A Drink Before You Order? Not in Utah

Utah law forbids restaurants to serve alcohol “except in connection with an order for food prepared, sold, and furnished” on site. Until December, that meant diners could order a drink before selecting a meal. Now it doesn’t.

From The Salt Lake Tribune:

Compliance officers and the state’s liquor-control agency say they are warning owners that their employees are in violation of Utah law if they serve alcohol before diners actually request food. To back up the effort, authorities in undercover stings have issued citations to eateries for this type of violation, which in the past was rarely enforced.

In December alone, nine restaurants paid fines, compared with five who were cited during the 11 previous months and with only one the year before. None of the restaurants had a history of previous violations.

The stricter enforcement comes just before the opening of the Sundance Film Festival on Jan. 17. Undercover officers will be patrolling restaurants that serve many of the tens of thousands of people from Utah and worldwide who attend the 11-day event….

A spokeswoman for the Utah Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control says the enforcement effort is a reaction to restaurants becoming lax in their procedures, but those associated with dining establishments in the state contend there’s been shift toward a stricter interpretation of the law, evidenced by recent DABC warnings to all restaurant owners.

"There’s absolutely been a change in policy—a huge change," said attorney Rick Golden, who worked at the DABC from 1977 to 1988 and has since represented clients before the board that oversees the agency’s operations.

…While having a drink, patrons also were allowed to study the menu before deciding what to order, he contends.

New DABC compliance director Nina McDermott [wrote a] memo to trainers who instruct servers on alcohol laws: "I have heard from quite a few licensees (restaurants) that a patron may order one drink while reviewing the menu but no second drink will be served without an order of food. The law does not allow for a one drink exception."

…Lt. Troy Marx of the State Bureau of Investigation, whose agency conducts the undercover stings, said … that the majority of recent violations occurred after officers told servers they wanted only an alcoholic beverage—without any food.

Reason recently covered efforts to liberalize liquor laws in Kansas and the District of Columbia. Reason contributor Eric Boehm has encouraging news on that front from Pennsylvania

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  • Heroic Mulatto||

  • Mint Berry Crunch||

    "hot mormon girls" + a bit of scrolling down = picture of Lena Dunham?!

    "Fuck Google Image Search," I say.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Cleanse your mind of Lena Dunham with this:

    Erin Chambers

    She's Mormon. And red-haired.

  • ||

    I likes me teh Gingers.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Yeah, I like her.

  • Copernicus||

    OT:

    Just read this from L. Dicaprio:

    'I would like to improve the world a bit. I will fly around the world doing good for the environment,' added DiCaprio, in comments published in German.

    Thanks Leo for improving my world.

    btw, any idea what kind of carbon footprint the production of one your movie makes?

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    Negative, because all the studios purchase carbon credits now.

  • Hopfiend||

    Ahh, Papal indulgences aren't dead after all.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    (sarcastically)

  • LarryA||

    any idea what kind of carbon footprint the production of one your movie makes?

    Not to speak of the "fly around the world" part.

  • BuSab Agent||

    WTF? That's some serious bullshit there.

  • sloopyinca||

    I've been in plenty of Utah bars and without fail they always put munchies in front of me prior to taking my order. I assume that was their way around this idiotic law.

  • Xenocles||

    Do they regulate bars and restaurants the same way? Not that it makes any sense anyway, but that could be part of it.

  • sloopyinca||

    I say "bar," but I've never been in one in Utah that didn't serve food. Either way, I misread the first paragraph that said you didn't have to order food first until Jan 1, and I haven't been there since then.

  • Xenocles||

    Maybe they don't have what we would call bars.

  • sloopyinca||

    Probably not. Hell, there are quite a few states that require food sales. IIRC from my various residencies, Virginia and Georgia both do.

  • Xenocles||

    You certainly don't have to order food to be served alcohol in Virginia, though now that you mention it I'm not sure I remember seeing a place that only serves alcohol here.

  • sloopyinca||

    That's what I meant in my poorly-worded post.

  • Xenocles||

    No, I got it. I was trying to think of a counter-example among the wineries up here, but I can't. Whether that's by coincidence or rule I can't say.

  • Sevo||

    In Ohio (or at least Cinti), the bars typically have a hot-dog warmer on the bar.
    Dear ol' Dad told me early on never to get one of those dogs; they're props that have been there since the place opened to satisfy the 'food' requirement.

  • AlmightyJB||

    "In Ohio (or at least Cinti), the bars typically have a hot-dog warmer on the bar."

    Yeah, that must be Cin City thing. No food requirement in Columbus. The only hot dog warmers I've seen are sitting at the bar not on the bar.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    I used to buy a 2 gallon bucket of Busch for $10.00 at Mean Mr. Mustards in Columbus. Thursday night was "Chrome & Leather" night. The DJ would mix new wave (chrome) with heavy metal (leather). I used to pick up skanky girls there every night.

    Oh, yeah, I never saw a hot dog machine there.

  • Thelma Lenore||

    It used to be that a restaurant in VA had to serve as much food as they did booze. So you don't see pure bars here. That rule may have changed in recent years. It also used to be the case that a restaurant's name couldn't be an alcoholic beverage. So you couldn't have a bar called the Beer and Whiskey Blowout. But, I am pretty sure they changed that law.

  • sloopyinca||

    Current VA ABC Licensing requirements.

    Looks like there's still a food ratio requirement for a place that sells liquor but not for beer and wine only establishments.

  • sloopyinca||

    I've done the Monticello wine trail before, but I was drunk when we left Richmond, so I can't remember if we had food available to us.

  • KPres||

    You certainly don't have to order food to be served alcohol in Virginia,

    Yeah, but half of your sales have to come from food.

  • ||

    I thought the way it worked was, at least it was this way back in 99, that there were only "private clubs" and you payed your "membership fee" at the door (cover charge).

  • Live Free or Diet||

    I thought the way it worked was, at least it was this way back in 99, that there were only "private clubs" and you payed your "membership fee" at the door (cover charge).

    Those were long ago in VA, but much more recently in NC.

  • ||

    Those were long ago in VA

    I was talking Utah.

  • SIV||

    WTF?

    I think there are bars in GA where you can't even get peanuts.

  • Virginian||

    It's one of the cases where my libertarianism conflicts with my personal preferences. Every bar in Richmond has food, and some of it is quite good. Or at least greasy and cheap.

    But it shouldn't be a mandate!

  • sloopyinca||

    Is "Rare Olde Times" still going strong? I miss that place.*

    *RIP, Martin Creighton.

  • Virginian||

    Is "Rare Olde Times" still going strong? I miss that place.*

    Never been there, but I think it's open.

    I ate at Legends Brewery in Richmond recently. The fish and chips was excellent, as was the Golden IPA.

    Good place.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    Every bar in Richmond has food, and some of it is quite good. Or at least greasy and cheap.

    I ate at Legends Brewery in Richmond recently. The fish and chips was excellent, as was the Golden IPA.

  • sloopyinca||

    Hops on Broad Street (now closed I think) was where I ate an entire bowl of mayonnaise on a bet.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    Hmm. I've been to a Hops behind Chesterfield Town Center, and I think that one is closed too.

  • Copernicus||

    Seems easy enough:

    "Waiter, I'd like a steak and 6 GandT's. I'd like the steak an hour from now, and the drinks once every 10 minutes

  • Xenocles||

    "Certainly, Senator."

  • SweatingGin||

    coincidentally, this is my plan for the evening.

  • RaiderATO||

    Better yet...

    "Give me a T-Bone and an Old Fashioned, and cancel that T-Bone order."

  • Stevie OneLeg||

    I would order beer-battered onion rings just to see the compliance officer's head explode.

  • Copernicus||

    This would be a funny joke except that such on order would actually be perfect compliance.

  • Copernicus||

    Damn you Copernicus..

    /let me reply for you

  • SweatingGin||

    Obviously it's a loophole. They meant to ban alcohol without food, so by ordering something that complies with that exactly, you're circumventing the law. Maybe get those onion rings served on a bayonet.

  • Stevie OneLeg||

    Jello Shooters?

  • Rights-Minimalist Autocrat||

    Martinis have olives. Olives are food. QED

  • DWC||

    Is there anything in the world that governments at all levels can not make a law about? To me, it is utterly baffling to me that Americans continually refer to themselves as a free people and, lamely, speak of liberty. I have to believe that most people simply do not grasp what the word "freedom" means.

  • Stevie OneLeg||

    It means "freedom to seek government permission".

  • SweatingGin||

    And to be free of things that make you uncomfortable! Or offend you, or scare you, or...

  • Sevo||

    "or..."
    Require thought.

  • Live Free or Diet||

    I have to believe that most people simply do not grasp what the word "freedom" means.

    Compared to the thugocracies most of the world lives under, we are.
    Compared to where we ought to be, no.

  • Proprietist||

    Hey, you're free to whine about how unfree you are. Therefore, you are free.

  • Mint Berry Crunch||

    I wonder what's going through the minds of the people conducting these "undercover stings"? Think they actually believe in the usefulness of what they're doing?

  • Xenocles||

    Laws were enforced.

  • Mint Berry Crunch||

    Procedures were followed.

  • Clano'6||

    Citations were issued.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Dogs were shot.

  • Copernicus||

    "YOUs" were fucked, that's why
    (or ewes)

  • Gray Ghost||

    Mortgages were paid.

  • Oso Politico||

    They believe in early retirement and fat pensions.

  • AlmightyJB||

    Why do you hate teh children MBC?

  • sloopyinca||

    I propose a law that requires every Utah restaurant owner to purchase a dog. That way, when they're compliant, the ABC enforcement officers will still be able to get fully aroused.

  • SweatingGin||

    When you say 'aroused', do you mean in the local cop/deputy sense, or the CDC sense?

  • sloopyinca||

    It's Utah man, so I guess you're gonna have to ask each officer, as your results may vary.

  • SweatingGin||

    Ah! Lots of dogs. They said gay marriage would lead to polygamy and beastiality. Why not both at the same time?

    And of course it starts with booze beaurocrats.

  • sloopyinca||

    They should call them "Beerocrats."

  • Cytotoxic||

    http://online.wsj.com/article/.....76062.html

    "Biden flashes signals of 2016 run"

    It all makes sense now. This isn't real. Nothing since 2010 has been. This is all a Reason virtual reality designed to break me and make me accept the entire Ron Paul policy set, including the parts I don't like. To love Big Paul. Well you've won you sick sons of bitches. I'm broken. I...I'll do anything. Just please not Room 101.

  • General Butt Naked||

    Oh, it's going to get much worse, friend.

    You asked what's in Room 101...

    It's the worst thing in the world.

    2016

    Biden vs. Huckabee

  • SweatingGin||

    Santorum was the runner up, obviously it's his turn. Not sure which is worse of the two, though..

  • Cytotoxic||

    NO PLEASE NO DO IT TO JULIA DRONE.

  • RyanXXX||

    Please let this be true. If we're going to hell in a handbasket, some laughs along the way are the best we can hope for

  • JeremyR||

    He'll probably win, too. For some strange reason, kids love Biden. They think his assholeness and cluelessness are awesome.

  • KPres||

    They relate to him on an intellectual level.

  • Xenocles||

    I'd love to see someone block Pollard low and break his knees.

  • Ted S.||

    Jonathan Pollard? I could go for that.

  • Xenocles||

    Anyone else hear that jazzy "NFL on CBS" theme and wonder what was wrong with their TV?

  • Sevo||

    Naaah.
    I leave it muted until it looks like there's a reason to hear it.
    Especially muted during the nat'l anthem; I'll take football minus the dose of jingoism.

  • sloopyinca||

    Oh, you poor little babies: PoliceOne commentators lament how hard it is on them when they kill a "civilian".

    Example: Posted by bodyarmorguy on Friday, January 18, 2013 11:44 PM Pacific Report Abuse
    What gets me is the reporting "In a matter of months last year, St. Paul police officers shot and killed three civilians." Civilians as opposed to...?

  • Cytotoxic||

    As opposed to...each other perhaps? Better yet, yourself?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Is it so wrong that I want to see Tom Brady destroyed?

  • sloopyinca||

    If that's wrong, then I don't wanna be right.

  • Specail Sauce||

    I hate both of these teams. I won't be satisfied unless the field is littered with body parts and both coaches are impaled by the yardage markers.

  • sloopyinca||

    I wish you had a newsletter I could subscribe to, as I find your views intriguing and wish to learn more.

  • BelowTheRim||

    That's why I hoped for a Terrorist Attack.

    I usually root for one of those for cases like Raves at Patriots.

    Belichic, Ray Ray, and Model are to thank for my rooting interest.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    It's in a restaurant's best interests to get food into the stomach of the drinking patron. A single drink is a potential DUI. Food and a bit of time at the table helps mitigate this risk. Selling booze is a big money-maker for the restaurant biz but the arrangement seems rife with liability so with drinking and driving laws being as they are it makes sense to me that restaurants protect their drinking patrons. Why they need a law for this is goofy though.

  • Copernicus||

    "Why they need a law for this is goofy though"

    First, our nanny boorohkratz don't need to consider "why" when writing laws.

    Second, you basically answer your own question with your in depth analysis. Some people (not you) consider anything which is beneficial (eg., eat while drinking)should be mandatory.

  • Rick Santorum||

    First, our nanny boorohkratz don't need to consider "why" when writing laws.

    Yes, they do, you idiot. The purpose is twofold. First, serving booze without food is more likely to lead to undesirable behavior (public drunkenness, drunk driving). Second, bars tend toward seedier patrons, whereas places that serve food and alcohol (restaurants) do not.

    Whether that is something for the state to regulate is a matter for debate, but if you can't see the use, you're an idiot. But you're a libertarian, so I suppose that comes part and parcel.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    You seem a little jacked-up. Relax, bro. In the end, it would be nice if liquor establishments did watch out for their patrons without the need for a law making them do so. I don't see why this desire would upset a non-Libertarian such as yourself.

    In the end, the law is likely necessary considering the dire financial consequences of even buzzed driving.

  • sloopyinca||

    OT: I just realized our nation is fucked when shows like Storage Wars get more viewership than Shark Tank which is arguably the best show on network TV.

  • Sevo||

    Why?
    I haven't watched either one, but Storage Wars seems to be a combo of poker and a treasure hunt.
    What's Shark Tank?

  • Xenocles||

    Entrepreneurs sell their ideas to angel investors.

  • sloopyinca||

    Shark Tank is a reality show where people bring business ideas to a panel of sharks and ask them to invest in their venture. the panel has some top-notch self-made billionaires on it from different fields (tech, clothing, media, etc) and the people have ideas in different fields and at different stages in development, marketing, production, etc.

    Storage Wars is a bastardization of the auction process and apparently isn't even legit. Being an auctioneer, I cringe when I watch it.

  • C. Anacreon||

    I watch Storage Wars with my ten-year-old son, it's his favorite show. I have even thought of you, sloopyinca, while watching the show, as I remembered you saying you are an auctioneer. I always wondered, you being in the more southern part of the state, if you had ever crossed paths with the Brian Dennehy-like auctioneer on the show?

  • Stormy Dragon||

    Shark Tank is just as much of a bastardization. It's a bunch of people doing a clown show for the camera, and only stupid people thinks that's the way it actually works when it's not being done more for entertainment than because they actually want to invest in things.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    The Shark Tank panel features 2 Canadians from the Canadian version called "Dragon's Den"

  • sloopyinca||

    I didn't know that. O'Leary must be the rudest non-Frog Canuck ever. Herjavec is awesome.

  • JeremyR||

    I dunno. While I think the laws are stupid, at the same time, it's Utah. People live in Utah for a reason, because they are Mormon mostly, and they should have a right to set the laws that they want.

    Don't like it? Move to another state that suits your own standards.

    It's a problem when people living in another state try to tell people what they should do.

  • sloopyinca||

    The tyranny of the majority FTW!

  • sloopyinca||

    I've got a better idea: permit people to do with their private property as they see fit.

  • Xenocles||

    "It's a problem when people living in another state try to tell people what they should do."

    This needs a qualifying statement, especially the night before MLK day.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    "they should have a right to set the laws that they want"

    No. If this is what federalism is, fuck it.

  • Rick Santorum||

    If this is what federalism is, fuck it.

    Hi. Welcome to a functioning society. I hope you enjoy your stay. Please feel free to relocate to Lolbertarian Island if you feel the need to sperg out over ALCOHOL LAWS :SJDF:SDJFS

  • np||

    "Don't like it? Move to another state that suits your own standards."

    Why don't the people who want to restrict/regulate/mandate move instead?

    Actually, these people don't even have to move. They could, voluntarily, set up their own community, stores, shops, etc. I dunno, give them a seal of Mormon compliance, sort of like Kosher certification or something.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    They did.

    And called it Utah.

  • ||

    Then why are restaurants in Utah not complying with this law?

    Actually, by your logic we should be living under Native American law.

  • ||

    they should have a right to set the laws that they want.

    You mean someone should have the right to coerce me? Fuck off, statist.

  • Rick Santorum||

    You mean someone should have the right to coerce me? Fuck off, statist.

    Lolbertarianism at its finest. B-b-but FUCK YOU DAD THAT'S WHY

  • The Late P Brooks||

    From the comments:

    We need Democrats to flood this state, and vote this Taliban out of Office.

    Be careful what you wish for.

    Of course, you could always move back to Massachusetts.

  • tarran||

    Massachusetts might as well have the Taliban in charge; Martha Coakley went after supermarkets for that victimized the people of Massachusetts by opening their doors on Thanksgiving.

    The notion that the Democrats believe in personal liberty is one of the most ridiculous notions that has no basis in reality. Just look at the places where they run the show.

  • SweatingGin||

    Tipper Gore, never forget.

    In the past, I've even argued that Dems were for personal liberty. With the rise of the Obama generation, it's obvious they aren't, in the slightest.

    "Personal Liberty." So long as you don't want to use a plastic bag to hold your groceries, or buy tobacco, or alcohol, or weed, or heroin, or sudafed, or birth control OTC (and hence not paid by insurance), or guns, or cars outside of what they approve of, or energy drinks, or a bottle of wine with a shot of espresso, or...

    damnit, raging.

  • sloopyinca||

    There is only Team State and Team Individual. The Dems and Repubs are the two wings of the former. Libertarians and Anarchists are the sole holdouts of the latter.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Or a buy a McDonald's happy meal, or live in "too big" of a house (unless your the right sort) or make some money in an unapproved fashion or choose not to associate with certain types of people or ....

  • ||

    Hey fuck you, Massachusetts should have the right to make its own laws, right dumbass?

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Cosmos are so cute when the try to be tuff gais.

  • Ted S.||

    Martha Coakley also believes Gerald Amirault is guilty.

    She's an evil monster.

  • Mainer2||

    She and Scott Harshbarger should burn in hell.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    It's really amazing the way the reality based community fell for all of that satanist's daycare bullshit.

  • Whahappan?||

    No she doesn't. She believes (correctly) that she can advance her career by fucking over innocent people.

  • Xenocles||

    Massachusetts, which only recently started selling any alcohol in grocery stores?

  • tarran||

    I don't know about that... all the supermarkets that have alcohol have them in separate sections that can be locked up while the rest of the store remains open.

    Sure, they aren't cutting off hands, but that's merely because they believe in jailing and fining people for breaking their superstitious rules rather than amputating bits of their bodies.

  • Xenocles||

    All I know is that when I visited my family at Christmas the Trader Joe's (Peabody/Danvers) was fully stocked - beer, wine, and liquor. During our visit four months ago it was bone dry. Growing up you could only get a six pack at the packie unless you were near the NH border.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Yes, freedom-loving Massachusetts which outlawed Happy Hour in 1984.

  • sloopyinca||

    Hell, California is more free than Massholia. Proven by the fact that I am going to have to head to Walgreens in a bit to buy a bottle of whiskey.

  • VG Zaytsev||

    Massholes (and Naw Yawkahs) were the immigrants that started fucking up CA in the 70s-80s.

  • Agile Cyborg||

    Yes, but I betcha that whiskey is only 15-17% liquor.

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    Fuck Mormons who moralize and other busybody dipshits. And fuck the whole shitty state of Utah.

  • Xenocles||

    Stupid ref. Get out of the way.

  • sloopyinca||

    I wonder how he missed the holding that sprung the hole.

  • sloopyinca||

    Brady with an attempted cheap-shot foot-extended move.

    I hate him so much.

  • Xenocles||

    It doesn't look good but I bet that's riskier for the slider than the guy he hits.

  • Generic Stranger||

    Saw that. How the fuck did he not get called on it? I figure that's good for a personal foul.

  • sloopyinca||

    Because he's the face of the NFL. Guarantee you if Flacco does that shit to a Patriots LB and the flag is flying.

  • tarran||

    I don't know about that... the officials are very protective of the quarterbacks.

  • sloopyinca||

    Don't harsh my hate-buzz, man.

  • ||

    Harbaugh was pissed about the non-call. He let the ref know about it too.

  • sloopyinca||

    Which means they'll call Flacco for the next borderline thing he does.

  • Xenocles||

    I don't get why you watch it if you're so convinced it's fixed.

  • sloopyinca||

    I just want to say I saw it live when Brady got his knee put on backwards.

    That and gambling.

  • sloopyinca||

    And I don't think it's fixed. I'm just a crotchety asshole that doesn't want to see the Patriots or 49ers win the Super Bowl.

  • Xenocles||

    I was reaching back to previous weekends where you complained about the scheduling to that end.

  • sloopyinca||

    And if you'll notice, it was usually complaining about how the Patriots get all the breaks.

    I don't think it's fixed. I just think there's a league-wide conspiracy to make sure the Patriots have the greatest chance at success within the rules. And I think it's because Tom Brady went to Michigan and the league hates Ohio State even though they have among the highest three or four schools worth of alumnae in the league. And because Michigan is full of shit. And smells like shit. And is full of poopy-heads.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    That explains why Troy Smith, Mike Adams, and Ted Ginn suck. It's a conspiracy.

  • sloopyinca||

    I could cherry-pick three names from any school, Tulpa. And one of those guys has been in the league for one season, so it's a bit early to make that judgement. Ginn has become a pretty solid returner and may end up with a Super Bowl ring.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    I bet you can't think of three sucky NFL players from Buffalo State.

  • sloopyinca||

    http://espn.go.com/nfl/college/_/letter/b

    Buffalo
    PLAYER TEAM POSITION
    Jamey Richard New England Patriots Offensive Guard
    Trevor Scott New England Patriots Linebacker
    James Starks Green Bay Packers Running Back
    Josh Thomas Carolina Panthers Cornerback

    Is this the school you're talking about?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Starks is a beast.

  • Xenocles||

    You could at least pick an FBS school. Take Navy. That wasn't so hard, was it?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    I did a postdoc there.

  • Xenocles||

    At the Academy? What in?

    But at any rate, I can only name three guys off the top of my head who even saw snaps in the NFL. One is my classmate Kyle Eckel, who got cut. The other two are Roger Staubach and Joe Bellino.

  • sloopyinca||

    You went to Navy? What year? (My sister's high school boyfriend was '91 and played football).

  • Xenocles||

    2005.

  • sloopyinca||

    Hey, the head of our daughter's surgical team was there then, I think. Dr. David Allshouse is his name and I think he was working there then just before he got out.

  • Xenocles||

    I don't remember him, but we did name a doctor as one of our honorary grads - he was later busted inviting mids to his house and secretly videotaping them having sex (with each other).

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Buff State, not Navy.

  • Gray Ghost||

    After Staubach of course, Napoleon McCallum was the guy I thought of from Annapolis, if only for the insanely gruesome way he went out of the NFL.

    I remember watching the game when it happened. Still the most horrific football injury I've ever seen. It beats both McGahee's and Theisman's for me.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    McGahee's injury wasn't bad. In fact, I kind of like watching it every once in a while.

  • BelowTheRim||

    Ryan Pickett, AJ Hawk, Antoine Winfield.

  • Xenocles||

    I can't say I'm a fan of either school.

    Also I think alumnae is the feminine plural.

  • General Butt Naked||

    You sound like a crazy person, sloop.

    I think you want to celebrate mediocrity, and construct this conspiracy theory to allow you to do just that. You hate the good players.

  • sloopyinca||

    Nah. I'm just trying to entertain myself because I don't have a rooting interest in this game. I don't really wish ill on anyone. I just want to see a good game. And this is a pretty good game.

  • General Butt Naked||

    I was just fucking with you. I'm watching the pens deconstruct the rangers right now, and felt like trollin' a bit on some fool's ball whiners. You, unfortunately didn't bite, though.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Right on. I'll take Darrelle Revis, LeSean McCoy, and Larry Fitzgerald over anything OSU's got. Even our former punter is pwning the league.

  • sloopyinca||

    Are you gonna add that to all their high-profile wins while at Pitt. Wins like...nevermind.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    Well, they played Oregon State tough in the Sun Bowl in 2008.

  • RBS||

    Why don't you tell us about Larry Fitzgerald's last college game?

  • sloopyinca||

    **spit take**

    They lost 3-0. Both teams should ask to vacate that from their records.

  • Ted S.||

    When New England beat Indianapolis in the 2004 AFC Championship Game, Peyton Manning bitched and bitched and bitched about the Patriots' DBs. Since his GM was on the rules committee, he was able to get the rule changed into the even more offensive-minded pass-fest that the league is.

    Yeah, I hate Peyton Manning.

  • sloopyinca||

    Yeah, I hate Peyton Manning.

    Low hanging fruit, man. You might as well say you hate skinheads, who are the non-sports equivalent of Peyton.

  • Sevo||

    Yeah, well, the Raiders ain't gonna do it for ya.

  • Xenocles||

    I also saw it live when Pollard turned Brady into a flamingo. I imagine we had different reactions.

  • sloopyinca||

    That's pretty likely.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Tom Brady is the David Gregory of the NFL.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    OK, why does every CBS station have such shitty reception. I can only hear every other word of what Phil Simms is saying

  • sloopyinca||

    I can only hear every other word of what Phil Simms is saying

    Why the fuck would you complain about that?

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    I might miss out on some words of wisdom. Like the fact that a drive resulting in a touchdown constitutes "a good drive".

  • Mickey Rat||

    You can still hear every other word Phil Simms is saying. Though that might be more coherent then the full content of what Simms is saying.

    What terrible hold on some CBS exec does he have that made him the network's # 1 NFL color commentator?

  • Death Rock and Skull||

    Undercover stings... In the state where I currently reside, the cops have schools hand pick the best little saintly angels to sting liquor stores, bars, and restaurants for underage sales. They always use a legitimate state identification card or driver's license that says they are under 21.

    I displayed too much dissent in school to ever have been selected for anything like that, but I would have gladly accepted the opportunity to do clerks a solid by warning them not to supply me with libations because the cops are waiting to bust your ass outside.

  • sloopyinca||

    And who names their team after an entire region? What a bunch of assholes.

    It's not the Southeast Falcons. Or the Midwest Bears. Or even the West Coast 49ers. Who do those Massholes think they are? Motherfuckers.

  • Sevo||

    Remember when the boys of cow were called 'America's team'?

  • RBS||

    Carolina Panthers...

  • Ted S.||

    The Tampon Bay Buccaneers are named after a body of water.

  • sloopyinca||

    Quit ruining my hate. Both of you.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    At least they actually play in the place they're named for.

  • Virginian||

    Because the six New England states are really like one actual state. OK Maine is a state. But the other five squashed together would make one normal sized state.

  • sloopyinca||

    Ray Rice goes Super Tecmo Bowl on that play.

  • Julio Cesar Samper Uribe||

    And just to ruin your NFL Sunday, I give you Kruggy:

    http://nyti.ms/11JsDnz

  • Sevo||

    Dunno.
    Amazingly, he agrees with Freidman and rejects the lefty view that inequality qua inequality is a cause of slow growth.
    The guy actually sounds reasonable!

  • Ted S.||

    I won't read it!

  • sloopyinca||

    Holy fuck. Not looking too got for the Patriots after that play.

    Brother vs brother in the Super Bowl?

  • sloopyinca||

    Hey dumbass, don't lower your head and go helmet-to-helmet with a bigger guy when you're running with the ball. Bad things happen.

    That's gotta be challenged, though. I think he was down.

  • Xenocles||

    Turnovers get reviewed now.

  • sloopyinca||

    That's right. I forgot. They confirmed the fumble, and it was out just before his butt hit. Stupid move lowering his head.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    In Massholechusetts, they do.

  • Sevo||

    Not all of them.

  • Xenocles||

  • sloopyinca||

    Why would they review this?

  • Xenocles||

    Nobody likes a pedant.

  • sloopyinca||

    Sometimes it's the only way I'm right, and I'll take what I can get.

  • Sevo||

    Well, the "review" seems to have been 'looks good to me!'

  • sloopyinca||

    Flacco is like a homeless man's Eli Manning.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Warty should be here shitting all over this game.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    TD Ravens!

  • sloopyinca||

    BREAKING NEWS: The NFL league office just released a rule change where all TD's with less than 11:00 in the 4th quarter of playoff games count for double points, starting...now!

  • Anonymous Coward||

    WTF? Is the Hunger Games all of a sudden?

  • sloopyinca||

    In 4 down territory, they seriously should have considered running for it on 3rd down.

  • Xenocles||

    Or on 4th down. No idea whom he was throwing to.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    and the fans are making for the exits. gotta get rested for that 11AM Jets@Bruins game.

  • sloopyinca||

    Are the New England Bruins any good this year?

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    no good hockey is played at 11am

  • sloopyinca||

    Nantz makes the smartest comment from the booth all day. Why the fuck did they throw on 2nd and 3rd down?

  • Sevo||

    That was a PUNT?

  • sloopyinca||

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Ray Lewis had an alibi, right?

  • sloopyinca||

    Game. Over.

  • A Serious Man||

    Game over man game over.

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Praise FSM! Another interception!

    Oh look! Tom Brady's got a sadface.

  • waaminn||

    Soudns like a pretty crazy plan to me dude. Wow.

    www.AnoTimes.tk

  • Specail Sauce||

    Oh shit, Brady looks like he has tears in his eyes. They no doubt are delicious.

  • A Serious Man||

    There are worse things in the world than going home and having consolation sex with Giselle Bundchen.

  • Specail Sauce||

    You really know how to kill a hate boner.

  • sloopyinca||

    What if she's into pegging?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    That's the worst part of losing. When Tom Brady loses a game, Gisele makes him be the woman.

  • Xenocles||

    Pitchers and catchers report in three weeks.

  • sloopyinca||

    Sox fan? Are they actually gonna gel in the clubhouse this year? They've got a team to beat the Yanquis this year.

  • A Serious Man||

    I'm predicting that three playoff teams come out of the AL East: Jays, Yanks, and O's. I'm not sold on Boston yet no matter how they look on paper.

  • sloopyinca||

    With a weighted schedule? Are you crazy, man?

  • Xenocles||

    Yeah, it's hard to have that many come out of a single division with all the fratricide that will be necessary for them to maintain good enough records.

  • A Serious Man||

    Oh yeah? Well two brothers are about to coach against each other in the Super Bowl. So anything is possible.

  • Xenocles||

    I need to catch up again; after last year's Super Bowl I didn't have it in me to follow baseball with their awful start. They never should have fired Francona. I hope they have some sort of moneyball thing going on, but as far as I can tell it's half no-names.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    Are we ready for the Harbaugh bowl?

  • Specail Sauce||

    Paging Barfman!

  • A Serious Man||

    Baseball season is nigh and that's all that matters. Can't wait to see the renovated Dodger Stadium.

  • sloopyinca||

    It's certainly gonna be an upgrade. Maybe we need to plan a Reason day for all of the SoCal commentariat and the staff. And you being a serious man I know I can count you in.

  • Archduke Pantsfan||

    run that by me again?

  • sloopyinca||

    I want to put together a Reason commentariat day this spring at Dodgers Stadium. All the out of towners like me, can stay in Hollywood and get drunk at the Power House.

  • sloopyinca||

    Oh, I get it now. Fucking squirrels.

  • sloopyinca||

    It's certainly gonna be an upgrade. Maybe we need to plan a Reason day for all of the SoCal commentariat and the staff. And you being a serious man, I know I can count you in.

  • A Serious Man||

    Hell yeah. First baseball season I'll be old enough to buy overpriced beer at the stadium.

  • Sevo||

    "overpriced beer at the stadium."
    That *ain't* beer.

  • ||

    Deep-dish at the stadium?

  • Sevo||

    Boy, that's gotta piss off the marketing team!
    OK, you got northern CA and the, where? North Carolina? WIH is North Carolina? Do they have cable there?
    Who we gonna sell ads to?

  • Sevo||

    So does model wife tell him to buzz off after three INTs?

  • sloopyinca||

    See: pegging.

  • Tulpa (LAOL-PA)||

    She shouldn't count batted balls.

  • sloopyinca||

    Saturday, April 6 looks like a great day for a baseball game at Dodger Stadium. The first weekend of the season and no stabby fans because they're playing the Giants.

    Who's with me?

  • prolefeed||

    I'm guessing the easiest way around the Utah liquor before ordering food ban is to list "first serving of bread" at the top of the menu for one cent, and automatically put the bread down with the liquor menu.

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