Super Bowl, Feh! Puppy Bowl, No!: Are You Ready for the Buzz Bowl?

 

As the Denver Broncos and Seattle Seahawks prepare to square off in the Super Bowl, marijuana wags (they exist!) have dubbed the contest "the 420 Bowl," "the Buzzed Bowl," "the Pot Bowl," "the Bud Bowl," and more as a nod to the fact that Colorado and Washington state have legalized recreational weed.

Before the kickoff to tonight's big game, travel back to a simpler America, circa 2011, when the country was locked in a moral panic over caffeinated alcoholic beverages such as Four Loko and Reason TV released "The Battle of the Binge: Buzz Bowl I."

Watch the 90-second vid by clicking above.

Here's the original writeup (go here for more):

Two drinks, one field, and numerous mixtures of alcohol and caffeine that "cause" young people to engage in risky behavior.

It's The Battle of the Binge: Buzz Bowl I

Who will come out on top? Four Loko? Joose? Or will it be Senator Schumer (D-NY) and the FDA?

Approximately 1.5 minutes.

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  • Acosmist||

    The more I hear that alcohol is more dangerous than weed, the more likely this kind of stuff is to expand in scope. Can we stop that argument, since it's logically consistent with it to ban both? I'd rather, you know, just legalize both.

  • Lord Peter Wimsey||

    Are you drunk?

    The point people are making is that pot is no more harmful (maybe less harmful) than something that is legal, and likely to stay that way.

    The political party that banned booze would never get elected again in this century. Pot smokers don't have that kind of clout.

  • Acosmist||

    Four Loko

    gg

    no re

  • cavalier973||

  • ||

    Holy fucking shit is Obama "addressing the nation" right now with an interview with O'Reilly? I guess the megalomaniacal cunt didn't get his fill with the SOTU? I mean, how fucking tone-deaf is this sniveling fuckstick?

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    This is fucking brutal. I really don't want to see Obama spouting his BS before the superbowl.

  • ||

    I turned the TV off. I will not hear or see that debased scumbag. I can't believe it, but somehow even I am shocked by this most blatant attention whoring.

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    I put it on mute. I can't stand to listen to him anymore, at all. I didn't even bother with the SOTU.

  • Slammer||

    Are we talking about Shitweasel Obama or Scumbag O'reilly?

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    Yes.

  • Almanian (yeah, I said it)||

    yes.

    Actually, I can occasionally listen to O'Dumbo in small doses again. Couldn't for awhile.

    The President? Not at all - it's mute or "turn off" immediately upon hearing his voice.

    Fuck him. I mean both of them.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    You dumbasses!

    O'Reilly attacked him on the ACA, BENGHAZEE!, the IRS fake scandal, and even read a letter from one of the "folks".

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hcu_SO2u_4s

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    So you're the type that leaves the TV tuned to Fox News?

    That explains a lot.

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    The fucking Superbowl is being broadcast by Fox you dumbass.

  • jester||

    Killing the Superbowl by O'Reilly + ghostwriter

  • Slammer||

    Well done.

  • Irish||

    O'Reilly was interviewing Obama on Fox as part of the Super Bowl pregame.

    It wasn't on Fox News, you moron.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    So Fox decided to put their tough-guy henchman on vs Obama and Obama took them up?

    Fucking useless 4 hour pre-game show and Episiarch is bitching about a ratings grab?

    Too bad.

  • Irish||

    "Sure I'm a dipshit who runs my mouth for no reason. But really it's everyone else's fault I'm a fucking idiot." /Buttplug

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    "Sure I'm a dipshit who runs my mouth for no reason. But really it's everyone else's fault I'm a fucking idiot." /Buttplug

    Irish nailed it pretty accurately here.

  • ||

    It so, so badly wants me to respond to it. It has a hardcore crush on me. Man, I love pathetic fucks being pathetic.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Nahh, you're just a few hardened arteries from going postal soon. I won't be there when you do.

  • Irish||

    O'Reilly was interviewing Obama on Fox as part of the Super Bowl pregame.

    It wasn't on Fox News, you moron.

  • BakedPenguin||

  • Loki||

    An you're the type who still faps to a now cum stained Shephard Fairey "Hope" poster. Who the fuck cares?

  • playa manhattan||

    I was at having lunch at a restaurant in a very liberal neighborhood when that interview came on. Almost everybody in there was booing and hissing at every answer he gave.

  • ||

    Only a megalomaniac is truly capable of turning worshipers into haters, because they just. Do. Not. Know. When. To. Stop.

    I went to brunch immediately after that interview started. To a place with no TVs.

  • playa manhattan||

    I was at L.A. Live next to Staples Center. TVs and Jumbo Trons everywhere. It was completely unavoidable, but the public reaction was great.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Attention everyone: Don't be fooled! Meredith Bragg is a man, baby!

  • jester||

    When I drink a Monster Energy Drink (even the no cal vs which technically has no energy), some person always has to tell me how bad they are for me.) The whole Healthfare State is to blame on the ban of everything tendy to ban. It's very random, transfats, 4loko, organic raw milk, GMOs, even marijuana because, 'it's not the weed we smoked when we were young'. You'll never win an argument against the paternalists because you'll get called for illegal use of logic and there you have it.

  • cavalier973||

    You drink Monster Energy Drinks? But they're so bad for you!!

  • jester||

    Would it be immoral for me to check the organ donor box on my dl?

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    That's why I mix mine with vodka...to kill the germs.

  • cavalier973||

    A friend of a friend of my was drinking Monster Energy Drinks, then went to the tanning bed and her internal organs malfunctioned. The autopsy revealed that they all fried from the mixture of high levels of caffeine and harmful UV rays.

  • Lady Bertrum||

    Caffeine infused internal organs, sounds delicious. (insert Silence of the Lambs joke here).

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Oh yeah, Well I had this friend named Mike, and he ate Pop Rocks and then drank a Coke. Do you know what happened?

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    He turned into a libertarian?

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    No, he just threw up a bunch of Life cereal.

  • Cdr Lytton||

    Mikey likes this!

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Since I got the tail end of a dead thread, I'm going to repost.

    This is strangely therapeutic.

    (If he gets stuck, you can move him with your mouse)

  • William of Purple||

    you can throw him with your mouse!

  • Cdr Lytton||

    The Secret Service will be having a word with you soon. Lèse-majesté and all.

  • playa manhattan||

    I like it better in the pervert thread. Somebody might be able to "use" it.

  • Christophe||

    I feel bad for enjoying this so much.

  • Slammer||

    Is this going to be the football thread?

  • William of Purple||

    when does the game start

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    When the East Coast is drunk.

  • Almanian (yeah, I said it)||

    6:00 Eastern

  • jester||

    When the fat lady, er, ...ms Fleming might even be too thin for John. Imagine that?

  • jester||

    Look at all the sponsors of dangerous for your health sports like football, xtreme snowboarding or NASCAR. It's always evil corporations, especially Big Energy (Monster, Red Bull) or Big Foot (Nike, Adidas) or...
    Only Big Govenrmment can solve this! Perhaps we can call all of the current admin the Big Fucking Deal.

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    You forgot about Big Food (Pizza Hut, Dominos, KFC, etc.)

  • mr lizard||

    New 4LOKO + 5 hour energy= old 4LOKO

  • Almanian (yeah, I said it)||

    A grateful internet thanks you

  • mr lizard||

    Your welcome. Although it lacks that factor that leaves the user in the drunk tank.

  • Sevo||

    Lefty rag whines as non-reg cars provide better service than cabs:

    "App-based ride services lure drivers from S.F. cab companies"
    Oh, and, the horror!: "They've flooded the streets with too much supply,"
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/.....php#page-1

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    Comments are pretty good though.

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    Except for this stupid ass one:

    doc_of_the_bay Rank 3587
    Years ago I warned of rising traffic, gridlock, and pedestrian and bicycle injuries as a consequence of more taxis and ride-shares on the road. The worst has come, as predicted, and San Francisco is increasingly an uncomfortable city because of it. The number of ride-shares AND taxis need to be limited by regulation since roadways don't proliferate by magic to accommodate this traffic.

    San Francisco is one of the easiest cities to walk or take public transit in. In the 30 years I've lived in the Marina, I have never once needed a taxi to get downtown. It's only 30 mins away on foot and 20 mins by bus. I have friends from New York who jeer at San Franciscans because they don't walk anywhere. They think it's hilarious.« less

    21 minutes ago 0 Likes
  • Irish||

    "We should regulate away a popular taxi program because my dipshit friends in New York laugh at me.

    Legislation based on peer pressure is the best kind!"

  • Rhywun||

    I have never once needed a taxi to get downtown.

    Probably doesn't know anyone who voted for Mitt Romney either.

  • ||

    The number of ride-shares AND taxis need to be limited by regulation since roadways don't proliferate by magic to accommodate this traffic.

    More rideshares and taxis = more traffic!!!!!

    *facepalm*

  • Rhywun||

    Comments are pretty good though.

    Yup. I've lived in SF and everybody knows how horribly broken such things as the taxi system and public transit are. These new services are a brilliant workaround & it's no surprise that the public is supportive despite the efforts of Top. Men. to retain the status quo.

  • Irish||

    "Too much supply."

    How do you have too much supply?

  • Sevo||

    And that was declared by a guy who swore for years that we had plenty of cabs!
    'Cause he just knows!

  • VG Zaytsev||

    and never uses them.

  • Slammer||

    Chuck the Staten Island groundhog jumped out of De Blasio's hands and ran for his life.

  • JeremyR||

    I turned on the Puppy Bowl and it started with Michelle Obama lecturing viewers to exercise more.

    Ugh. Just what is the appeal of this woman?

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Has any First Lady ever said/done anything useful?

  • William of Purple||

    Martha Washington.

  • William of Purple||

    Martha Washington.

  • Cdr Lytton||

    Even she can't ruin Puppy Bowl X.

  • William of Purple||

  • mr lizard||

  • ||

    400 babies!!!

  • Sevo||

    Slammer|2.2.14 @ 5:05PM|#
    "Are we talking about Shitweasel Obama or Scumbag O'reilly?"

    I personally hope they keep a camera on Obo. It'll be fun watching him take a bow everytime the crowd applauds a play.

  • Killaz||

    What was that weird military hoorah! in the middle of the reading of the Declaration of Independence. Gaudy no matter who delivered it.

  • ||

    The whole reading seemed bizarre and out of place

  • Smilin' Joe Fission||

    Politicians reading it seemed very out of place.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    I'm watching Bubba Ho-Tep. No sign of the President or his old lady.

  • ||

    What about JFK? They dyed him that color!

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    There should be a SB thread.

  • BigT||

    Denver machine makes 2 mistakes in first two plays.

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    Why doesn't a libertarian group scrounge up enough dough and run a libertarian ad during the SB? The $$ is there and I'm confident better minds than mine could come up with a great 30 second spot that might get some people to give Milton Friedman (or whatever) a shot.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    I'd kick in some coin.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Free market economics pushed in half a minute? Civil liberties explained in 30 seconds? Legal pot extolled in one spot? I see nothing but disaster.

  • Rufus J. Firefly||

    Then we should spoof.

    Libertarians eating children like spare ribs for example.

    One guy can pick his tooth with a tooth pick, look into the camera and say, 'Vote libertarian.'

    At least we'd laugh.

  • Loki||

    Free market economics pushed in half a minute? Civil liberties explained in 30 seconds? Legal pot extolled in one spot? I see nothing but disaster.

    "Leave people the fuck alone. The end."

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    Please, have you seen the mouthbreathers that watch the Superbowl?

  • BiMonSciFiCon||

    Unfortunately I look in the mirror every day.

    But seriously, I could see a commercial along the lines of "America hates both parties, why not try a third way..." starring The Independents or Amash or whoever encouraging someone to go to reason or read capitalism and freedom or whatever. Most people haven't heard of libertarianism, and I think a lot are sympathetic to our ideas. A 30 second SB commercial might get some people thinking.

  • Francisco d Anconia||

    no

  • XM||

    Drug Bowl was like the worst Superbowl ever. I was lied to.

  • Paul.||

    To be fair, when it's your team playing, you just kind of hope for a one-sided ass kicking. I don't need a 'competitive' game.

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