TSA Shelves Body Scanners

The Transportantion Security Administration doesn't know how to not take a naked picture of you with its body scanners. So it's going to put 91 of them in storage, at least for now. 

Via USA Today:

The Transportation Security Administration has put 91 of its full-body scanning machines worth $14 million in storage because of privacy concerns, officials told a House hearing Thursday.

The machines, so-called backscatter machines that use X-rays to scan passengers, produce near-naked images of travelers. The TSA said that software that was supposed to replace the near-naked image on the machine with a stick figure was flawed and couldn't be used to ease privacy concerns.

The privacy concerns should be enough to ditch these machines. But if not, there's also the nagging problem that they don't work. Security researchers have found that some of the machines can't detect potentially lethal high-explosives as long as they're shaped like pancakes

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  • Brutus||

    Is there a single reason left for keeping th TSA in existence? Even one?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yes, in our current economy, TSA employees would be unable to get employment and would turn on us. Given their training, well beyond that of Special Forces, each one is capable of killing hundreds before we'd even notice.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Don't TSA employees have a preset kill limit?

  • ||

    Yeah, but it's eight billion.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Alright, I've got a brilliant plan. First, we snusnu with the hot women. Then, 9 months from now, we send wave after wave of our own men and babies at them, until they reach their limit and shut down.

  • ||

    DON'T MIX THE ZAPP BRANNIGAN QUOTES

  • Auric Demonocles||

    But they go together so well. Like champagne and velour.

  • Almanian.||

    THAT'S CRAZY!

    So crazy this it...might just work...

  • MJGreen||

    In the game of quotes, if you hit that bullseye, the rest of the dominoes should fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

  • Ayn Random Variation||

    Has any gov't agency ever been eliminated?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Yes, the Department of Limited Government.

  • ||

    A couple of years ago in Texas we voted to abolish office of inspector of hides and animals

  • Brutus||

    SOMALIA!!!!

  • NoVAHockey||

    Are these the plastic-tube looking things?

  • Almanian.||

    No, that's the internet.

  • B.P.||

    I was in LAX last week, and a guy was so drunk at the TSA checkpoint that he fell through to the other side of the scanner. TSA propped him back up inside the scanner, and then let him clumsily gather his things, while one agent did a mimicking routine of the drunk guy. And then he was on his way. I guess it's the airlines' problem to police can't-hardly-stand-up drunks.

  • Tim||

    The Senator could not be reached for comment.

  • Ayn Random Variation||

    I hope they didn't shoot that seeing eye dog.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Dammit, I was counting on these scanners to find my cancer, as Obamacare will make getting an MRI impossible for all but the connected.

  • ||

    Too bad, I am looking into getting them shipped to UKR, as there is a need for better screening and radiology technology.

    Snooze, ya lose. -)

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    In Ukraine, radiation strong like bull.

  • NeonCat||

    Seriously, can't you just figure out the direction Chornobyl is in and just hold the film behind them?

  • Tim||

    A lot of people think that the surgery machine in Prometheus was just so much sensationalism but no, in the future you load yourself into a vending machine and perform surgery on yourself.

  • Doctor Whom||

    It's intrusive, and it doesn't work? I'm afraid I don't see the problem. [/statist]

  • Loki||

    It's not a problem so long as the sheeple FEEL safer. Remember, it's all about FEELINGS, not results.

  • Geoff Nathan||

    Not widely known, but there's now a way to avoid those scanner-thingies, if you're willing to become a 'trusted traveler'. I did that (it was a result of getting a Nexus pass to cross the bridge to Windsor to visit my folks), and, although I have 'given up some privacy', it sure makes getting to the plane easier. Keep shoes on, don't open briefcase (even if it has a laptop in it), don't empty pockets. I guess it's a privacy trade-off in the end. I hate the whole procedure, but it sure makes flying less unpleasant.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Does this involve falling asleep near a giant pod?

  • Geoff Nathan||

    Not sure I get the reference. Do you wake up twenty years later and we're all traveling naked?

  • Pro Libertate||

    This.

  • Mike Laursen||

    Also, you can avoid the scanners by traveling with small children. I've been on several airplane flights, but have yet to go through a scanner, because I've always been with my kids.

  • R C Dean||

    So, scanners aren't for teh childrun?

    I'm so confused.

  • nicole just can't even!||

    Holy shit, good news?!? I don't even know what to do.

  • Almanian.||

    Go post it on Twitter?

  • nicole just can't even!||

    So done.

  • Tim||

    How many classified fuck ups did it take to lead them to throw in the towel?

  • Restoras||

    Attention Hit & Run writers and staff: That. That right there. That is how you do brilliant alt+text!

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Suderman has come a long long way.

  • Restoras||

    I wonder what Megan thinks of his brilliant alt+texting? Proud? Jealous? Indifferent? Tolerant?

  • Citizen Nothing||

    Fraud involved in Rapey Scanner tests?

  • Citizen Nothing||

    The company “may have attempted to defraud the government by knowingly manipulating an operational test,” Representative Mike Rogers, chairman of the House Transportation Security Subcommittee, said in a letter to Transportation Security Administration chief John Pistole Nov. 13. Rogers said his committee received a tip about the faked tests.

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