Noncompliant Nipple Ring Sold Separately

The latest from Playmobil:

The woman traveler stops by the security checkpoint. After placing her luggage on the screening machine, the airport employee checks her baggage. The traveler hands her spare change and watch to the security guard and proceeds through the metal detector. With no time to spare, she picks up her luggage and hurries to board her flight!

The customer reviews are priceless.  Save on shipping by ordering it with the Playmobil Police Checkpoint and Playmobil SWAT playsets in time for your favorite little authoritarian's birthday!

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  • ||

    There really is a Playmobil SWAT set!

    Where do they get their no knock warrants from? I hope there's a Playmobil judge!

  • Benway||

    The best part is that the link for the Playmobil SWAT set tells you that it's frequently purchased with the Playmobil Ambulance set.

  • ||

    Does it come with realistic dog killing action?

  • ||

    Where do you get off, you sick little twist? Sexual? I'm not sexual with them. I'm not abusive with them, how dare you write that in your paper without knowing nothing about me, biting's not sex, it's biting! I'm not sick like that. Maybe I should come bite you, would you like that, scotty? I bet you would like that, I am right? You write about me like I'm sick. You're the sick one, you know that? Is that why you like me, scotty? Is that why? I could come bite you; you tell me how sexual it is. You humiliate me like that? You mortify me like that in front of my father? My father's father? Listen to me, smack daddy, crack daddy, little baby whack daddy, here's what's happening. You ain't never going to find them anymore. You aint never gonna see them no more. I'm sending you something right now, You take a good look at this guy, because you ain't ver going to see him no more.

  • Taktix®||

    What about the Playmobil black ICE vans for picking up undesirables?

    Or Playmobil planes with herbicides for the Playmobile W.O.D.? I hear they're a big seller in Columbia.

    Each comes with a camera and a Junior Spies application...

  • Sweatpants||

    Is it concerning to anybody else that a fake mustache tops the list of "customers who bought this also bought..." list?

  • Brian Sorgatz||

    Somebody has to sell those kinds of toys. If not, there would be no Robot Chicken.

  • Xeones||

    Holy crap, that's hilarious.

    I know what my daughter's getting for her birthday now.

  • Other Matt||

    The reviews are priceless.

  • ||

    The reviews are funny. I liked the one of getting the coupon so the toy costs $9.11.

  • Ska||

    Yeah, the customer reviews are top notch.

    Almost as good as the review of Randy "Macho Man" Savage's smash hit CD "Be a Man."

    I wish I knew how to code URLs into my comments. I'm a noob.

  • Orange Line Special||

    That looks just like the checkpoints to be found at any federal building throughout the U.S. Oh, the statist crushing of my will to breath free!

    Say, I'll bet Reason is glad that Dave Weigel is misleading somewhere else these days.

    Weigel can't even make a simple phone call to try to confirm his assumptions. Now, that's journalism!

  • ||

    Is that a swastika band on the seated guard's arm?

  • ||

    Not nearly as bad as Playskool's Helmet Heroes, which allows your kids to throw you in jail etc. The commercial available here is distressing to say the least.

  • Warty||

    LurkerBold almost made me miss Lonewacko. Shut the fuck up, Lonewacko.

    Speaking of creepy toys...

  • ||

    Much better video link here.

  • ||

    The customer reviews make me believe that there is some hope for freedom still.

  • ||

    I'm going to get this for my son and we are going to attack the TSA and SWAT thugs with our Pirates and Knights.

  • Other Matt||

    Ska

    This might help.

    The "a" is the one that you'll probably want to start with for HTML imbeds.

  • ||

    The customer reviews are priceless.

    AMEN

    I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.

  • ||

    I wish I knew how to code URLs into my comments. I'm a noob.



    The tutorial I learned from* as an internet tyro.

    You can op-test your links in preview at H&R too.

    No charge.

  • Taktix®||

    Not nearly as bad as Playskool's Helmet Heroes, which allows your kids to throw you in jail etc.

    Kids have always liked playing Policemen and Firemen, etc., but I can't think of one instance in my childhood, nor the childhood of those I know, where the phrase was uttered: "I want to grow up to be a fat-shit, drooling airport security guard!"

  • sage||

    Wow, thanks for pointing this out, Radley.

    3 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
    Time Travel, February 28, 2008
    By P. Wenzel (Hill Valley, CA, in the year 1985.) - See all my reviews


    Durability: Fun: Educational:
    Quandary: Do you think that if I carried my child's Playmobil Checkpoint through an actual security checkpoint, I could travel through time? Help other customers find the most helpful reviews
    Was this review helpful to you? Report this | Permalink
    Comment

  • BPC||

    I wonder if this toy meets the new standards of the Consumer Product Safety Improvement Act? It had better, for the sake of the children.

    http://www.lewrockwell.com/blog/lewrw/archives/024774.html

  • Reinmoose||

    This...is....perfect!

    The traveler is clearly French too - look at the scarf and striped shirt

  • ||

    "I want to grow up to be a fat-shit, drooling airport security guard!"

    Taktix®,
    I believe the proper title is "Rent-a-cop".

  • The Angry Optimist||

    This is the perfect playset, I can't wait till it comes back in stock. I am also ordering the 4 additional security screeners standing around to make it 100% authentic

  • Taktix®||

    I believe the proper title is "Rent-a-cop".

    It's changed to "Subsidize-A-Cop" post TSA...

  • Reinmoose||

    I thought rent-a-cops were university public safety officials

  • Ska||

    My thanks to OM and Jsub for the links. I promise to not use any new tricks I might learn for the powers of evil.

    Unless, you know, it's totally warranted or results in hysterical shenanigans.

  • BakedPenguin||

    The reviews are priceless.



    Oh, yes.

    I am holding out for the release of the Guantanemo Playset. Hopefully this will come with an extrordinary rendition option.

  • ||

    This is about the dumbest toy I've seen:

    Stupid toy (new window)

    I don't think you need to have ever been the parent of a young child to know why...

    Almost the same (new window)


    Ska, you could learn from almost any site you reach by googling "html linking", or look at the string below. All the parenthesis should really be those greater than less than thingies...whatever you call these < >

    Carrots?


    (a target="_blank"href="http://www.samplewebsiteURL.com")Text(/a)

    If you use those thingmanutters instead on the parenthesis, the above sample becomes the following:

    Text


    Or you can just post the URL. People with lives don't care either way. Some even prefer the DIY method.

  • ||

    "Sir, I'm going to need you to place your pee-pee into the ring at the end of this wand."

  • ||

    And shouldn't someone be forcing a mother figure to drink her own breast milk?

    AHHHHhahahahaha!!

    *wipes tears*

  • ||

    """I'm going to get this for my son and we are going to attack the TSA and SWAT thugs with our Pirates and Knights."""

    lol, yeah, and put some videos up on youtube of that and watch the fiasco begin. How dare you teach children to attack authority figures.

    """I am holding out for the release of the Guantanemo Playset. Hopefully this will come with an extrordinary rendition option. """

    That will be an add on. With the gitmo set you get a couple of guards and prisoners plus the jail. The white CIA jet and landing strip come with the rendition add on. Waterboarding table with restraints and bucket are part of the Advance Interrogation set which comes with a Dick Cheney figure complete with pull string that makes him laugh with a sinister tone. They had a Bush figure with a pull string but decided not to release it when they realized it sounded like Vinnie Barbarino.

  • ||

    """And shouldn't someone be forcing a mother figure to drink her own breast milk?"""

    Or force the kid to take a drink of his science project.

  • ||

    I imagine the body scan set will come next?


    I've been through a TSA checkpoint with breastmilk... thankfully, they didn't ask me to partake.

  • Jervas||

    For the pirate TSA attack video music, may I humbly suggest Captain Dan and the Scurvy Crew. Warning: Pirate Hip-hop.

  • oat willie||

    "Somebody has to sell those kinds of toys. If not, there would be no Robot Chicken."

    Can't wait for the Roobot Chicken which includes these action figures.

  • Guy Montag||

    Too bad they do not make the female cop figurines hotter. Are miniskirts and heels too much to ask for?

  • ||

    I like that almost everyone who voted on the customer reviews agreed that the reviews were "helpful."

  • Jonas||

    Oh. My. God.
    Actual, apparently non-ironic, customer review:

    Helping Our Children Deal With Reality, March 1, 2008
    By John P Bernat (Kingsport, TN USA) - See all my reviews

    Like most people, I hate airport security. I hate the fact that we "have to do" this.

    That said, the people at the security checkpoints are not to blame for the world conditions that created their jobs. If this toy helps young air travelers be a little less apprehensive, and less "difficult" in passing through these stations, then so much the better.

    Both my children attend Virginia Tech. In light of the events of the past year, I am actually very grateful that their campus administrators decided not to take a approach like this. Today my kids can live in the dorms, attend class, and try to learn in an atmosphere that is not oppressive.

    However, if something like this, in some probative way, helped to keep either one of them alive, I'd favor them getting regular full cavity searches.

    Also, I fly almost every week. I am kind and cooperative with the TSA gate personnel, because they're just doing their jobs. Does that make them (or me) "good brownshirts?" Does mouthing off to TSA personnel strike a blow for liberty (to borrow Harry Truman's phrase)?

    Our constitution tries to protect life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Is the relative order of those words an accident? Life comes first.

    Order me two of these little items...

  • Jonas||

    However, if something like this, in some probative way, helped to keep either one of them alive, I'd favor them getting regular full cavity searches.



    I just had to share my favorite part one more time.

  • sage||

    Yeah, the customer reviews are top notch.

    Almost as good as the review of Randy "Macho Man" Savage's smash hit CD "Be a Man."


    OMFG, Ska, thanks for the tip. The very first review is hilarious.

    There is no way you will ever get closer to the utopia you experience when you listen to this outstanding album. I hope for the sake of every being in the universe that we will see many, many more Macho Man albums in the future. When I first caught a glance of this CD at Walmart, I turned and fell to my knees while time literally stopped. Once I regained consciousness I quickly filled a crate with the album and handed the cashier a flying elbow drop!

    And it literally goes on and on and on.

  • ||

    There is obviously a need for these toys:

    http://www.minifigforlife.com/theprostore/main.php?P=cat&C=15

  • ||

    Pffft! That's nothing! I was at the airport Monday morning after a national robotics competition that weekend. Thanks to an extraordinary bit of luck, I got in line before the MIT team did. The line after me backed up like an overdose of Metamucil. It was great fun watching members of the team trying to get through with miscellaneous robot parts in their carryons.

  • ||

    "If this toy helps young air travelers be a little less apprehensive, and less "difficult" in passing through these stations, then so much the better."

    So when a young travel companion asks their mother why she is being inappropiately racked by lowwage screener man during secondary screening. She can say we had this play session already.

  • ||

    "I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger's shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger's scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said "that's the worst security ever!". But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital."

    Maybe add: in spite of this heroism, 2 PAC-3 air defense missiles blew it into a cloud of interlocking blocks before the aircraft could harm important politicians and government service workers on the ground.

  • Gary Leff||

    A reader of my blog gave this to me for Christmas in 2005.

    http://boardingarea.com/blogs/viewfromthewing/2005/12/06/now-i-know-what-i-want-for-christmas/

    It's been hours of fun. But with only one passenger in the playset you can't create long lines. Their shoes can't be removed. And the box seems rather incomplete without a No Fly List...

  • wizard of oz books||

    With many new announcement about the wizard of oz movies in the news, you might want to consider starting to obtain Wizard of Oz book series either as collectible or investment at RareOzBooks.com.

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