On a bus headed for a Washington, D.C., abortion-rights rally, rocker Cyndi Lauper decided to play tour guide for some of the other celebrity activists. She pointed out the window to a large white building and told passengers it was the White House. "I know it from the postcards," she said. The building, of course, was actually the Capitol.

The District of Columbia Superior Court has upheld the right of the Paralyzed Veterans of America to remove an able-bodied man as its sports director in order to fill that spot with a disabled person. Blake Ortner, the fired sports director, charged that his dismissal violated the D.C. Human Rights Act, which forbids discriminating on the basis of physical handicaps. But Judge Stephen F. Eilperin ruled that the law "only protects those suffering from disability."

Mark Crenshaw is certainly shaking up Florida courtrooms. Three days after being elected to the Jacksonville circuit court, but before actually taking the bench, Crenshaw filed a motion to dismiss a divorce case against an unnamed man. Crenshaw contends that divorce is not allowed by the man's Christian church and therefore violates his First Amendment rights.

Sheryl Greene and Bernhard Scriebel have filed a civil-rights suit against their landlord, alleging that he tried to drive them from the Hollywood, California, apartment they have lived in for the last six years. The couple claims that they were discriminated against because they were straight and married. The landlord, they claim, wanted to turn the building into an all-gay enclave.

Sex-symbol-turned-animal-rights-activist Brigitte Bardot is upset with the city officials of Paris. She says that a new pooper-scooper law that requires owners to clean up after their pets amounts to "aggression" against animals.

Singer and "recovering Catholic" Sinead O'Connor once refused to appear on television with comedian Andrew "Dice" Clay because she thought much of his material consisted of verbal violence against women. But apparently she's more forgiving of men who commit real violence against women. She told Rolling Stone that the woman whom Mike Tyson raped "is a bitch. I don't care if he raped her." She went on to say that the woman "should look at herself and look at the disgrace she's making of women."

One last word from the November elections. Perhaps the most surreal moment of any candidate debate occurred in the Washington congressional race between Rod Chandler and Patty Murray. Responding to an attack by Murray, Chandler recited the entire refrain to Roger Miller's song "Dang Me," including the line "woman don't you weep for me."

Alfred Spremo Jr. has sued a neighbor, a mattress manufacturer, the company that repossessed his car, at least 12 attorneys (including his own), more than 30 state and federal judges, and his own mother. In all he has filed—and lost—at least 51 lawsuits. But now Judge Arthur Lonschein has ruled that Spremo may no longer sue anyone in his home state of New York. Spremo says he will appeal.

From the making-higher-education-relevant front. Offered without comment are these excerpts from a listing of faculty members and their areas of study and expertise published by the University of Western Ontario: "Karen Harburn (occupational therapy): geriatrics, volunteerism, mime, clowning; Robert Disalle (philosophy): skepticism, atheism and fanaticism, urban bicycle transportation policy; R. Kerry Rowe (engineering): artificial heart valves, mushroom hunting…."

Just when you thought all niche markets have been exploited comes word of a new magazine, Prison Life. Aimed at the 1 million persons who now call our state and federal prison systems home, the first issue features cover boy Charles Manson.