Monsters in the White House
Heroes in Action have a line of Presidential Monster action figures, including JFK as the Phantom of the White House, Ronald Reagan as The Ronmy, GW Bush as Zombush, Bill Clinton as Wolf Bill, Richard Nixon as Monster from the Watergate Lagoon (my favorite of the bunch), Barack Obama as Baracula, and Abe Lincoln as Lincolnstein.
You can see the line-up here. Reason readers are invited to propose more presidential/monster mash-ups in the comment thread. William Howard Taft as Yog-Sothoth? LBJ as Leatherface? Maybe some sort of Killer Fordbot? America's toymakers await your instructions.
Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time.
-
They nailed it with Baracula... because he really does suck!
-
Gerald Ford Pinto. Explosive action!
-
I like how you combined two things no one wanted and suddenly made the new thing desirable.
-
Stick with me, baby. It's a helluva toboggan ride.
-
I knew I was beat as soon as I read it. Fuck you.
-
Calvin Coolidge as the invisible man.
-
Though, for a president that's a good thing, not monstrous.
-
Coolidge was stopped by a woman on the street who said her friend bet her she couldn't get him to say three words. To which Coolidge replied, "Fuck off."
-
Who wouldn't want a couple of these?
-
How about not glorifying these scumbags in any way? Sorry to be a wet blanket, but I just got up and I fucking hate presidents.
"God, you're gay! You don't think violence solves anything? What kinda monster are you?"
-
Obviously, you are not sorry. If you were really sorry, you'd stop.
-
Calm down, Hitler. Do you think Ron Howard just wished Willow was great? No, and yet it was.
-
HOW DARE YOU BRING WILLOW INTO THIS!
-
Madmartigan, where have you gone?!?
-
Weight Watchers?
-
Barack Obama as Baracula
Jefferson Twilight: I hunt Blaculas.
Villain: Oh, so you hunt African-American vampires?
Jefferson Twilight: Nooo, sometimes I hunt British vampires. They don't have African-Americans in England.
Villain: Oh, I guess that makes sense...
Jefferson Twilight: Look, I hunt black vampires, I don't know what the PC name for that is. -
Damn good alt+text. Damn good.
-
Theodore Roosevelt as the "Headless" Horseman. Also, a complete line up of presidents re-imagined as characters from the Puppetmaster films would sound right.
-
Question: Are mummies a subset of zombie? Show your work.
-
No.
"The curse of the mummy is actually just a figure of speech. Vomiting locusts for a thousand years is just an old wives' tale. The real curse of the mummy is that he is completely socially inept, devoid of all manners, gold-digging, manipulative, and a selfish brat. Don't ever wake him unless you have a lot of time and money on your hands. Thank you for buying Mummies for Dummies."
-
And the 2000 year old skid marks... (shudder)
-
Neither of those things is real. Gawd.
-
James Puke-Cannon.
-
JFK looks more like Reagan than Reagan does.
-
Grover Cleveland married the daughter of a dead law partner who he was made gaurdian over. I assume that the outline of a shadow in a darkened bedroom really doesn't make for a very exciting action, though.
-
So, a proto-Woody Allen?
-
Wooden-head Wilson?
-
The Abominable William Howard Taft
-
Andrew Micheal Jackson, WARNING NOT SUITABLE FOR CHILDREN.
-
Calvin Cthulhidge
-
FTW!
-
In his house at D.C., dead Cthulhidge waits dreaming.
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhidge White House wgah'nagl fhtagn
-
Lyndon BANE Johnson
-
YEAHAHAHYAEHYEHAYHEAHYEAEHYAHYEAEHYEHAHEAEAH!
-
Thomas Jefferson of Sam
-
Hairy Truman (Sasquatch)
-
STEVE SMITH NOT AMUSED
-
Baracula... Blackula- RACIST!!!!!!
-
Baracula is cute but I would have done him as the "Creature from the African American Lagoon."
-
Cthulhu Delano Roosevelt
-
If anybody should be portrayed as a zombie, it's Nixon.
I would depict him gnawing on the limp corpse of Checkers.
-
I'm imagining some sort of Eisenhower/Tor Johnson in Plan 9 From Outer Space mashup.
-
President Eisenhowitzer: half-man, half-gun, all President.
-
+105mm
-
"William Howard Taft as Yog-Sothoth?"
That is pure WIN, that is.
-
Tippecanoe and Tentacles too?
-
Martin Van Buren, the Kinderhook Were-Fox?
John Quincy Addams? -
"John Quincy Addams"
Well played, swizzard, well played.
-
How about The Carter from the Black Lagoon?
-
And the Tru-Man with the X-Ray Eyes.
-
Lincolnstein makes no sense. Frankenstein is the name of the doctor, not the monster. He is just called The Monster. Lincolnstein should be dressed in a lab coat.