Vodka-Soaked Tampons Are 'Everywhere'

KPHO, the CBS affiliate in Phoenix, marvels at the kids today, with their vodka-soaked tampons and butt chugging:

"This is not isolated to any school, any city, any financial area," Officer Chris Thomas, a school resource officer, said. "This is everywhere."...

"What we're hearing about is teenagers utilizing tampons, soak them in vodka first before using them," Thomas said.

"It gets absorbed directly into the bloodstream. There's no barrier, there's no stomach acid to prevent it," Thomas said....

"This is definitely not just girls," Thomas said. "Guys will also use it and they'll insert it into their rectums."

And that's not all.

"Using a beer bong rectally is the same concept as a vodka soaked tampon," Thomas said.

Rather than the traditional beer bong you'd find at a college party, kids are sticking the tube elsewhere to get wasted.

They're calling it "butt chugging."

A Nexis search turns up no earlier mentions of butt chugging—not even in a South Park plot summary. But news outlets have been fitfully fascinated by tampon tippling over the years:

Reuters, March 1999: "Some teen-age Finnish girls are experimenting with tampons dipped in vodka as a way of getting tipsy without parents detecting boozy breath, an anti-drinking group said yesterday."

A May 2003 review of a Vic Chesnutt album in the St. Louis Riverfront Times mentioned his "hilarious" song "Band Camp," in which he "recounts the story of a high-school girl who soaked a tampon in vodka and fell off her stool in science class."

At a September 2009 "drug detection forum" in Bangor, Maine, according to the Bangor Daily News, U.S. Customs and Border Protection Agent Amy Dorsey warned that "tampons can be soaked in vodka and inserted rectally to get drunk."

A March 2011 op-ed piece in the Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, Patriot News listed "soaking tampons with alcohol to insert vaginally for women and anally for men" as one of several "alcohol-consumption methods [that] aim to enhance absorption by dumping booze directly into the blood stream." The others: "pouring alcohol into eyes" and "brushing teeth until bloody and then drinking." 

A May 2011 story in the Lehigh Valley, Pennsylvania, Express-Times claimed "using a tampon soaked in vodka" is "gaining popularity because it's a discreet way to get drunk."

Contradicting these other accounts, a November 2010 USA Today story about "a bizarre method of trying to get plastered by absorbing alcohol through the eyeball" also mentioned "the use of vodka-soaked tampons for both women and men" as a "generally ineffectual means of becoming inebriated."

But you never know for sure until you try it, kids!

Snopes.com lists the truth status of this tale as "undetermined."

[Thanks to Max Minkoff for the tip.]

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  • ||

    Marvel, folks, at the stupidity of the media. It really is this stupid. Reporters are really this stupid. Enjoy your evening news.

  • Tym||

    This is stupid, but at least very slightly, improbably, unlikely theoretically possible to absorb alcohol this way; but enough to get drunk?

    Now, not exactly new, but check this out this for even worse stupidity Web delivers new worry for parents: Digital drugs

  • McSneed||

    It is not unlikely at all. It's a far more efficient way to get the ETOH in the bloodstream than drinking. People have died from alcohol enemas. Look it up.

  • Amakudari||

    People who wrote this believed it was true. Comments section folks are equally torn. These were the same retards who went crazy over vodka eyeballing.

    Fuck, some people are stupid.

  • WTF||

    But what if they soak the tampons and butt chug FOUR LOKO?!!!1111!!!

  • ||

    I blame the large-size tampons that are available these days, OVER-THE-COUNTER, I might add. Don't even have to show ID in most states.

  • JoJo Zeke||

    "New Smirnoff Soakers: now available in Small, Medium, Large, Extra Large and Amy Winehouse."

  • ||

    I wouldn't be surprised if "Smirnoff Soakers" was already trademarked. Just a name waiting for a product.

  • ||

    I'm laughing uncontrollably. Thank you.

  • ||

    gives new meaning to "down under"...

  • wwhat||

    Why would someone need to show ID to get a tampon? That would be unfair to women on their period, and ID doesn't specify whether the women is on her period. And it's not like there's a specific age periods start for all women, many times children will hit puberty early on.

  • GILMORE||

    instant insanity, murder spree, death from vomit coming out of the ass and shit out of the mouth.

    Basically, you turn into White Indian for a minute.

  • Tym||

    It does work for valium:

    Diastat (Diazepam Rectal)

  • Spencer||

    I bet all the reporters giggled when they said butt-chugged.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    They probably used that certain overly formal voice that means "I have to say this silly word but I really don't want to."

  • Spencer||

    maybe with a preface of "are you ready for this" or "you won't believe this".

  • Chris Matthews||

    "[...] tampons, soak them in vodka first before using them."

    The secret of my success... and, bonus points: I feel fresh, all day long!

  • Spoonman.||

    Um, isn't it the alcohol in your bloodstream that makes your breath boozy via your lungs, not oral ingestion?

  • Network News||

    Well you know how dumb those kids are. Not like us. We're smart.

  • RoboCain||

    Actually, it's both.

  • ||

    does that mean that you have smear toothpaste in your butt crack as well?

  • sarcasmic||

    The obvious solution is to ban tampons.

  • adam||

    No, you just have to show ID, be over 21, sign a register, and are limited to 21 per month.

  • ||

    No. Ban anuses.

  • ||

    Um ... then who would write/read the news for all us Unwashed?

  • Bill||

    No, just tampons small enough to fit into the vagina or anus. Just regulate their production for the betterment of society, but we don't want to do anything drastic and ban them completely.

    That would be stupid.

  • Joe M||

    The others: "pouring alcohol into eyes" and "brushing teeth until bloody and then drinking."

    Because hey, the point is to have a good time, right?

  • Bill||

    You could also brush your vagina or anus until bloody, then insert the tampon.

  • Ed||

    Have you ever gotten vodka in your eye? On a cut? It frickin' hurts! That's not a way to get falling down drunk, that's a way to get falling on the ground screaming in pain that won't go away.

  • Spencer||

    Business idea! A bar where the booze is delivered via douche and enima.

    Who wouldn't go there!

  • Coeus||

    It would be a good way to cut the ice on a first date.

  • ||

    what would you call that bar,

    Phil McCracken's
    Netherland
    Innuendo

  • Joe M||

    If only we could ban assholes.

  • ||

    no earlier mentions of butt chugging—not even in a South Park plot summary

    which is further evidence that Parker and Stone are phoning it in lately.

  • ||

    Oh come on, this season's been great, especially the second half.

    And there's still time between today and Wednesday to work butt chugging into the episode.

  • ||

    Soaking a tampon in vodka and then trying to cram it into your rectum seems like a good way to squeeze out all the vodka.

    And, I'm just still just guessing here, but I would imagine you would have one hell of a burning sensation, regardless of the non-oral orifice used.

  • Spencer||

    You are operating under the assumption these dude have un-loosened rectums.

  • ||

    I was thinking the same thing. Anyone who's put cologne "down there" knows what I'm talking about. Is alcohol really all that different?

  • Matrix||

    you put cologne down there? Why why you do something like tha-... oh, nevermind. I really don't want to know!

  • ||

    Once when I was late and didn't have time to shower that day. Lesson learned.

  • Bingo||

    ...

  • Nancy Pelosi||

    Every time I slide a tampon up my gnarled, resin-y slip'n'slide, it immediately pickles quicker than a cucumber soaked in Windex.

    True story.

  • Nancy Pelosi's Husband||

    Whenever the two of us make love nowadays, it sounds like a pair of emory boards being rubbed together by a methamphetamined bonobo.

    True story.

  • *||

    So, am I the only one still huffing jenkem?

  • Reformed Republican||

    I huff jenkem with a vodka tampon in my rectum, then I do a few hits of Strawberry Quick meth for extra kick.

  • Kristen||

    I huff jenkem with a vodka tampon in my vag and my rectum, then I do a few hits of Strawberry Quick meth while downloading hallucinogenic sounds from iTunes.

  • Joe M||

    One of the owners of the bar I moonlight at is rumored to have parties in which he convinces women to put champagne in a turkey baster.

  • ||

    And then everyone enjoys a good laugh at the sight of a turkey baster filled with champagne. It's quite absurd.

  • The Other Kevin||

    Heard a story once about some rich and famous person filling a hot tub with champagne, just because he could. Everyone jumped out screaming due to the burning sensation.

  • GILMORE||

    real libertarians all bathe in champagne hot-tubs while polishing their monocle to better shoot the poor crowded up against the gate in front of the mansion.

  • The Other Kevin||

    Can't wait to see them tackle this one on Mythbusters.

  • Adam Savage||

    "Jamie! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO -- !!!"

  • Kari||

    Not. Gonna. Happen.

  • Grant Imahara||

    Fine. Whatever. I'll just build myself a RoboKari to do it, then.

  • Nipplemancer||

    Fine. Whatever. I'll just build myself a another RoboKari to do it, then.

  • Kari||

    Yeah, like you don't already have one. You little sick bastard.

  • RoboTory||

    *siiiiiigh*... always a bridesmaid...

  • Jamie Hyneman||

    Ever have... you know... "walrus kisses?" Down there, I mean?

  • Adam Savage||

    Got me this sweet, sweet co-hosting gig, didn't it...?

  • ||

    Buster's been blown up, decapitated by shards of truck tire, had a bamboo shoot grown through him, and fed to sharks ... but the line has to be drawn somewhere.

  • ||

    ^^this^^

  • Chatroom Crank||

    This was linked on Balko's site over the weekend.

    https://tinycatpants.wordpress.com/2011/11/11/in-which-i-debunk-the-vodka-soaked-tampon-myth/

    "But the idea that kids are, in great number, just popping vodka-soaked tampons up inside themselves and going off to party with none the wiser that they’d been imbibing? Not happening. That’s just not how tampons work."

  • Cliché Bandit||

    I wish I had been the troll to come up with this bullshit. This is epic stupid. I WANT to believe that at least ONE individual in the media room said "hey guys, i think this might be a joke." but I guess not.

    We are so fucked. OR, a journalism degree is a prerequisite for admittance to special olympics training camp.

  • Zeb||

    Or maybe they are all in on the joke.

    Nah, probably just stupid and lazy.

  • Pope Jimbo||

    I'm with you. You almost wonder how the "tipster" gets through his bit with the reporter without laughing.

    Someone must be channeling Andy Kaufman.

  • ||

    smells like another urban legend...
    ah, bad choice of words

  • mr simple||

    Snopes.com lists the truth status of this tale as "undetermined."

    No one was available to take one for the team? Not even in the name of science?

  • BoscoH||

    We tried vodka soaked tampons this weekend but could not figure out what to do with the olives.

  • JoJo Zeke||

    Other nicknames for this practice used by kids on the street include "Absolut Power," "Mr. Belvedere" and "Smirnoffing."

  • Joe M||

    Okay, Reasonoids, brainstorming time. We need to conceive of the most ridiculous possible method for ingesting something, and create a media frenzy over it. I know, we're up against some tough competition, but surely there is something even more ridiculous that hasn't been thought of yet.

  • Spencer||

    sperm+ear canal = brain babies of illegals here for birth tourism without people detecting they're preggers.

  • ||

    I replace my Visine with Everclear. After about 400 eyedrops and a 1/2 hour of partial blindness, I'm hammered.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Mr. Sugarfree, please call your office.

  • poetry||

    Mr. Sugarfree, please call your orifice

    FTFY

  • ||

    Smoking Kool-Aid-laced joints. Call it "color-tripping." If you smoke Cherry, you see everything tinted in red; orange begets orange-vision.

    An 11-year-old has already beat his baby brother to death while screaming that the Oompa-Loompas had replaced them with one of their own: "The Oompa-Loompa Cuckoo Murder"

  • Colonel_Angus||

    What about color changing Kool-Aid?

  • ||

    Reverse rainbow parties.

  • Coeus||

    Does "reverse rainbow parties" mean an orifice which resembles the end "2001: A Space Odyssey" as you approach it?

  • Mainer||

    Your mind is a terrible thing.

    3. exciting terror, awe, or great fear; dreadful; awful.
    4.formidably great: a terrible responsibility

  • Joe M||

    What about snorting powdered alcohol?

  • ||

    They did the inhaling alcohol bars for a while, but they shut them down IIRC.

  • ||

    The hep new trend among young people today is snorting Nutra-Sweet. They call it "Diet Coke" ...

  • EDG reppin' LBC||

    Sometimes when I am out with clients, I wish I was at home, on my sofa smoking weed. Over the years, I picked up this little trick; I put my loose weed (about a quarter ounce) into my sock. During the day, the friction of walking with the weed in my shoe, breaks it down and it essentially turns into hashish. I've found that left in the sock long enough, my foot will absorb the hashish, and I'll be high as a kite after about 4 hours. My clients never suspect a thing. I recommend all professionals do this to conceal weed consumption. I call this practice "my pedicure". I have also seen it referred to as "high-jumping", "good-footin'", "goofy foot", and "footballing".

  • Joe M||

    Thanks for the chuckle. The nicknames are especially good.

  • spencer||

    goofy foot is when it's placed in the left shoe, right?

  • GILMORE||

    . We need to conceive of the most ridiculous possible method for ingesting something, and create a media frenzy over it

    When I learned what "parachuting" was I was pretty impressed. I didn't think anyone actually *did* it though. Then I met a gay raver dude who'd stuffed X up his ass wrapped in tp.

    I think the line, "lets parachute some heroin and fuck with the stars" is a nice lyric.

  • OuterSunsetAnthropologist||

    It's called booty bumping if you do it with X.

  • JoJo Zeke||

    "SuperCaliFragilisticExpialiSmirnoff!!!"

  • Chatroom Crank||

    The thought of shoving alcohol in any form up my butt brings to mind the Johnny Cash classic, "Ring of Fire".

    "and it burns burns burns, that ring of fire, ring of fire.........."

  • Colonel_Angus||

    I am never hitting a beer bong again.

  • jtuf||

    Speaking of mind altering chemicals in vaginas, semen contains pheromones that make women feel good.

  • Bobarian||

    And if you swallow it, it'll help you lose weight and clear up your skin.

  • ||

    Hence the term throat yogurt

  • Bill||

    LMAO Never heard that one before ....

  • Barney Frank||

    You need to get out more.

  • Pink, Supple 10-Year-Old||

    And if you swallow it, it'll help you lose weight and clear up your skin.

    "Well... okay. If you're absolutely certain, Coach Sandusky..."

  • Devil's Advocate||

    Good for clearing up your sore throat too - aka the "salty lozenge"

  • Percy and Bert||

    Semen bong.

  • ||

    I don't understand the necessity of the tampon intermediary. Can't you just pour the booze in directly? It's going to take up less volume WITHOUT the tampon.

  • ||

    Turkey baster.

  • Some Teenage Girl||

    You're totally right! That's why I always use a hollowed out dildo instead! Twice the fun if you know what I mean!

  • ||

    The booze would fall out, the tampon helps keep it in place long enough to absorb. You try partying hard with booze pouring out your snatch/anus.

  • Spencer||

    they can stand on their heads.

  • ||

    Oh, I see. I thought it would be like doing a keg stand (ie, upside down).

    At the very least you could pour it in the hole and then put a fresh, dry tampon in behind it to prevent leakage.

  • Zeb||

    Or... something else.

  • Percy and Bert||

    You try partying hard with booze pouring out your snatch/anus.

    Try it?! That be THE BEST!!

  • Houghton Mifflin||

    booze pouring out your snatch/anus

    "I think we've finally found the perfect title for your autobio, Mrs. Obama!"

  • Matrix||

    The reporter gets bonus points for using "butt-chugging." lols all around.

    Anyway, exactly how much fluid can a tampon hold? I don't see how it would be enough to get someone shit-faced. Surely it can't hold more than 2 shots, which would barely even give teens a buzz.

  • ||

    I could swear I've seen a commercial where a tampon soaked up a whole glass of blue liquid, but I might be thinking of a paper towel or maxipad commercial instead. Besides which, Nondescript Blue Liquid probably has different diffusion properties than booze.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Besides, the whole point of a tampon is that the liquid stays in the tampon. But that's a bit beyond the reasoning capacity of your typical network reporter.

  • Matrix||

    Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. Tampons aren't designed to release the liquids they absorbed, so how exactly would they get that liquid out if not by squeezing the tampon, which is not really designed for such... and then the leakage of the liquid.

    Besides, wouldn't the alcohol intensely irritate them?

  • ||

    the liquid stays in the tampon

    wouldn't there be some osmotic imbalance that would allow alcohol to diffuse out of the tampon into the tissues in exchange for body fluids?

  • Veteran Newscaster||

    Son, I've been in this business for a long time, and let me tell you - you're going to do great things here. Great things.

  • Warty||

    Girls, wouldn't this sting a lot? I doubt those mucus membranes would appreciate being soaked in alcohol for a long time.

  • Joe M||

    Duh! You water it down, just like in the strip clubs.

  • Fatty Bolger||

    Ah. That would explain the wet pants after a lap dance. Thanks for clearing that up!

  • Bobarian||

    I find peppermint schnapps leave a minty fresh odor...

    and burning,

    and rectal bleeding

  • Warty||

    From Radley

    But, in the interest of science, I then ran one of the tampons against the mucous membrane on the inside of my mouth. It was both very cold and burned, which, I imagine, would be a most unpleasant feeling as whoever was aiding you in the administration of vodka-soaked tampons shoved the limp, soggy, shape-changing, burning, and yet very cold thing inside you, or attempted to. I’m honestly not sure the incredibly cold feeling might not cause some uncontrollable clenching which would then make the insertion or removal of the tampon something of a nightmare.
  • ||

    That's Science with a capital motherfucking S!

  • Q-Tip Corporation||

    How do I get in on this?

  • JoJo Zeke||

    in the interest of science, I then ran one of the tampons against the mucous membrane on the inside of my mouth

    Whatever you need to tell yourself in order to sleep at night, Radley.

  • ¢||

    At the very least you could pour it in the hole and then put a fresh, dry tampon in behind it to prevent leakage.

    Unless the vagina in question is more absorbent than a wad of cotton, that's just the fancy way of making a vodka-soaked tampon.

    Which you can then pack in your ass.

    And nothing else happens.

  • Andrew Sullivan||

    Which you can then pack in your ass.

    And nothing else happens.

    Like lobbing a Vienna Mini-Sausage into the middle of the lobby of the Hotel Monaco.

    Darn it.

  • Rich||

    "teenagers utilizing tampons, soak them in vodka first before using them"

    Much too long a term. How about "the KEGel exercise"?

  • RedDragon6009||

    Forgive my ignorance (I am just a man after all), but how does one insert a pre-soaked tampon in the first place? I too am picturing the old commercials where a tampon is used to soak up a glass full of windex-like liquid and swelling up immensely. Squeezing something like that into any orifice is likely to get more vodka on your floor than in your hole. Someone please explain this to me before I make a mess at home experimenting and my wife leaves me for someone less idiotic.

  • Kristen||

    Your wife will leave you for wasting her tampons like that - them things ain't cheap!

  • GroundTruth||

    Damn, I needed a good laugh! The comments were better than the article! Good going folks!

  • ||

    The REAL menace is jenkem-soaked tampons, followed by a Sprite-and-Robitussin chaser. Kids these days.

  • ||

    FFFFFFF that...bath salts & purple drank...BIATCHES!

  • ||

    maybe the kids have read their ancient history...the romans did wine enemas.

  • Beavis||

    Butthead and me just did tequila shots in our eyes. It isn't bad, except for the salt and lime. Those really burn like hell.

    Cornholio!

  • Chloe||

    Never seen a butt-chugger in the ER before, but have seen some creative ways to use tampons.

  • GILMORE||

    ....vodka-soaked tampons and butt chugging:

    "This is not isolated to any school, any city, any financial area," Officer Chris Thomas, a school resource officer, said. "This is everywhere."...

    ...
    Sugarfree?...
    Did you invent this? This strikes me as someting plageurized from your as-yet-unwritten novel.

  • ||

    Sadly, no. It is a urban myth revival of the very real practice of brandy enemas in the late-1800s. Which is quite easy to give yourself alcohol poisoning while performing.

    Coffee enemas are still popular among the fringes of the high colonic obsessed demographic. Of course, getting a high colonic is just medicalized ass-play to begin with...

  • GILMORE||

    "High"-colonic?

    Is that ass-bong-hits?

    I keep thinking of Led Zepplin's, In Through the Out Door when this topic comes up. I suspect there was something similar involved in the origination of the title.

  • JoJo Zeke||

    (Hank Venture is rooting through Brock Samson's tape collection)

    HANK: What's this one?

    BROCK: "In Through The Out Door".

    HANK: Can I put it on?

    BROCK: Rather you didn't. Zep sold out on that one. Besides...I've got memories attached to that record. Can we drop this, please?

    HANK: Is it because you killed a bunch of ninjas while it was playing, and so it reminds you of ninjas?

    BROCK (sighing): No, Hank...

    HANK: How about frogmen? Does it remind you of frogmen?

  • .||

    Why bother with tampons? Just use the bottle. That way they can get off and drunk at the same time. :-)

  • Bill||

    Because your pants won't fit right with a bottle sticking out of your ass, silly!

  • Ryan Seacrest||

    Tell me about it!

  • ||

    i personally know a guy in my fraternity in college who did a everclear enema. and yes, he got fucked up

    so, i know SOMEBODY does this shit.

    i certainly don't think it's common

  • Rex O'Berallus||

    Hey, think I know that guy too!

    He lit his farts afterwards, well one anyway, amiright?

  • ||

    no. my fraternity members were much too mature for that kind of stuff

  • ||

    also, if you check ANY drug forum (erowid.org is a great source) rectal drug administration is a common mode of drug use

    the street term is "plugging"

    it's popular with oxycodone, various opiates, etc.

    depending on the drug, bioavailability etc. is often much better than swallowing pills, etc.

    there are numerous ways to get drugs into your system

    such as

    1) swallowing
    2) buccal (cheek)
    3) sublingual
    4) smoking
    5) insufflating (inhaling - usually after pill is crushed into powder or added to nasal sprays)
    6) skin popping (subcutaneous needle)
    7) intramuscular
    8) intravenous

    some methods get the drug into the system faster and/or skip first pass liver metabolism.

    again, it depends on the drug, but some drugs are minimally orally bioavailable and others are very orally bioavailable

    GENERALLY speaking, the less orally bioavailable the drug and/or the extent to which it is affected by first pass liver metabolism, the more incentive people have to take it via other routes

    heroin , for example is minimally orally bioavailable. that's why almost nobody EATS heroin

    contrast with oxycodone, which is highly orally bioavailable.

  • ||

    the street term is "plugging"

    Or "colon rollin'" if you're using ecstasy. :)

  • Hairy Plopper||

    Crack can not be snorted or eaten. I think you can shoot it with lemon juice, but I never tried it. Shooting powder was always good enough for me.

  • GILMORE||

    You know, I'm a supporter of experimental self-medication by responsible adults, but I draw the line at stuffing things up my ass, bioavailability be damned. I mean, goddamn son. Just smoke some fucking crack. Have some dignity for god's sake.

    And I thought the street term was "parachuting", but then again, I don't really roll in Ass-Ingestion circles. Warty? I'm sure he'll know.

  • PhreakoPhonics||

    Look, dunphy, not everything you read on the internet is true, see? Not every degenerate drug user uses up the ass, see? In fact I have done my fair share of drugs, see, copper, and I have almost never stuffed them up my ass, see?

  • ||

    "Some teen-age Finnish girls are experimenting with tampons dipped in vodka as a way of getting tipsy without parents detecting boozy breath, an anti-drinking group said yesterday."

    I always thought the smell of alcohol on a person's breath originates in the lungs; that it's actually being exhaled in vaporous form. Either way, cramming an alcohol-soaked cotton plug into your snatch is probably a great way to disrupt the natural flora in there. In other words, you better have some Diflucan handy if you're going to try this.handy

  • ||

    http://blog.sandiegodrunkdrivi.....ornia.html

    http://docs.google.com/viewer?.....20Officers'%20Detection%20of%20Breath%20Odors%20from%20Alcohol%20Ing.pdf+alcohol+smell+breath+congener&hl=en&gl=us&pid=bl&srcid=ADGEESgLgR6cXQp4P7vdPCdJKYnryXGmZtxQXtI9elLhGHB3skRr_XDWdki4MlILraARqgDXyAgy3a7PmlHuIvVfdDpkSyMBXUvsAahmrnuaTmXW5O19iQCtFbOWGtgK17skm1nhfpnc&sig=AHIEtbTGWuuP8kkN-nyle8dZdhBP-LgvBA

  • ||

    Neither of those links seem to be working . . . can you give me the gist? Also, your thoughts on whether a vodka douche could cause a yeast infection. Thanks!

  • Contrarian P||

    A small amount of the alcohol that is circulating around in the body is excreted through exhalation as a vapor. The larger the amount of alcohol in the bloodstream, the more alcohol is breathed out. That's why a breathalyzer works. Alcohol on the breath has absolutely nothing to do with how it gets into your body, as it comes directly from the bloodstream as the oxygen and carbon dioxide are exchanged in the lungs. The "anti-drinking group" needs to actually know what they are talking about to avoid sounding so damn ignorant.

  • Bloody anus||

    I prefer to get my anus all bloody with some vigorous anal sex without lubricant then insert the vodka soaked tampon. I find the vodka has a more earthy flavor when absorbed this way.

  • ||

    Reminds me of that morning in the dorm room, in my roommate's bed and said, "Christ, was I drunk last night!"

  • Hairy Plopper||

    Nah. That was the Rohypnol.

  • F Hart||

    WTF is wrong with these kids today? When I was that age we used to huff model airplane glue and occasionally Toluol.

  • JoJo Zeke||

    You had it lucky. We were so poor in my neighborhood, we all just chased the local fat kid, and then took turns huffing his body odor when he finally wheezed to a full stop.

  • F Hart||

    I guess that's less dangerous than chasing cars to get high on the exhaust fumes. That shit can give you drain bamage.

  • Contrarian P||

    Rectal administration of a substance only partly bypasses the first pass effect of the liver, so I suppose it beats drinking if your sole goal is to get drunk. I'd say it mainly would be useful if you wanted to ingest large quantities of really cheap, bad tasting booze. It'd be really hard to figure out exactly how much you'd be getting, as other posters have pointed out that tampons tend to absorb liquid and aren't exactly designed to release it back out again. Seems like kind of an inefficient way to get drunk, personally, especially when it's easier to get your hands on prescription narcotics which can easily be turned into suppositories at home and have no tell tale odor on the breath. Another non-story which will undoubtedly have Chuck Schummer all over it.

  • Anon||

    After a long day of work I love shoving a large object in my anus to get drunk slightly faster and much more painfully than any other method.

  • ||

    South Park butt-chugging episode coming in three...two...one...

  • OuterSunsetAnthropologist||

    If you are ever stuck out in the middle of the ocean on a deserted island or perhaps a lifeboat waiting for rescue you can survive by taking enemas of saltwater. Your colon will not absorb the salt but will take in the water. At least this is according to a doctor buddy of mine. Don't ask how we got into that conversation.

  • ||

    I used to teach high school in Phoenix. This story sounds completely believable to me.

    Incidentially, getting drunk by enema has been around for centuries. The ancient Maya used to do it. Maybe the modern ones do too.

  • PhreakoPhonics||

    I'm not buying the bit about "avoiding parents smelling alcohol on their breath" for two reasons. Number one, I suspect you will smell of alcohol no matter how you take it in. And number two, my experience with Finnish parents suggests that they aren't all that concerned about what I put in their daughters, if you know what I mean.

  • ||

    Is this a joke? I'm female, and this is something that would create a lot of excruciating pain.

  • Jess||

    DOING THIS WILL MAKE WOMEN INFERTILE

  • ||

    So it works as birth control; all the better...

  • ||

    I insert a vodka-soaked tampon while on my period and then stick a celery stalk up my ass...

  • ||

    Butt Chuggers: great name for a band...

  • mineral process equipment||

    I prefer to get my anus all bloody with some vigorous anal sex without lubricant then insert the vodka soaked tampon. I find the vodka has a more earthy flavor when absorbed this way.

  • Some Guy||

    Clearly someone who was part of a contest to make up the dumbest story to be picked up by the hysteria machine was highly successful.

  • jabster||

    Jenkem redux.

  • Kate||

    Have any of these female reporters ever actually used a tampon? Or drunk alcohol?

  • grinding plant||

    I prefer to get my anus all bloody with some vigorous anal sex without lubricant then insert the vodka soaked tampon. I find the vodka has a more earthy flavor when absorbed this way.

  • sohbet||

    That shit can give you drain bamage.

  • Gradivus||

    I don't believe it. "Vodka tampons" sounds like a made up urban myth. Furthermore,while that might work with the rectum, which is absorptive (drugs are often administered via the rectum), I don't think it would work with the vagina, which isn't. Furthermore, I'm guessing alcohol in either the rectum or the vagina would be quite painful.

    Too many media outlets today just copy whatever "news" they hear from other media outlets, without checking first (except to see if any other media outlets have reported the same thing, which they consider to be "confirmation.")

    I expect it's BS. Regardless of how many of the idiot media have copied it from other idiot media, it doesn't pass the smell test. Doubtless there have been some teenagers who have tried it after reading it as "news," and have learned very quickly why they don't want to try again, but as an ongoing practice? I think not.

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