Dating at CPAC

Washington, D.C. - Are you young, single, and conservative? Are you uncomfortable around women? Do you struggle when asking members of the liberal media out on a date? If you answered yes to any of these questions and you skipped the conservative dating seminar at CPAC you probably missed out on some of the most important advice you will ever receive. Ok, not really. But you still missed an entertaining time. 

Wayne Elise, founder of Charisma Arts “a company devoted to helping people become more charismatic though fun online content and in-person instruction,” gave attendees an overview on how to approach and deal with members of the opposite sex. He briefly performed what seemed like a comedy routine before he explained to people not only how to act on a date, but how to get a date with an attractive member of the opposite sex.

"Rick Santorum, isn't he the handsomest man running for president now? Isn't that how it goes? The best looking guy wins?” he asked.

He continued talking about the attractiveness of the candidates before a young woman chimes in.

"Mitt Romney's sons."

"Can we talk to security and get Mitt Romney's sons in here? I am sure that guy can, he looks important."

"They are all married," replies the woman, sounding disappointed

Then there was an awkward silence before he moved on with his routine.

The hour long presentation was heavy on political references but it could have worked with any audience. The former juggler and street performer encouraged people to just “be themselves” on dates.

“When you’re on a date, instead of trying to impress your date, make her feel more comfortable. That means you can make fun of yourself,” he said.

Elise encouraged those present to be more assertive with others but not to the point where you scare them off. “You don’t have to be a pick up artist. When you’re at a bar don’t go talk to the hot girl immediately,” he said

It was an event that, at first glance, looked as if was designed to distract members of the press from covering Rick Perry’s speech rather than help awkward conservative singles. During the question and answer session most of the questions asked were by media rather than participants.

In this video a member of the British press asks Elise why dating for conservatives is dating for others. Elise said conservatives tend to be too stiff and referenced how he had a good time at a party with a socialist. He then talks about what would be a good date for a couple. One of the attendees at the event suggests going to a gun club. 

More CPAC dating video here and here

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  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Are u conservative? Do you want discreet dates with hot socialist guys and gals? Come to bipolitical dOT c@m and meet statists and liberals with great racks/great packages (depending on sex and preference). Why are you waiting? Try now - it's free!

  • Bingo||

    lol

  • ||

    Springtime for CPAC and Mitt Romney.
    Santorum is happy and gay.
    We're dating at a faster pace.
    Look out!
    Here comes the bastard race.

  • Mean Girl||

    Are you uncomfortable around women?

    Way too easy. I must pass.

  • AlmightyJB||

    If you are not a loser just close this link now.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    Stop horning in on my turf!

    Don't listen to this guy - I can get you the hottest cross-political action around. We got social democrats, environmentalists, heck, we even got a few communists and some anarchists just waiting to get occupied, if you know what I mean.

    So piss off, notacluerious.

  • The Pointer-Outer||

    I'll bet you anything you don't have any libertarian socialists... because they can't exist in real life.

  • ||

    After this guy, Warty will give a seminar on how to rape conservatives vs liberals, and what it means for your raping scene. Don't miss it. I know I will.

  • 35N4P2BYY||

    And after Warty both Obama and Romney will give a seminar on properly raping taxpayers.

  • ||

    Their presentation, unlike Warty's, includes a demonstration.

  • Sudden||

    Warty is just the opening act. STEVE SMITH is the headliner.

  • ||

    Isn't 'Steve Smith' Chris Matthews' alias? That damn tingle's GOT to be a giveaway.

  • Eduard van Haalen||

    I say capitalism
    You say end corporate prisons
    I say creative destruction
    You want stimulus construction

    Capitalism! End corporate prisons!
    Creative Destruction! Stimulus construction!
    Let's call the whole thing off...

  • ¢||

    Dating-advice-for-bottoms dude's blog is astoundingly "creepy."

    10/10, if he's trollin'.

  • ||

    When I want a hot date at a conservative convention I tap my toe in the men's room.

  • 35N4P2BYY||

    I lol'd.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Don't forget the wide stance.

  • Doctor Whom||

    You may want to search for "CPAC" on the m4m sections of washingtondc.craigslist.org. Not judgin', just sayin'.

  • Sudden||

    "Mitt Romney's sons."

    "They are all married," replies the woman, sounding disappointed

    Not gold-digging at all... nah, couldn't possibly be gold-digging.

  • ||

    ummm...sure they are rich....they are also attractive.

    No Homo.

  • Apatheist||

    I don't know, marry a mormon and you get your own fucking planet. I think I'll give them a pass on that one.

  • Sudden||

    I thought it was Newt that made his wives that promise, not Romney.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    One planet's not big enough for Newt.

  • Ted S.||

    They're Mormons. They can have more than one wife.

  • ||

    soooo....

    Where are the dating tips for libertarians?

  • Ska||

    Step 1: don't bring up politics.

  • ||

    Q: What are the advantages of using Linux?

    A: Your dick will never smell like pussy.

  • ryan||

    Step 2: Lie. A lot.

  • Tman||

    Step 3.)If she admits to being a libertarian keep your dick in your pants for a few minutes buddy, you may not see the likes of this white whale again.

  • ryan||

    Step 3+: But she definitely won't do that so you're good to go.

  • Libertarian woman||

    Say, do you know any architects?

  • 0x90||

    At last year's AIA (American Institute of Architects) convention, they booked Thomas Friedman for the keynote.

  • Thomas Friedman||

    Mustache rides for all!

  • ||

    Do they teach their students to build blocky, butt-ugly, unstable, inconvenient, cramped, shitty mish-mash Soviet-style office-apartment buildings that collapse after 30 years, then?

  • Libertarian Woman||

    I was thinking something more granite-y and rape-y.

  • 0x90||

    I don't know, I just write some software that they use.

  • Libertarian Woman||

    Oh, close enough.

  • GILMORE||

    Step 1: don't bring up politics.

    +1 there, sorta

    I dated a girl for 6 years, and she didn't really know my political 'leanings' for the first 3. We'd *talk* foreign policy stuff all the time (she was a graduate student @ School for International Public Affairs, then a UN worker)...and our differences would emerge from time to time, but never so much so that she assumed I was anything other than a standard NYC progressive liberal with the occasional iconoclastic opinions on specific policies.

    We went to a (please don't puke) Al Franken political-comedy show back when he was still a comedian (did he ever really stop?)... and he was trying to make a impromptu joke about Afghanistan, and was struggling to remember how the name of the operation changed for PR reasons (it was switched from "Infinite Justice", to "Enduring Freedom") and since I was near the front row I spoke up and told him. We ended up getting into a 5 minute tete-a-tete for some reason (comedians love to include the crowd)... and every time he made a point (re: unions, welfare, 'corporate greed', sensible tax policy, healthcare etc) I dropped him with my libertoid kung fu.

    After a few minutes of me wailing on him (and getting weakly booed at times)... he goes, "Dear god, a Republican actually paid to come to my show!" (big laugh) and I go, "Im libertarian actually"...(silence). "Isn't that just a republican who smokes pot?" (big laugh)... I go, "I think its what happens to democrats who eventually actually understand economics" (boo!)..."so are you a big fan of mine?".... "No".... "Well what are you doing here?"...."My girlfriend brought me" ...(he turns to her)...."So you go both ways I see..." (big laugh)....She blurts out, "I DIDN'T KNOW!!"... (big laugh including me)...

    He then goes on a lame improv on how 'closet conservatives' must try and pick up liberals.

    It was funny. Not him, her honestly being stunned at realizing her boyfriend wasn't really a fellow traveler in the progressive mission. I think anyone who ultimately really cares about a partner's political leanings though is kind of a loser. I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone who always agrees with me. Fortunately I never have that problem.

  • ||

    I wouldn't want to spend my life with someone who always agrees with me.

    I can say with authority that the reverse isn't all it's cracked up to be.

  • Bingo||

    Holy shit, that is really damn funny. Agreed about politics in a relationship bit, it can be a plus if they are similar but you should never let it be a minus if they are not.

    The biggest dealbreaker for me is strict vegetarianism or veganism. One girl I know orders french fries everytime we go out, no matter what the restaurant is. God that shit gets old.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Take her to McDonalds.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Take a deep breath and close your eyes. Now clear your mind, forget everything you know about people, politics, and economics.

    OK, now you're ready.

  • ||

    Fuck her brains out over the sink (assuming this is a really classy, high-grade marble bathroom) this way, that way, up way, down way, yay way, hay way, every way, and when you can fuck no more, walk away. Then send her a letter telling her you think she's a fucking moron (if she's a liberal/big-state faux-republican). Win.

  • ||

    I am beginning to understand why Tony cruised this site looking for his king.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Send her a letter? Thanks for the advice, grandpa.

  • ||

    1) I'm in my twenties.

    2) Letters are classier, dude. Only Tony breaks up with his sugar daddies by text and email.

  • A Serious Man||

    The Three Laws of Libertarian Dating:
    1. A libetarian must always first date any availible female libertarian
    2. A libertarian must choose a female whom is comfortable with the everyday manifestations of his libertarian ideaology, provided that it not conflict the 1st law.
    3. A libertarian must protect the integrity of his own beliefs, provided that it not conflict with the 1st and 2nd laws.

  • ||

    I, Libertard?

  • Fatty Bolger||

    lol

  • ||

    It was Adolf Hitler who manufactured the first libertards, but a dissenter started making them secretly with the ability to disobey the Three Laws, so now you have shit like Ron Paul's advances and a slow crawl towards libertarian positions. Thank fuck for Nazi dissenters.

  • ||

    ie, libertarians would never be able to spread their genes/breed otherwise.

  • A Serious Man||

    No, no. A.I: Artificial Indignation.

  • ||

    I've always done fine with women without hiding my rampant, throbbing, tumescent libertarianism. Most people are fairly libertarian on the interpersonal level, even if it is just for themselves. The ones that aren't have a whole headful of bad wiring and you should avoid them as much as possible.

    Soft-peddling the policy ramifications of libertarianism at first, and leaning in hard on the anti-authoritarian aspects of our philosophy helps as well. Be a bad boy, even if you aren't. But don't get too worked up about things. It's very off-putting during the casual phase of a burgeoning relationship.

    Also, become very capable at performing oral sex. Most women can forgive anything trivial like politics, gaming, or an encyclopedic knowledge of the Dune universe if your tongue is masterful.

  • Coeus||

    Also, become very capable at performing oral sex. Most women can forgive anything trivial like politics, gaming, or an encyclopedic knowledge of the Dune universe if your tongue is masterful.

    All good advice except this. I can eat pussy like it's going out of style, but I got way more repeat business when I just rolled over and went to sleep.

    Ahh, the counter-intuitiveness of dating.

  • women||

    Next time, try not rolling over before going to sleep. We like that even more.

  • Coeus||

    You like aspirating other people's sweat?

  • ||

    Also, become very capable at performing oral sex.

    This matters more for keeping them than for getting them. If you just want to increase your body count, feel free to leave them as unsatisfied as you please.

  • STEVE SMITH||

    STEVE ALWAYS BE SELF ON DATES. STEVE MORE THAN JUST RAPE. LOOK, STEVE HAVE SENSE OF HUMOR. MAKE MOD FOR SKYRIM. LIBERTARIAN MUD CRAB.

  • ||

    There's so much fucking awesome in that picture, Stevey-boy, I don't even know how many Internets to give you.

  • Sudden||

    It's moments like this I envy the PC gamer sect.

  • ||

    Console scum. OUT.

  • cynical||

    As well you should, untergamer.

  • Mudcrab||

  • ||

    Yes that makes a lot of sense dude. Wow.

    www.anon-pc-tools.tk

  • Sevo||

    GILMORE|2.9.12 @ 7:56PM|#
    "Step 1: don't bring up politics.

    +1 there, sorta

    I dated a girl for 6 years, and she didn't really know my political 'leanings' for the first 3."
    ------------
    Uh, six years?! And such matters as what magic is going to be provided by those who are forced to provide it never entered the discussion?
    Boy, that must have been some pretty tasty twat!
    I find this hard to believe. When I was dating, even those with whom I disagreed were not long ignorant of my views. And when there was real disagreement, it didn't last long.
    Sorry, but while I don't want an echo, I don't want to avoid discussion of things that matter.

  • nicole||

    Sorry, but while I don't want an echo, I don't want to avoid discussion of things that matter.

    Yeah, I'm the same way. I've been surprised upthread by how much the opposite seems to prevail, but I figured that as a girl I probably just had a harder time separating my thinking parts from my doing-it parts.

  • Sevo||

    "as a girl I probably just had a harder time separating my thinking parts from my doing-it parts."

    As a male, I blew-off several gals who had zero sympathy for my views, and was blown-off by several who hated my views.
    Why would being a gal affect the issue one way or the other?

  • Coeus||

    Because most women are repulsed by the idea of a hate fuck, and most men are turned on by it.

  • nicole||

    Also because I was joking.

    But you will find just this view espoused more sincerely on this morning's links thread.

  • GILMORE||

    Meh. It was one of those things. Besides, if you're talking tax policy with your girlfriend?.... yeah, I'm sure there's a place for that. But for fucks sake man, there are other things in life.

  • veemee sashimi||

    I have found that for people who have trouble with women, the advice of "be yourself" is the worst possible advice to give. "Yourself" happens to be someone who has trouble with women, and being that person is a recipe for failure.

    You're better off trying to fake confidence, rather than "being yourself" and displaying that, deep down, you have none.

  • Coeus||

    Yup. Fake it til you make it is probably the best advice you can get.

    It applies to just about *everything.

    *Exceptions include, but are not limited to:

    Pilot
    Surgeon
    Nuclear Technician

  • Quagmire||

  • Jumbie||

    On the 8th day, man invented alcohol.

  • Doctor Whom||

  • Tonio||

    Garret, that pic screams out for alt-text.

  • Killazontherun||

    Okay, think I got the caption contest winner with this one:

    http://media.reason.com/mc/_ex.....=300&w=225

    Pardon me, but could you help out a fellow American who's down on his luck?

  • Sevo||

    A Serious Man|2.9.12 @ 7:42PM|#
    "The Three Laws of Libertarian Dating:
    1. A libetarian must always first date any availible female libertarian
    2. A libertarian must choose a female whom is comfortable with the everyday manifestations of his libertarian ideaology, provided that it not conflict the 1st law.
    3. A libertarian must protect the integrity of his own beliefs, provided that it not conflict with the 1st and 2nd laws."

    Are you sure you want to make those statements so gender-specific?

  • veemee sashimi||

    Any time you use the word 'libertarian' you're in danger of being 'gender-specific.'

  • buy3buy.com||

    wow

  • You Had Me At Hello||

    If you are uncomfortable meeting women or men I would suggest going on www.YouHadMeAtHello.com. Its pretty easy to talk to people there.

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