Wesley Snipes Has Got Nothing on Romanian Witches

Gawker relates the story of a tax revolt that could only happen in Romania:

The Romanian government is trying to pull the country from recession, and part of the plan is to start taxing witches. In turn, witches are casting spells on the president using dead animals and cat feces. That doesn't sound good.

Today, about a dozen witches are converging on the Danube River to place a hex on the government for the action it took on Saturday, whereby witches are now required to pay 16 percent income tax. One witch told the AP that "evil will befall them." Another witch who is particularly upset, Queen witch Bratara Buzea (pictured), is preparing to cast a spell made up of cat shit and a dead dog: "We do harm to those who harm us. hey want to take the country out of this crisis using us? They should get us out of the crisis because they brought us into it."

The president of Romania, Traian Basescu, is already highly superstitious and wears purple on Thursdays because, by invoking the "violet flame," the president and other government officials believe they are warding off evil spirits and spells.

I wrote (sympathetically!) about Basescu and heart-gobbling witches back in 2005. Link via the Twitter feed of Nathaniel Clarkson.

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  • Brett L||

    If it works, let's hire them to hex the US Congress next.

  • ||

    Remember when witches hexed Congress in 1994?

    They turned the Speaker into a Newt!

  • Cecil||

    But he never got better.

  • Almanian||

    ...beat me to it...

  • ||

    They should turn the gorvernment into pigs. All they produce is pork to begin with.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    That's funny.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    @ MikeP

  • Almanian||

    If those witches REALLY want to fuck with the gummint officials, they should just give them minivans. Their testicles AND their souls will be spirited away to hell.

    That'll learn 'em to raise taxes on witches...

  • sarcasmic||

    That's assuming that government officials have souls and balls.

    You give them too much credit.

  • Mrs Obama||

    He has them-I keep them in my jewelry box.

  • cynical||

    You keep his souls in your jewelry box?

  • Satan||

    Don't be an idiot cynical-he had to sell that sucker to get into the White House

  • Ms. Radoo||

    Never have I so fervently wished I could believe in witchcraft.

  • Mike Laursen||

    You can take solace in that their hexees believe. That's all that really matters.

  • Robert||

    Apparently it's just a reclassification (possibly a clarif'n) of income from witchcraft as regular self-employment income.

  • Wind Rider||

    And it looks like the witches are going along with the plan, diverting 16% of their spellcasting (their marketable commodity) towards the government. . .

  • Ammo Manufacturer||

    Why didn't I ever think of that?

  • ||

    I'm going to send a Hex-a-gram to Senator Baucus.

  • Radu||

    It's really a sad day for this country when the major piece of news of the day on Romania is about witches. I get the novelty item value but still ...

  • Lib||

    You say novelty, we say pop culture.

  • Almanian||

    You say novelty, they say "double, double, toil and trouble, cauldron steams and Barney Rubble."

    Or something.

  • Ska||

    Cockney rhyming slang version?

  • P B||

    I've found throwing dead animals and cat feces is a more effective method.

  • sevo||

    Is that Pelosi off to the right?

  • Old Mexican||

    The Romanian government is trying to pull the country from recession, and part of the plan is to start taxing witches.

    If it weren't so damned funny, it would be tragic...

  • Old Mexican||

    They should try imposing licensing laws on withcraft actvities - that has always worked in the US.

  • Old Mexican||

    Today, about a dozen witches are converging on the Danube River to place a hex on the government for the action it took on Saturday[...]

    Hmmm.... will they do gigs in the US???

  • ||

    Say, we don't tax witches here. I wonder why?

  • Almanian||

    How do you know she is a witch?

  • ||

    WITCHES TASTE BLUE AND SMELL LIKE FOLK ROCK! STUPID ALMANIAN!

  • crazyfish||

    Who cares? BURN HER!

  • ||

    If she says "I am not a witch," she's a witch. Especially if it's in a TV ad.

  • Pip||

    Tangental: There was a Romanian women who rode my bus. She was without a doubt one of the hottest women I have ever encountered. Smart too. But the funny thing was is that when she spoke, her accent and vocal charcteristics made her sound mentally retarded. Odd that.

  • ||

    Win-win.

  • ||

    Yeah, I'm not seeing the problem either. Having your name bellowed in mongoloid-speak mid-coitus is kinda hot. And legal if she's just an otherwise mentally competent immigrant.

  • Pip||

    She really was hot.

  • ||

    You would want to fuck a mongoloid. God, you're perverted.

  • ||

    It's the clubbed-handed flailing that turns me on.

  • ||

    If you could read, you would see that I was advocating having sex with an ersatz retard, not a real one. Most people are put off by notion of having sexual intercourse with a mentally deficient person. Hence your decades-long dry-spell.

  • ||

    Come on now. Words have meaning. Dry-spell implies a beginning and an end.

  • ||

    I apologize for my error.

  • Charlotte Sometimes||

    I transcribe for an oncologist from Romania and he does not sound retarded. However, I do keep waiting for him to say something like, "THREE, three rectal masses, ah-ah-ah!" and hear a crash of thunder. I would really love it if he'd do it just once.

  • crazyfish||

    Now I will think of the count when I think of ass cancer.

  • ||

    Say, we don't tax witches here. I wonder why?

    Like zombies and vampires, they are part of the underground economy.

  • ||

    In turn, witches are casting spells on the president using dead animals and cat feces.

    That sounds rather redundant.

  • ||

    Are there really enough witches in Romania that taxing their income could make a difference? That's a lot of witches.

  • ||

    perhaps if there are enough witches, we could use them in construction projects, like new bridges.

  • ||

    Actually, that's backwards: the current downturn in construction has resulted in a surplus of witches.

  • ||

    Those damned witches are all eat-the-poor Republicans! Protesting against the taxes that keep Romania from becoming Somalia? How dare they!

  • ||

    Well, if we can't use them in a TARP-funded effort to solve a construction crisis, perhaps we can use them to meet our energy needs. After all, what do you burn apart from witches?

  • Anonymous Coward||

    Queen witch Bratara Buzea (pictured), is preparing to cast a spell made up of cat shit and a dead dog: "We do harm to those who harm us.

    Witchcraft is for ugly women and basement dwelling nerds! Rosicrucian Hermeticism is where it's really at!

  • Anonymous||

    The "only happens in Romania" words are to much!
    It's not that I'm Romanian but I think this could happen everywhere else. It's just that because of some reasons that I don't want to talk about, everybody thinks Romania is the "black lamb" of this world or at last of Europe...

  • Anonymous||

    And something else: those are not Romanian witches! Those are gypsies living in Romania... Because the big mistake of our country was to let them do whatever they wanted when we gave them a home...

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