fat women that they are discriminated against in employment and harassed on buses by fellow passengers. Some fat people, Feldman said, even complained that their doctors had blamed their obesity for various health problems they suffered and told them to lose weight.

Meanwhile, in California, Philip Hart has sued the Cult Awareness Network, an organization that tracks religious cults and provides support for former cult members, for discrimination. He claims that he wasn't allowed to join because he is a practicing Scientologist.

In Las Vegas, city officials are concerned that tourism might suffer because striking union members have been videotaped beating up guests outside the Frontier Hotel. Security cameras have caught at least three people being assaulted by culinary workers on the picket line. But union secretary Jim Arnold claims that the picketers were just "exercising their constitutional rights."

John Dillinger once actually escaped from prison by carving a bar of soap into the shape of a gun and painting it black with shoe polish. One wonders what inmates in New York's Mount McGregor Correctional Facility were thinking when they brought a cake shaped like a penis to a guard celebrating his birthday. In any event, officers at the facility have been reprimanded for allowing them to do it.

In Pennsylvania, a Penn State student went to police with a most unusual complaint. Seems that she gave a man a $1,200 stereo to take a final exam for her. The man flunked the exam, so she wanted her stereo back. Now both are under investigation for violating a state law against selling academic work. In addition, the university is conducting a probe to see if school rules were violated.

And in Virginia, suspected drug dealer Alfred E. Acree Jr. was surrounded one night by police. So he ducked into some nearby woods to escape them. But no matter which way Acree turned, the police found him. Quickly catching up to Acree and arresting him, the police revealed that they had been able to spot him because he was wearing brand-new L.A. Gear Light Gear athletic shoes. Lights on the battery-powered shoes flared every time his feet touched the ground.

The University of Arizona has been under fire lately from environmentalists and local Indian activists over a telescope it is building. Originally, the facility was to be named after Christopher Columbus, but some people were incensed that the university would honor the man responsible for the rape of the Americas and the genocide of the red man. So officials have announced that the facility will be called the Large Binocular Telescope.

In Wyoming, Richard Osborn has sued Emporium Videos, a Casper store that sells adult materials. Osborn claims that he bought the video Belle of the Ball because the cover box gave the impression that it starred actress Busty Belle, but Ms. Belle appeared in the film for only eight or nine minutes. So Osborn wants his $29.95 back plus more than $50,000 to compensate him for the pain and suffering he experienced. Osborn claims to have had an asthma attack caused by the stress of being ripped off.

New York City has announced that anyone with a college degree applying for the jobs of staff analyst or caseworker will automatically get 70 bonus points on the civil-service exam and that anyone with any degree of experience will get 30 more. Seventy is passing, 100 is the maximum score on the exam.