This Actually Made Me Want to Defend The Winter Games!

I yield to no one in my disdain and outright contempt for the Olympics (even as I semi-obsessively obsess over them). Despite the many ultra-compelling stories they generated (from Jesse Owens to Emil Zatopek to the "Miracle on Ice") the function the Olympics were created to serve—European nationalism and later, Cold War proxy battles—are not good things, in my view. Any organization that would ever allow a true cretin like Avery Brundage—a personal friend of Hitler who later ran the International Olympic Committee and after the murder of Israeli athletes in Munich, immediately took to the stage to bitch about attempts to boot racist Rhodesia from the Games—to run its show has a lot of splaining to do. And the Winter Games, now melting down somewhere in Canada, were always a less-interesting stepchild to the real event, the Summer Games.

Writing in the Orange County Register, libertarian humorist Ron Hart makes a funny case against the Lames. Snippets:

Apparently, some elitist northeasterners decided we needed Winter Olympics so they could get their "fair share" of this pillow fight among unimportant Nordic countries. Maybe if the Winter Games had consequences, they might interest me. For example, if Sweden loses to the U.S., we get to give away the Nobel Prize. If they beat us, they can have Al Gore and Barack Obama.

The bobsled event, which I think was invented by Robert Sled, is also not really a sport. It is more like a winter activity. How can it be a sport when only white guys do it? Is it really a big deal when a guy gets on a sled, points his toes, and lets gravity take over? I am sure there is more to it, but no reasonable person I know wants to take the time to find out.

At least the Summer Games have some underpinnings of real athleticism. Running, jumping, boxing and basketball all seem like worthwhile international competitions, and therefore we field our best athletes. I am going to encourage Tiger Woods to enter the broad jumping event next time.

The last Summer Games had some controversy when the Chinese lip-synced their opening ceremony songs and slipped in under-age female gymnasts. Many liberals were horribly disappointed; if you cannot trust a totalitarian communist regime, whom can you trust?

Whole thing here.

But you know what? Curling is a goddamn great sport to watch, especially when you're subjected to about 15 minutes of it every four years. Can 30 million Canadians, who seem to worship curling as much as hockey, be wrong? Of course they can, as any brief survey of their prime ministers will attest. But it's fun, as is seeing snowboarding great Shaun White do whatever it is he does, etc. And who knew that luge was so dangerous (besides everyone who has tried it, or bobsledding, for that matter)?

None of this should be tax-supported, which it all is, of course, but the same can be said about virtually every major sport in the U.S., where we're all on the hook for stadiums up the ying-yang. More power to the X Games, and all that, but the Winter Lames have their moments.

And a recent post by Crispin Sartwell raises a related point. Sartwell, an occasional Reason contributor and Reason.tv guest, asks

i've been grooving on olympic figure skating. but one thing i don't understand. how come every single man is wearing sequins, in outfits that range from the merely tasteless to the pointedly excruciating? one would think in an activity that has such pronounced elements of art that one would occasionally run across someone with some rudimentary taste, or someone who wanted to manifest some sort of dignity, or someone who wanted you to watch what he was doing and not the way his day-glo epaulettes were shimmering.

now you may well say that this response is homophobic. true, true, and probably you're also not going to find me listening to techno or broadway show tunes, or sobbing about the tragic fate of judy garland. but is every single one of these dudes gay? or are they only playing gay on television? and really it seems possible even for a gay man to appear in public in a way that emphasizes his art.

Whole thing here.

Let me suggest a different theory (and one that doesn't pretend that somehow there's a huge difference in wearing sequined leotards and unsequined ones, as every athlete at the Games does): Every era needs an outlet for glittered costumes for men as well as women. Where that outlet ends up is anyone's guess and it's less related to sexual preference than you might imagine. Male figure skating costumes (along with Mexican wrestling) are essentially where glam-rock and prog-rock outfits went to die.

There is a fixed sum of sequins that must be in use at any given time, or else the universe collapses. And in the interest of ending this post, getting on with the day, and cutting to the last word in prog rock and ice skating, ladies and germs, I offer up a snippet from Rick Wakeman's unfortunate King Arthur on Ice:

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  • Anonymous Backstabber||

    Holy shit that King Arthur on ice is the stupidest shit I've ever seen.

  • Corduroy Rocks||

    Obviously you haven't read the Golden Girls expose that Longtorso has been posting.

  • Suki||

    SugarFree posted that first.

  • John||

    This should probably remain a deep, dark secret but who knows maybe revealing it will be cathartic. I actually own a vinyl copy of this. Bought it when it was released. There, said it.

  • Ska||

    when the Chinese...slipped in under-age female gymnasts.

    Polanski is a Chinaman?

  • Mike||

    Dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

  • Ska||

    Roman Polanski - rug thief.

  • ||

    If they beat us, they can have Al Gore and Barack Obama.

    Goooooooooooooooo Sweden!

  • ||

    Curling is the only event I've watched so far. Too bad we stink on ice at it.

  • Corduroy Rocks||

    I was stoked to watch some curling and the Americans have sucked so bad that they've ruined it for me. I keep waiting for the audience to start chanting "CHOKE CHOKE CHOKE"

  • Suki||

    "Japanese beat American women with stones and brooms."

  • Corduroy Rocks||

    Every middle aged Tokyo corporate drone dreams of that each night

  • Colonel_Angus||

    The U.S. womens curling team has a muscular amazon mountain girl on it. I think I'd rather bang the Danish team who were dressed like the spice girls.

  • ed||

    The only thing I've taken away from the women's curling competition is that the Americans seem to eat well.

  • ||

    If anyone needs evidence of men's athletic superiorty over women need only look at the rocks in the circles.

  • ||

    "i've been grooving on olympic figure skating. but one thing i don't understand. how come every single man is wearing sequins, in outfits that range from the merely tasteless to the pointedly excruciating?"

    Gee I have always wondered that to. It is the same way I wondered how the guy in the sailor suit I saw on DuPont Circle last summer managed to stay in the Navy despite his out of reg hair.

    I like winter games and think Gillespie needs to get the stick out of his ass. Yes, the IOC is a roving band of eurotrash. But, there crimes are not worse than many others. And as long as my city doesn't get sucked into the Olympic vortex, I really don't care if the Canadians want to go broke putting on the games. I like the winter games really better than the summer ones. The winter games have lots of quirky sports like luge and halfpipe that are fun once every four years.

  • ||

    It is the same way I wondered how the guy in the sailor suit I saw on DuPont Circle last summer managed to stay in the Navy despite his out of reg hair.

    You sure it was a real uniform? I'm thinking village people possibilities.

  • ||

    I don't think he was associated with the military services.

  • Suki||

    Good point! John, was there a cop around too? What about an Indian and a phone guy?

  • Solanum||

    Damn. The Jacket is slapping some niggaz down this week. First Olbermann, now this. I'm liking it.

  • Suki||

    Caption for first picture set "I wanted to wear the corset! How does Weir get all the hot outfits?"

  • ||

    libertarian humorist Ron Hart makes a funny case against the Lames.

    So many things wrong with this statement; impressive, in a way.

  • ||

    Yeah that was pretty lame.

  • ||

    Let the moronic festival of sockpuppetry commence!

  • ||

    Wrong, wrong, wrong...

    The Winter Gamers are the awesome, awesomist. ...especially if you love Hockey. There may not be any better hockey anywhere else ever.

    The Russian NHL pros never get to play in front of the people back home, and being great in front of them really seems to matter. Kovalchuk, Malkin and Ovechkin on the same line? Are you kidding me?

    Againt the Canadians? Are you watching the way the Canadians are playing. Crosby, Heatley and Iginla all out there at the same time? Have you seen Canada's second line? They're all playing like it's the most important game of their lives!

    ...and the goons are all gone. Winter Olympics=awesome hockey, people. And as Switzerland and Slovakia proved yesterday, the little guys are still in it. It's hard to think of Sweden as one of the little guys, considering they're the defending champs, so to speak, and they have their share of NHLers, but Russia and Canada aren't looking past them, not for a second...

    Oh, and in case you haven't heard, this Sunday on MSNBC, it's Canada v. the United States, and what a great game that's gonna be! I've always thought of Canada as a peace loving country, but if we beat them at both the World Junior Championships and at the Olympics in the same year, they might declare war.

    Seriously.

  • ||

    Yeah. It is the best hockey tournament in the world bar none. It is insane. Canadians versus US this weekend is going to be epic. It is little brother taking up a different sport from his big brother hoping to kick his ass only to find out the big brother is pretty good at that to.

    Gillespie is a philistine.

  • ||

    Miller Time!

  • ||

    they might declare war.

    Well, that's one way to bring the troops home.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Anything less than maximum levels of violence will disappoint me. Bash their fucking socialist heads!

  • Colonel_Angus||

    This will be our chance to prove that collectivism fails.

  • Tsu Dho Nihm||

    Absolutely. It makes me wish the various leagues and the IIHF would get on the same page. Every league could take a two-week, mid-season break every year for the World Championships.

  • ||

    Have a "champions league" of Hockey.

  • cgee||

    HENRIK! HENRIK! HENRIK!

  • ||

    Curling!?!? Fucking curling???
    That's like making bowling an Olympic "sport". Look, here's the rule. Any game most often played while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes is not a sport. Yeah that's right, I'm looking at you too golf.

  • Suki||

    Is softball the exception?

  • ||

    I think drinking beer and smoking cigarettes adds to any sport. When I was in college, I used to play a lot of tennis. Where I played, there were all of these late 20s and 30s Asian guys who played there every night. None of them looked like they were in very good shape. They always brought beer and always smoked. And they were fucking awesome. You couldn't touch them on the court. It was great.

  • Mad Elf||

    It's still more of a sport than anything that involves judges.

  • affenkopf||

    Phil Taylor disagrees.

  • ||

    Any game most often played while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes is not a sport.

    Way to crush my Olympic aspirations. Thanks man.

  • Russ 2000||

    Any game most often played while drinking beer and smoking cigarettes is not a sport. /i>

    WTF? Games most often played while drinking and smoking are the only games I'm interested in.

  • Russ 2000||

    Feck.

  • ||

    It's cool, I mess up my tags too when i forget to set down my beer while typing.

  • ||

    Gillespie, are you pissed that any country supports the Olympics with tax dollars or that the US does...because we don't, pretty much at all, unless you count security at Games being held here which at least makes a little sense.

    Our athletes have to get support from sponsors, friends and family, and work a couple jobs to train and make it to the Games.

    I think it's a testament to the greatness of privatization. We may be the only country whose government does not support it's athletes yet we dominate at both the Summer and Winter Olympics. Sure, most countries have their wheelhouse of a sport, such as speed skating in the Netherlands or ping pong in China, but the US still has a presence in every sport and often a strong, medal contending presence in most. This, against the strength of the rest of the world's treasuries, is not only impressive, but should be celebrated.

  • Ska||

    Can anyone explain to me how the Koreans are the powerhouse speed skaters? It just seems really weird to me (admittedly I know next to nothing about Korea).

  • ||

    It is like Montana cold in Korea during the winter.

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    Could you have picked a worse way to write that sentence? I had to read it five times before it made sense.

  • ||

    a montana cold
    creeps and creaks in his country
    go, tiny Korean

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    Threadwinner.

  • KWebb||

    Koreans are small, so there is less area for wind resistance. Also, the mountains there would provide an excellent place for summer training on bikes.

  • Brian E||

    I'm pretty sure he's talking about taxes being used to support hosting the games, which is why he compares it to subsidies for other stadium venues.

  • ||

    I'd like a citation then, because I can't find anything that says taxes are used for anything other than security and in Salt Lake City for the 2002 games, Romney was credited with fundraising a fortune for post 9/11 security so even that might be private. I just can't find any evidence online that says taxpayer dollars support the games in any way. If they do, I'll agree with him that it should be financed privately like any other investment.

    But, it wouldn't take away from my enjoyment of the actual sports any more than any other sport.

  • ||

    The last time the United States held a Winter Olympics, athletes slept in a prison and organizers nearly had to declare bankruptcy on a $168 million budget.

    As top officials meet in Switzerland this week to review final plans for an Olympics only two months away, they'll find the accommodations aren't the only thing upgraded since 1980 in Lake Placid, N.Y.

    The Salt Lake City Olympics will be the most expensive Winter Games ever, costing nearly $2 billion -- or $791,667 per athlete -- to stage 17 days of skiing and skating. Nearly $1 of every $5 will be picked up by U.S. taxpayers.

    http://sportsillustrated.cnn.c.....budget_ap/

  • ||

    The security and infrastructure funds should be privately raised. I see what Gillespie despises. But, by that logic, it makes sense to hate leather jackets because the cow was raised on leased federal ranch land. One can separate the bad parts from the whole.

  • ||

    "I think it's a testament to the greatness of privatization. We may be the only country whose government does not support it's athletes yet we dominate at both the Summer and Winter Olympics."

    I think you're right that our private funding model makes for better athletes. We're better at identifying talent and developing it, and it seems to be the Capitalism behind that process that makes the difference. We're efficient too, in that those who aren't really competitive, don't get the funding...

    And if you look at the medal count, it shows. Of course Capitalism makes for better athletes than programs that rely more on funding from the state. Why wouldn't it? Awesome.

  • ||

    We need a Secretary (Minister) of Sports. All the cool countries have them.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Any city that hosts the olympics also sees an increase in all kinds of bullshit like tax hikes, trampling over property rights, and paternalist ordinances to "clean up the city". The olympics are also a wet dream for urban planner scum, aka joe.

  • ||

    I'm still only finding private organizations handling all those things here in American cities that host Games. I have no doubt other countries do this, but as for Games held here, please provide a citation.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Chicago.

    Daley was ready to "guarantee" their bid with tax money. The city government was also fucking around with a private hospital over the land. And I don't doubt there would have been an increase in bullshit fines and pushing around business owners more than usual.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    By the way, the IOC requires the tax guarantee. Which ought to make any U.S. bid pretty much illegal.

  • robc||

    After Atlanta they changed the rules. They were pissed off that Atlanta didnt have/need the guarantees and commercialized everything to pay the bills.

  • ||

    All I found refutes your statement, mostly. I know it's wikipedia, but it is sourced.

    Mayor Daley said on May 10, 2006 that the Olympics "cannot become a financial burden to the taxpayers of Chicago and Illinois."[38] "The goal is to have the Olympics be totally privately funded and we have unparalleled support from the business community," a mayoral spokeswoman said in July 2006.[40] Daley insisted that no tax money would be used to pay for the city to host the 2016 Summer Olympic Games and said funding from the private sector and federal dollars for security and infrastructure would cover the costs. "Tax money isn't paying for it," Daley said on February 7, 2009. "The federal government pays for security, which is the highest cost of the Olympics ... The other thing they pay for is infrastructure ... There's no city tax money whatsoever

    So, the security, which I already mentioned is covered with federal dollars. And the infrastructure which I did not know about is also paid for by the feds. That was news to me.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Those are early statements from Daley. Even though they planned to have everything "privately funded" (meaning connected businesses would get special tax treatment and city contracts), the city government still had to put up the guarantee in case there were overruns. Which was extremely likely to happen. All he could do is promise it wouldn't happen (*gag*) and the spineless aldermen supported it.

    http://www.suntimes.com/sports.....31307.stng

    http://newsblogs.chicagotribun.....plans.html

  • ||

    Well, it is Chicago, so I'll concede the point, although I also read they took out an insurance policy to cover cost overruns. Of course, the insurance policy would also have to be privately supplied to be legit for our discussion, in my opinion.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Chicago and Illinois also have the kind of elitist government that would think its a good idea to use hosting the olympics as an excuse to show the world how progressive they are. It would have absolutely sucked.

  • ||

    Any city that hosts the olympics also sees an increase in all kinds of bullshit

    Up to and including national collapse (Sarajevo, anyone? Hell, Athens, anyone?)

  • -||

    I like it better when you folks are bitter and angry. All this patting capitalism on the back is cringe-worthy and cheesy.

  • ||

    Oh, c'mon. Now, I yield to no man in my disdain for the Olympic broadcasts, but the games themselves, especially the Winter Olympics, are great entertainment (barring, of course the "sports" that involving scoring by judges).

    Short track speed skating? All the skiing events? Biathlon? C'mon, libertarians, they have an Olympic event that involves guns! What's not to love?

  • ||

    Yeah, first you ski and the you shoot! How can that not be fun to watch?

    And I'm not 100% about this, but I think that event has its roots in the Norwegian resistance to Nazi occupation. Being able to ski in quickly, shoot accurately and then ski the hell back out was important, I understand.

    So how 'bout balancing that out with a little anti-Nazi history too, there, Gillespie?

  • Cabeza de Vaca||

    I think this also evolved from the war between Finland & the Soviet Union. Where the Finnish army was able to withstand the red army's superior forces with cross country skis & molotov cocktails.

    http://uralica.com/finnliv.htm

    If they added throwing molotov cocktails to the biathlon. That would make it the best sport in the history of man.

  • robc||

    It would be the winter triathalon then. Which would be awesome.

  • Mad Elf||

    Winter War casualties:

    Finland 70,461
    Soviet Union 397,355

    Continuation War casualties:

    Finland 224,704
    Soviet Union 649,000

    You don't fuck with Finland.

  • ||

    Biathlon

    Does it involve drunk college girls? It's not what I think it is, is it?

  • ||

    Actually, wikipedia gives the origins of the sport as much earlier (as I suspected):

    The sport has its origins in an exercise for Norwegian soldiers, as an alternative training for the military. The world's first known ski club, the Trysil Rifle and Ski Club, was formed in Norway in 1861 to promote national defence at the local level.
  • ||

    Biathalon kicks ass. It is like an Olympic sport for Bond villains.

  • Abdul||

    Shooting is fun. Watching other people shoot? Not so much.

  • ||

    The bobsled event, which I think was invented by Robert Sled, is also not really a sport. It is more like a winter activity. How can it be a sport when only white guys do it?

    Anyone who believes in evolution already knows the answer to this. Black people evolved in a world where they had to outrun tigers* and jump over logs and climb trees and vines if they wanted to survive. White people evolved in a world where survival required sledding downhill at stupid speeds to escape wolves and the abominable snowman. Anti-science people are always stupified at the differences between races.

    *shakes hand in downward motion

  • ||

    Curling is a sport a thousand times over compared to figure skating.

    "Pansy A and Pansy B land the same triple-axle-fluffernutter-braid-twist, but Pansy A did it with so much more artistry."

    And I don't care that they are gay, because gay or straight, they are all effete,... which is far, far more objectionable that a guy having sex with another guy could ever be.

  • Ska||

    I hate being called a homophobe when I try to explain that I will not tolerate faggotry while gay people don't bother me at all.

  • ||

    This is my objection to going to drag shows. I don't want to see women acting like that, what about the fact that it's men is supposed to be entertaining?

  • ||

    Unfortunately, it's a job requirement here to tolerate drag. And it's the one (and only) thing in gay culture I fucking *hate.* Wear all the assless chaps you want, dance in your underwear and cowboy boots under the disco ball until you bleed, hell, hold hands and make out in public (all things I encounter in P-town), I won't care a whit, but for fuck's sake, stop dressing up like real estate agents, making events out of it and expect me to share in the delight.

  • ||

    Real estate agents?

    Personally, I wouldn't buy a house from someone wearing platform shoes and a gigantic wig.

  • ||

    Pretty much takes all of the housing in Florida out of the equation for you then...

  • Colonel_Angus||

    I find the winter version more entertaining than the summer version. Although it pisses me off that they call ice gayness "prime time".

    I always wanted to play biathlon, but I figured some paranoid dickless pussy would call the cops on me or something.

    Anyways, fuck the U.N. of sports.

  • ||

    Me to. I used to have a girl friend who grew up in East Germany. She told me that when she was a kid from like 12 to 18, she had to go to summer and winter camp every year. For two weeks in the summer and again in the winter all the kids would go out and shoot and do paramilitary training. In the winter time they mostly trained in the biathlon. When I heard that, it was the only time in my life I ever wished I had grown up in a communist country.

  • ||

    John, one of the surplus outfits was selling of a bunch of 22 rifles that were produced for some Eastern European youth group. I heard they were very high quality.

    I also bought a couple of air rifles that belonged to a similar group. They look cheap as shit but they are amazingly accurate. I think I paid something like $7.50 for them. I've had some fun shooting them myself but it's kind of tough since they seem to be sized for 8 to 10 year olds.

    But America's the country that has a name for "gun nuts".

  • ||

    They were serious about training to stop the running dog capitalist hoards. I would love to have scored one of those .22s. The .22 is really my favorite rifle to shoot.

  • Colonel_Angus||

    Those biathlon rifles are pretty unusual. I'm not sure exactly how they work.

  • Paul M||

    The Anschütz Fortner rifle action is a straight pull system, the bolt unlocks a set of ball bearings in the first 1/4" of pull of the side lever. The bolt is then allowed to be pulled fully back and eject the cartridge. Finally you push with your thumb on the back of the bolt, which resets the firing ping, loads the next round and finally locks the bolt back in place, There is no rotational action in the bolt.

    Our group runs Summer Biathlon events (a 5k run and shooting) in New Jersey. http://www.njbiathlon.org

  • ||

    To me the athletes of the games are Lindsey Vahn and Shawn White. Vahn for the obvious reasons. And White because the dude is the Wilt Chamberlain of his sport. He is so damned good and compelling he got someone like me who has the soul of an angry 80 year old man to think halfpipe really kicks ass. And on top of that, the kid, being a boarder, is probably stoned during most of his runs.

  • robc||

    Vonn.

    I know your spelling sucks, but come on.

  • ||

    You knew who I was talking about.

  • Brent Spiner||

    DAyta, dahta, whats the difference?

    One is my name, the other is not.

  • robc||

    correcting the quote for maximum accuracy:

    Dr. Kate Pulaski: Dah-ta, look at this.
    Lt. Commander Data: [irritated] Day-ta.
    Dr. Kate Pulaski: What?
    Lt. Commander Data: My name. It is pronounced 'Day-ta'.
    Dr. Kate Pulaski: Oh?
    Lt. Commander Data: You called me "Dah-ta".
    Dr. Kate Pulaski: [laughing] What's the difference?
    Lt. Commander Data: One is my name. The other is not.

  • Slut Bunwalla||

    Data would not have been irritated. He had no emotions at that point.

  • robc||

    imdb says otherwise.

  • robc||

    White because the dude is the Wilt Chamberlain of his sport

    He gets 5 chicks a night? I mean, he probably could, but for some reason I think he is limiting himself to 2 or 3.

  • MJ||

    The big problem with White is that halfpipe is a judging activity*.

    *I follow George Carlin's rules on sports. Any competition that relies on judges for scoring is not a "sport".

  • JD||

    You try jumping off one foot, doing a 1080, landing on one foot, and immediately jumping into another 1080. That said, yeah, the outfits are kind of an embarrassment. Then again, not all of them have sequins and such, but the thing is that nobody remembers the ones that don't, because they don't look like much of a costume: http://www.bestwe
    ekever.tv/bwe/images/2010/02/samuel_contesti_1.jpg

    Also, F Reason's spam filter, which is catching me for no reason that I can tell.

  • JD||

    Had to break that link to allow the post to go through. Nice "spam filter", Reason...MARKET FAILURE!

  • ||

    They may be effete but they are unbelievable athletes. And they are in incredible physical condition to.

  • ||

    It's because you said "1080" twice.

  • Xeones||

    That first pic is a great one of Epi.

  • ||

    I barely recognized him... he usually dresses much more... um... let's go with "flamboyantly."

  • Xeones||

    I barely recognized him.

    It wasn't easy without the sparkly eye makeup or the peacock-feather buttplug.

  • Noddy Holder||

    Every era needs an outlet for glittered costumes for men as well as women.

    Speak for yerself.

  • Grummun||

    the real event, the Summer Games

    Bite your tongue. Basketball? Crap. Track and field? Crap. Base/softball? Crap. The only thing the summer games has going for it is the shooting sports.

    You try jumping off one foot, doing a 1080, landing on one foot, and immediately jumping into another 1080.

    The level of athleticism is impressive, but as a sport, the outcome is too subjective.

  • ||

    Rule of thumb - if the winner is selected by a panel of judges, it isn't a sport.

  • ||

    Like boxing?

  • ||

    I was going to bring up boxing. But to be fair, the judging in boxing is supposed to be based on certain objective criteria such as placement of punches etc. That was pretty much what validated the opinions that the eastern bloc judges were wildly biased. It was obvious to neutral observer that they were just making the point scores up.

    On the other hand it's possible to have some pretty wide divergence of opinion on what a properly executed move or procedure is in figure skating, gymnastics and even diving.

  • ||

    But other than that you raise a good point.

    There are very few KOs in Olympic boxing.

  • Jersey Patriot||

    1. The outcome must be objective.
    2. The outcome must not be pre-determined.
    3. The primary movement must be generated by human locomotion.
    4. The primary movement must require either strong physical exertion or extreme physical dexterity.

    Gymnastics fails 1, pro wrestling fails 2, auto racing fails 3, and checkers fails 4.

  • ||

    What the summer games needs is.... Darts! Worst for spectators best for playing. Someone could actually win Gold while holding a beer and cigarette

  • ||

    I'd love to watch some bloke make the gold winning throw while holding a pint in the other hand and having a gasper hanging out of the corner of his mouth.

  • Maybe||

    I predict the Summer Games equivalent of Curling will be Cornhole.

  • ||

    "Pansy A and Pansy B land the same triple-axle-fluffernutter-braid-twist, but Pansy A did it with so much more artistry."

    And this, ironically, explains the glittery sequined costumes. It's all about trying to cash in on the machismo image of bullfighting -- another "sport" that involves prancing around in sparkly outfits, lots of highly theatrical gesturing, and excerpts from Carmen.

    In other words: "I'm not effeminate -- I'm a fuckin' toreador!"

  • ||

    The bobsled is a white man's sport? What event in the winter olympics isn't a white person's sport? The whole winter olympics is for white people. There is maybe one or two blacks in the winter olympics.

  • oaktownadam||

    The one thing I learned from my sister's brief stint as a figure skater (before taking up hockey) was that glitter and sparkles are NOT OPTIONAL. They are part of the winning formula, and removing them would be like taking the chalk away from the gymnasts.

  • ||

    There's actually a whole new branch of physics dealing with the speed and maneuverability afforded by the proper placement of sequins.

  • ||

    Canuck here, cannot watch curling though is fun to while consuming a dozen barley sandwiches.

  • ||

    Face First women's luge is up tonight.

    They call it "sledding". I call it "Luge a la Charlie Hustle".

    It's like luge, only it's face first.

    Face. First.

  • ||

    I stopped by to pick up a Reason!

    Overheard at a Neil Diamond Concert: do you know how many sequins had to die so he can look that good?

  • Frankyb||

    There is only one thing I'm happy about the Olympics : my province didn't got them.

    Okay that and hockey, I like hockey. ...and seing people get hurt in the snowboarding competitions.

    But wait! The toilets in the ice rink use rain water to flush and the roof is made of used wood! Yeah I know we had to use a few thousands trucks load to get snow on that moutain but it's a greeen olympic!

  • Ted S.||

    Not all of the figure skaters wore sequins. One of them wore blue overalls.

    There's men's doubles luge, but no mixed doubles luge. :-(

  • ||

    There should be a luge event with shooting. I don't see why they couldn't combine ice dancing with shooting either.

    You do your triple sow cow, and then you draw your weapon...

  • MJ||

    Problem is, NBC is putting the hockey tournament on CNBC and MSNBC. Getting very tired of Maddow's and Schultz's smug promos.

  • Ernie the Bear||

    I propose shoving Rachel Maddow up Olbermann's ass sideways, and then launching the resulting smugness-ball out a trebuchet into a shark tank. And there needs to be some fireworks involved, but I haven't figured out exactly how they fit in.

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