Geraldo Rivera: “Manually Raped” by Airport Screener

Geraldo Rivera joined Fox & Friends this morning to react to the story of an 18-month-old baby girl being removed off a plane for having her name on a no-fly list, but made news himself when he said, by way of explaining that he was actually on the no-fly list for some time too, that the last time he flew to Afghanistan he “got manually raped” by the screener, who seemed to Geraldo to be “getting off on it” and even becoming a “bit more intimate” as Geraldo grew more agitated and irritated.

Geraldo says he only got off the no-fly list after “kicking and screaming and embarrassing the TSA on their utter incompetence,” leaving little hope of a formal process to get off the list being any easier. A clip of the interview:


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  • Gladstone||

    Does this make a prudish SoCon latent homo?

  • Gladstone||

    Geraldo that is...

  • Gladstone||

    The real question is how does the TSA provide support for gay marriage and defeat the SoCons.

  • Aresen||

    Yes, But did Geraldo enjoy it?


    Also, can Geraldo be put on the "No Broadcast" list?

  • The Other Kevin||

    That's disgraceful. The only one allowed to manually rape Geraldo should be STEVE SMITH. These things should be left to the experts.

  • Hugh Akston||

    Everything is rape now. The Jezebelation of our culture is complete.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Your statement rapes me.

  • Gladstone||

    Eh didn't rape originally mean theft?

  • ||

    Gentlemen (and ladies), I have the solution! We must rape rape!

  • Mr. FIFY||

    Only STEVE SMITH is capable of raping rape itself, Epi.

  • Mr. FIFY||

    For some reason, the paraphrase "the only thing we have to rape, is rape itself" just now popped into my head...

  • ||

    I hate to be the guy who actually defends TSA screeners, but which scenario is more likely:
    A) TSA screener "gets off" feeling up Geraldo.
    B) Geraldo's giant ego makes him think TSA screener is getting off on it, even though the screener would much rather be doing any other thing in the world.
    C) Geraldo is trying to drum up a story because he's an attention whore and he's lying about the whole thing.
    D) TSA screener was just surprised to discover Geraldo has no balls at all, and was feeling around to find them.

  • ||

    I don't believe a damn thing that comes out of Geraldo Rivera's mouth.

  • Hugh Akston||

    You doubt Rupert Murdoch's schlong?

  • Mo' $parky||

    E) All of the above.

  • Aresen||


  • R C Dean||

    For some reason, TSA stories bring the auto-ad with the chick who's pants are unzipped.

    Your auto-ad algorithm is awesome. Possibly even sentient.

  • ||

    Something in your browsing history! I get video surveillance, something I've been looking for lately.

  • fabius||

    That's almost enough to get me to turn off my ad blocker.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I love that chick. I'm into red heads though. Also, I like chicks with unzipped pants so winner winner chicken dinner.

  • Coach Outlet123||


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