Jorge Mario Bergoglio Named New Pope, Obama Meets with House GOP, Hostess Finds Buyer: P.M. Links

  • but what's he think about obama?Aibdescalzo/WikipediaThe Roman Catholic Church's newest pope is Francis I, formerly Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina.
  • President Barack Obama is meeting with House Republicans today for the first time in almost two years. He already undercut his own efforts by telling ABC News that there may be too large a divide between the two parties to come to a budget deal.
  • The next places to recognize gay marriage may be New Zealand and Minnesota.
  • Chinese officials are attempting assure Shanghai residents that even though 6,000 dead pigs were found in the river that provides the city’s drinking water, everything is just fine.
  • Hostess’ snack division has found a buyer to the tune of $410 million. Their bread brands have already been sold off to a different company.

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  • Virginian||

  • ||

    Oh man. My bf told me about that NYT story and how ridiculously pathetic they were clearly getting. Sooooo glad it's even stupider than we thought.

  • Virginian||

    It sadly does work though. My grandpa built the camera they used on Apollo missions. But he dropped his NRA membership because they became "too extreme".

  • Corneliusm||

    I had originally dropped my NRA membership for not "being extreme enough". I give my money to SAF and GOA instead.

  • Adam.||

    I didn't realize foresters were so extreme

  • Tonio||

    Cool story, Virg. I thought they used off-the-shelf Hasselblads. Or are you talking about the teevee cam?

  • Virginian||

    Hey, if he was bullshitting me, he was bulshitting me. Grandpas do that sometimes. I was just a kid when he told me.

    One thing I know for sure: if I make a checkable claim here, and I'm wrong, someone will correct me in moments. It's like a misanthropic, neurotic, profane version of Siri.

  • Fatty Bolger||

  • BakedPenguin||

    Well, there's also Gabby Gifford's husband.

  • Virginian||

    See, he's just a straight up useful idiot. He really does think that the government would be benevolent and fair about background checks, that only the truly mentally ill would be denied their rights. That it would never become a classic example of a Catch 22 where anyone who wants to own guns is obviously mentally unstable and thus can't be allowed to own them.

    That's why they're pushing so hard on the "mental health" front. Once they get that, then they'll be able to do anything they want to some poor bastard if they can get one "mental health professional" to diagnose him with some bullshit malady.

  • BakedPenguin||

    ...and anyone who wants a gun is probably a conservative or libertarian, which to them, would be prima facie evidence of mental illness.

    And he absolutely doesn't give a shit in any event, given that after the slope has been slipped upon, he'll still be able to get an "assault rifle," because he's not little people.

  • John||

    I love how the same guy can troll them over and over again.

  • ||

    I love how the same guy can troll them over and over again.

    So it's out of enjoyment that you continually respond to Palin's Buttplug? Because I would have gone with "definition of insanity".

  • John||

    What can I say, I am just the kind of guy who bangs on the monkey cage at the zoo.

  • RBS||

    Sure, but are you the guy that bangs on the raptor pen at Jurassic Park?

  • mr lizard||

    No that's my job

  • Bobarian||

    PB is the guy who sits in a cage and flings poop at John

  • Proprietist||

    I don't know why I continually respond to John for that very reason.

  • John||

    Lighten up Francis.

  • Xenocles||

    You mean "Lighten up, Your Holiness." Show some respect.

  • ||

    His name's Proprietist, not Poperiotous.

    (full disclosure: this seemed funny in my head)

  • Proprietist||

    Pope Riotous would work, considering the discussion of Pope Hilarius earlier.

  • db||

    Hot Pope?

  • db||

    Er, "got"

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    He looks a little too much like Harry Reid for my liking.

  • C. Anacreon||

    Or Harry Morgan of "Dragnet" and "MASH" fame

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Don't forget AfterMASH.

  • BakedPenguin||

    That's just evil, reminding people of that.

    On a funnier note, I remember watching some show where Loretta Swit was ragging on Gary Burghoff because he was apparently a real prick to work with. (Coming in late constantly, not being prepared.)

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    AfterMASH was better than Trapper John M.D. Pernell Roberts can suck it!

  • R C Dean||

    See, people, this is why we have RC'z Law. That is one typo that will be hard to top.

  • db||

    I learned it from watching YOU!

  • Killazontherun||

  • ||

    You can't credit yourself with the best RC'z Law. That's like giving yourself your own nickname.

  • Killazontherun||

    Best typo. The best RC'z law is RC'z Law itself.

  • db||

    And I got the credit from the acknowledged master!

  • Killazontherun||

  • ||

    Paging Dr. Freud.

  • phandaal||

    I believe they call that a "Freudian Nipple."

  • Heedless||

    Freudian clit

  • MJGreen||

    Sometimes a pope hat is just a throbbing erection.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    He already undercut his own efforts by telling ABC News that there may be too large a divide between the two parties to come to a budget deal.

    Ladies and gentlemen, the greatest political genius of our time.

  • C. Anacreon||

    You know who else was the greatest political genius of his time?

  • $park¥||

    Darius I?

  • alittlesense||

    No, that would have been Ethelbert the Uneducable, or his son Ethelmertz the Unspeakable.

  • Ice Nine||

    Machiavelli?

  • Drake||

    Pompey? Cicero?

  • Tonio||

    Uh, uh, Ducky. You're suspended for three games. Only one entry per comment. Sheesh, you young guys.

  • mr lizard||

    HeMan

  • cavalier973||

    Jack Stiles?

  • Pro Libertate||

    He's such a doofus.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Why, it's almost as if he really doesn't want a deal, and is actually a mendacious piece of shit.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yeah, weird, huh?

  • MJGreen||

    It's just, you know, there uhh... might be too big a... a gap, for us to come to a deal on this.

    *shrugs*

    *heads to golf course*

  • NeonCat||

    6,000 dead pigs in the river?

    Why didn't they spin it as public soup?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    The Roman Catholic Church's newest pope is Francis I...

    Now that there's a pope again, I guess I can't get away with no condom Fridays anymore.

  • ||

    No more steak and blowjob Fridays either.

  • ||

    Fist, shouldn't that have been "condom Fridays"?

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    What are you, my pope?

  • ||

    FoE is all bareback, all the time. Because condoms SUCK ASS.

  • Virginian||

    not if you like it to be joyless and without sensation as a way of punishing supermodels.

  • ||

    That's TWO condoms, not one.

  • ||

    I like condoms as added protection to prevent babies, on account of my laziness to pull out.

  • ||

    They make drugs for that.

  • ||

    Like the morning after pill, amirite?

  • ||

    Not to mention RU-486!

  • Virginian||

    Well they do, but I think the Republicans are keeping them all locked up in their dark fortress.

    Oh, yesterday someone assured me that part of the GOP platform in 2012 was banning the Pill. She (of course) truly believed this, until I pulled it up and asked her to show it to me. She couldn't find it. Then she switched tactics real quick and insisted that "a large number of House Republicans wanted to ban the Pill". I again asked her where she heard that. She tried to condescend her way out of it with "it was in the news". I finally laughed and told her that no, it wasn't. The only way it could have been more perfect was if I'd thrown her clothes at her and told her to get the hell out.

  • New West Republic||

    That's what happens when you get your political news from Facebook friends.

  • Bobarian||

    "The only way it could have been more perfect was if I'd thrown her clothes at her and told her to get the hell out."

    Umm, how about wipe your dick on her drapes, take the beer out her fridge, 'borrow' $50, and leave?

  • ||

  • CampingInYourPark||

    "Four sentenced for their role in 2009 ballot fraud"

    But ballot fraud doesn't exist

    http://troyrecord.com/articles.....519211.txt

  • Stormy Dragon||

    The argument was not that no fraud occurs, but that fraud does not occur in the form of people impersonating individual voters and that such Voter ID laws would be not do anything about actual fraud.

    And as we see in this case, where the fraud took the form of election officials forging fake ballots, voter ID would have done nothing to stop them.

  • Brandybuck||

    The lack of a particular crime is not an excuse to deliberately facilitate the perpetration of that crime.

    Opposing voter identification because some forms of voter fraud are rare, is like opposing property deeds because squatters are rare.

    Some specific voter identification proposals are bad, but the idea of requiring identification is not. It's such a no brainer that the louder the Democrats push back on this issue the more I think they're got some ulterior motive.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Some specific voter identification proposals are bad, but the idea of requiring identification is not.

    Ah, so you want to ban absentee voting? After all, they're all submitted without identification. And since absentee ballots are a far more common source of ballot fraud than in person voting, that would also do a lot more to solve the fraud problem we're all so worried about.

    Except that absentee voters lean heavily Republican, and this is really about trying to discourage Democrat voters and the whole fraud thing is just a convenient excuse.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    "The argument was not that no fraud occurs, but that fraud does not occur in the form of people impersonating individual voters and that such Voter ID laws would be not do anything about actual fraud."

    "Ah, so you want to ban absentee voting? After all, they're all submitted without identification. And since absentee ballots are a far more common source of ballot fraud than in person voting"

    I see making consistent arguments isn't your strong suit. Granted, it did take you over 2 hours to contradict yourself.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Chinese officials are attempting assure Shanghai residents that even though 6,000 dead pigs were found in the river that provides the city’s drinking water, everything is just fine.

    The swine actually absorbed the regular everyday Chinese water pollutants like charcoal.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    Uncle Buck is roaring back! King Dollar reigns!

    http://www.businessinsider.com.....lar-2013-3

  • OldMexican||

    And the idiot bought it!

    Ha ha ha ha!!!

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    money shot for you, OM

    Thanks to a U.S. economy that is outperforming its peers in the developed world, an improving energy trade balance spurred by a domestic energy boom, and a shifting interest rate environment, market practitioners are coming around to the notion that the dollar is poised to enter a new bull market.

    Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com.....z2NSEe0kfN

  • Virginian||

    How many times do we have to tell you, being the strongest horse at the glue factory doesn't mean much.

    Just like with freedom in general, the US is still much better then most of the world. Which just shows you how shitty the rest of the world is.

  • Paul.||

    Thanks to a U.S. economy that is outperforming its peers in the developed world,

    Well DERRR! We haven't run out of other people's money... yet. Illinois and California have. Strongly worded letters from the SEC not withstanding.

    an improving energy trade balance spurred by a domestic energy boom

    Something Obama and his supporters are fighting tooth-and-nail...

    market practitioners are coming around to the notion that the dollar is poised to enter a new bull market.

    "Poised" which in the results-oriented community is known as 'might'.

    However, I will give you this, looks like the sequester is having a bigger positive impact than even I thought. Go austerity!

  • Enough About Palin||

    "market practitioners are coming around to the notion that the dollar is poised to enter a new bull market."

    That word "bull", I don't think it means what you think it means.

  • OldMexican||

    Re: Palin's Buttwipe,

    Thanks to a U.S. economy that is outperforming its peers in the developed world,


    You mean peerless U.S. is outperforming its "peers"????

    The idiot buys this stuff!!! I'm rolling on the floor, laughing!

    [...] market practitioners are coming around to the notion that the dollar is poised to enter a new bull market.


    Go ahead, buttwipe! It's your money! Just remember one thing: most of us here are supposed to be heartless Randians, so don't expect any sympathy when you have to sell your hair for a plate of lentils.

  • Rasilio||

    Hey if you think that then here is a tip for you, in a couple of weeks you'll have the ability to buy and sell currency exchange futures right on your iPad (with iPhone and Androids soon to follow).

    Basically legalized gambling on whether the Dollar/Euro exchange rate will be above various price points in 5, 15, and 60 minute increments all nice and licensed through the CFTC

  • John||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....ead_module

    Tiger Woods' ex dating a billionaire. She takes Tiger for a half a billion. You would think she would date maybe an ordinary millionaire or something. Good thing she doesn't date men based on their bank accounts.

  • Palin's Buttplug||

    How many fake wives has Fat Rush (King of the Rednecks - praise be unto him) paid off?

  • John||

    Needs more Christfag

  • Virginian||

    So Rush was born in '51. He got married at 26 in 1977, divorced in 80. Then, in 1983 he got married to a college student, who's gotta be 8 or 10 years younger then him. Divorced her in 1990, when he was 39. Got married again to another younger woman in 1994, they divorced in 2004. Finally, we get the big one. He married his current wife in 2010. The wedding entertainment was Elton freaking John, and she's half his age.

    Rush is someone to aspire to be. The man is hilarious, successful, and all around alpha as fuck. He probably reminds shriek of the father who was always so disappointed in his son's profession fluffing for gay porn films.

  • John||

    Making enough money to trade in your wife on a younger model every five or ten years. Not so bad.

  • Paul.||

    Especially when the wives have the same plan, in reverse. Trade the husband out every five years for an older, richer model.

    From where I stand, this is win-win-win for everyone involved.

  • John||

    Yeah. It is pretty much a business proposition at that stage. See Tiger Woods' ex wife I linked to above. Hot women marry rich men to make the money on their backs they can't make on their own. Rich men marry hot women knowing they can them off and get another one when they get tired of the first one.

  • kinnath||

    In contrast, I celebrated my 37th anniversary yesterday.

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Congrats, Kinnath.

  • cavalier973||

    congrats!

  • hotsy totsy||

    One of the reasons men try to get rich and famous in the first place. If Rush wasn't rich, he'd be married to your 180 pound Aunt Gert. And she'd probably be his third or fourth wife.

    Poor to middlin' men "trade in" wives too, they just don't get hot ones.

  • Virginian||

    One of the reasons The only reason men try to get rich and famous in the first place.

  • kinnath||

    Those aren't wives, they're concubines.

  • Paul.||

    Those aren't wives, they're concubines.

    *squints*

    Not seeing an issue with that if you're rich and can afford.

    Like Chris Rock said, you got $20 million, she get ten? You ain't starvin... but you got $30,000 she get fiteen? You just might have to kill her.

  • hotsy totsy||

    ^^ True. And OJ killed Nicole in a jealous fit even though he had another hot girlfriend and no doubt always did.

  • hotsy totsy||

    Prince Charles divorced Diana for an older woman who looked like Diana would have had she been her age.

  • ||

    Hey now, fluffing is honest work and helps firm up a lucrative industry.

  • gaijin||

    the ranks of the fluffers are swelling in today's economy.

  • ||

    It's a hard job, but there's no job satisfaction like helping your coworkers achieve satisfaction.

  • Paul.||

    I thought you were going to say, "Helps firm up a flaccid industry"

  • ||

    The whole point of fluffing is to set 'em up so others can knock 'em down, no?

  • Paul.||

    You really ought to have that checked out, shrike. I'm becoming genuinely concerned.

    We could have a discussion about the benefits of Honey Nut Cheerios over Regular Cheerios, and somehow it would be a referendum on Dick Cheney to you.

  • NeonCat||

    Cheerios have holes, and Cheney put holes in his friend's face with a shotgun.

    "Try moar harder"

  • hotsy totsy||

    Honey Nut Cheerios is an Omar reference.

  • Paul.||

    You caught that. Omar Little figures very highly in my personal psyche.

    Life is a metaphor for Omar Little.

    Omar Little.

    Omar.

  • MJGreen||

    Comin'!

  • hotsy totsy||

    Good thing Tiger doesn't date women based on their looks.

  • Coeus||

    Does feminism really have any coherent ideology except women should never be told their choices have consequences?

    A NYC campaign from the Human Resource Administration “Think Being A Teen Parent Won’t Cost You?” is drawing deserved criticism from reproductive justice leaders and organizations for shaming teen mothers and fathers in the name of reducing early pregnancy rates. Since the ads were unveiled last week boasting such stale and infuriating slogans as “I’m twice as likely not to graduate high school because you had me as a teen” and “Honestly mom…chances are he won’t stay with you. What will happen to me?” (pictured above), they’ve been pissing off feminists and reproductive justice advocates… and doing nothing for NYC teens outside of shaming and blaming them.
  • Killazontherun||

    reproductive justice leaders and organizations

    Orwell, you are outmatched.

  • RBS||

    Reproductive justice? What the fuck does that even mean? Aside from "you are not responsible for the consequences of you actions."

  • JW||

    "Bailiff! Whack his pee-pee!"

  • JW||

    What the fuck does that even mean?

    No justice, no piece?

  • Enough About Palin||

    =1 box of condoms

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    If there was true reproductive justice, a mother would be allowed to sue her children for wrecking her vagina.

  • ||

    No way, dude. Mom fully consented to that when she didn't handle her business.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Modern Feminism: Empowering women by telling them they are victims in every single aspect of their lives.

  • gaijin||

    They've been liberated from the belief that their victimhood has limits.

  • ||

    I don't think they're going far enough. How about some "Who do you think is going to want you after you're saddled with someone else's brat?" posters?

  • ||

    Provided you only have kids with one partner I think it's ok. Once you have a slew of half-sibling children it's a no-go.

  • ||

    Meh, I know lots of people are less bothered, but a dude with even one previous kid would be a total dealbreaker for me. But then I am not a big fan of having kids to begin with.

  • ||

    See, I want kids, but haven't found the right baby to steal from a well-adjusted, heteronormative, WASP family yet. But when I do...

  • Virginian||

    In most cases, I'd never see a single mom. This one is the exception.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    You'd get to miss out on all the pain, lack of sleep, various trainings, all sorts of stuff the kid wouldn't remember anyway, then take possession of a literate, well-behaved young woman ready to absorb your knowledge and wisdom. Seems like a win.

  • ||

    Only if you want the kid, though.

  • Virginian||

    Eh, I've met her kids in passing, and they seem nice enough. But we both like this strictly casual. At least, she says that, and I don't think she's lying, but whatever.

    I actually do like kids, and one day I might have some. But they'll be mine, not some other guys. I've seen too much of the "stepdad pays the bills and makes me do homework, but my real dad takes me to ball games and lets me stay up late on my weekends with him" to want anything to do with that.

  • ||

    Aren't you supposed to hate breeders? Be more judgmental.

  • ||

    Is it enough if he just hates you?

  • ||

    As long as he hates you, too.

  • ||

    Aww, guys don't fight, unless it's baby oil wrestling, in which case I'll make everyone some kettle corn.

  • ||

    I love kettle corn! Fight, fight!

  • ||

    (sucker-punches Warty)

  • ||

    Nicole, everybody loves kettle corn. Except maybe SF.

  • ||

    I bet Epi also hates it, since he is worse than Hitler.

    BTW, Epi, remember to go for the eyes if you need to.

  • ||

    Kettle corn is fucking disgusting. Seriously.

    (gouges Warty's eyes)

  • JW||

    everybody loves kettle corn

    ::Sheepishly raises hand::

    I've had what is supposedly very good kettle corn (so I was told) and all it tasted to me was cloying, sugared popcorn. Meh.

  • ||

    Some people think "good" kettle corn is supposed to be really sweet, but it's better if it's lightly sweet and lightly salty. the sweet+savory combo is what makes it tasty. Overly sweet and you might as well have caramel corn.

    There's a restaurant near me that does kettle corn with furikake (shredded seaweed, sesame seeds, salt and bonito flakes) and it's vurry tasty.

    Christ Epi, this is why you're fighting Warty instead of sitting on the couch enjoying delicious snacks.

  • ||

    He's just terrified of carbs. If he warmed up to kettle corn, he might not be able to wear short enough miniskirts to keep the alpha dick coming.

    I don't blame him. Fortunately for me, you, the newly crowned queen of the H&R kitchen, are thousands of miles away and therefore not a real danger. Except to my heart...

  • Randian||

    Ew. Kettle Corn is seriously gross. What is wrong with you people?

  • ||

    Well, there it is: abortion, circumcision, and kettle corn, the H&R trifecta of pointless argumentation.

  • ||

    "Hey, I've got an idea! What if we put sugar on popcorn?"

    "You're an idiot with a sweet tooth. You're drunk, go home."

    (suplexes Warty, who apparently isn't defending himself)

  • ||

    Are you sure he isn't just waiting for you to collapse into a sweaty heap of exhaustion for the rape-win? I'll be honest, I was expecting a better showing from Warty on this one.

  • ||

    (Lying on the floor in a puddle of blood and with obviously broken limbs and a hideously broken neck, seemingly dead. Opens one eye. Quietly looks around to make sure that everyone is gone. Rolls over and sets the broken bones in his arms and legs, which make an audible *snick!* as the bones align and seemingly heal. Slowly stands up. Does the same with his neck. Eyes begin to glow red. Walks away as ominous music begins to play.)

  • ||

    Nope, straight people can keep having kids until 2030. If I stop them now there won't be any 18-year-olds with daddy issues for me to bed when I turn 65. I'll need something to console me since SS will be gone.

  • Rasilio||

    Given that both my ex and current wives had toddlers when I met them, apparently me

  • Killazontherun||

    Given the disturbing number of abortions the women I've been with over the previous two decades, I can't say I've been in that situation. By disturbing I mean, you've been through that procedure once and hated it, why would you find yourself doing it all over again two, three, four more times?

  • Virginian||

    Stated versus revealed preferences. Sometimes when you set a trap, the fox gnaws his own foot off rather then be captured. Then you need to throw out the bait.

  • Killazontherun||

    Women. I love them, but, man, can they give me the willies without even trying.

  • ||

    It usually works the other way if you're male.

  • rac3rx||

    Given that both my ex and current wives had toddlers when I met them...

    How many current wives do you have?

  • OldMexican||

    Re: Coeus,

    reproductive justice leaders


    "I deserve to have Brad Pitt's baby!"

    and doing nothing for NYC teens outside of shaming and blaming them.


    They should instead, for instance, give them free abortions!

  • wareagle||

    once upon a time, the concept of shame kept people from doing stupid things, or at least made them think harder about doing them. Good grief; someone says teen preggers is a bad thing and the feminists are pissed?

  • RBS||

    Just watch an episode of Teen Mom and then tell me teen pregnancy is a good idea.

  • Brandon||

    Do a teen mom's tax return and tell me teen pregnancy is a bad idea.

  • Bobarian||

    That is one big paycheck a year.

    Teen pregnancy is a bad idea!

  • hotsy totsy||

    Another costly choice women make is having a career first and then trying for kids in their thirties and forties when it's a lot harder to conceive. End up spending tens of thousands in treatments and IVF, or surrogate mothers, etc. Even adoption is expensive and difficult.

    Marry a rich older man at 20, have your children, then divorce him and take half his money plus child support. Then have your career. Sort of a reverse Rush strategy.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Someone should teach women that if they take care of it, their brain will age a lot more gracefully than their uterus. Course, society has to recognize that too.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Maybe if those who made poor choices were shamed and blamed more, fewer people would follow suit.

  • ||

    They could oppose this under the principle that the government shouldn't be spending money promoting this one way or the other. But they don't.

  • OldMexican||

  • RBS||

    I hope they go through with it. Maybe buy the NYT while they're at it.

  • db||

    Are their other enterprises too profitable? Need something to show a loss?

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    Something to write off for the taxes.

  • The Other Kevin||

    Obama already sent a world leader an iPod full of his speeches, so maybe he'll send the new Pope an iPad loaded with videos of himself.

  • Paul.||

    In trying to figure out why the non-catholic media (like NPR) is so utterly fascinated about who the next pope will be. It's come down to the two most pressing civil rights issues of the last two centuries:

    Abortion
    Gays

    NTTATWWT

  • $park¥||

    You don't suppose it could be an attempt to keep their Catholic listeners tuned in, do you?

  • RBS||

    They always seem surprised when the new Pope says he doesn't like gay marriage and doesn't like contraceptives.

  • rac3rx||

    In other words, the left gets all offendy when they discover that the Pope is actually a Catholic.

    Although, as a Catholic, I find all of the ignorant speculation by non-Catholics both irritating and amusing.

  • Paul.||

    You don't suppose it could be an attempt to keep their Catholic listeners tuned in, do you?

    *sticks fingers in ear*

    No. Because do we get 1000 hours of reporting on who's running the LDS? Unless they're only interested in their Catholic listeners...

    You may be on to something. Marginalizing their mormon audience. Interesting theory. I like the way you think.

  • hotsy totsy||

    Way way way more Catholics than LDS.

  • Paul.||

    So it's all about money. I see how it is.

  • wareagle||

    they keep hoping the Catholics will become the Episcopalians. It's like expecting Baptists to be Methodists.

  • The Other Kevin||

    I have heard people in the media wondering if the new pope will take a different line on women priests, gay marriage, etc. Of course, not realizing that you don't become a higher-up in the Catholic church by opposing existing church doctrine.

  • Paul.||

    This.

  • Killazontherun||

    I find Catholics who advocate for the church to 'modernize' to be annoying. The church doesn't need to step up, the advocates need to move on and realize the church isn't for them.

  • gaijin||

    It is interesting to me that so many Catholics in the US seem to think the church should embrace a democratic approach to administering church doctrine. Can you be statist in your religion but not in your governing?

  • ||

    I don't know, seems to make sense. They are equally statist when it comes to religion and government. They have seen government evolve from a form very similar to the RC Church's, while the RC Church stayed the same. Why can't RC Church evolve in the same way? I mean, obviously if you actually believe the tenets of the Church, it can't, but if you actually believed in the divine right of kings, you wouldn't be ready for democratic government either. I think they are just truly thinking of them in the exact same way, which is to say, not thinking very hard or well. As per usual.

  • Randian||

    I find Catholics who advocate for the church to 'modernize' to be annoying. The church doesn't need to step up, the advocates need to move on and realize the church isn't for them.

    Yes this! Find a different faith if the one currently practiced bothers you. That's what the Lutherans and the Anglicans did.

  • Pi Guy||

    That's how I came to atheism.

  • Xenocles||

    It worked for me.

  • John||

    It is like wondering if the next head of NARAL will be more conciliatory towards the pro life view.

  • Paul.||

    Yeah, but that's completely different.

  • gaijin||

    Popey McChange!

  • ||

    Surviving an Active Shooter Event

    I imagine this would look quite different made by the Reason commentariat.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    For want of a Gun Free Zone sign on their office building...

  • db||

    My plan for surviving one at work is to throw a brick tied to the end of a rope out my window, climb down said rope, get to my car and retrieve my piece, and see if I can do anything to stop 'em.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Statistics show that most people have their own bricks stolen and used against them.

  • db||

    That's why I keep my brick disassembled and locked in a filing cabinet.

  • Corneliusm||

    It's Houston, everyone CCs there. They could have saved money (and lives) just by running these steps:

    Step 1: Take cover (if available)
    Step 2: Unholster weapon
    Step 3: Remove safety (if available)
    Step 4: Aim at shooter
    Step 5: Pull trigger
    Step 6: Repeat steps 4-5 until threat is incapacitated
    Step 7 (most important): Call up NRA, go on lucrative "suck it Bloomberg" tour.

  • T||

    We have to keep our carry pieces in the car where I work as the company doesn't want them in the building. So an active shooter event would mean a mad dash for the parking lot by all of us with CHLs. And that's a startlingly large percentage of the workforce here.

  • Coeus||

    Shit, half the people I know with guns in their car don't have CHLs in Texas.

  • ||

    That's because you don't need one to have a gun in your car in Texas.

  • Coeus||

    I'm aware. I was just responding to this:

    So an active shooter event would mean a mad dash for the parking lot by all of us with CHLs. And that's a startlingly large percentage of the workforce here.

    I'm saying that I think it'll be an even larger percentage than he thinks.

  • Gray Ghost||

    I thought you were shitting me that the video's from Houston, until I opened the link. WTF? Richmond's so potholed that you need a fucking Humvee to drive in the left lane, and our idiot mayor found money for this? I thought Bill White was bad at times, what with his love for the overgrown, pedestrian maiming, tonka train, but she's even worse.

    Seriously, the roads here are absolutely awful for a place that doesn't get snow or has frost worth mentioning. But they have time for this crap, and for turning the Buffalo Bayou flood plain into a music pavilion. Don't they know that it floods? A lot?

    Ugh. It's still better than CA.

    My last job actually went beyond the employee handbook saying, "No, no, no" to weapons and put up complying 30.06 signs. Sigh. Their property, their rules. At least my heirs might be able to sue if they screw up security.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    30.06 signs

    On the parking lot or the buildings (or both)?

    I could deal with 30.06 on the buildings if I had to, but making it so that you couldn't legally carry even to and from work would have had me looking elsewhere.

  • Gray Ghost||

    I think it was just the buildings. (I took the bus to work---cue laughter: it was a trying time---and so didn't look that hard at the employee lot. I don't recommend using Metro to get around Houston.) I think they hadn't passed the "no looking for guns in your employees' cars" law yet. Academic for me, as I didn't have a CHL at the time. Still better even then than CA.

    The CA case cited in Morning links is just galling. That they confiscate weapons in the name of someone who's had a 48-hr hold is galling, if somewhat understandable in light of Sandy Hook, Phoenix and Denver, but to go and confiscate the weapons of everyone in the household is out and out Orwellian. And, if I read the reports correctly, there isn't compensation for the seized weapons. I think CA argues that the registrant can later petition for the weapons (30 days of the seizure, IIRC), and if they choose not to petition, then the property is abandoned. Disgusting.

  • CampingInYourPark||

    "The USDA is considering buying 400,000 tons of sugar in an aim to limit supply and boost prices so that sugar producers can pay back government loans that they’re in danger of defaulting on, the Wall Street Journal reports."

    I will buy your sugar so you can pay me back that loan with the money I just bought this sugar with. It's a win-win!

    http://reason.com/24-7/2013/03.....gar-bailou

  • John||

    The country is broke and fat, so the solution is clearly subsidize sugar growers.

  • Pro Libertate||

    There's no logic like government logic.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Why don't they just cut to the chase, forgive the loans, and burn the sugar?

  • Killazontherun||

    There public health policy is now mimicking their gun control policy? What do they plan to do with all of that sugar?

  • Killazontherun||

    There Their

  • RBS||

    Gov't Rum.

  • db||

    Make more ethanol.

  • Brandon||

    Yep. They sell it to ethanol producers at a loss, and then subsidize the ethanol producers. The government manages to lose money three different times in this deal.

  • Not an Economist||

    I find it interesting they can find the money to do this but still want to furlough people.

  • gaijin||

    to limit supply and boost prices

    Kind of like what's going on with ammo and the DHS's order of a billion rounds?

  • John||

  • Pro Libertate||

    Before 9/11, this idea of banks spying on everyone was fought tooth and nail by just about everyone, particularly the banks.

  • John||

    http://pjmedia.com/jchristiana.....j-says-so/

    This article makes a very good point. Lefties are currently having a case of the vapors that Scalia dared to say that section five of the VRA was nothing but a racial entitlement scheme. But then we see the IG report on the DOJ handling of voting rights cases and find out that liberals at DOJ at least view it as exactly that and don't think any case should ever be brought involving white voters who were disenfranchised.

  • John||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....-spot.html

    Shakira napped herself a rich soccer player and turned into a seriously cute mom. Good for her.

  • rac3rx||

    Only good if it means she'll shut the fuck up.

  • Coeus||

    Sheryl Sandberg on why it's OK to cry at work.

    What was most striking to me in the book was Sandberg's chapter on being emotional at the office, sharing stories of when she cried in front of her coworkers. And she believes it's OK because "sharing emotions builds deeper relationships" and places an importance on striving for "authenticity over perfection," adding that "maybe the compassion and sensitivity that have historically held some women back will make them more natural leaders in the future." As someone who's a cryer—it's an uncontrollable physical response to emotions like anger and frustration—I found this really powerful and in contrast to everything I'd ever thought about tears at work. For example, when it's happened to someone as powerful as Hillary Clinton, it seemed to undermine her. She was accused of either being weak or just playing her girlie emotional card to get out of a bad situation. Sandberg sees it differently
  • John||

    I am sure Sandberg never played the "now you made a girl cry you big meanie" card. Whatever.

  • Coeus||

    She's the CEO. Gotta be ruthless. Use everything, leave nothing.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    sharing emotions builds deeper relationships

    If I wanted deeper relationships, I wouldn't be at work.

  • Bam!||

    Feminism is increasingly convincing me that women shouldn't be allowed in the work place.

  • Virginian||

    As someone who's a cryer—it's an uncontrollable physical response to emotions like anger and frustration

    Oh is it now? You know what, my dad is a bit of a drunk, definitely an asshole, and we don't have a great relationship. But damn it if he didn't do things that would nowadays get CPS called, but are the right ways to raise kids. The most important of which is, upon seeing me cry, say

    "Why are you crying?"
    "*Some bullshit reason seven year old me thought was important*"
    "Crying won't fix it. Do you want it fixed?"
    "Yes"
    "Then stop crying, and fix it."

    Of course, for women, there are always pussy men around who will jump to the sound of tears and do her work for her. So I guess tears do actually work as a problem solving strategy for females.

  • ||

    I don't understand what this has to do with Jon Cryer. Hiding Out, bitches!

  • NeonCat||

    I was watching a WKRP rerun last night. Jennifer told Bailey to never cry in public, to save it for the drive home like all the men. Instead of using tears or a lawsuit Bailey instead stood up for herself and took responsibility for her problem.

    It was a different time, I guess, a less enlightened time.

  • ||

    Who made Bailey cry?!? Kill them!

  • NeonCat||

    Herb, of course. She eventually told him to shut up.

    She also cried because she thought she'd destroyed her career when the very nice doctor she brought in for a public service interview program turned out to be a total wacko.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Ms. Quarters was the hotter of the two.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    And it wasn't even really close.

  • John||

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvs.....le-MS.html

    Iron Maiden drummer dead of MS at 56.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Ex-drummer. Also, fucking MS.

  • John||

    Horrible disease.

  • ||

    Fuck MS. I would pick most cancers and maybe even congestive heart failure before I picked MS.

  • John||

    Other than ALS, it is about the worst thing that can happen to you.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Huntington's would be right there.

  • Randian||

    Early Onset Alzheimer's. I would rather be dead.

  • robc||

    If anyone hasnt seen it, check out the Flight 666 documentary. Its pretty cool and I think I know like 2 or 3 Iron Maiden songs.

  • gaijin||

    Bruce Dickinson is the man with a (flight) plan.

  • Coeus||

  • kinnath||

    Should have been obvious to anyone with half a brain.

  • Coeus||

    I found this interesting:

    One fascinating detail emerged from the researchers' efforts to tell whether a person's parents had stayed together until he or she turned 21. Although their calculations had pretty low accuracy for that variable (60 percent), the authors were surprised it was detectable through Facebook likes even a little bit. What makes a kid with divorced parents different from one whose parents are together? In the case of Facebook likes, it's that, as the authors explain, "individuals with parents who separated have a higher probability of liking statements preoccupied with relationships, such as 'If I'm with you then I'm with you I don't want anybody else.' "
  • kinnath||

    The fundamental business case for FB is to have millions of people tell FB personal information that can then be datamined for advertising.

    It surprises me in now way that they can detect the kids of broken homes.

    I can assume they can figure out if you masterbate with your left or right hand on Wednesdays.

  • Paul.||

    The fundamental business case for FB is to have millions of people tell FB personal information that can then be datamined for advertising.

    This with brass knobs on. An entire fucking business model built around you telling Facebook absolutely everything about yourself so advertisers can target you, and some university professor has just figured out that if he looks at facebook data, he can tell certain things about you.

    You know what's dumber? Facebook users will be horrified at this revelation.

  • ||

    With statistics, you can reveal patterns that would surprise you. I can't believe some of the patterns we find during our data modeling.

  • robc||

    And, of course, 1 out of 20 patterns found that is statistically significant at 2 sigma is actually bullshit.

    Danger of data mining.

    And, of course there is an xkcd that covers this:

    http://xkcd.com/882/

  • Paul.||

    Yep, at least advertisers can tweak their data based on results. Over time, if people they think they've correctly targeted aren't clicking the ads, then there's a good indicator your conclusions were wrong.

    But that takes time and thousands of secondary inputs to figure out.

  • Coeus||

    The fundamental business case for FB is to have millions of people tell FB personal information that can then be datamined for advertising.

    I'm sure they hate me. I've been using it for over a decade, and have about half a dozen "likes".

  • Paul.||

    I have a fake facebook account with fake likes. I get a lot of advertising for hair products.

  • ||

    FB is VERY concerned that I've never told it if/who I am dating.

    The upshot is there are quite a few ads with wall to wall washboard abs, the downside is that checking FB at work is REALLY awkward should someone walk in on me.

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Men's sexual orientations were predictable 88 percent of the time

    I can guess Men's sexual orientations 88 percent of the time just by always guessing that they're straight.

  • Coeus||

    Even heavy facebook users?

  • Bobarian||

    Any male facebook user over 16 is gay?

  • ||

    Boobs *like*

    Hmm better run that one through the algorithm.

  • ant1sthenes||

    What about male Pinterest users?

  • Terr||

    uhhh...duh.

  • itsnotmeitsyou||

    Who says stereotyping doesn't work...

  • Paul.||

    It certainly saves time.

  • John||

    During the Top Gear India special, they tried to beat these guys. Not a chance. This system is amazing.

    http://www.theatlantic.com/vid.....ay/273954/

  • ||

    Pope Francis only has 1 lung apparently. Looks like we'll be back here sooner than later.

  • robc||

    I have a feeling he was meant to be a short term pope. His job is to clean up the vatican and then they pick someone young for the next 20 years.

  • John||

    That is what Benedict was supposed to be.

  • robc||

    Someone was saying earlier today that he couldnt do it because it would make JP2 look bad for immediate massive change so it had to wait for the next guy.

    Could just be excuse making.

  • NeonCat||

    It's good to know that bodies other than Congress can kick the can down the road.

  • John||

    The conservatives and the liberals can't agree. So now for the second time they settle on a compromise candidate both sides can live with because they don't figure he will live too long.

  • Coeus||

    As we all know Chucky "Manboobs" Schumer is a total pansy.

    Senator Chuck Schumer (D-NY) has been one of the most publicly outspoken, calling the new law "baffling" and asking the TSA to overturn it. "Now is not the time for reduced vigilance," he said in a statement, "or to place additional burdens on TSA agents who should be looking for dangerous items, not wasting time measuring the length of a knife blade." Several other restrictions, of course, are placed on the knives: they can't lock, for example, or have razor or box-cutter blades. But his general fear that the change will put people at risk is echoed by others. Representative Ed Markey (D-MA) writes that "in the confined environment of an airplane, even a small blade in the hands of a terrorist can lead to disaster."
  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Representative Ed Markey (D-MA) writes that "in the confined environment of an airplane, even a small blade in the hands of a terrorist can lead to disaster."

    On any flight I'm on, even a small blade in the hands of a terrorist is going to lead to me grabbing the blade from the son of a bitch and jamming it up his ass until the point of the blade pierces the top of his skull.

    Should have been what happened on 9/11, but the pussification of America was already advanced.

  • Coeus||

    Ahh, you can't blame them for thinking that this hijacking would be the same as any other in commercial aviation history.

  • Virginian||

    It did happen on 9/11. Flight 93. They poured boiling water on them, they used a beverage cart to break down the cockpit door, and they went out on their feet.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Good for Flight 93, and their bravery. The other three flights were just tragic, and may have been prevented if someone acted bravely.

    I adhere to the NAP, and I was never a "pick a fight" guy. But I am not afraid of scrapping, and will not back down from bullies, thugs, or box-cutter wielding terrorists.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    In a fairness, hijacking wasn't a path to mass murder at that point. You were almost certainly more likely to get someone, or everyone, on the plane killed by scrapping, based on what passengers knew before it was too late.

  • Virginian||

    Well, in point of fact, it was. The passengers on 93 received cell phone calls about the ongoing attacks. Sharing this information, they thought about the ramifications, organized themselves, planned a counterattack, and executed it.

    The era of civilian planes used as cruise missiles was exactly one hour and forty five minutes. That's the time from the first hijacking to the beginning of the counterattack. Meanwhile the government had no idea what to do or what was going on. The most annoying thing about the legacy of 9/11 is that the lessons the government and society as a whole "learned" were entirely the wrong ones.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Well, in point of fact, I was talking about the pre-93 flights.

  • Virginian||

    No, I mean that the first tower was hit at 8:46, second at 9:02, Pentagon at 9:37. This information was known to the people on 93, through the phones, either cell phones or the ones on the seats. So they knew what would happen, and they took steps to stop it. Meanwhile the government was still standing around with their thumbs up their asses.

    Although, reading the timeline, this jumps out at me. From a passenger on 175

    "It's getting bad, Dad. A stewardess was stabbed. They seem to have knives and Mace. They said they have a bomb. It's getting very bad on the plane. Passengers are throwing up and getting sick. The plane is making jerky movements. I don't think the pilot is flying the plane. I think we are going down. I think they intend to go to Chicago or someplace and fly into a building. Don't worry, Dad. If it happens, it'll be very fast. My God, my God."

    Quite a contrast between him and Todd Beamer. Some people rage against the dying of the light, and some close their eyes and hope it's over quickly.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    My post before your first reply was in response to

    The other three flights were just tragic, and may have been prevented if someone acted bravely.

    I'm saying I don't know that enough people on the first three flights knew that they were flying in missiles to "act bravely." Their best bet at that time was to believe that their hijackings were the same as previous hijackings. Acting bravely, in that scenario, was probably more dangerous than just sitting there.

    Given perfect knowledge and/or hindsight, the choice would obviously be different.

  • hotsy totsy||

    I agree with the Todd Beamer comparison. Still though, this passenger was unsure what they were going to do. Had there been a Todd Beamer type leader, this guy probably would have gone along with fighting the terrorists.

    They were waiting for some "authority" to do something because they were in an unfamiliar environment. Had four guys with box cutters tried to ROB thirty or so people in a restaurant they'd have never gotten away with it.

  • Night Elf Mohawk||

    Reinforced cockpit doors and what the people on Flight 93 did were more than enough to take 9/11 style attack off the table without the TSA, imo.

  • robc||

    Ive said it before -- the only thing that needed to be done was put up large "Lets Roll" posters in prominent places in every airport.

    That would have done more good than anything the TSA has done.

  • Randian||

    I agree with Coeus and Virginian. Once the 93 folks learned they were going to be used as a missile instead of as hostages, they fought.

    There is no pussification of America. We're just not ready to burn the world...yet.

  • Coeus||

    There is no pussification of America.

    I wouldn't go that far....

  • Randian||

    I find that everyone likes to talk about how weak/stupid/soft/uninventive/sheeplike/insert personal hobby horse here "America" has allegedly "gotten".

    Which makes it incredibly trite and shopworn.

  • Coeus||

    Doesn't make it any less true. When a majority of people think it's perfectly appropriate to ask the government permission to accept a constitutionally protected gift from a relative, it is clear we have lost something important.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Never forget.

  • Emmerson Biggins||

    has he ever been right about anything?

  • A Serious Man||

    The Roman Catholic Church's newest pope is Francis I, formerly Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio of Argentina.

    Movie idea: From writer/director Quentin Tarantino comes a gripping crime drama of love, lust, and revenge set in the Vatican as a cardinal, a priest and two Swiss guards meet their fates over the course of two days.

    It's Pope Fiction.

  • Killazontherun||

    The evening was like any other, but for Doctor Mannes, everything changed. Stepping into his car after an exhausting day at the clinic, he was ambushed by anti-abortion extremist, his body riddled with three dozen bullets, and he was left for dead. Four years and nine surgeries later, he stands in front of the gates of Vatican City ready to exact his revenge in Back At You, Jesus Christ!

  • Jesus H. Christ||

    Bring it, muthafucka!

  • Paul.||

    *golf clap*

  • Longtorso||

    I'm just a Bergoglio
    And everywhere I go
    Somebody calls me Pontiff......

  • Pro Libertate||

    Frankly, Cardinal, I don't give a damn.

  • Coeus||

    Remember how Gifford's husband bought a gun to show how easy it was to get one with a background check? about that...

    Doug MacKinlay, the owner of Diamondback Police Supply where Kelly bought the gun, said Kelly was initially turned down when he walked into the store several weeks ago because his identification was from Texas. Kelly lived in Houston but has since moved to Arizona.
  • ||

    "You fool!" croaked the frog, "Now we shall both die! Why on earth did you do that?"

    The scorpion shrugged, and did a little jig on the drownings frog's back.

    "I could not help myself. It is my nature."

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Kelly was initially turned down when he walked into the store several weeks ago because his identification was from Texas.

    Why the hell didn't he just order one on the internet?

  • SumpTump||

    Sounds like some very cool stuff to me dude. Wow.

    www.EliteAnon.tk

  • Coeus||

    Coates, frequently called one of the best bloggers of racial issues, has this to say:

    I like a good bar. I like taking my wife to good bars and drinking with her. Every once in a while we'll be at a bar and someone (they are invariably white*) will stumble over drunkenly and decide that we should be engaged in conversation with them.

    *I am pretty sure this is because of how violence influences black communities. There's a whole choreography (especially among black men) around avoiding it. It's fairly easy to see and broadcast. If you've been acculturated to people being shot/stabbed/beat up over minor shit, you tend to be a little more careful in your interactions. You never know who you're talking to. And if you are black person of a certain age, you are intensely aware of that.

    Guess he's never been to the movies...

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