Brickbat: No Hugging, No Learning

Officials in Madison, Wisconsin, say they don't like the prospect of any hugging or cuddling going on there. At least, not for money. The Snuggle House recently opened, promising one hour withprofessional cuddler for just $60. Cops have already threatened to raid the place. Authorities say that if it isn't a front for prostitution it could be something even worse. "There's no way that (sexual assault) will not happen," assistant city

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    "There's no way that (sexual assault) will not happen," assistant city attorney Jennifer Zilavy said.

    Sounds like a certain precog needs a hug.

    "No offense to men, but I don't know any man who wants to just snuggle."

    Jezebel contributors snagged them all?

  • mr lizard||

    So what does $400 get me?

  • UnCivilServant||

    6hrs, 40 minutes of cuddle.

  • Radioactive||

    isn't this called a vagina of your very own?

  • UnCivilServant||

    No, I think it's disappointment for mr lizard, as I suspect he was hoping to get some other form of service instead of extended time.

  • AlmightyJB||

    That kind of quantity purchase should at least get you a german cell phone.

  • Radioactive||

    an STD?

  • Apple||

    Anal cuddle.

  • db||

    I love how police threaten to raid them. If that isn't prior restraint of commerce, what is?

  • Knarf Yenrab (prev. An0nB0t)||

    "There's no way that (sexual assault) will not happen,"

    Since we can't bear to permit anything that would incite lust in some men, better outlaw strip clubs, miniskirts, and high heels as well.

  • Stevie OneLeg||

    and strip malls.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Start handing out the Burkas.

  • steve walsh||

    This seems to describe them Madison Officials pretty well: "Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone, somewhere is having a good time.". And so, plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.

  • Daniel||

    Stick to amateur cuddlers you can meet on the street.

  • H. ReardEn||

    Is there some sort of government mandated class and exam one must take to become a professional cuddler?

  • ||

    I am sure some state legislator is cooking up a licensing scheme....the states gotta have it's cut.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Well, no. The state wouldn't want its women 'potentially' sexually abused by said cuddlers and the state also is concerned about its image being severely injured by the allowance of remote human gratification. So, licensing isn't something that can ever be on the plate in this regard.

    It's a miracle that people are even allowed to fuck in a home in a room next to their offspring's room. Surely Jesus freaks and feminists should be concerned about mommy and daddy smut rubbing off on the little ones through fuck vapors and shrieks.

  • Radioactive||

    second hand smut

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Soul destroyer of children, that.

  • ||

    If ever there was a photo begging for alt-text, that is it.

  • Rich||

    "Tiffany, have you finished your homework?"

  • Rich||

    Authorities say that if it isn't a front for prostitution it could be something even worse.

    A *front* for a front for prostitution?!

  • Drake||

    It's a gateway hug.

  • Jack Holby||

    +1 War on Hugs

  • Radioactive||

    who knows where this could lead...rampant handholding, under the table patty fingers...and heaven forbid neck nuzzling!

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Thank the lord for feminists and Jesus to save the women from the predator that is called man.

  • ||

    I'm just floored by the fact that people would pay $60 to cuddle. That's a waste of time and money.

  • Mint Berry Crunch||

    I agree. $20 for a 4 minute lapdance sounds like a better deal than $60 for "cuddling," even if it lasts an hour.

  • Radioactive||

    naked cuddling!

  • JWatts||

    That's a waste of time and money.

    To you maybe, but clearly some people with money disagree.

  • Paul.||

    Why the fuck would I pay for sexless cuddling when I've gotten that my entire life for free?

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Free doesn't pay the bills, Jack.

  • Bean Counter||

    Seriously, there are men who do not have anyone in their lives of the opposite sex who are capable of controlling their sex drives. They just want human contact. Widowers, divorced men, men who were raised by the kind of people who would outlaw snuggling - this is their potential client base.

  • Bean Counter||

    Uh, fat and ugly guys, too.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    But a cop would just bitch-slap a snuggler and sit on her for free.

  • Bean Counter||

    Well, that's a given. I was talking about civilized people.

  • Bean Counter||

    A wise man (I believe it was me) once said that a person's assumptions about the motivations of others says more about her than the person she's judging. IOW, don't trust anyone who assumes everyone is just waiting to do something nasty. Jennifer's attitude says volumes about her. I'm thinking "God help any man who tries to date or even open a door for her!" Or woman, for that matter.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    They say that anything sexual wouldn't be tolerated. What would be too sexual for them? Spooning? Getting a boner while spooning?

  • perlhaqr||

    Good god. Are they going to outlaw puppies and kittens next?

  • Radioactive||

    Please don't give them any ideas...at a minimum if they don't outright outlaw puppies & kittens, they'll tax the hell out of them, then the puupy & kitten mills will want a subsidy...you can see where this leads...a puppy & kitten surplus...oh the horror

  • Bean Counter||

    Please note there is no law that prohibits snuggling businesses. They're just dispensing with the need for that tiresome bill of rights, public hearings, accountability and going straight to: "I don't like it, so you can't do it." Sort of like the Denver city council deciding that a constitutional amendment legalizing pot is no reason not to keep arresting people for smoking it on their own property.

  • Warrren||

    No hat tip?

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Why doff? Please expose.

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