Retail Tolerance, Park Slope/Gowanus Edition

Whole Foods is finally coming to gentrifying Brooklyn. The reaction is as hilarious as you'd expect, as told in this arch yet poignant New York Observer article. Excerpt:

"I have concerns about the politics of the Whole Foods founder," said Mary Crowley on Saturday morning, walking through the Grand Army Plaza farmers' market with her husband. John Mackey, the company's co-founder and CEO, is a self-taught businessman who believes in small government, and he once compared working with unions to living with herpes—"It stops a lot of people from loving you." In August of last year, he wrote an editorial for The Wall Street Journal arguing that the government should not interfere in the health-care business. "He's very conservative," Ms. Crowley continued. "And we have good stores here already, so I don't know if we need another one."

Ms. Crowley's husband, John Denatale, walked over with their tall, long-haired dog. "I think people in the Slope get over things quickly," he said, their dog pushing his snout between his legs.

"I think they'll be upset. I disagree," said Ms. Crowley.

There was a strong wind blowing down Eastern Parkway. "People in Park Slope don't like change," explained Mark Germann, a young attorney standing over his son in a stroller while his wife, Beth Aala, a filmmaker, looked at yogurt drinks in the Ronnybrook Farm Dairy stall.

"Chains or change?" she asked, coming over to secure an extra blanket over their son.

"Change," he said.

"Maybe both," she added.

And I just love this dude:

No bricks [for the new Whole Foods], however, will come from the landmarked Coignet Stone Company, constructed in 1873, on the corner of the Whole Foods lot. The structure will sit just behind the new store.

"I don't know. I just don't want them to tear it down. Do you? Maybe they should. What do you think?" asked artist Dustin Yellin on Sunday afternoon, after a flight back from Art Basel, talking about the Stone Company building. "They should donate it to artists to have a small museum there! I want to build a museum." [...]

Mr. Yellin described Whole Foods as a "weird art installation, a postmodern clusterfuck of like 55 kinds of the same kind of granola and 55 kinds of the same kind of chocolate." He doesn't like grocery shopping very much.

"If it's not going to be a museum, and it's not going to be a park—'cause those are two things that I think enhance communities—then I say to myself, 'Well, a Whole Foods isn't terrible because a strip mall would suck. And Whole Foods isn't terrible, because don't they have good stuff?' I could definitely shop there to cook dinner for my friends. It's not Wal-Mart."

Reason's voluminous Mackey file here, including his participation in 2005 roundtable on "rethinking the social responsibility of business." Short version of our 2009 ReasonTV interview with Mackey below.

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  • Tacos mmm...||

    He doesn't like grocery shopping very much.

    No shit.

  • ||

    Is Mr Yellin's beard natural or does he paste his pubes to his face?

  • Spartacus||

    The real question is, does Justin Yellin huff the fumes from his paints? I'm just asking.

    And another thing...

    "weird art installation, a postmodern clusterfuck of like 55 kinds of the same kind of granola and 55 kinds of the same kind of chocolate."

    I could say something similar about most art museums.

  • Restoras||

    ["People in Park Slope don't like change," explained Mark Germann, a young attorney standing over his son in a stroller while his wife, Beth Aala, a filmmaker, looked at yogurt drinks in the Ronnybrook Farm Dairy stall.]

    This is priceless. Before these morons showed up and, you know, changed the neighborhood, I'm sure the then natives didn't care for change much either. What a self-serving tool.

  • robc||

    People in Park Slope don't like change

    So they are conservatives?

  • ||

    Liberals can be among the most conservative of all.

  • ||

    Don't be ignorant, Park Slope has a long and honorable history of filmmakers looking at yogurt drinks.

  • ||

    "If it's not going to be a museum, and it's not going to be a park—'cause those are two things that I think enhance communities—then I say to myself, 'Well, a Whole Foods isn't terrible because a strip mall would suck. And Whole Foods isn't terrible, because don't they have good stuff?' I could definitely shop there to cook dinner for my friends. It's not Wal-Mart."

    Derp

    derp

    derp.

  • ||

    Shit like that makes me wanna buy a pickup and move with my dog out to the boonies. We'll chase varmints, drink beer, and howl at the moon.

  • Kristen||

    This has been my dream for many years. Unfortunately I can't get out from under my DC-area condo. I blame teh Walmartz, cause that's what they make you do here.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I think once a year you should drive that pickup truck to Park Slope and run over someone. That way you can escape society and still contribute to it.

  • JD||

    If all goes according to plan, I'll be able to do that in about 10 years. Probably in West Texas, where hipsters dare not tread.

  • ||

    How Walmart, which has brought cheaper goods and services to the masses, has become a leading bogeyman for the left is beyond me.

  • ||

    Walmart lacks the kind benevolence that you can ONLY get from having your goods doled out by Big Daddy Gov't.

  • ph||

    It's just a creative way to hide their snobbery.

  • ||

    It's hard not to see it that way. I'm not in love with the shopping experience at Walmart (it's culturally akin to a trip to the DMV), either, but I don't begrudge people the opportunity to purchase discounted products.

  • Juice||

    I moved to DC 3 years ago and I miss Wal Mart (never thought I'd say that).

    It's just because you can buy the most random of items at 1 am on a Wednesday if you need it. If you can think of some random household item there's a 99% chance that Wal Mart sells it cheap. Here in DC you have to hunt for most crap and pay way more for it. Some things you just have to live without, little things.

    Wal Mart made it possible to, when you realize you needed something in the evening, shoot down in 5-10 minutes and go pick it up, total trip ~30 minutes. In DC, forget it.

    Lately, I just use Amazon and wait a week for the random thing I needed.

  • T||

    Ding! I freely admit, the patrons at most of my local Wal-Marts are the lumpy proles. Shopping there always makes me appreciate that I make better life choices, like showering with soap. But so what? As long as the store is clean and I can find stuff, I don't care what the other patrons look like.

  • Ska||

    Yeah, Park Slope combines the following forms of douchebaggery:

    hipster
    yuppy
    new parent
    elitist
    pretentious artist
    progressive

    It can be a real world of hurt if you don't conform to their nonconformist (snicker) views.

  • ||

    As a relatively new parent myself (oldest is 4), I'll object to your portraying new parents as douchebags. Sure, many new parents are douchebags, but they were most likely douchebags before they had kids; their newly-found parenthood just provides them with new outlets to showcase their douchebaggery.

  • ClubMed's 4 year old||

    Trust me, at least my parents are douchebags.

  • GILMORE||

    +100

    You pretty much nail it.

    The horror they will inflict upon the world will be their hyper-coddled kids

  • ||

    I beleive the new parents also fall into one of the other groups mentioned.

  • ||

    Such lengths to avoid saying that you're a Wal-Mart shopper.

    Why? Think it's stupid to get things cheap?

    Or have you absorbed the leftardedness that insists that the fat lady wearing inappropriate clothing and overdue for a shower somehow better if she's stinking up Trader Joe's. 'Cos she's there as often as she's in Wal-mart.

  • Kristen||

    I don't give two craps about the hygene or dietary habits of your average Walmart shopper. I don't shop there (in the store - the web site is perfectly benign) because the place is a fucking zoo at all hours and it takes 4 hours of painful endurance of screeching children and rude "greeters" to buy one fricken package of toilet paper.

  • Tim||

    Look, if you just turn your monocle around the filthy masses will appear to be very far away.

  • ||

    Very well done.

  • ||

    I say. That's a bully solution to my woes. Well done, sir. Well done.

  • wheelock||

    I had to copy that to a txt file...

  • ||

    I think it depends on the Walmart. Growing up in the suburbs, and then going to school in first Indiana and then Colorado, the Walmarts I shopped at were actually quite nice. Now I live on the edge of the city and the Walmart in the collar suburb next to me is a steaming pile of crap. I still go there from time to time but usually prefer the Target as it's simply better run. It's a pretty simple cost-benefit analysis (savings versus inconvenience of dealing with long lines, screaming kids, etc.) and I don't see why we can't just let everybody make that decision for themselves.

  • tote-road||

    You are right. The Bozeman, MT Walmart is full of beautiful people. Walmarts in the decayed ruins of upstate NY cities make you loathe humanity.

  • EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy||

    Three AM.

    Try three AM.

    In the wee hours of the morning the population of Walmart is pretty close to a cross-section of the community because it's everybody who needed something that couldn't wait 'til dawn.

    At one point I shared an aisle with a guy who screamed gated community and an example of the less smelly species of homeless. The yuppie and I had plumbing emergencies to deal with. I don't know what the squeegee guy was looking for.

  • Bucky||

    +1 after spending many hours working in retail you learn to shop differently...
    dinner time, during huge sport events, before 11:00am (except during christmas shopping hours or bonus coupon/early bird hours), after 8:00pm on sundays during christmas shopping hours.
    he he he

  • ||

  • The Progressives||

    When Walmart unionizes and pays everyone a living wage, with a generous pension, then we can have a civil discussion about the evil corporation that is Walmart. All we ask is that the minimum wage for a Walmart employee be raised to $25.00 an hour, and that a handsome pension program be implemented that allows employees to retire with full benefits after 20 years of service, and we insist that you make it impossible to fire bad employees (because we all know that bad employees don't really exist, there is only bad management).

    Oh, and make sure you corporate fucks keep those prices low and the shelves stocked in the stores, you wouldn't want us to suggest that you are fleecing the poor to turn profits. If you can't accomplish these few small improvements then we will be forced to confiscate your stores and run them ourselves, for the people! Fuck the price roll-backs, we will run Team Blue Light Specials 24-7!!!

  • ||

    Exactly. Something for everyone, paid for ex recto.

  • ||

    Team Blue Light Specials 24-7!!!

    That's K-mart. K-mart has the blue light specials. Wal-mart has that smiley-face thing.

    Jus' sayin'

  • Mike Laursen||

    Pretty simple. They are the largest, non-unionized employer in the country.

  • ||

    They make profits. And profits are evil.

  • ||

    Okay, I gots ta know: are they tearing down the stonecutter's building or not? Who teaches the fucking bozos to write?

    Answer- nobody.

  • ||

    From the flow, I was thinking it was either Lawrence Ferlinghetti or James Joyce.

  • Restoras||

    Oh, and another thing, does the idiot who wants some dilapidated building converted into an art museam realize that in order for an art museum to thrive it needs patrons? And that those patrons are almost ALWAYS upper-class or upwardly mobile people who like to do things like shop at Whole Foods? Or that for any artist colony to exist at all it also needs patrons to actually buy the art created by said colony? And that those patrons are, again, almost ALWAYS upper-class or upwardly mobile people who have excess disposable income? Who like to do things like, I dunno, shop at Whole Foods?

  • db||

    Mackey will be laughing all the way to the banks after he converts the old building to a successful art museum after establishing the Whole Foods next door. Maybe he'll even hire Yellin to be the receptionist.

  • ||

    Maybe he'll even hire Yellin to be the receptionist coat check girl.

  • Bucky||

    i heard there's an opening for men's room attendant...

  • ||

    If he does this I will buy a hat top and monocle, maybe skats and a white scarf, an unnecessary cane perhaps, just to go there and look down on Yellin.

  • Invisible Finger||

    does the idiot who wants some dilapidated building converted into an art museam realize that in order for an art museum to thrive it needs patrons?

    It doesn't. It needs taxpayers. And rich people.

  • Restoras||

    Ok, I'll give you the taxpayers but rich people are patrons, yes?

  • JD||

    Sell art? That's for capitalist pigs.

    Real artists live off NEA grants.

  • Kristen||

    The hipsters! ARGH!! They eez keeling me!

  • ||

    I really did find the hipness suffocating.

  • Bucky||

    i just pictured a blue hand sticking out from under a newly dropped in place Whole Foods...

  • ||

    Your imagery lacks any references to the hipster fashion, but otherwise close to perfect.

    "When the dust cleared, all I could see of the Dippy Hipster of the East was a lone hand cuffed in corduroy, which proceeded to roll up and disappear."

  • sounds real good||

    Chains or change?

  • Ben||

    This article makes it necessary to bring up my favorite word that I learned from these very comments sections at Reason.

    Urban Doucheoisie

  • Kristen||

    Urban Doucheoisie

    Love it! I hadn't heard that one before, so thanks for the repeat!

  • waffles||

    I hate how hipsters have ruined irony by reducing it to sarcasm. If you read the above comment as sarcasm, it's uberdouche. These people, they think they are all so culturally aware, but they are ruining communication. Ah, tragically hip.

  • waffles||

    but of course Kristen is sincere. Sincerity will be the new irony. Mark my words.

  • Kristen||

    I'm so sincere I'm on Cafe Press right now trying to figure out a decent t-shirt design for this phrase!

  • ||

    It's got to have a retro font. And it desperately needs to be a ringer T.

  • hmm||

    comic sans font would be the ultimate irony

  • sounds real good||

    Comic sans is good. They hate that.

  • ||

    How about using an apple font?

  • Kristen||

    Apple font or bubble letters. I could go either way.

  • ||

  • ||

    How do you know this stuff? Are you a borg of some sort?

  • hmm||

    Sugar substitute is not human. He took the mauve pill.

  • Tim||

    Let's see if I can remember how to spell this:

    Serquedry!

  • Citizen Nothing||

    The line between reality and parody has become very thin, indeed.

  • ||

    I think it's only about an atom thick at this point. And not one of those big, fancy atoms either. More like Argon, or perhaps Beryllium.

  • Zeb||

    One day there will be nothing but parks and museums and then everyone will be happy.

  • Montani Semper Liberi||

    Why is she refered to as 'Ms. Crowley' when she is married? Is this some new feminist thing that I'm not aware of? Is the letter r in Mrs. a sign of male oppression or something like that?

  • Joe M||

    Notice both the wives have different last names from their husbands.

  • Kristen||

    And? I would never change my name just because I signed on for a legal and economic partnership with a man. Not to mention my last name is fucking awesome.

    You people need to stop ascribing any little tiny change to some kind of secret feminist agenda.

  • Joe M||

    Isn't the entire point of a missus, by definition, that the woman takes her husband's last name? You can't be the missus of yourself.

  • ||

    So, you're against people marrying themselves? You filthy bigot.

  • Kristen||

    IMO, the entire point of marriage is a legal and financial partnership. I can't figure out what last names or prefixes have to do with that.

  • Tim||

    That's some hot talk. More!

  • Joe M||

    What I'm saying is calling yourself Mrs. with your own last name makes no sense, because missus literally means wife, hence, Mrs. Smith = wife of Smith. Ms. Crowley couldn't call herself Mrs. Crowley, because that would mean wife of Crowley. She could only be Mrs. Denatale.

  • Kristen||

    That's why if I were married I'd prefer to remain a "Ms." But I wouldn't get my panties in a wad if someone called me "Mrs.". I probably wouldn't realize they were talking to me, though. I'd literally be looking around for my mother.

  • ||

    What's all this talk about wadded panties?

  • Cr33py Cr4wl3r||

    nooo, don't stop. more plees.

  • Zeb||

    No, I think it means mistress, as in the woman in charge of the household. That would presumably refer to the wife of the master of the house, regardless of what names they use. But who really cares? Call yourself whatever you want.

  • SFC B||

    When addressing women I always use "Ms." unless they tell me otherwise.

  • Zeb||

    That's where you are wrong. The point of marriage is ownership of women.

  • AlmightyJB||

    The point of marraige is that it makes women want to have sex with you. Just not your wife. Whatever works.

  • ||

    And I bet the children(as if) get cute little hyphens, yes?

    It's a wonder you haven't been snapped up yet. What a catch!

  • sounds real good||

    Yeah, I'd say the same about you.

  • Flex Nasty B.I.G.||

    Isn't the entire point of a missus, by definition, that the woman takes her husband's last name?

    Nope. Maybe in like, 1953. Not anymore.

  • EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy||

    Well, there is the usage "Mrs. Joe Q. Normal" for Sally Pepsquad after she marries Joe. It's kinda archaic now, but you still see it from time to time in formal communication. My take would be that it is applicable even if Sally kept or hyphenated her name, because in this instance the "Mrs." is a marker for "wife of".

    So:
    [Host]: Bob, have you met Mrs. Joe Normal?
    [Bob] I'm sure I'd remember.
    [Host]: Bob, this is Sally Pepsquad-Normal. She has an organic, locavore catering business. Sally, this is Bob Everyman, he tele-manages four sweatshops in outer Mongolia.

  • Flex Nasty B.I.G.||

    Yeah, that's definitely archaic. The vast majority of women I know, would be infuriated to be introduced in a way that makes it sound like they are the property of their husbands. And rightly so, IMHO.

    Seriously, don't do that at a party. Introduce her as Sally Pepsquad, and if it seems relevant, mention that she's married to Joe Normal.

  • EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy||

    The people I know who would use that formulation would also introduce Joe to Sally's friends as "Mr. Sally Pepsquad" (yes, I've heard this usage in casual conversation).

    It serves to establish the social dynamic very concisely.

    The emphasis on implications of "ownership" was very popular with first generation feminists, and I won't dispute the relevance of it. But those folks won their battle. We live in a world almost wholly transformed by the success of the early feminists.

  • Steve||

    I have a secret desire to host a party and introduce Hillary as "Mrs. Bill Clinton," just to P#@@ her off.

  • Spartacus||

    I took this to mean that the "Ms." was due to the fact that everyone kept their last names. It strikes me as kind of odd (although i don't know why) to refer to a wife as "Mrs." when she keeps her last name. "Ms." just seems more appropriate in that case.

  • Joe M||

    Thank you! That's my whole point.

  • sounds real good||

    Right. Wouldn't make sense to ID her as "Mrs." when she doesn't share a surname with her husband.

  • Kristen||

    You're obviously not a woman and don't have many female acquaintences. I wouldn't want to be addressed as "Mrs." because it sounds antiquated and just plain old. It literally has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with wanting to seem younger and "when you call me Mrs., I look to see if my mom is in he room". I don't like to be addressed as "Miss" - I'm 38 fucking years old. If I were married, I'd still want to be called "Ms."

    Language changes & evolves.

  • Wesley||

    Just move to the South, where we pronounce Mrs. and Ms. as Miss.

  • Citizen Nothing||

    This. My first wife changes her name every time she get married. My current wife kept her own name and goes by "Ms".
    I thought, "Awesome! You go, girl!" I hope our daughter chooses to do the same. And I've been married to this one longer than the first and have no plans to ever make a change again.
    (I don't know how to make the "no scarcasm" tag, but it's not.)

  • I prefer Madam||

    Connotations:

    Miss = spinster
    Mrs. = old crone
    Ms. = midlife crisis

  • ||

    I'm going to tell you a true story. You may choose to believe or not believe it.

    We had a student worker who was getting married. She didn't want to take her husband's name... too patriarchal. But she didn't want to keep her abusive father's name. And her mother's maiden name was the same as her soon-to-be huisband's. So she searched for a last name to adopt at marriage to throw off the shackles of the patriarchy! And she did this by taking the last name "Kissack." Yes. "Kiss Sack."

    I have laughed about this for five years now.

  • ||

    "Kissack." Yes. "Kiss Sack."

    Eh, coulda been more like "Kiss? Ack! Get your patriarchial lips out of my face!"

  • ||

    Nope. She always pronounced it "Kiss Sack." She was fairly all right in the head, too. Some spasm of madness.

  • ||

    Maybe she was just assigning a last name based on an occupation or task if you will, like how surnames originated in the Old World. Good for her on several levels.

  • ||

    The superintendent at the school where I grew up was Dr. Don Dyck and his wife's name was Anita and she took his last name. She was happy to be Mrs. Anita Dyck.

    And my dentist's name was Tim Tschantz (pronounced "chance"), who also had a wife named Anita.

    Bravery comes in many forms, people.

  • ||

    Oops. It was Dr. Tim Tschanz and Dr. Don Dyck for you distrusting souls.

  • BakedPenguin||

    Another true story - I wouldn't make this up, because it would just be stupid as a joke.

    Often, eastern Asians will take on a Western first name to help fit in with American culture. While working in insurance, I was helping out in the claims department after a hailstorm. The guy I was working with came across a claim from a guy who had taken the name Donald.

    His last name was Duk.

  • Bucky||

    my brother knew a girl in high school with the name Amber Hamburger. i hope she married AND changed her name.

  • ||

    My wife changed her last named when we got married simply because mine doesn't need to be repeated or spelled every time it's given.

  • robc||

    A friend of mine had an eastern european name that began with a silent H. Needless to say, no one could spell it. When she got married, she changed names, taking her husband's multisyllabic german last name, because it was easier (it is, but it freaks people out to).

    I encouraged hyphenation, for the lols.

  • Spoonman.||

    My wife traded her Polish last name for my simple Scottish one.

    And her father's a dick.

  • ||

    When we got divorced, I had my lawyer put in the decree that my ex-wife had to change her name back from mine to her maiden name. She was happy with it until she realized how much of a pain in the ass it was to change her registration with every government agency that is out there, not to mention banks, credit card companies, everything. She told me once it probably wasted at least a month of her life getting that done and cost her several hundred dollars.

    I would suggest this course of action for any man that gets divorced and the woman took your name. For the lulz, take her back in a month for not following the court order. The judge will give her 30 days to comply or find her in contempt. This works best if she has a trip planned to celebrate her "freedom." At least it did for me.

  • JD||

    You're an evil man.

  • ||

    You're still going to get called "ma'am."

    My wife didn't change her name and I frankly didn't care one way or the other. It's more a a pain in the ass than anything, since people address her with my name and others that she contacted first, call me with her last name.

    When my kids were born, that caused all sorts of confusion, since they have my last name. You'd think with all the women around here with 3 kids from 3 different fathers, the hospitals would be used to that by now.

  • ||

    You'd think with all the women around here with 3 kids from 3 different fathers, the hospitals would be used to that by now.

    Ah, but that's the root of the problem. The billing systems REQUIRE that you fill out all the fields, so NOT having 3 babydaddies really fucks with the system.

  • ||

    My wife straight up refused to take my last name. She asked me if I was "OK with that," and I told her I wasn't. So now when someone calls me "Mr. [her last name]" I fucking torture her over it.

    I'm fine making her live with the consequences of her little feminist snit.

  • T||

    Mine hyphenated, but over time has gradually dropped the usage except for paperwork.

    She's also been getting "ma'am" a lot longer than I've been getting "sir". I don't give off grown-up adult vibes, apparently.

  • ||

    To hyphenate our last names would have been a linguistic disaster.

  • ||

    She took my last name, because I asked her to do me that honor. She was flattered that I'd put it to her that way.

    Now she sports the unpronounceable, psychosis inducing horror that is the last name of the blind, mad, idiot god of Chaos who resides at the Center of All Things. And she kicks those damned pipers into silence every once in a while too. All is good.

  • Montani Semper Liberi||

    Suprisingly, I'm married, but I was not aware of this trend. I guess we are just old fashioned out here in the sticks.

  • ||

    Just curious -- what are your thoughts on how a group of women should be addressed? The only choices seem to be the overly-formal "ladies" and the technically-incorrect "guys". "Would you ladies/guys like to join me for lunch?"

    Which one works better? Is there a third alternative? And don't even think about asking me to say "y'all".

  • ||

    Most women don't seem too offended by "gals" yet.

  • ||

    Yeah, I guess. That one sounds antiquated to me for some reason. Maybe I'll just go with "bitches", I'm sure that would go over well in most situations.

  • ||

    I pretty much stick with "ladies," but then this is The South(ish).

  • ||

    Hah, I'm a fairly recent transplant from Upstate NY to Central NC. I can't make myself embrace the local lexicon.

  • sounds real good||

    You could try "you all" rather than "y'all."

    When I was young and waiting tables for a living, I worked days at a posh private club for ladies, and nights at a night club. On a few occasions, I mixed up my language and addressed groups of females at the night club as "ladies." I got scornful looks for that. I think "bitches" would have been more appropriate for them.

  • ||

    Most of the women I know are pretty un-offendable by stuff like this, but they'd have to be to hang out with a deceptively primitive, antipodean neanderthal such as myself.

  • cynical||

    I say "tricks", but YMMV

  • Polynikes||

    I find that "wenches" works quite well.

  • ||

    For a group, it's "all y'all."

  • T||

    For a group of women, isn't it "all y'all bitches"? That's what I use.

  • Kristen||

    I say "chicks" or "y'all" (they will KILL me for that when I move back to VT. Vermont Gun Owner can verify this).

  • sounds real good||

    "Chicks" sounds pretty retro to me. I'm from the south, so I'm justified in using "y'all," and I'm glad of that. It's quick and there are no gender issues. It's perfectly sensible IMO.

  • Turdtastic||

    Cunts, Ho's, or Skanks works fine.

  • Spoonman.||

    I say "y'all", but I'm from Texas.

  • Old Man with Candy||

    You're obviously not a woman and don't have many female acquaintences.

    H&R commenter. Res ipsa loquitur.

  • ||

    I don't like to be referred to as "Mrs" because it make me seem old. And I don't want to be referred to as "Miss" because it makes me seem young.

    We men walk a fine line every day. Emasculation lurks at the end of every (seemingly) innocuous phrase.

  • Steve||

    I wouldn't want to be addressed as "Mrs." because it sounds antiquated and just plain old.

    Yes m'am. :)

  • ||

    She's probably tired of Ozzy references..

  • ||

    Well, the whole point of "Ms" is to have a female counterpart of "Mr," which is used for both married and unmarried men.

  • ||

    Even accepting that 'Ms.' was shoved down our throats by shrieking harpies, I'm fine with using it as a salutation.

    In a business setting, it's of great utility, since you don't have to divine marital status before corresponding with a woman of limited acquaintance.

  • sounds real good||

    Yes. It makes sense in contemporary society.

  • Zeb||

    I hate Ms. It looks like an abbreviation, but what word does it stand for? Miz? Mizz? That doesn't seem right.

  • sounds real good||

    Good point. I still think it works though.

  • Upgrayyed||

    Because she fooled all the people with magic and waited on Satan' call.

  • Colin||

    I love how liberals describe anyone who doesn't agree with them in toto as "very conservative."

    The Koch brothers are another good example. They're against war, torture, detentions, domestic spying, drug laws, police brutality; and are for gay rights and immigration. And still the left would have you believe these guys are Dick Cheney incarnate.

  • ||

    Yep, because if you want a balanced budget clearly you must be some racist waterboarding homophobe.

  • Restoras||

    Balanced budget = fiscal nazi.

    Oh yeah. I went there.

  • #||

    "I love how liberals describe anyone who doesn't agree with them in toto as "very conservative.""

    I think this is more nuanced than that. In the end, despite how liberals appear upset on those other things at times like detention, war, etc, the essence of being a liberl is ultimitally about materialistic things. You become a liberal because you see the owrld as unfair in the distribution of wealth, and being that you could materialistic things as what has the most value, that is important. Things liek freedom or civil liberties are of second import to a materialist.

    So it doesnt matter if you are like the koch borthers with all those other things that should make you liked by lefties - ultimitally what is important to a liberal is socialist-light wealth redistriibution, because its "fair"

  • ||

    Yuor speling sukz, but vary airudite nun the less. Mie complementz!

  • ||

    That's because their agenda is primarily economic.

    Civil liberties are sideshow window dressing.

    Havn't they made that abundantly clear the past couple years?

    For instance which issue got higher priority from the Democrats?
    A) Health care reform, B) Closing Guantanamo

  • ||

    It takes an urban hipster filmmaker to shun Whole Foods in favor of limp, dirty, bug-infested collard greens.

    Authenticity don't come cheap, neither.

  • Old Mexican||

    There was a strong wind blowing down Eastern Parkway. "People in Park Slope don't like change," explained Mark Germann, a young attorney standing over his son in a stroller while his wife, Beth Aala, a filmmaker, looked at yogurt drinks in the Ronnybrook Farm Dairy stall.

    I feel ill....

    "Chains or change?" she asked, coming over to secure an extra blanket over their son.

    I'm about to blow chunks here . . .

    "Change," he said.

    "Maybe both," she added.

    BARF!!

    Does anybody read the New York Observer, anymore? This drivel is dreadful! Drives you nuts!

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    Yeah, the chains/change thing, was that supposed to be some kind of joke? Did Beth Aala, a filmmaker, think she was being clever or something? What the fuck?

  • ||

    Funny. I could actually hear this being read in one of those NPR voices in my head. I could even hear the ambient noises they use in their stories. Wind rustles through fallen leaves. Murmuring and muffled laughter in background between segments.

    Ha! It just hit you all as well.

  • cynical||

    Chains as in Harbucks, not as in slavery. It was mildly amusing as a play on words.

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    Oh. Hmm. Still not funny, though. Smacks of "look how subtly clever I am" way too hard.

  • sounds real good||

    It was gross. Extremely self-conscious on her part. It reminded me of some the excruciating things I said myself in a short video some friends and I made when I was in college. I'm so happy to have grown out of that level of self-consciousness.

  • ||

    my last name is fucking awesome.

    Mangler?

  • ||

    Are these twits sure they believe in choice?

  • ||

    Choice is okay...when exercised by people who live long-long-ago and far-far-away. Personally, I find all this choice confusing, and I'm also concerned about the dangers these choices, in the hands of unqualified decision making individuals, might represent to , not just my children, but to children all across the surface of Gaia.

  • JD||

    Reproductive choice is the only politically correct form of choice.

  • Cr33py Cr4wl3r||

    i chuz the big peecez !

  • Spiny Norman||

    ... 55 kinds of the same kind of granola...

    How many kinds of one kind of thing can you have?

  • sounds real good||

    I sure did wonder about this too.

  • ||

    Epic Thread Flashback: The Hipster PSA

    A lone hipster wanders in vain looking for a discarded heroin needle in Tompkins Square Park. The camera pans up to follow a single tear when he can't find one. A homeless guy gets out a cellphone and offers to call his domestic partner for him.
  • ||

    It looks weird being all linear-ly and stuff.

  • Barely Suppressed Rage||

    Wait, there are left-wing, anti-capitalist douchebags in New York City?

    Fucking A, how come I'm always the last to find these things out?

  • Kristen||

    I cackled in glee when all those pseudo-socialist white urban hipsters found out their supposed bastion of corporate hippie-ness was run by a libertarian. I'm telling you - they were all truly shocked that anyone selling organic meats and dairy was not on "their team". It was mighty delicious.

  • ||

    Did Beth Aala, a filmmaker, think she was being clever or something?

    Throw off the chains of consumerism, America!

    Free yourself from the petty bonds of economic efficiency. Break some windows, dammit.

  • ||

    As a relatively new parent myself (oldest is 4), I'll object to your portraying new parents as douchebags.

    If your baby stroller cost more than my car, you're a douchebag.

  • hmm||

    That's a little class warfarish.

    Just sayin'

  • ||

    That's my point exactly. I know exactly the type of people Ska had in mind, and I completely agree that they're douchebags. However, I guarantee you those people were douchebags long before they had kids.

  • ||

    If you bring your baby to a bar, you're a douchebag.

  • ||

    What about a brewpub?

  • ||

    Bringing an infant anywhere that has non-molded seating is questionable.

    I don't see what's so objectionable about having child-free spaces.

  • ||

    I don't see what's so objectionable about having child-free spaces.

    Some of us grew up in the 70s when the me generation decided they hated children.

    You can go fuck yourself sugarfree.

  • ||

    What are you even bitching about?

    You think a newborn in a bar is a good thing?

  • ||

    Even more of a dbag. I go to the pub for to relax with beer and adult company. Bringing a baby there is inexcusable and selfish in the extreme.

  • ||

    db... a brewpup in American is more of a "restaurant that serves decent beer" than a "bar" which generally means "no one under 21 is allowed in and it might serve a little food."

    I've been to plenty of Brooklyn bars with a pube-bearded d-bags rocking a stroller with their foot and glaring at people when cigarette smoke comes in when someone holds the front door open too long. These people should be shot. Out of a cannon. At the moon.

  • ||

    *brewpub* My eyes are going, I think.

  • ||

    Ah OK, I was thinking more pub that brews its own beer or is a microbrewery's flagship pub. (i.e. serious beer drinking places). You're thinking somewhere like Jupiter's in Berkeley then. I'd still glare the fuck out of anyone with a crying baby. :)

  • ||

    What if junior is throwing them back with the rest of the boys? Infants and toddlers tend to be less cranky after some whiskey.

  • wingnutx||

    Nothing worse than a toddler that wants to fight the entire bar after a few shots of tequila.

  • ||

    "Brewpub" can mean both of those things as well, as long as the "sit-down" restaurant part remains. The American social alcohol experience is often defined by the presence and quantity of food served. It's weird.

    Look at us, all fostering international understanding and sheeit.

  • ||

    Dude, I'm totally linking to this thread in my CV when I apply to the IAEA.

  • ||

    The American social alcohol experience is often defined by the presence and quantity of food served. It's weird.

    Whereas the rest of the world just assumes there's going to be some decent snackables when the hooch comes out?

  • ||

    wylie, I was thinking more about liquor licensing being dependent on percentage of sales in food in many places. Restaurants often breeze through the process, but a pure bar is often very difficult to get a licence for in many parts of the country.

  • ||

    then, if i may, "The American political alcohol experience ...", ftfy.

  • ||

    See, here's my thing... Brewpubs (at least the ones by me) have both a bar side and a restaurant side. I wouldn't bring my kids to the bar side, but I do bring them to the restaurant side just like any other restaurant. And if they start to cry or misbehave, I take them outside, just like I do at any other restaurant, no matter how "kid-friendly" they market themselves.

  • ||

    Sounds fine dude. You are an example for others to emulate.

    Man, that probably doesn't sound sincere but it is!

  • ||

    I guess my frustration stems from the fact that I totally understand why people don't want parents with kids around... most of them have little to no control over their kids and little to no consideration for the people around them. However, as somebody who really does work hard to make sure my kids don't inconvenience others (and, as a result, I think my kids are much more well-behaved in public than parents who only let their kids eat in public at McDonald's), it's annoying to get lumped in with the inconsiderate ones. But again, I totally understand the reaction. I guess it just makes me that much more pissed off at the parents who think their kid is the most precious in the whole world and when they throw silverware across the room everyone else should laugh at how cute they are.

  • ||

    One of the best things about continental europe (compared to the anglophone world), esp. northern europe, is well behaved children. I don't think I saw a single public tantrum etc during my time in Denmark. NZ/UK/Aust/USA all kind of suck for that.

  • Bucky||

    my favorite are times the urchin cause all hell to break loose and then, only then do the parents get involved, going overboard, vocally chiding and explaining "why we don't do ..." like the little animal can be reasoned with...
    Hah, you're supposed to be a parent not a fireman!

  • ||

    I will admit that I find the overindulgent parents far more irritating than the children the vast majority of the time. Can we keep the kids and send the parents out to sit in the car?

  • ||

    The kids will probably actually behave quite well if we did that. Most kids are only assholes when their parents are around because their parents are the only ones that put up with it.

  • ||

    And if they start to cry or misbehave, I take them outside, just like I do at any other restaurant, no matter how "kid-friendly" they market themselves.

    When the spawn start getting uppity when we're out, all I have to do is glare and ask, "Do we need to step outside?" Usually the shenanigans stop there.

    If they only knew how much I enjoy that.

  • robc||

    See my other response. Not sure but IL, but that is the law in IN and KY. Maybe you picked up the habit at Valpo?

  • robc||

    In KY (and IN) you cant take a baby into a bar OR the bar section of a restaurant. Bars/bar sections are 21+ only.

    I saw someone kicked out (okay, forced to sit in the restauranty section) of Brugge Brasserie in Indy because of this. Man/woman/newborn took table in bar section, were forced to move.

  • NoVAHockey||

    The whole point of the bar is so I can get out for an hour without my 18-month old and have a quiet drink

  • Zeb||

    Quiet? I can't remember the last time I went to a bar that was quiet.

  • ||

    If your baby stroller cost more than my car, you're a douchebag.

    The going market for your 84' subaru wagon is about a hundred bucks.

    You douchebag metric really is not a fair one.

  • Jason S.||

    There's plenty of food right there in the vacant lot from the looks of it, I reckon. That's the problem with Capitalism - it wastes resources and builds warehouses on healthy land. This Mackey fellow is an arch zombie from the olden days and he' a community gardenphobe. It's too bad.

  • wingnutx||

  • hmm||

    There's more than one.

    nerdcore warning goes here
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTbwCsjN4Ek

  • ||

    TRAMP BALLS! is my favorite part.

  • wingnutx||

    Mine is, "I organize a vegan crunk night."

  • ||

    Infants and toddlers tend to be less cranky after some whiskey.

    As do we all. As do we all.

  • T||

    Speak for yourself. I've been known to pick a fight with a chair after enough whiskey.

    I usually get my ass kicked tho', so I try to avoid drinking that much.

  • robc||

    I think its why the Irish have such a bad reputation...they fight because their whiskey sucks compared to bourbon.

    Oh, and the liquor fairy is a conniving and mysterious lass, but a blessing none the less. Plus, unlike the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus, she is real.

  • Zeb||

    Now, now. All Whisk(e)y is great.

  • ||

    That's a little class warfarish.

    I didn't say, "Nobody should be ALLOWED to have a baby stroller more expensive than my car" did I?

    I do not want to forbid others from making decisions I disapprove of, I merely want to mercilessly mock them.

  • hmm||

    I couldn't resist. =)

  • hmm||

    Fuckin' hipsters ruined full sleeve tattoos as well. They also took over a ton of good music venues with their douchiness.

    The whole ms, miss, mrs thing mystifies me.

  • ||

    Every tattoo idea that I had been saving for YEARS has now been shat upon by hipsters. I now have to wait another 10 years. Jerks.

  • ||

    I like Ms.

    It's a convenient way of not declaring your marital status to everyone you meet.

    Mrs. and Miss. force you to immediately let it be known if you are available or not.

  • ||

    Way OT, but I have to share this. It's what's written on the box of the R/C Helicopter I bought my son for Christmas and it just got here from Overstock:

    "Gyroscope is used to balance the direction of the flying helicopter. It always can control the helicopter automatically and keep the helicopter flying stably in the air. Also, it can keep the helicopter in the same direction by empennage locking, especially when no order is given from remote controller. Owing to its high sensitivity and automation, this type of microelectronic equipment helps to control the helicopter so much better."

    You gotta love that Chinese marketing lingo. Oh, and on the battery, it says: "Don't touch them high temperature after flew!" I'm sure that meets federal guidelines.

  • Chris||

    I'm so confused, we don't have Whole Foods in Alabama....I thought they were the hipster, cool place to get your groceries?? Why don't these hipsters like it?

  • waffles||

    hipsters don't eat

  • ||

    In all fairness Dustin Yellin's hipster glasses look better then Welch's hipster glasses.

  • Mad Scientist||

    The Koch brothers are another good example. They're against war, torture, detentions, domestic spying, drug laws, police brutality; and are for gay rights and immigration. And still the left would have you believe these guys are Dick Cheney incarnate.

    And why shouldn't they? The left doesn't have any problem with war, torture, detentions, domestic spying, drug laws, or police brutality. Last I checked they were only luke warm on gay rights and immigration as well. The Kochs have money, ipso facto, they're just like Dick Cheney.

  • ||

    The left uses those issues to disguise the reality that their agenda is almost entirely economic.

    It's not that the Koch's are rich, it's that they are directly opposed to the CORE issues that the left cares about.

    I keep trying to get this point across. There is NO MYSTERY at all as to why the left hates libertarians and classifies them as conservatives, once you realize that it's ALL about economic policy. Nothing else really matters. They don't give a shit about civil liberties except to the extent they can be instrumentalized to obtain power.

  • EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy||

    This.

    The erstwhile "liberals" have ceased to care about liberty.

    It's a sad business to me not only because they ought to be allies on a lot of issues but also because I now have to parse "economic liberty" arguments from that camp very carefully to suss out the real objectives they may be concealing.
    much to ask?

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