When Hairless Genitalia Is Banned, Only Criminals Will Have Hairless Genitalia

The state of New Jersey wants to ban Brazilians. Not the people, but the style of bikini wax.

Spa owner Linda Orsuto, who owns 800 West Salon & Spa in Cherry Hill, estimates that most of 1,800 bikini waxes performed at her business last year were Brazilian-style.

"It's huge," she said, adding that her customers don't think their bikini lines are anyone's business but their own. "It's just not right."

She said many customers would likely travel across state lines to get it and some might even try to wax themselves.

Worse, when back-alley cosmetologists do get busted, the wax will probably test positive for marijuana.

Via the superbly-named blog, Popehat.

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  • Seer||

    Harliess genitalia? Is this some new competitor to Harley-Davison?

  • ||

    Since I have a deep and abiding interest in the this subject I am compelled to point out it's spelled "Hairless."

  • ||

    Also, like new Jersey really needed more jokes about the attractiveness of their women folk.

  • Ska||

    Do they post a serious health risk or something (in NJ Dept of Health's opinion of course)?

    Meh, I prefer the landing strip anyway.

  • ||

    *plugs ears with fingers

    Leavenewjerseyalone!Newjerseyisamazing!Leavenewjerseyalone!


    Also... is it just me or is the typo strangely more repulsive than the original word?

  • Stolen from somewhere else||

    "New Jersey Democrats Support Bush"

  • cuernimus||

    Damn, a bikini wax that gave women infections that required hospitalization. Ouch. Also, this

    Technically, genital waxing has never been allowed - only the face, neck, abdomen, legs and arms are permitted ... "The genital area is not part of the abdomen or legs as some might assume," Lamm said.

    makes me laugh really hard, and I have no idea why.

  • BakedPenguin||

    They can take the hairless beaver from my cold, dead hands...

  • Shaggy||

    On Penn & Teller's "Bullshit" they did an episode on hair. We got to see this hot bruette's anus get waxed. With hair, it was great to look at. Without hair? Angelic!

  • Ska||

    Isn't the quote "fingers"?

    But if you're more of a fister more power to you I suppose.

  • kinnath||

    The state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling is moving toward a ban on genital waxing altogether after two women reported being injured in their quest for a smooth bikini line.

    Both women were hospitalized for infections following so-called "Brazilian" bikini waxes; one of the women has filed a lawsuit, . . .


    Two women suffered ill effects out of thousands of procedures. One of them got a laywer and sued.

    Sounds like the system is functioning exactly how it should.

    But the nannies will never let success get in the way of new regulations.

  • ||

    Also... dawn of the back alley bikini wax.

  • jp||

    I think this is part of a clandestine effort to drive strip clubs out of the Garden State.

    :-(

  • ||

    Bizarre. You can have an abortion, but you can't get your twat waxed. WTF?

  • ||

    You can have an abortion, but you can't get your twat waxed.

    What if there was a business that offered both? Kind of like a full service car wash. Women go in hairy and knocked up and come out empty, hairless, and with new-car-smell panties on.

    And then Mexicans could towel them off.

  • ||

    OK, what if we call them Peruvians? You leave a little bowler hat-shaped patch at the top.

  • ||

    Eh, I dunno, SF. Could they opt for the coconut?

  • jp||

    As someone on this board once brilliantly said:

    When canonballs are outlawed, only canon lawyers will have balls.

  • ||

    SF--It's not complete without the little pine-tree air freshener.

  • ||

    Who waxes the waxmen?!

  • Paul||

    I uhh, this is uhm... this can't be real. This fucking can't be real.

  • Paul||

    Wait... hold on a sec... why does the state of a board of "hairstyling and cosmotology"? Is the head of that board the Hair Czar?

  • ||

    There's a choice of twelve scents.

    But not cherry, because that would just be cruel.

  • TofuSushi||

    Do you have to be licensed to do this privatly outside of New Jersey?

    If it is illegal then I think my friends will be calling me kitten less often.

  • Paul||

    *why does the state have a board*


    sorry.

  • Alan Vanneman||

    Well, maybe New Yorkers can go to New Jersey to have their genomes read and New Jerseyans can go to New York to have their genital hair removed. Actually, I think that's what the Founding Fathers had in mind.

  • Shaggy||

    "If it is illegal then I think my friends will be calling me kitten less often."

    Oh that's right. You know some lesbians. That is so cool!

  • Shaggy||

    Don't forget to remind us again tomorrow.

  • TofuSushi||

    Shaggy,

    Right after breakfast.

  • Napoleon Blew My Bone Apart.||

    "Well, maybe New Yorkers can go to New Jersey to have their genomes read and New Jerseyans can go to New York to have their genital hair removed. Actually, I think that's what the Founding Fathers had in mind."

    You're absolutely right.

  • ||

    I can't think of any more genital waxing-ban humor. It's probably for the best.

  • oh god||

    Just what Jersey needs. More hair.

  • ||

    Who waxes the waxmen?!

    Dr. Manhattan, silly.

    After his stint in 'Nam, I'd watch how I voted. All in favor? Ay...SBLATCH!

  • ||

    Judging by the Jersey girls I know, I think there are more dangerous things that they put in and around that area then wax... What ever scientist invented latex deserves a nobel prize!

  • ev||

    I saw this the other day and was just baffled; I sent it to several non-believers.

    I just don't understand 'protecting' people like this.

    Why don't we ban cars, elevators, vending machines, skydiving, shit....why don't we ban exercise because jogging is bad on the joints?

    I guarantee that jogging causes more injury than ninety....eight percent of illegal activities.

  • ||

    They'll get my bald pussy when they pry it off my cold, dead, smiling face.

  • ||

    Still legal in PA? If so, I guess businesses across the river will be getting my money instead of my local salon.

  • Invisible Finger||

    New Jersey legislators should watch Curb Your Enthusiasm once in a while.

  • Whateverdude||

    Pubic hair causes crime.

  • Invisible Finger||

    Logically, shouldn't this mean that circumcision is outlawed as well?

  • ||

    Hairy is scary

  • MRK||

    The bare facts of this story are apalling.

  • ||

    Jamie Kelly | March 20, 2009, 3:09pm | #
    They'll get my bald pussy when they pry it off my cold, dead, smiling face.



    Thread winner!

  • ||

    This ban could have very hairy consequences!

  • ||

    The state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling [What???]is moving toward a ban on genital waxing altogether after two women reported being injured in their quest for a smooth bikini line.

    2 women out of thousands of clients getting infections does not sound as formidable as thousands dying in car accidents, ergo, mandatory neck-snapping air bags.

  • ||

    about that last line:


    http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Moist-Vagina-lyrics-Nirvana/62C4ECBE6B6D978348256BBF00073236

    video here

  • JB||

    SugarFree, LOL!

    "What if there was a business that offered both? Kind of like a full service car wash. Women go in hairy and knocked up and come out empty, hairless, and with new-car-smell panties on.

    And then Mexicans could towel them off."

  • ||

    The last Jersey girl I dated looked like she was smuggling Chewbacca in her kini.

  • ||

    Why the fuck are they still anti- bush?

  • Anonymous||

    What's murder compared to irritated stubble?

  • the innominate one||

    This is the real bush derangement syndrome.

  • Paul||

    Well, maybe New Yorkers can go to New Jersey to have their genomes read and New Jerseyans can go to New York to have their genital hair removed. Actually, I think that's what the Founding Fathers had in mind."

    They also had it mind that there was a much deeper reason for owning firearms than just a "valid sporting purpose".

    If you get my drift and all...

  • Paul||

    Why the fuck are they still anti- bush?

    They're not. Clearly they're pro-bush. Apparently New Jersey officials miss it.

  • ||

    Radley, the Chicago Tribune reports that New Jersey has backed down from the ridiculous effort that prompted you to whip everyone into an artificial frenzy. Since you're not interested in correcting, or further investigating, the accuracy of your own snarkiness, allow me.

    Trib article here.

  • Anonymous||

    From the follow-up article:

    "It's pure cleanliness," she said. "It began in the Middle East["]


    Yeah, there's nothing that says "cleanliness" more than Arab women: camels, burkas, and nubile clitlessness.

  • Paul||

    Tribune reports that New Jersey has backed down from the ridiculous effort that prompted you to whip everyone into an artificial frenzy. Since you're not interested in correcting, or further investigating,

    The fact that people with regulatory powers in the state of New Jersey actually woke up one morning and said "Hey, I have an idea" says something about these fuckwits in office.

    I say we continue to make fun of them... on general principle.

  • ||

    Despite all my libertarian instincts

    I was kind of having authoritarian leanings about supporting a law that would be the opposite of this one

    I mean really, nowerdays its just polite

  • ||

    And the NJ state legislature tries to deep six the only redeeming quality of Jersey Girls. Like, Oh, MY, Gawd.

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