The Maurice Bishop Defense

Perhaps you have seen (or, heaven forbid, read) one of those ubiquitous Stieg Larsson mystery novels, in which a brilliant feminist hacker, in concert with a brilliant left-wing journalist modelled on the author, skulk around Stockholm fighting fascists and solving murders. The books have been massive bestsellers in America and Europe, making Larsson perhaps the richest author in Scandinavia. Slight problem, though, is that Larsson, a chubby chain smoker, died a few years back and his only known will, written in the 1970s when he was a cash-poor revolutionary, bequeathed his entire estate to the Umeå chapter of Sweden's communist party. In other words, if you read Larsson you support communism!

Well, not exactly. A court found that the old will was not legally binding, and reverted control of the estimated $20 million ($10 million when the Swedes are done with it) estate to Larsson's father and brother. But Larsson had a longtime girlfriend, fellow political radical Eva Gabrielsson, who wants a piece of the action, resulting in a long, acrminous court trial. The Los Angeles Times has an entertaining round up of the case, including this terrific exchange that proves my long-standing theory that there is no problem, personal or political, for which a Scandinavian will not attempt to pin on American foreign policy. Here is Gabrielsson explaining how The New Jewel Movement intruded upon her love life and prevented the couple from getting married—and being the rightful heir to all that loot:

The woman who was at his side for 30 years inherited nothing. She and Larsson never married -- a fact that has exacted an unforeseen price. Swedish law does not recognize common-law relationships, and she is not entitled to a penny of his estate.

Larsson couldn't have written a better cliffhanger.

They had certainly intended to tie the knot when they were younger, said Eva Gabrielsson, the love of Larsson's life. But two things conspired against them, she said.

"We did plan to get married, in 1983, except the United States did something bad then: You invaded Grenada," the longtime leftist said recently over coffee.

She and Larsson had visited the Caribbean island nation a few years before in support of its left-wing government. After the U.S. invasion led to the regime's overthrow, the couple decided to go back and investigate the situation, so marriage plans were put "on hold," said Gabrielsson, now 56.

Also worth reading: In the December issue of Vaniety Fair, Christopher Hitchens reviewed Larsson's heavy-handed, anti-capitalist "Millineum series."

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  • ||

    You can spend decades with a person, but there is only a short window of time to do that whole marriage thing. Once you've missed - you've missed it cowboy.

  • ||

    Well, not really. Cutting off the pussy and moving out will tend to reveal whether he wants you that much or not.

  • ||

    While I'm sorry her long-time boyfriend has died I must say I LOVE to see "revolutionaries" grub for the money.

    Lenin is spinning in his grave.

  • Janeane Garofalo||

    Perhaps you have seen (or, heaven forbid, read) one of those ubiquitous Stieg Larsson mystery novels, in which a brilliant feminist hacker, in concert with a brilliant left-wing journalist[...]

    I really don't peruse through the Fantasy section of the Barnes and Noble... not since I saw Eragon (yuck!)

    Oh, sorry, doesn't the description above describe something out of Fantastic literature???

  • ||

    "We did plan to get married, in 1983, except the United States did something bad then: You invaded Grenada,"

    And men around the world have a new excuse. "I'd love to marry you, sweetie, but we have this whole troop surge thing in Afghanistan."

  • Mad Max||

    'Swedish law does not recognize common-law relationships, and she is not entitled to a penny of his estate.'

    This certainly opened my eyes. From reading the works of certain American authors, I got the idea that the Europeans in general, and the Scandihoovians in particular, were uniquely 'enlightened' and non-'Puritanical' on sexual matters, unlike the uptight fundamentalist Americans. There is particular praise for European couples who shack up for life, have children, and basically act like married couples, except without invoking the outdated, repressive institution of marriage to sanction their relationship.

    Now it turns out that the Swedes won't even give recognition to these hip, up-to-date domestic partnerships.

    'We did plan to get married, in 1983, except the United States did something bad then: You invaded Grenada.'

    If Larsson's father and brother inherit the Larsson estate, cutting out the old girlfriend, then on behalf of the United States I would like to say, 'you're welcome!'

  • ||

    That is up there with the Best Excuses Ever. And what's not to like about the dead hand of Ronald Reagan reaching out and depriving a Swedish commie of her boyfriend's loot?

  • Abdul||

    +1

  • ||

    ditto

  • CTHORM@IBIS||

    Fucking Win!

  • ||

    I'm not sure if that one of the lamest excuses ever, or a brilliant excuse that perfectly perfectly exploits his girlfriend's gullibility.

    I can only imagine the claim he made that cumming in her mouth somehow advanced the cause of international communism.

  • Janeane Garofalo||

    Also worth reading: In the December issue of Vaniety Fair, Christopher Hitchens reviewed Larsson's heavy-handed, anti-capitalist "Millineum series."

    I read all of Asimov's book of the Foundation series - same shit.

  • Zeb||

    I didn't think that "Foundation" was anything like Christopher Hitchens's review of the "Millennium series".

  • Old Mexican||

    I think he or she meant that the Millenium series are like the Foundation series, in that both either show a disdain or despise markets. Asimov's so-called "Psychohistory" and the overreliance on it was a way to get around people's free choices. In the end, he conceded that even this centrally-planned system failed by the appearance of The Mule.

    I read all Asimov's works and the guy, unfortunately, did not hold markets in very high regard. He was a very good at making science popular, though.

  • The Libertarian Guy||

    Bullshit. Feminists don't like Asimov; he had a penis.

  • Marc||

    We did plan to get married, in 1983, except the United States did something bad then: You invaded Grenada

    It's unfortunate that Grenada is the only island in the Caribbean that offers marriage licenses, except of course for every other single island in the Caribbean.

  • Janeane Garofalo||

    "We did plan to get married, in 1983, except the United States did something bad then: You invaded Grenada," the longtime leftist said recently over coffee.

    If she took that line, lock, stock and barrel, from him, I have to conclude the "brilliant" feminist hacker is not modeled after HER - she's dumb as a post!

    Oh, man, I did not know leftie broads where THAT gullible!

  • ||

    the notches on many a bedpost says yes, yes they are

    I knew a guy that went all out with faux greenpeace thing just for the pussy

  • dennis||

    Dennis Reynolds?

  • Xeones||

    I am totally going to blame all my personal failures, shortcomings, and missteps on US foreign policy from now on.

  • ||

    I blame Steve Smith on American foreign policy.

  • Abdul||

    Clearly. Reagan's Star Wars Rape Satellite accidentally crashed in the Pacific Northwest, and turned a gentle forest ape into a remoresless sexual assualt machine.

  • ||

    REAGAN CAUSE STEVE TAXONOMIC NAME CHANGE FROM GIGANTOPITHECUS BLACKI TO GIGANTOPITHECUS SODOMI!

  • Jack Thread||

    Everyday is New Year's Day in KSM's New York
    Buried eight paragraphs down in a New York Times report on Eric Holder's trip to New York to brief officials there on arrangements that they must now make to accommodate KSM and his fellow 9/11 plotters comes this startling revelation:

    While the entire operation will be similar to the deployment for a New Year’s Eve celebration, the difference this time is it will have to be sustained over months or more, officials said.

    Mr. Kelly has told the Justice Department that the costs for security operations, including paying officers’ overtime, are expected to exceed the initial minimum estimate of $75 million.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2009/12.....urity.html

  • ||

    We did plan to get married, in 1983, except the United States did something bad then

    When foreign policy thwarts your love life yet again, there's a coloring book for that.

  • nobody special||

    I'm am giggling gleefully at the predicament her politics has placed her in.

    Hopefuly she will have a good 20+ years regretting the whole bohemian lifestyle that has cost her a shitload of cash.

  • ||

    Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Eat sand floozy.

  • Xeones||

    If he liked it then he woulda put a ring on it.

  • ||

    Word, X. All of life's wisdom can be found in Beyonce lyrics.

  • ||

    You would think she would want to divide the money equally among everyone in the world. You would think Larsson would have done that while he was alive so as to not have anything left when he died. Communists are full of shit.

  • ||

    You're just figuring that out?

  • Old Mexican||

    Perhaps you have seen (or, heaven forbid, read) one of those ubiquitous Stieg Larsson mystery novels, in which a brilliant feminist hacker, in concert with a brilliant left-wing journalist modelled on the author, skulk around Stockholm fighting fascists and solving murders.

    Considering the fascistic nature and Fascist origin of Sweden's government, theirs must be a full time job . . . But I have not read the books, so I do not know which fascists they would be fighting.

  • ||

    so marriage plans were put "on hold,"

    AKA: I don't think he was ready for that jelly.

  • ||

    You guys are so mean and presumptive to think she is greedy for wanting this money. Clearly, she just wanted the estate so she could divy it up among the wage laborers that work in the printing and binding businesses and thereby fulfill her Marxist duties.

  • Old Mexican||

    Also worth reading: In the December issue of Vaniety Fair, Christopher Hitchens reviewed Larsson's heavy-handed, anti-capitalist "Millineum series."

    I have to say that for a guy that hated capitalism, he amassed quite a fortune...

  • ||

    Wealth for me, but not for thee....

    S.O.P.

  • The Libertarian Guy||

    That's how leftists in America think - it's okay for them to be wealthy, but anyone a curly pube right of center should be raped vigorously every April 15th.

    Explains why Papa Kennedy snuck the family fortune offshore, for instance.

  • alan||

    Joseph, a fascist sympathizer begot four sons.

    Joseph Jr. died in WW2,
    JFK assassinated,
    RFK assassinated,
    Teddy an imbecile and life long POS,
    dies in his old age a complete disgrace.

    The Sins of The Father Are Visited Upon the Sons.

    (I totally stole this from a 1970's issue of National Lampoon, probably even written by P J O'Rourke)

  • Old Mexican||

    If I ever become a very rich and successful Marxist, I would use the same excuses this guy did so I would not hitch myself with my current girlfriend - that was pure genius.

  • Old Mexican||

    "this guy USED". Man, I have to remember to use the "preview" button more often!

  • wingnutx||

    What is Swedish for 'Schadenfreude'?

    Bork Bork Bork.

  • VM||

    "skadefryd" is Danish, so something along those lines... prolly with a double d at the end.......

    det ved jeg ikke - hva' er det, Michael?

  • robc||

    I dont understand why his 1970s era will isnt valid. If it was his last will, it was his last will.

  • VM||

    as I understand it, the Abba Soundtrack that played every time the Will was taken out of the envelope violates all standards of decency.

  • ||

    But, but...even Dancing Queen?

  • VM||

    Not even for Knowing me, knowing you

  • ||

    C'mon, there has to be a Fernando escape clause in there.

  • ||

    What about Wing's version?

  • VM||

    maybe only for the Day Before You Came.

    only cuz Blancmange did a remake.

    And Epi - three minutes in the position of "Two NutraSweets, One Cup" for making me laugh out loud and nearly snort espresso out the schnoz.

  • ||

    Because the government says so

  • ||

    Bingo. He's dead. What the hell is he gonna do about it?

  • ||

    I thought the same thing. Yo, fuck commies and all, but I don't care if it's scrawled on a diner napkin in lipstick.

    If he wrote it and wasn't blasted or nuts, then that's that. Piss off, money grubbers.

  • The Art-P.O.G.||

    Maybe it was his last will but he forgot the "testament" part.

  • VM||

    oh I get it - you're only interested in the new testament?

  • Enyap||

    According to wikipedia it's unvalid because the will was unwitnessed.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stieg_Larsson#Death

  • Abdul||

    Too bad the brilliant left wing hacker and brilliant left wing journalist didn't run across a mediocre estate planner somewhere during their adventures.

    Then again, I guess they were all wiped out by Contra death squads.

  • Marc||

    *choke*

    +1

  • ||

    You can wipe the tears from your eyes and support Eva with an online donation.

  • wingnutx||

    donate $3 per book or movie that you've enjoyed

    I will certainly do that :D

  • The Libertarian Guy||

    Three dollars if you want it... four dollars if you don't.

  • CaptainSmartass||

    This woman is a perfect example of the type of people attracted to leftist politics. The fact that they had 30 years to get married and never did isn't her fault or even his, it's the fault of some other party that had no real control over their own decisions. No wonder these people are so happy letting big daddy government take care of them, they view the world as children.

  • Old Mexican||

    No wonder these people [the lefties] are so happy letting big daddy government take care of them, they view the world as children.

    . . . Or as incompetent bufoons.

    Good post, by the way.

  • ||

    Who wouldn't want to marry a sexual dynamo like her? Those glasses. Those flabby arms. The peek of pasty, sodden boob sloshing beneath a thin ribbed shirt. The flash of erotically utilitarian bra strap. The bewildered expression.

    HAWT!

  • Old Mexican||

    Stop it! Stop it! You're making me sweat!!

  • ||

    Isn't "sturdy" the way they like 'em up yonder?

  • ||

    She wouldn't be bad with a bag over her head -- or doggystyle with a firm injunction against looking over her shoulder.

  • crayon||

    I'd do her.

  • Paul||

    Win on the alt-text, btw.

  • Warty||

    Note to self: register www.supportwarty.com.

  • Alan Vanneman||

    Well, she's hot, or at least she used to be, so I think she deserves the money. Also, I think it's a little ridiculous for Ayn Rand crowd to get ticked at someone for writing, you know, bad books.* If the Stiegmeister ever unloaded a 40,000-word monologue on the dangers of capitalism, I might feel differently.

    *And, excuse me--in fact, excuse me totally--where does Reason get off pissing on a guy for 1) being fat and 2) being a chain-smoker? I mean, huh?

  • Paul||

    There's an obesity crisis, and we have to do more to curb smoking. Sheesh.

  • The Art-P.O.G.||

    I thought you could support people's freedom of lifestyle choice while also shaming them for questionable health decisions. My decoder ring says it's OK.

  • ||

    Alan's just ticked because the rest of us find a Hillary lookalike to be...not hot. Your tastes are your own, Alan, but I would probably castrate myself if I had yours. Not that I'm suggesting anything.

  • The Art-P.O.G.||

    So, if I'm understanding this correctly, libertarians also can't criticize anyone for wearing ridiculous spectacles.

  • The Art-P.O.G.||

    According to Alan Vanneman.

  • ||

    The World According to Garp's Father: Alan Vanneman

  • ||

    ARP!

  • ||

    I'm pretty sure she wore those glasses for her starring role in Hairy Pooper and the Sorcerer's Cockring.

  • Warty||

    That's your biggest win in some time.

  • ||

    It's the new insulin!

  • ||

    It gives me powers. Awesome and terrible powers.

  • VM||

    and hopefully without the weight gain from insulin

  • Vehical Driver||

    What makes you think this is the Ayn Rand crowd?

  • ||

    Because he doesn't have to actually make a coherent argument if that's the case.

  • Paul||

    My takeaway from this: There's a lot of money in leftism.

  • Xeones||

    Note to self: register www.supportwarty.com, and use it to host goatse.cx.

  • Warty||

    STOP STEALING MY IDEAS

  • VM||

    Awesome, Xeones. I'll use your brilliant idea to bypass our filter!!

  • Warty||

    I always hate being reminded that Swedes aren't all death metal musicians or vikings. What a boring waste of a potentially awesome country.

  • ||

    And men around the world have a new excuse. "I'd love to marry you, sweetie, but we I have this whole troop surge thing in Afghanistan whenever I see another bit of skirt."

  • Vehical Driver||

    He managed to marry quite possibly the only unattractive woman in the country of Sweden.

  • ||

    Hardly. Google "ugly Swedish women"

    http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&source=hp&q=ugly swedish women&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi

  • Warty||

  • Citizen Nothing||

    I hope she gets life.

  • ||

    "She said, 'I'm going to have that bed next to the window,' and my mother said, 'Why do you think that?' and she said, 'Because I'm going to outlive you,"' Scott Barrow said.

    They just don't make women of action like that anymore...

  • ||

    From poor Eva's website:

    Our proposal is simple:
    If you're annoyed — donate $3 per book or movie that you've enjoyed
    If you're mildly annoyed by the way Eva Gabrielsson has been treated, donate $3 for each Stieg Larsson book you've read or movie that you've seen.
    •If you've read one book, donate $3.
    •If you've read all three books, donate $9.
    •If you've read all the books and seen the movie, donate $12.
    The sum of $3 is an estimate corresponding to half the author's royalty for each book sold.

    If you're upset — donate $7 per book or movie
    If you're upset, we suggest you donate $7 for each book you've read or movie that you've seen.

    If you're really furious — donate more than $15 per book or movie
    If you're really furious by the way Eva Gabrielsson has been treated, we suggest that you donate at least $15 for each book you've read or movie that you've seen.

    These are just suggestions, of course. You are free to contribute any amount you like. (Pay here).

    If you wish, please leave a note for Eva in the guestbook when making your payment!

    I'll give her three bucks if she offers to flash her pancake titties.

  • Marc||

    I am mildly annoyed by her picture. Do I get $3?

  • Xeones||

    If you wish, please leave a note for Eva in the guestbook when making your payment!

    Do you have to make a payment in order to leave a note? 'Cause if so, that's, like, totally capitalist, man.

  • ||

    No you don't . Have at it.

  • Xeones||

    Thanks, Mr. Johnson. Done and done.

  • Tony's library card||

    You wouldn't believe how many fines this schmuck has racked up. Every time he checks out one of Stieg Larsson's books, he gets the pages all stuck together with... oh, I can't finish, it's too disgusting.

  • alan||

    My addition to that forum if they so choose to accept it.

    First of all, thanks for making your board so open and user convenient.

    Now I have to ask, why would a communist need money? If I were to donate would I not be tempting Ms. Eva into the vicious, decadent cycle of the bourgeoisie? I believe people should live by the beliefs they espouse, and if Ms. Eva had espoused a more mercernary and free market point of view, I could certainly get on board and donate. However, if private property has no inherent meaning to her, then the proper course of action would be to download her spouse's work*
    and read it with no transaction costs involved.

    Also, I see in previous post where Mr. Larsson is praised for being a defender of the rights of women. Are you so hopeless that you need a big man to defend you? Don't you find the concept even the slightest bit condescending and undermining to the independence you claim to seek
    that a man can say the right words and blow the right kisses your way and that gets you weak in the knees? You have come along way, babe!

    The words may be different, but its the same biology at play.

    * I am sorry for your loss, most every human life is precious, and your husband was no exception.

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