David Weigel | August 28, 2008

For sale at the Denver Convention Center: President Obama stress
balls. "Squeeze it when right wing policy gets your blood pressure
up."

To be expected.

Those innumerable magazine covers with Obama's smiling mug on them
have all been turned into T-shirts.

An average late-day line into the Pepsi Center. (Visible in the
distance: the CNN Grill.)

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stranger.
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Do I really look like a guy with a plan? You know what I am? I'm a dog chasing cars. I wouldn't know what to do with one if I caught it. You know, I just do things. McCain has plans, the cops have plans, Obama's got plans. You know, they're schemers. Schemers trying to control their worlds. I'm not a schemer. I try to show the schemers how pathetic their attempts to control things really are.
Ah, PETA... is there anything they think authoritarianism won't
solve?
Also, where are the Giant Puppet-Heads? Don't tell me they don't
have any Giant Puppet-Heads?!?
The Joker looks more than a little like Nick Gillespie. Are you telling us the whole truth?
Ah, PETA... is there anything they think authoritarianism
won't solve?
If only that was the limit of their wickedness. From their point of
view, authoritarianism does solve problems, because they
define "solve" as "impoverish and kill humans".
Ah, Warren... is there anything getting rid of Steve Chapman
won't solve?
Dinner: Apple-smoked-bacon-wrapped turkey kabobs with balsamic
braised leeks. Assuming the rain doesn't screw me. Have fun with
your lentils, suckers.
I don't understand how Reanimated Zombie Barack Obama is supposed to help relieve stress.
joe,
Weaponized hope and change drip out when you squeeze it hard
enough.
Of course, the McCain doll only exudes cold oatmeal and doubles as
a tiger cage air-freshener.
Have fun with your lentils, suckers.
"Neil, are these lentils South African?"
NutraSweet, you are such an amateur. My dinner is going to be
shrimp sauteed in a basil, ginger, cilantro, garlic, lime,
jalapeno, and tamari paste. And no rain can screw me.
"Oh, have we got a video?"
Cilantro? Why not just eat three-day-old roadkill? There's a
bloated possum down the street I could FedEx if you like.
I have a back-log of bacon. I need to catch up.
Whoah. Whoooah. Hold on right there, Chief. You don't like
cilantro?
You're dead to me, philistine.
"Oh no...am being hassled in the street by a chick"
Ah, Warren... is there anything getting rid of Steve Chapman
won't solve?
Possibly there is. But that would still be a good first step, and
it couldn't hurt.
Whenever Obama does something stupid in office, I'll be stomping on one of these stress releivers.
President Obama stress balls.
I'll bet Jesse Jackson buys two, and squeezes them whenever his
spirits need a lift.
If we tax meat, doesn't that create an incentive to keep people eating meat? Is your average politician going to kill a revenue stream once established?
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