Billy Jack Goes to Washington, Part II. Tom Laughlin is exploring a possible campaign for president. The actor—best known for his early '70s portrayals of Billy Jack, a Vietnam vet who used hapkido to teach counter-culture values to rednecks—has been giving political speeches throughout Iowa and talking to campaign consultants. Even money says he finishes better than Paul Tsongas.

Swedish businesswoman Helen Wellon has a bone to pick with a government council against sexually discriminating advertising. The council has condemned an ad showing Wellon sitting beside one of the portable computers she sells. Citing her "deep décolletage" and "inviting smile," the council said the photo depicted Wellon as a sex object and did not contribute information about the product. Wellon says that she was merely dressed the way she dresses at work: "This is my style, short skirts and a deep décolletage." The stunning blonde complains that the council is prejudiced against her because she is an attractive woman who is proud of her looks. "It is high time that women are accepted even if they happen to have a big bust and do not dress like a man."

The Progressive reports that Texas state Rep. Larry Evans died recently. Evans's voting light blinked for roll call votes for several hours after his death. He continued to vote until cops announced they had discovered his corpse.

A New York state commission on multiculturalism in the schools wants to replace phrases that it thinks are too Eurocentric. For example, "minority" is out. From now on, teachers must use the phrase "member of the world's majority." So all minorities are women?

In Marin County, California, environmentalists are trying to ban people wearing perfume from public meetings, libraries, hospitals, and the offices of doctors, dentists, and therapists. Not to be outdone, the state's Air Resources Board is considering a proposal that would make it illegal to sell most perfumes. In California, it is better to look good than to feel good, but smelling good is another matter entirely.

Acting on an anonymous tip, drug agents from the Campbell County, Virginia, sheriff's department seized eight seedlings from Doug Mitchell's front porch. Lab tests determined that the plants were Japanese dwarf maples. The lab tests also destroyed the plants.

In Eugene, Oregon, Madison Middle School pulled the plug on Channel One, the in-school news program for youngsters. School officials didn't want students to see a story on the recent vandalism of Michelangelo's statue of David. The reason: the "full, front view" of the nude sculpture.

A new turn in the outing craze. The Bald Urban Liberation Brigade of New York City is posting fliers of celebrities who secretly wear toupees.

A General Accounting Office study has found that members of the House of Representatives bounced 4,325 personal checks during the first six months of 1990. Twenty-four legislators bounced at least one $1,000-or-more check each month. Gee, if they gave themselves another pay increase, they wouldn't have these financial problems.

Lloyd Manson planned to build a new home on a lot he purchased in Santa Cruz, California. But arborists told him that the towering eucalyptus trees on the property were likely to topple onto his house during a wind storm. So Manson decided to cut down the trees. However, people who live near the lot got an injunction forbidding Manson from cutting the trees. Said Gillian Greensite, a leader of the fight to keep the trees, "We live in a community, and trees are part of that community." Yeah, but do they ever invite you to dinner?