Ri Sol-ju Wins Out As Kim Jung-un’s “Excellent Horse-like Lady”

North Korean state television announced last night that the new leader Kim Jung-un had a wife, identified as “comrade Ri Sol-ju.” The comment came during a report on Kim’s visit to an amusement park, part of the long tradition of “looking at things” leadership North Korea helped pioneer. From Newser:

North Korean media showed Kim and Ri smiling broadly at each other, Kim leaning slightly toward her, as they inspected the newly opened Rungna People's Pleasure Ground, at one point watching a dolphin show… The news anchor spoke briefly, almost off-handedly, in identifying Ri, but gave no details, including how long she and Kim have been married.

The twenty-seven-year old Kim, recently elevated to the highest rank of the North Korean army, had been seen with a female companion for months, leading to speculation he was dating Hyon Song-wol, a North Korean “pop star” known for such patriotic tunes as “Excellent Horse-like Lady”.

Kim Jung-un’s grandfather, Kim Il-sung, remains the totalitarian state’s “eternal president” and his wife, mother of long-time “Dear Leader” Kim Jung-il, is celebrated by the state as “the heroine of the anti-Japanese revolution.” Kim Jung-il was never seen publicly with a woman even though he had wives and consorts, and several children, including a once heir-apparent who outed the Kims’ penchant for Tokyo Disneyland.

More Reason on North Korea

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  • John||

    She looks pretty thin. Quick someone call Anna Wintour so Vogue can continue its "wives of murderous dictators are so glamorous" series.

    I mean sure her husband is a vicious murderer who starves and oppresses his people. And sure she lives a life of luxury her people couldn't even imagine. But it is not like she is fat or something.

  • Ska||

    Lives a life of luxury? Or lives a life of permanent fear never knowing when someone will execute her family?

  • John||

    Both. I wouldn't want her life for anything. But I am sure she lives in luxury.

  • Chloe||

    And Vogue wouldn't want her anyway, she is not tall enough.

  • John||

    True. Anna Wintour and Vogue ought to be help up to unending ridicule and derision over that puff piece on Asad's wife. And did you see the interview with the journalist who wrote it? She said in so many words that Mrs Assad was thin and very stylish and that qualified her to be in Vogue. Therefore it didn't matter how horrible her husband was.

  • Chloe||

    Yes, I saw that interview. How self centered does an editor have to be, that her only requirement to write a puff piece is that subject is thin and stylish. Regardless of how much devastation her family has caused to innocent people.

  • Tonio||

    As self-centered as is Ms. Wintour, Chloe. Duh.

  • tarran||

    I couldn't watch the interview ... I wanted to start swearing at that shallow bitch.

    I can't put my finger on why I got so angry - I don't read Vogue, and surely a puff piece isn't going to alter the trajectory of the repressive, brutal regime one iota...

    But for some reason it really really pushed my buttons.

  • R C Dean||

    It was an illustration of the truism of modern leftism - it doesn't matter how much blood is on your hands, as long as you fit in with the Right People.

  • fish||

    No wonder she's a major Obama fundraiser! He's so tall and trim!

  • Ptah-Hotep||

    Has MO ever been in Vogue? If so, that would shoot your "tall and thin" meme to hell.

  • Chloe||

    I believe she was a heavily airbrushed cover girl, that was only pictured sitting or laying down.

  • Tonio||

    I don't even think this is a left/right thing, RC. It's more like completely amoral people versus everyone else.

  • John||

    What Tonio said. I don't give Wintour enough credit to call her Left or Right. She would have to qualify as a thinking human being for that.

  • Chloe||

    Starved and oppressed isn't even the worse of it. Have you read Escape from Camp 14? Terrifying stuff in there.

  • John||

    I haven't but I have read the reviews. North Korea is one of my hobbies. It is just so unimaginably horrible, I can't help but look.

    I really think it might be the worst regime of all time. Only Pol Pot's Cambodia comes close. But it only lasted four years. This has been going on for 60+ years now. Sixty years of utter and complete horror.

  • tarran||

    One thing that pisses me off is how outsiders keep shipping food that then is used to feed the military who then have the time and strength to keep the peasants in line.

    It's time to stop giving any aid to the North Korean Government. Period. It just strengthens their totalitarian grip.

  • BakedPenguin||

    This.

  • Chloe||

    800 million dollars have be given to NK by the US through the UN food program. It looks like the recently departed "dear leader" rejected anymore offers due to strict guidelines that the UN was imposing on handing out the aid, so we stop several years ago. But, because of the NK mismanagement of new currency laws that resulted in them wiping out everyones' savings, they began (along with humanitarian groups) crying for more help. So, the EU gave them an additional 10 million in food aid and I am unsure if we also helped.

    Someone did write that giving aid to NK, undermines the regime, but since they have so much control I kind of doubt that.

  • califernian||

    The best way to bring them down is to remove all trade barriers or sanctions with them.

    Once iphones and levis and cocacola start creeping over the border it's over.

  • Chloe||

    Don't forget vulgar pop culture, been freeing the enslaved since the 1980's.

  • R C Dean||

    I don't think that our trade barriers are really the ones keeping the Fruits of Capitalism from the Norks.

    I think its the Nork trade barriers doing most of that.

  • califernian||

    Even so, it never helps when we make it illegal for our own people to sell. See: Cuba.

  • BakedPenguin||

    If North Korea were ever to invade South Korea, their Army wouldn't make it past Seoul. Never mind the stuff SK has - once they saw all the food the Southerners have, all discipline would break down.

  • Ptah-Hotep||

    So instead of artillery, we should have trebuchets with chickens in them on the DMZ?

  • Tonio||

    Actually, Faux Pharaoh, you're on to something...

  • DEG||


    If North Korea were ever to invade South Korea, their Army wouldn't make it past Seoul. Never mind the stuff SK has - once they saw all the food the Southerners have, all discipline would break down.

    Not necessarily. Read Ivan's War. The Red Army, once they entered Germany, were jealous of the German's relative richness and found more reasons to fight and hate the Germans.

    Yes, the North Korean army fighting harder similar to the Red Army as they entered Germany is less likely. I don't think it is a foregone conclusion that the North Koreans will stop fighting as soon as they see the first South Korean grocery store.

  • Aresen||

    I am not sure that discipline would break down during the actual invasion of the South (although I think that the assumption that the North would walk over the South is questionable).

    However, the main risk for the leadership in the North is that the soldiers, even if victorious, would bring back stories of just how wealthy the South is, which would be a potential flashpoint for revolution in the North.

    Also, Germany had already carried out mass murder in Russia and most Russians had already lost relatives to the Wehrmacht. In such case, the thirst for vengeance would have been inflamed by the comparative wealth of the oppressor.

  • DEG||

    Also, Germany had already carried out mass murder in Russia and most Russians had already lost relatives to the Wehrmacht. In such case, the thirst for vengeance would have been inflamed by the comparative wealth of the oppressor.

    Very true.

    I hope we don't find out the hard way what the North Korean army would do in such a situation (meaning, I hope the Korean War doesn't start up again).

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Based on all the Koreans at the firing range yesterday, I predict that South Korea would kick the living shit out of North Korea.

  • db||

    The Red Army was the 99%.

  • Whiterun Guard||

    Who wouldn't kill for a figure like that!

  • Tonio||

    Nice, John.

  • Hugh Akston||

    She looks very unassuming. It's hard to believe that she had to kill the other three finalists with her bare hands in order to become the new Mother of the People.

  • BoscoH||

    SJP wasn't available. Damn you Matt Broderick!

  • Rasilio||

    Excellent Horse like Lady, does that mean he can ride her all night long?"

  • db||

    Pretty much the story of North Koreans' lives: Ridden hard and put away wet.

  • B.P.||

    I'm sure it was a storybook courtship.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    Of course the storybook being Game of Thrones and the courtship being like Joffrey and Sansa.

  • ant1sthenes||

    That sounds about right. Explains why the old general that was loyal to his father disappeared.

  • Brutus||

    I'm reading "Nothing to Envy" right now, shockingly the required freshmen must-read at Mizzou this year. The author talks about the gauntlet young women are put through before they are even allowed near these psychotic madmen. I can't imagine what she's been through.

  • sloopyinca||

    I hear all the stories about the people in NorKo living in fear their entire lives, but I have always seen a people resigned to their lot in life with a reverence for their leaders that is cultish.

    They don't live in fear because they are brainwashed. I'd be willing to bet a NorKo whose wife/husband/whatever is killed by the state shrugs his/her shoulders and wonders why they disrespected Dear Leader. They probably don't question whether or not they deserved it.

    The NorKo people are fuel for the Kim machine. They know it and they accept it. And as bizarre as that sounds to us, it will not change unless another nation forces it by armed conflict.

  • fish||

    ....the people in NorKo living in fear their entire lives

    How can you say that when something like Rungna People's Pleasure Ground exists. You need to get out more!

  • BakedPenguin||

    I don't think the Norks are all like that. It is, after all, a state so total Obama and his minions can only dream of it. They learn early they have to act as if the Dear Leader is the biggest thing ever, or they will be seen as suspect.

  • Tulpa the White||

    Yeah, but now most of the North Koreans have no memory of things being any other way.

    One of the compelling arguments for getting rid of incipient tyrants in foreign countries is that after a while it becomes essentially impossible for people to even think of revolting. Not compelling enough in my opinion, but it is there.

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    2000 years of Confucianism isn't helping them either. The North Korean people have been well trained to respect paternal authority.

  • Jennifer||

    I'd be willing to bet a NorKo whose wife/husband/whatever is killed by the state shrugs his/her shoulders and wonders why they disrespected Dear Leader.

    No. In North Korea, if one person runs afoul of the state all immediate family members go to the camps as well, and everybody knows that.

  • The Other Kevin||

    So who gets to go to this amusement park? Is it for the elites, or are all citizens welcome? If it's the latter, how bizarre that they have access to a dolphin show but not a meal.

  • Tonio||

    The elites, and chinese tourists, most likely. And yes, it's obscene that they even have crap like this when their people are starving, but like many dysfunctional families they put up a good front for outsiders.

  • Ice Nine||

    I'm just happy that he'll no longer be ronery.

  • Brutus||

    That was Kim Jong Il, and he's no ronger arive.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    I kan haz Excellent Horse-Like Lady Bitchin' Ride?

  • db||

    Whoa, seriously? Are you really P Brooks?

  • tarran||

    HEy, at least she lived this long:

    Apparently Kim Jong Il didn't like his son's infaturation with Ri Sol-Ju and forbade them from seeing each other.

    Now, if she had continued seeing him, the dad might have had her killed - didn't they stage some car accidents a year ago or so?

    But, if she had obeyed dad, the son might have been really pissed at her, and then after his ascension had her offed.

    My guess is she'll last about 7 years before the youngster ditches her for the girls in the pipeline his dad set up to harvest pretty girls and bring them to the capital for his pleasure.

  • $park¥||

    Is that photo from just before the Fury of Lightning shot bolts into the bars they're holding? Also, did she have green eyes?

  • Pro Libertate||

    If only North Korea were ruled by David Lo Pan!

  • sloopyinca||

    If only North Korea were ruled by David Lo Pan!

    Indeed!

  • Pro Libertate||

    I know he's evil and uses Chinese black magic, but he seems like a competent business man and may have a better understanding of economics than the other candidates. Also, one must expect that Chinese black magic would be useful for foreign policy.

    Strong on the economy. Strong on green-eyed girls. Lo Pan/Burton 2012.

  • sloopyinca||

    Lo Pan is unelectable. His obeisance to the Chinese import market has aided in the trade imbalance and the ultimate outsourcing of high-paying union manufacturing jobs to the unregulated hellholes of Shanghai and the Bohai Ring. It's people like him that are destroying American greatness because they care more about profits than their workers.

    A vote for David Lo Pan is a vote for the 1%, for greed and for those that want to see the American union worker suffer so a 11 year old Chinese girl can get paid $.37/hour to make Nikes that are marketed to inner-city youth at $125 a pair.

    /Obama-Biden2012 Press Release

  • Pro Libertate||

    Lo Pan's response: "Shut up, Mr. Obama! You were not brought upon this world to get it!"

  • Raston Bot||

    Jack Burton 2012!

  • fish||

    Jack Burton 2012!

    My mistake! I thought he meant LeVar.

  • Raston Bot||

    Dumbass progressives like this asshole think we should resume feeding the North Korean military.

    Pyongyang's brethren in Seoul show even less concern.

    To further extricate itself from any notion of responsibility, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and other high officials simply obsess, however true, about the depravity of the Pyongyang regime.

    The humanitarian community remains uncharacteristically reticent on the continuing disaster -- something of a first.

    Taking a fucking hint.

  • Hyperion||

    Can't we just send all of the progressives TO North Korea, so they can finally live their utopian dream? I will chip in generously for the one way tickets.

  • Brutus||

    Free education, free healthcare and top-notch gun control. What more could a good proglodyte want?

  • Aresen||

    Not to mention a HFCS-free diet.

  • Chloe||

    "A number of human-rights champions such as China and Russia..."

    Please tell me he was being facetious?

  • ||

    No, see, human rights are collective rights, so naturally, communists are the greatest human-rights champions.

  • Ptah-Hotep||

    A good place for this:

    The smallest minority on earth is the individual. Those who deny individual rights cannot claim to be defenders of minorities.
    Ayn Rand
  • John||

    I like that one.

  • Hyperion||

    The proglodytes will never buy into that one. They will explain it away, something about roads and bridges...

  • Tulpa the White||

    I totally support food aid to North Korea, delivered directly to the people by foreign UN workers with total control over the distribution and no government interference.

    Not sure if Mr. Jung-un would support that, though.

  • John||

    That is just it. The NORKS could get aid tommorow if they would just let the aid go to their people instead of their military.

    When Doctors Sans Borders refuse to give you aid, you really are the scum of the earth.

  • mustard||

    Nice. How would you like Hugo Chavez giving the US food aid conditioned on it being distributed by Venezuelan workers who would educate Americans about Venezuela-style community economics?

  • John||

    That is the biggest pile of stupid I have ever read mustard. The NORKS are a horrible oppressive regime who refuse to allow the world to feed their starving population because doing so might cause their people to realize how horrible they are.

    Yeah, that is just like your example. Just like it.

    Defending the North Koreans. That is stupid even by liberal standards.

  • Mr. FIFY||

    That's mustard for ya, John. He comes out of hiding once in a while, and poots forth his stored-up stoopid.

  • Zeb||

    I'm pretty sure Mustard is parody. Hard to tell sometimes, though.

  • db||

    A quarter-ounce green rosette of stupid?

  • Aresen||

    I am absolutely fine with that.

    It would probably take the average "Venezuelan aid worker" about 5 minutes to figure out that the people he was giving aid to - the "poor" of the US - live better than the aid worker.

  • Brutus||

    No-neck Hugo did that already, just with oil. He sent all kinds of heating oil to RFK, Jr.'s non-profit for distribution to po foke here.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Pyongyang's brethren in Seoul...

    Seoul brothers? Really?

  • Brutus||

    Too beaucoup!

  • Hyperion||

    "a North Korean “pop star”

    Don't they run out of lyrics after a while? I mean, how many ways are there to sing about how great dear leader is?

  • Chloe||

    They probably do a reverse christian music thing, but instead of removing the word love and adding Jesus, they remove Jesus and add leader.

  • Your Old TV||

    Lyrics for "Excellent Horse-Like Lady"

    Our factory comrades say in jest
    Why they tell me I am a virgin on a stallion
    After a full day’s work i still have energy left
    My skills are truly like lightening they say
    They say I am a virgin on a stallion
    Yet again today I was the first to leave for work
    Apparently my name was in the paper
    In a xx time
    An award given to youth who live in flight
    They say I am a virgin on a stallion
    The party era is teeming with creation
    A new name they present to youth
    Mounting a stallion the dear leader gave me
    All my life I will live to uphold his name
    They say I am a virgin on a stallion
    Mounting a stallion my dear leader gave me
    All my life I will live to uphold his name

    Go figure.

  • Chloe||

    Our weary world say in jest
    Why they tell me I am a virgin on a stallion
    After a full day’s life i still have energy left
    His words are truly like lightening they say
    They say I am a virgin on a stallion
    Yet again today I was the first to leave for work
    Apparently my name is written on a paper
    In a xx time
    An award given to those who live in faith
    They say I am a virgin on a stallion
    These thoughts are teeming with creation
    A new name they present to youth
    Mounting a stallion Jesus Christ gave me
    All my life I will live to uphold his name
    They say I am a virgin on a stallion
    Mounting a stallion that Jesus Christ gave me
    All my life I will live to uphold his name

    Or, something like that

  • SIV||

    watching a dolphin show

    If the people ever rise up they should eat those dolphins.

  • Ptah-Hotep||

    Tuna free dolphin!

  • Hyperion||

    Fuck a you, Dolpiiiiinssss! And fuck a you whales!

  • Ri Sol-ju||

    The horror. The horror.

  • SKR||

    Wow, that video sure is something.

  • Abdul||

    Ronery no more!

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