Reason has cast a gimlet eye on the White House's "We the People" petition site before. (See Peter Suderman's "5,000 Signatures Will Get You a Response From White House Policy Wonks, Unless Your Idea is "Bad" or About Weed") But some enterprising citizens have take the enterprise of questioning the enterprise even further, submitting this petition on the site:
We demand a vapid, condescending, meaningless, politically safe response to this petition.
Since these petitions are ignored apart from an occasional patronizing and inane political statement amounting to nothing more than a condescending pat on the head, we the signers would enjoy having the illusion of success. Since no other outcome to this process seems possible, we demand that the White House immediately assign a junior staffer to compose a tame and vapid response to this petition, and never attempt to take any meaningful action on this or any other issue. We would also like a cookie.
After being hit with questions about UFOs and legalizing weed, the White House has raised the threshold for a guaranteed response to 25,000 e-signatures in 30 days. To date, the petition has 9,228. (Thanks in part to getting some media coverage yesterday.) Go to town, commenters.
Via Jerry Brito's Google+ feed, where he describes the petition as "fatalistic and cynical." I agree. And I would also like a cookie.