Louisiana Court Clerk Employee Charged With Stealing Cocaine From Evidence Locker; “Not the Brightest Crayon in the Box” Says Defense Attorney, Oh and His Mom’s a Judge

justice is... relativebloomsberries/foter.comWilliam Bates Colvin worked at the East Baton Rouge Parish Clerk of Court’s Office when he was accused of stealing 22 kilos of cocaine and earning a profit of $200,000 off it. Colvin was indicted along with five others in December but has been cooperating with authorities, admitting to everything according to his defense lawyer.  Colvin’s mother is a state district judge in the area which has caused some controversy over which judge should preside over Colvin’s case; many local judges have recused himself from the case and prosecutors are upset a state district judge who’s a colleague of Colvin’s mother has been assigned.

Authorities don’t believe Colvin’s been honest about the money, either, and suspect he’s hiding a portion of the $200,000 profit he made. They’ve recorded jailhouse telephone conversations where Colvin refers to accounts at various banks. His defense attorney’s defense? Colvin’s a moron. Via The Advocate:

In interviews with detectives, Colvin said he spent some $20,000 on a vehicle and $30,000 on “an assortment of jewelry,” the affidavit shows.

[Defense attorney Frank] Holthaus, however, said that Colvin is “not an accurate historian on the amounts of money and where it went because of his own drug-induced state of mind” at the time he was stealing the cocaine.

In a preview of the mitigating evidence he intends to offer at sentencing, Holthaus said Colvin had been suffering through substance-abuse issues, taking what he referred to as “Xanax whoppers.”

“He’s not the brightest crayon in the box and that has caused us a lot of trouble,” Holthaus said, “but being stupid and being guilty ain’t the same thing.”

But being stupid is not disqualification from getting a job with the government, especially if your mom’s already in it. Colvin was also caught on tape in a jailhouse conversation saying he expected to get a deal because of his mom’s connections to the court. The defense attorney says he has faith in the local judges and doesn’t think an outside judge (who was a colleague of Colvin’s mom anyway) should have been appointed.

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  • Brett L||

    Authorities don’t believe Colvin’s been honest about the money, either, and suspect he’s hiding a portion of the $200,000 profit he made.
    ...
    “He’s not the brightest crayon in the box and that has caused us a lot of trouble,” Holthaus said, “but being stupid and being guilty ain’t the same thing.”

    This is why we need the NSA to cooperate with law enforcement! Without them even the stupid criminals can outsmart the police!

  • MasterDarque||

    Indeed comrade indeed

  • The Late P Brooks||

    22 kilos? $200k?

    Somebody forgot to use his DEA Street Value Multiplier table.

  • SIV||

    That is less than $10k a kilo profit on free cocaine

  • Agammamon||

    It was probably already cut way down.

    Remember, only the state gets to charge as if the drugs were pure - your buyer ain't paying that.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    If he was a cop, he'd be on a beach somewhere, spending his direct deposited paychecks while waiting to get back to the important business of crime fighting.

  • Dweebston||

    Chatting freely on a jailhouse line is a stronger indicator of imbecility than anything else in this story.

  • sarcasmic||

    He was selling it for ten bucks a gram? Damn! Where was I?

  • Duke||

    Can my state ever be in the news for something good?

  • Prisoner Zero||

    Hey couyon, Saints won the Superbowl. What else could you possibly want?

  • frankania||

    I was in the EBR jail in 1962 for stealing "white only" signs from the public restrooms as a protest.
    Gee, if they stop PROHIBITION, none of this useless cocaine business will happen again.

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