Dave Eggers' "90 Days, 90 Reasons" Is the Single Most Dishonest Pro-Obama Website of the Campaign Season

Seven days ago, author David Eggers announced the creation of a website dedicated to reelecting President Obama. The website is called "90 Days, 90 Reasons," and its goal is to provide 90 "daily reasons—concrete, factual, plain—to re-elect Barack Obama...[and] likely outcomes of a Romney presidency." I wanted to wait a while before declaring this project the most pretentious piece of Team Blue propaganda of the campaign season, but after today's entry by Oscar-nominated actor Jesse Eisenberg, I'm calling the fight.  

Eisenberg's entry is titled "PRESIDENT OBAMA UNDERSTANDS THE WORLD WRIT LARGE," and it goes like this:

I'm traveling through Mongolia and currently staying in a yurt. This was not by choice; I'm with persuasive friends. If it were up to me I'd never leave my apartment and, more specifically, the bedroom area. But my comforts have given me a nagging sense of discomfort. I think traveling and seeing how other people live, even if I’m not totally immersing myself, assuages some of my unease because it re-sensitizes me to the difficulties and existential inconveniences that most other people face. In this way, I think Barack Obama is a good leader for our diverse country because he's seen how the world lives. It doesn't take a lot to realize that seeing the world forces you to interact with it in a different way and I know that I feel more comfortable being represented by someone who's seen it.

That's it. That's Eisenberg's case that Obama understands foreign policy. He's in a yurt with wifi and Obama has visited a lot of foreign countries.

Dave Eggers, who published this turd of a paragraph, should know better. Apparently, he does not. In his introduction of 90 Days, 90 Reasons at the vaunted web magazine McSweeney's, Eggers wrote

Republican leadership is not better for the economy than Democratic leadership. Bill Clinton brought the country eight years of peace and eight years of prosperity. George W. Bush brought two wars, crippling recession, and engendered a tangible, unshakeable feeling of national malaise. Two wars and a recession will do it every time.

President Obama inherited all this. And he’s done a very good job of trying to get us out of the hole Republican leadership put us in. The economy is in better shape now than it was in 2008—that is beyond debate. He ended the war in Iraq and he’s nearly finished our role in Afghanistan. And he accomplished what Bush’s two wars were meant to do: he removed the threat of Osama bin Laden.

A few minor corrections: Actually, Clinton did embroil us in international conflict, in a little country called Bosnia. Clinton claimed that if the U.S. did not intervene, the Bosnian War would destabilize all of Europe, which would hurt the U.S. If that argument sounds familiar, it's because Obama used it to impose a no-fly zone over Libya, which--thanks to our help--is now mired in tribal anarchy just elected its first interim president, one week after armed men attacked a Red Cross outpost for the fifth time in three months. Furthermore, Bush did not invade Iraq to kill bin Laden, but rather to find nonexistent weapons of mass destruction. This does not excuse the war, which was a terrible, terrible idea made possible by the Democratic Party and The New York Times, but facts do matter. 

As for all that jazz about Obama ending all the warzzzz? Here's FireDogLake on the "end" of the Iraq War in December 2011:

The NYT, which played a key propaganda role in getting us into the Iraq war, has a 1000-word article telling us the Iraq war has officially been declared over.

And while it is true that the Administration had a campaign event dog and pony show yesterday declaring the war over, it is not.

After all, Rand Paul tried to formally, legally end the Iraq war last month. And 67 Senators refused to do so.

Credulous journalists may want to accept the Administration’s propaganda about the Iraq war ending. But until we take the expanded powers given to the President pursuant to a vile propaganda campaign away from him, the Iraq war is not over. And Obama should not be able to use it as a campaign line until he actually gives up those powers.

Obama still has troops and U.S. military contractors in Iraq, and plans to have them in Afghanistan--in some form or another--indefinitely. He is flying predator drones over Yemen, Pakistan, and Afghanistan, and he is using them to kill teenagers with brown skin, under the auspices that any Muslim male old enough to grow pubic hair is old enough to die for the uncommitted future sins of men with similar religious convictions. He has murdered American citizens without giving them the increasingly quaint benefit of due process (negative rights are atavistic, don't you know). He has shipped weapons to the Bahraini government, so that it may murder more of its people. His DEA agents have killed pregnant women in Honduras, and violated the rights of innocent men and women right here at home. Also? Obama is open to the idea of bombing Iran. It hasn't happened yet, but it could.  

Eisenberg's foray into this Team Blue circle jerk is excusable; his job, after all, is pretending to be people who know things, not actually knowing the things those people supposedly know. Dave Eggers, on the other hand, is a writer and a public intellectual. Maybe he should know these things, I think? 

For more blood-boiling tribalism from 90 Days, 90 Reasons, see "Obama teaches us to believe hope can lead to real change" and "President Obama faced down the GOP and the health industry to finally reform American healthcare." Yes, the "health industry." 

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  • ||

    VOTE OBAMA, right, John?

  • ||

    John will just ignore this. He's denser than a neutron star. But hey, he's got unlimited taxpayer-funded goldbricking time to whine endlessly about reason picking on TEAM RED!

  • Dylan||

    You're saying John is a black hole? Racist!!!!!

  • ||

    Wow, you weren't kidding. Not a single comment on this post.

  • ||

    John is nothing if not utterly predictable.

  • John||

    I am not ignoring it. Of course obama is bad and his supporters liars. But it appears Romney might be worse.

  • ||

    Like I said, utterly predictable.

  • The Hammer||

    John, you forgot to call anyone MNG. You're off your game today.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Look, John. Even if Romney IS worse, the tears of hipster douches NEVER gets old.

  • Brett L||

    I've always found Eggers unreadable. Hearkening back to an AM Links discussion, mentioning this probably hurt my chances with several women. Then again, they liked Eggers' writing.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    Those women weren't worth your time. Boot up the porn and brink some booze.

  • RBS||

    Also video games.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    Make sure they are violent. I recommend Bulletstorm.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    No no no. You need desolation and individualism. You need Fallout. Bring on the bottle caps.

  • Randian||

    Also, fried chicken.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    And by "brink," I meant drink. Don't booze up and type on the interwebz folkz.

  • Killazontherun||

    To be honest, his name doesn't ring a bell. I'd have to google him to see what he has done.

  • ||

    A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is the only one I know of. I own a copy that my liberal ex-gf left behind. Never read it though.

  • thom||

    That book is amazing from around page 50 until about page 200. Unfortunately, it's much longer than that.

  • nicole||

    This is about right.

  • The Rantin Arkansan||

    I'm not the only one who wants to punch Eisenberg in the face every time he shows his face, right?

  • Lord Humungus||

    that line is long.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    NO CUTS

  • ||

    ANTI SEMITE

  • Auric Demonocles||

    I enjoyed Zombieland. Adventureland was OK. Although his other movies that don't end in -land seemed bad.

  • RBS||

    Zombieland was good for two reasons: Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray. And Emma Stone.

  • Caleb Turberville||

    It was okay. But I sure hope it's the last zombie movie for at least a decade.

  • The Hammer||

    I may have a different definition of "two" than you, RBS.

  • RBS||

    What can I say, I grew up in South Carolina.

  • Joe R.||

    1) Woody Harrelson and Bill Murray

    2) Emma Stone

  • ||

    Zombieland was good for three reasons, Woody Harrelson, Bill Murray, and Emma Stone! And the humor! Zombieland was good for four reasons...I'll come in again.

  • ||

    NOT THE COMFY THEATER SEAT!

  • ||

    I actually saw Zombieland at The Big Picture, in a comfy theater seat, drinking martinis with blue cheese stuffed olives in them. Good times.

  • ||

    Just when I thought you couldn't get any gayer. What were they, pomegranatinis?

  • ||

    As the gayest monster since gay came to Gaytown, yes. But at least they were gin pomegranitinis.

  • ||

    I watched it while eating a deep dish PIZZA.

  • Entropy Void||

    Who are you?

    Count Floyd?

  • JennyL||

    Most likely that all of them are democrates. Emma Stone had been the guest of Obamas, Bill Murray donates mainly to Democrate party, and Woody Harrelson is a pure democrate. His quote "Republican Talk Makes me weep for Humanity" for HuffingtonPost article.

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....39388.html

  • Hugh Akston||

    Excellent rant, Riggs.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Second.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    This was not by choice; I'm with persuasive friends.

    I'm not sure he knows that the word choice means.

    Anyway, by this guy's logic, Obama's brother who is living in a shanty town would be an even better president. OBAMA'S BROTHER WHAT'S HIS FACE FOR PRESIDENT 2012!

  • RBS||

    He sounds like all the people I went to school with that studis abroad for a semester.

  • RBS||

    *studied.

  • Atlas Stoned||

    After studying abroad in a yurt this past summer I totally like believe in causes and shit. Obama'12

  • Killazontherun||

    You learn so much from hanging around superstitious, ignorant people out in the bumfuckdocks*, why would you even bother with college?

    * Unless they live in America's Appalachia's, Ozarks, or South West, and then it is all bitter clinger ignorance rubbing off on you.

  • The Rantin Arkansan||

    I wonder if Obama will see the irony of his statement when the bitter/clingers like me survive our ever approaching economic apocalypse because we're pissed and aren't afraid to shoot the droves of people who will be coming for our stuff because we had the foresight to prepare?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Don't be silly. He's not ready yet. He doesn't even have 2 years in the Senate yet! He's being groomed for 2016.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Eisenberg's original entry was just as logical, but was titled "PRESIDENT OBAMA UNDERSTANDS THE WORLD WITH ZOMBIES," and it went like this:

    I'm traveling through Zombieland and currently staying in a Fedex truck. This was not by choice; I've got persuasive enemies. If it were up to me I'd never leave my apartment and, more specifically, the computer area. But the zombies have given me a nagging sense of discomfort. I think traveling and seeing how other people live, even if I’m not fighting zombies myself, assuages some of my unease because it re-sensitizes me to the difficulties and existential inconveniences that most other people face. In this way, I think Barack Obama is a good leader for our diverse country because he's seen how the zombies fight. It doesn't take a lot to realize that seeing the zombies forces you to interact with them in a different way and I know that I feel more comfortable being represented by someone who's seen them.
  • Delroy||

    This reminds of the movie "Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies" that I watched a few days ago on streaming Netflix. Not bad for a direct-to-video movie, although I was able to predict the ending.

  • Loki||

    although I was able to predict the ending.

    Zombie John Wilkes Booth?

  • Bee Tagger||

    The economy is in better shape now than it was in 2008—that is beyond debate.

    He got one thing right: this issue is certainly not worth debating if that's what he thinks is true.

  • stoneymonster||

    Sounds like reason should do a "90 days of Reason" with short rebuttals to this garbage.

  • RBS||

    Only if they let commentators do the rebutting.

  • Caleb Turberville||

    Jesse Eisenberg? You mean Michael Cera, right?

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Not quite, he's the Hydrox to Cera's Oreo.

  • ||

    How dare you insult the awesomeness of Hydrox by comparing it to not only Oreo, but that fuck Eisenberg!

  • RBS||

    awesomeness of Hydrox by comparing it to not only Oreo

    Says the woman who hates hipsters.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    You know, I'd never even heard of Hydrox before a H*squirrel*R post a few months ago. Maybe it was KK...

  • ||

    Unfortunately, they can't be had anymore. And if you see them in a store, they're a new version made by (I think) Sunshine, and they in no way resemble the original.

  • ||

    My enjoyment of the now-defunct Hydrox is in no way ironic, as it would be for some dirty hipster!

  • RBS||

    Hahaha. They are defunct because Oreos are clearly superior.

  • Entropy Void||

    Hydrox gets the Darwin Award.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    No, you just liked them before they were cool.

  • ||

    They were never cool - they just tasted better

  • triclops||

    Hydrox tasted better than Oreo dunked in milk, Oreo was better than Hydrox straight out of the package. This is not debatable.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Oreo is the knockoff.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    If you mean because Hydrox is older, take note of the fact that Eisenberg is 5 years older than Cera.

  • Invisible Finger||

    No, I'm just taking note of lame metaphors.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Love or hate McSweeney's, but they've done irony inside and out. How does something with that title, with the intent to be taken seriously, without a single microscopic wink, make it on to McSweeney's?

    Election years sure can suck.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    In voto veritas.

  • fried wylie||

    .[and] likely outcomes of a Romney presidency.

    Nothing but the facts, ma'am.

    Now, of course, this should tell people all they need to know about the factualicity of anything posted there, but sadly people are too fucking stupid to see when someone is blatantly lying RIGHT TO THEIR FUCKING FACE, IN PLAIN ENGLISH.

  • ||

    Team Obama is willing to accuse Romney of killing a steel worker's wife, they have no shame and no conscience.

  • RBS||

    Over the weekend he was also accused of personally ruining some woman's house in Georgetown, SC because Bain owned the steel mill.

  • Jesse Walker||

    The case for Obama: He put Jesse Eisenberg in a yurt.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Not good enough. I require a president that will put Eisenberg in a world of yurt.

  • Bee Tagger||

    Others may hate you for your puns, but I think this deserves a hearty pat on the back.

  • ||

    No, you should still hate him for the puns.

    Professor Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?

    Glurmo: Why, those are the Auric Demonocles. They work here in the pun factory.

    Professor Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Episiarch: So, you want to be a comedian, is it?
    Auric Demonocles: It's my life long dream.
    Episiarch: Well, that dream dies now! You're unfunny and untalented. That's why you're perfect for drama.

  • ||

    Auric: Everyone walked out. They hated it. I've seen plagues that had better opening nights than this. You said that Oscar was practically on my mantle.

    Episiarch: Now you know why I used the qualifier "practically".

  • Auric Demonocles||

    Episiarch: But I hate him!
    Pro LaBarbara: We all do! But credit where credit's due!

  • ||

    It's compelling, I'll give you that.

  • ||

    The yurt is also cursed.

  • fried wylie||

    But it comes with your choice of toppings. (the toppings contain sodium benzoate...)

  • RBS||

    *looks confused*

  • fried wylie||

    cursed frozen yogurt. monkey paw. "d'oh".

    if those aren't enough hints...

  • RBS||

    I know, if it wasn't such a pain in the ass to use joke handles I would have been Homer Simpson.

  • fried wylie||

    d'oh

  • Mike M.||

    I'll bet that if I had gone to Harvard or Yale there's a better chance I would have known what a yurt is without having had to look it up on dictionary.com.

  • Drax the Destroyer||

    Is knowing what a yurt is off the top of your head worth being hundreds of thousands in debt for a Literature degree?

  • Killazontherun||

    It's something to do with poor people wearing things. Could be clothing like, or it could be simulation jewelry. I would actually have to focus my gaze on some poor person wearing a yurt to find out, and he might smile at me with his gappy mouth, and it is frankly not worth it.

  • Killazontherun||

    I'm traveling through Mongolia and currently staying in a yurt.

    Referring to the things you wear as if they were the home you sleep in, now that's poverty.

  • Joe R.||

    You should have played The Elder Scrolls games.

  • Atlas Stoned||

    "President Obama inherited all this."

    Bush's Fault™

  • ||

    Poor President Obama, why if he gets reelected just look at the mess he will inherit!

  • Atlas Stoned||

    It will still be Bush's Fault™ when he runs again in 2016!

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    President Obama inherited all this.

    He fucking campaigned voters for it.

  • Michael||

    And yet none of this would ever have happened if everybody paid their Fair Share(tm) in inheritance taxes.

  • Old Mexican||

    But my comforts have given me a nagging sense of discomfort. I think traveling and seeing how other people live, even if I’m not totally immersing myself, assuages some of my unease because it re-sensitizes me to the difficulties and existential inconveniences that most other people face. In this way, [??? sic ???] I think Barack Obama is a good leader for our diverse country because he's seen how the world lives.

    "And wants all of us to stop having a nagging sense of discomfort out of our comforts by taking away all of our comforts, one comfort at a time!"

    By the way, I love how he sets the premises of his own discomfort to then conclude that Obama is a great leader, also showing his total lack of writing skills. It reminded me of the efforts by the North Korean propaganda machine to sell people the benefits of eating grass. What a total waste of skin is this guy.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    It's the natural extension of victimhood as a moral qualification, and just as stupid.

    Not to say that seeing the world doesn't open your eyes somewhat, but without proper introspection and philosophy, it just makes you a well-traveled moron.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    But my comforts have given me a nagging sense of discomfort. I think traveling and seeing how other people live, even if I’m not totally immersing myself, assuages some of my unease because it re-sensitizes me to the difficulties and existential inconveniences that most other people face.

    So, Jesse, is your navel an innie or outie?

  • ||

    I'm traveling through Mongolia and currently staying in a yurt. This was not by choice; I'm with persuasive friends.

    Right there, he lost all credibility for me.

  • fried wylie||

    "If your friends jumped off a yurt, would you too?"

    Clearly his parents failed him.

  • Loki||

    Clearly his parents genetics failed him.

    FIFY. Clearly Jesse Eisenberg has an extra chromosome or two. It's amazing he functions as well as he does.

  • JennyL||

    You never have any persuasive friends or something?

  • ||

    I will purposefully contract incurable STDs in order to pass them along to David Eggers.

  • ||

    Contract? Like you don't already have Super-AIDS, you fucking skank.

  • ||

    You mean besides the crabs, gonorrhea, and syphilis you already have? Maybe you should go for herpes too.

  • fried wylie||

    He considered herpes, but it would negatively affect the crabs.

  • ||

    Nothing can compete with his MEGA-AIDS.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    You fool. I present to you SUPER GONORRHEA

  • ||

    You leave my crabs out of this! They never did anything to you!

    Anyway, I wish John and RC Dean would stop by, to gloat about how right they are that Reason is nothing but an Obama-shilling democrat mouthpiece that only attacks Paul Ryan and spares Obama at every turn.

  • Auric Demonocles||

    How's the weather in Anderith, Campbell?

  • Old Mexican||

    Dave Eggers, on the other hand, is a writer and a public intellectual. Maybe he should know these things, I think?

    Sorry, Mike, but Dave is so submersed in the Team Blue's ink, that his brain can't breathe.

  • ||

    The economy is in better shape now than it was in 2008—that is beyond debate.

    "Beyond debate" apparently means "I'm too lazy to google my assumptions, but they must be right because thinking them makes me feel good":

    http://www.google.com/publicda.....yment+rate

  • Bee Tagger||

    One sure way to know something is up for debate is if someone says it isn't.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    All that means is that you can't argue the point with him because he's a dunce.

  • Joe R.||

  • stoneymonster||

    Hey, but the good news is there are 83 more of these! Time for some predictions of upcoming
    useful idiots.

  • ||

  • NebulousFocus||

    +100

  • ||

    But my comforts have given me a nagging sense of discomfort. I think traveling and seeing how other people live, even if I’m not totally immersing myself, assuages some of my unease because it re-sensitizes me to the difficulties and existential inconveniences that most other people face.

    Well look at it this way, Eisenberg just admitted straightup that white liberals vote for Obama out of white guilt.

  • fried wylie||

    I just love how actors have to visit the 3rd world to gain any understanding of their fellow man or his hardships.

    Because, like, working class Americans just aren't REAL enough. Bunch of hardship-posers. Only the trials and tribulations of The Noble Savage can teach the true meaning of life's struggle.

  • ||

    Most working class Americans want to become upper class Americans, so they are already compromised by false consciousness.

  • Atlas Stoned||

    To be fair a blue-collar factory worker working in the U.S probably has less hardship than say a Haitian goat herder. Regardless, most actors like Eisenberg use their 3rd world experiences to justify their fucked-up political beliefs.

  • fried wylie||

    To be fair a blue-collar factory worker working in the U.S probably has less hardship than say a Haitian goat herder.

    It's about quality, not quantity.

  • Invisible Finger||

    One could still stay in a vacant in Detroit for a week. But that doesn't waste as much money. Obama knows wasting money.

  • JennyL||

    Let me guess, you never been to a third world country. Do you know what it feels like to actually live in countries like Cambodia, Haiti, or Myanmar? People in Detroit still live a lot better than people who live in those countries.

  • Caleb Turberville||

    Is he sure that his "existential inconveniences" don't stem from the fact that his Fox sitcom last only one season compared to Michael Cera's three seasons.

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    Well look at it this way, Eisenberg just admitted straightup that white liberals vote for Obama out of white guilt.

    Eisenberg's Jewish, so the guilt is probably Oedipally-induced.

  • Broseph of Invention||

    Here's what I don't get: how can an inconvenience be "existential"? If something is existential, then it's much more than an inconvenience. Perhaps it's like "Your baby died from diarrhea? Tell me about it, the wi-fi in my yurt went out! That's so inconvenient! If it wasn't for internet, there'd be no Facebook, and my career wouldn't exist!"

  • Atlas Stoned||

    In this way, I think Barack Obama is a good leader for our diverse country because he's seen how the world lives."

    And not to mention, he lives in a tax-payer funded mansion. The majority of the world lives that way.

  • ||

    Criticize all you want, but I actually found Eisenberg's piece to be funnier and more engaging than pretty much anything I've ever read in McSweeney's.

  • Bee Tagger||

    If you read it as satirizing the noxious things a politician's supporters will say during an election year, then I suppose it's tremendous.

  • JennyL||

    Haha, cudos to you. I thought his piece is funny too.

  • Randian||

    Seriously a FUCKING YURT.

    You do not get more intolerably cliché than that.

  • stoneymonster||

    Drum circle.

  • Atlas Stoned||

    Kum bay ya, my Lord, kum bay ya.

  • Killazontherun||

    Because I was taught that song in third grade by a cute little girl who learned it in Jew scouts, I don't hate it as much as I should hate it.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    What is a Jew Scout? Is it like regular scouts except with more matzo balls and unleavened camp rations?

  • RBS||

  • Killazontherun||

    I don't remember much about it, other than the crazy Hebrew lettering on the cover of her activity book.

    Just looked her up to see what she is looking like these days. Not bad.

    http://m3.licdn.com/mpr/pub/im.....jessup.jpg

  • ||

    "In my professional opinion, we're looking at a full-blown hippie jamfest the size of which we've never seen."

  • ||

    Yurt circle.

    Ah, reminds me of playing Morrowind when I was dating a liberal college girl.

  • Killazontherun||

    Oh, yeah, the Ashlands. Those were Yurts. The only thing I hated about that game was the Goddamn 'chosen one' plot. Otherwise still one of my favorites.

  • ant1sthenes||

    Even that was kind of clever, since they played around for a good bit of the plot with the notion of whether it was a cynical attempt to manufacture a Messiah, or something actually foreordained (what with being an imperial puppet, and the failed incarnates and all). Also, the overt religiousness of the chosen one prophesy felt more authentic than the typical bland fantasy chosen one trope.

  • Killazontherun||

    One thing I liked was the fact some of the sorcerer-kings in the Eastern cities were older than the 'gods', and showed so little respect for them, one of the temples was put in a tiny cave that doubled as a shithole.

  • ||

    I think that may have been the last fantasy RPG I actually completed. My geek credentials are shot.

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    You, obviously, are not a lightworker. Your chakras needs balance.

  • Randian||

    This 90 days thing is going to be the replacement fuel we have needed since microaggressions packed up its bundle of bullshit and left town.

  • ||

    President Obama inherited all this. And he’s done a very good job of trying to get us out of the hole Republican leadership put us in.

    I am robot, beep beep, I read list of talking points.

  • R C Dean||

    I'm traveling through Mongolia and currently staying in a yurt. This was not by choice; I'm with persuasive friends.

    And, right there, my monthly quota for Pretentious Twat was exceeded.

  • Randian||

    I hope his persuasive friends are the spiritual heirs to Genghis Khan.

  • JennyL||

    Actually, Genghis Khan is more republican than democrate.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    "Obama teaches us to believe hope can lead to real change"

    Notice he says, "believe."

    Never wisen up a chump -W C Fields

  • Barfman||

    *barf*

  • Scruffy Nerfherder||

    Well timed

  • ||

    The Eisenberg 'turd of a paragraph' is what could rightly appear in the dictionary as a definition for the word 'brat'.
    What a waste of meat.

  • ||

    He's comfortable being represented by someone who is just as much a phony as he is.

  • ||

    This is one where, even though I linked to this vomitorium in the AM Links, I am glad to forego a hat tip.

  • nicole||

    You are a better woman than I, though Riggs did thank me on Twitter. I'll take it.

  • ||

    My head is thisclose to totally assplosion after reading that pretentious, uninformed, bubble-living, white man's burden utter BULLSHIT. Fuck.

  • JennyL||

    Sound like you take life way too seriously.

  • The Craig||

    "Dave Eggers' "90 Days, 90 Reasons" Is the Single Most Dishonest Pro-Obama Website of the Campaign Season"

    What about addictinginfo?

  • Atlas Stoned||

    Color me surprised, but his shit essay is consistent with his shit movie reviews.

    "Day 2 - Reason 2
    I had great health for most of my life. Then in my 60s, cancer pulled the rug out from under me. Five surgeries, four rehabilitations, you don't want to know. I was lucky to have good employment-based insurance. I maxed it out. Medicaid came to the rescue. Many people don't have any insurance at all, and many companies are laying off insured older workers and hiring younger ones who are not being offered a health plan.

    One important reason I will be voting for Obama is his health plan. "Obamacare" is a first step along the way to the kind of universal health care provided by all advanced countries, except for ours. In writing about this issue I have heard so many heartbreaking stories of lives lost, families destroyed, treatment deferred until it was too late.

    What bothers me about Romney is that he denies the success of his own "Romneycare" in Massachusetts. It was his signature program. Now it's as if he's never heard of it. We need health care in this country. I suspect many of those opposed to it have never had to go through a health ordeal like mine. They may think they are well off and can handle their own expenses. They have no idea."

    —ROGER EBERT
     Urbana, Illinois

  • Invisible Finger||

    Under ObamneyCare, Ebert would be dead by now.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Chucked in the scrawny-baby pit like at the beginning of 300.

  • Entropy Void||

    I would give that scenario five stars.

  • Invisible Finger||

    I also love how Ebert attributes his problems to cancer, completely ignoring his 20+ years of alcoholism.

  • Atlas Stoned||

    The free market it dared him to do it.

  • Skip||

    Thank God Ebert had good health insurance! Its not like he had enough money from a television show that aired for 20 years or wrote books every year about movies or something.

  • Lyle||

    Obama didn't visit a lot of foreign countries before he was President.

  • ||

    By Eisnberg's reasoning, any asshole that studied abroad in college should, like, totally be President. Even that Iranian chick on my study abroad that spent her spring break in NYC and brought back chunky peanut butter. CHUNKY. She is the world's greatest monster.

  • nicole||

    I think he may also have missed the part where Romney lived in France.

  • Loki||

    Ahh, but Obama grew up in Indonesia. That gives him much more "3rd world chic" street cred than Romney. France, afterall, is just Europe. And who hasn't been to Europe, like, several times? That's just so passe. /smug rich left-tard Hollywood douche (aka Jesse Eisenberg)

  • JennyL||

    Well, you technically do need to understand the foreign country that you are dealing with. There is nothing wrong with traveling and see the world. A president do need be open minded about other cultures. I think neither Romney nor Obama proved to be good at foreign policy. More against Obama on this than Romney.

  • ||

    "Well, you technically do need to understand the foreign country that you are dealing with. "
    ----------

    Duh, that is why we put cameras on the drones.

  • Loki||

    I think traveling and seeing how other people live, even if I’m not totally immersing myself, assuages some of my unease white guilt

    FIFY

    "President Obama faced down the GOP and the health industry to finally reform American healthcare."

    If that's what you want to call crossing out Newt Gingrich's name on his health care reform counter proprosal to Hillarycare from the early 90s Mitt Romney's name from his Mass. healthcare reform bill, and forcing 30 million people to become customers of the health insurance industry whether they want to or not...

  • JennyL||

    I really don't get your hate on people who likes to travel. That been said, I'm not a fan of Obama's healthcare either.

  • Michael||

    "I'm traveling through Mongolia and currently staying in a yurt."

    I'll bet this little prick made his security detail camp out in sleeping bags.

  • Loki||

    I'll bet this little prick is staying in a tourist hotel modeled after traditional yurts. He was, afterall, able to post this gem of a brain dripping on the internet. If he was in a real yurt I'm pretty sure he wouldn't have wifi.

  • JennyL||

    LOL, you guys are taking this way too seriously.

  • mulligan||

    You are writing for Reason and your refutations are not reasonable. You say Eisenberg fails to make his case that Obama understands Foreign Policy by visiting foreign countries. Where in the world did Eisenberg make that claim? Nowhere.

    You write that Bush did not invade Iraq to kill Bin Laden... and there again, that claim is not made in the piece at all.

    Jeez, please take a course in logic before you attempt writung again for Reason..

  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    You say Eisenberg fails to make his case that Obama understands Foreign Policy by visiting foreign countries. Where in the world did Eisenberg make that claim? Nowhere.

    It's right here, you moron:

    I think Barack Obama is a good leader for our diverse country because he's seen how the world lives. It doesn't take a lot to realize that seeing the world forces you to interact with it in a different way and I know that I feel more comfortable being represented by someone who's seen it.
  • Red Rocks Rockin||

    You write that Bush did not invade Iraq to kill Bin Laden... and there again, that claim is not made in the piece at all.

    Actually, Eggers said it right here, as quoted:

    And he accomplished what Bush’s two wars were meant to do: he removed the threat of Osama bin Laden.

    Christ, are you Tony's more retarded cousin, or do they not teach basic reading comprehension in school anymore?

  • Andy Dufrane||

    Jesse Eisenberg, can someone tell me why that little fucker is a movie star? ...Must be because of his membership in the tribe that owns and runs hollywood.

  • New West Republic||

    racist!

  • New West Republic||

    I'm probably far too optimistic about humanity, but I wonder if they can really keep churning out this level of highly-refined weapons-grade stupid for another 83 days without repeating.

  • JennyL||

    It is a light read. It's not like any of them can convince anyone's opinion.

  • GILMORE||

    Obama taught us all that we can all set extremely low standards but still drape ourselves with laurels of achievement, like nobel peace prizes, or pretending to have 'saved' jobs (uncreated)... its just like when we Millennials were growing up, and our parents made us play that version of soccer where they didn't keep score and everyone got a medal at the end... Romney is bad because he wants to call some people losers just because they don't work or spell well or do 'productive' things.... Obama showed us that Jobs are a RIGHT, and that Wall St is keeping us away from our entitled share of the Gross National Product... and Obama showed us that paying for college isnt our fault! We didnt build that! Someone else did, and they should pay for it. Obama also allowed us to go to our graves sure that we are not racist, because the one time we ever voted, we voted for Obama.

  • Maggie||

    glad I didn't read that heartbreaker book

  • JennyL||

    Jeeze people, you guys are taking Jesse's piece way too seriously.

  • Beefkins||

    Yes, we know you think that. You've posted it 3 times now.

  • triclops||

    +100

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