'That's a Very Serious Marker'

Jacob Sullum | April 18, 2008

Remember the 13-year-old girl who was strip-searched because her vice principal thought she might be hiding ibuprofen in her underwear? The rationale in that case (to the extent that one can be divined) was that, while you can't actually use ibuprofen tablets to get high, they sorta look like things (hydrocodone, Valium, MDMA, etc.) that you can use to get high. A similar kind of quasi-reasoning was behind the three-day suspension of an 8-year-old boy from Harris Park Elementary School in Westminster, Colorado, for the offense of marker sniffing:

[Eathan] Harris used a black Sharpie marker to color a small area on the sleeve of his sweatshirt. A teacher sent him to the principal when she noticed him smelling the marker and his clothing.

"It smelled good," Harris said. "They told me that's wrong."...

[Principal Chris] Benisch stands by his decision to suspend Harris, saying it sends a clear message about substance abuse.

"This is really, really, seriously dangerous," Benisch said.

In his letter suspending the child, Benisch wrote that smelling the marker fumes could cause the boy to "become intoxicated."

A toxicologist with the Rocky Mountain Poison Control Center says that claim is nearly impossible.

Dr. Eric Lavonas says non-toxic markers like Sharpies, while pungent-smelling, cannot be used to get high.

"I don't know whether it would be possible for a real overachiever to figure out a way to get high off them," Lavonas said. "But in regular use, it's just not something that's going to happen."

"If you went to Costco and bought 50 bags of Sharpies and did something to them, maybe there's a way to get creative and make it happen," Lavonas said.

Adams County School District 50 leaders were unfazed by the poison control center's medical opinion.

"Principals make hundreds of decisions everyday based on our best judgment. And in that time, smelling that marker, I felt like, 'Wow, that's a very serious marker,'" Benisch said.

After all, the kid admits the marker "smelled good," which means he enjoyed sniffing it, which means it chemically stimulated the pleasure center of his brain, which makes its impact biochemically indistinguishable from that of a drug. I assume Harris Park Elementary School also bans flowers, perfumes, and fragrant food.

Have you ever heard of a case like this where school officials apologized and admitted they overreacted? Instead they circle the wagons and insist that their actions, no matter how objectively idiotic, were perfectly justified in the circumstances, what with the grave danger that [fill in the blank] poses to the youth of America. In this respect public school officials resemble the Transportation Security Administration. But at least the TSA has been known to change stupid policies once in a while, even if it doesn't admit how stupid they were to begin with.

[via The Freedom Files]

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tarran|4.18.08 @ 1:03PM|#

Why should they care?

What are their "customers" going to do, leave?

The business model of a tax-payer funded school has more in common with a Mafia protection racket than with a Walmart.

Is it any wonder that public school officials behave abusively toward their victims?

Abdul|4.18.08 @ 1:07PM|#

Experimentation with markers is a proven gateway to crayon addiction.

|4.18.08 @ 1:12PM|#

I assume Harris Park Elementary School also bans flowers, perfumes, and fragrant food.

Have some more schloppy joes! I know you likes 'em schloppy! Mua ha ha!

Episiarch|4.18.08 @ 1:13PM|#

I still cannot believe that this is allowed to go on by the parents. I guess I'm from a different time, but for me this seems like a situation where the parents would go into the principal's office and say "take this absurd thing off his record or we will sue your ass and publicize this".

Wouldn't having every parent of every kid in the school calling in dent this guy?

anom|4.18.08 @ 1:14PM|#

I would give a nontrivial probability to the likelyhood that freedom files first found out about this from reading Reason.

|4.18.08 @ 1:14PM|#

Am I the only one that sniffed a Sharpie after reading this to see what it smelled like?

|4.18.08 @ 1:15PM|#

"Principals make hundreds of decisions everyday based on our best judgment. And in that time, smelling that marker, I felt like, 'Wow, that's a very serious marker,'" Benisch said.

GAH! What is it about journalists/reporters?! Why can't they learn ENGLISH?!

Tym|4.18.08 @ 1:16PM|#

Why punish the kid when he did not know he did anything "wrong". There is no mens rea. Wouldn't it just make more sense to explain to the kid that smelly solvent fumes are not healthy to breath. I am sure an 8 year old would understand this, my 8 year old got it when I saw her smelling a marker. No, they have to go completely overboard.

|4.18.08 @ 1:16PM|#

I guess I'm from a different time, but for me this seems like a situation where the parents would go into the principal's office and say "take this absurd thing off his record or we will sue your ass and publicize this". Wouldn't having every parent of every kid in the school calling in dent this guy?

No, because that's not how grade school politics work. The rest of the parents and children in the school would gossip about how that child has a drug problem and is a drug abuser. The parents of the child would be suspected of child abuse for complaining about the charges, and the child would be observed by child services or possibly removed from their custody.

I know this from past personal experience.

NoStar|4.18.08 @ 1:16PM|#

When I was in grade school, the best part of taking tests was smelling the freshly mimeographed paper. (In college I waited until after finals to kill off a few brain cells.)

I bet if a school had a mimeograph room to make copies today, a fully suited HAZMAT team would be required to clean it up.

|4.18.08 @ 1:17PM|#

Have you ever heard of a case like this where school officials apologized and admitted they overreacted?

Sometime, somewhere, a public school administrator must have admitted to a rectal-cranial inversion problem. Some reasonoid will probably point a case out. But it would be a rare thing.

Tym|4.18.08 @ 1:18PM|#

Am I the only one that sniffed a Sharpie after reading this to see what it smelled like?

I am not sure what is in it, it smells like some kind of alcohol, isopropyl maybe? Remember when markers smelled like toluene?

|4.18.08 @ 1:19PM|#

Tym|4.18.08 @ 1:19PM|#

I bet if a school had a mimeograph room to make copies today, a fully suited HAZMAT team would be required to clean it up.

Yes, because they used to use carbon tetrachloride I think.

http://msds.chem.ox.ac.uk/CA/carbon_tetrachloride.html

Tym|4.18.08 @ 1:21PM|#

Does anybody else remember those markers that are designed to smell good? The orange marker smells like (candy) oranges, red smells like cherry, etc.

Yes, they were cool.

I assume those have been discontinued and are now treated like candy cigarettes.

I dn't know, I think they were harmless?

Sam Grove|4.18.08 @ 1:21PM|#

And people look askance at home schoolers?

|4.18.08 @ 1:23PM|#

The purpose of public education is to teach kids unquestioning obedience to the arbitrary whims of authority figures.

This isn't a mistake, things like this happen by design. Children need their spirit broken, just like horses need to be broken, before they become useful.

mike -
Actually, strangely, i think they're still on the market.

Yup: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/B000F8XIYW/reasonmagazineA/

Taktix®|4.18.08 @ 1:23PM|#

Prediction:

The next one of these sorts on incidents will involve a student, age 10 or less, being suspended for drawing a tree in art class that sorta resembles a pot leaf.

In addition, one of the authority figures will use the phrase "it sends a clear message" at some point.

The Wine Commonsewer|4.18.08 @ 1:25PM|#

Not only is he an idiot but he runs a crappy school. Great Schools rates his 341 student school 3 on a scale of 10. The parents give it two stars on five star scale.

This kind of stuff makes my head explode. I need a drink.

|4.18.08 @ 1:27PM|#

I still cannot believe that this is allowed to go on by the parents.

Amen.
I lived with Nana (paternal grandmother) when I was in kindergarten. I flunked hopping. Yes, the great academic failure that stopped me from a career in politics was hopping. Nana wasted no time marching to the school and upbraiding everybody she could find. Her rtghteous indignation became a family legend. She would have visited bloody carnage on the school over an incident like this.

The Wine Commonsewer|4.18.08 @ 1:31PM|#

When he was little, my boy used to love the smell of lacquer thinner. I had a talk with him about that. :-)

And Epi, about that parent thing. I remember my younger sister got sent to the office for some stupid thing. When the vice principal looked at her name he said: is TWC your older brother? She replied that I was and the vp immediately told her to run along back to class. He apparently did not want to speak with my father about the problem.

|4.18.08 @ 1:31PM|#

After all, the kid admits the marker "smelled good," which means he enjoyed sniffing it, which means it chemically stimulated the pleasure center of his brain, which makes its impact biochemically indistinguishable from that of a drug.

I always smeared my kids with poop, just to be on the safe side.

|4.18.08 @ 1:32PM|#

Wow, J sub... do you mean "hopping" as in bouncing-up-and-down-on-one-foot? That sounds more like a class they'd have now. What about the class of "saying nice things about myself?" Surely there are some of those.

|4.18.08 @ 1:33PM|#

What were the arguments against homeschooling again?

We need to retroactively arrest everyone in Mr. Hand's class for sniffing the freshly copied paper.

|4.18.08 @ 1:34PM|#

Have you ever heard of a case like this where school officials apologized and admitted they overreacted?

No, but I did read about a wrong door drug raid where the cops not only apologized, but acted civilly, admitted that they had the wrong house (despite the fact that they were at an address they had targetted) and quickly sent someone to repair the window.

But it happened in Britain. Link here

Instead of junkies crazed on crack, however, they found school dinner lady Kathleen Oldham sitting in her dressing-gown enjoying an early-morning cup of tea.

At that point they realised they had blundered.

"Sorry, love, wrong house", they said and immediately departed leaving a female colleague behind to make a more effusive apology.

Miss Oldham was presented with a bouquet of flowers and workmen arrived promptly to repair her front window.

Yesterday Greater Manchester Police issued a public apology to the 58-year-old dinner lady over the bungled raid on her home in Bolton.

"As part of an ongoing operation to target drug-related crime, officers entered the wrong house," said a spokesman.

"Officers will be reviewing what went wrong in order to make sure this doesn't happen again."

Miss Oldham's was one of a number of addresses targeted by police in a series of raids.

|4.18.08 @ 1:35PM|#

I'm sniffing a marker right now.

|4.18.08 @ 1:36PM|#

Why punish the kid when he did not know he did anything "wrong". There is no mens rea.

Welcome to our strict liability world, Tym.

|4.18.08 @ 1:38PM|#

Instead they circle the wagons and insist that their actions, no matter how objectively idiotic, were perfectly justified in the circumstances, what with the grave danger that [fill in the blank] poses to the youth of America

ANd this is the main reason why MANY MANY lawsuits happen in America. The unwillingness of entities (government, corporate, individuals etc) to just admit that mistakes were made or that the policy needs to be revisited or whatever.

People get screwed and fucked over all the time, and no one gives a shit to try and make amends or right their wrongs or even pretend like they give a damn how the victims are negatively effected.

|4.18.08 @ 1:39PM|#

I f'ing hate people

Phlogiston|4.18.08 @ 1:44PM|#

Does anybody else remember those markers that are designed to smell good? The orange marker smells like (candy) oranges, red smells like cherry, etc. I assume those have been discontinued and are now treated like candy cigarettes.

The good ones come from Mexico and they smell just like you remember from when you were a kid. Half the excitement of scoring some is the nostalgia, at least for me. It will take you back, stir you up, leave you ready to dangle from the monkey bars all recess, like when you were 8. That's probably not what you're going get hold of if you go looking though.

These days, most scented markers are cooked up by some sketchy bastard in a trailer park with pots of juice, aluminum and god knows what else. The liquid is soaked in cotton, which is wrapped in a hard plastic film and placed in the shell of a commercial Sharpy.

The ingredients are usually dirt cheap. The cherry juice that goes into your bathtub markers isn't the R. W. Knudsen shit you buy at Trader Joe's. If you're lucky, it's Juicy-Juice - mostly malus domestica, with a little bit of cherry thrown in to fool your sense of smell. More likely, it's cut with HFCS.

"Cinnamon" is almost never the zeylanicum you used to do in class. Generally it's burmannii, and causes brain lesions.

Even if you can score a commercial grade set, it's just not worth going there these days. I've seen too many people slip into buying whatever they can score that weekend. When insensible in the hallway of some stranger's apartment, the acrid scent of the ammonium chloride from the "licorice" you just did is burning in your rainbow-colored nose, you'll wish you'd never tried to go back.

|4.18.08 @ 1:50PM|#

When I was a kid I used to love the smell of gasoline at pump stations. Is it just me, or has the smell of gasoline changed too? Can it be due to the change from leaded to unleaded?
Just wondering. TGIF.

Taktix®|4.18.08 @ 1:50PM|#

Hey Phlogiston, how many markers did you sniff before you wrote that post?

ed|4.18.08 @ 1:53PM|#

smelling the freshly mimeographed paper

Good times. And the ink was blue! If the teacher was hot, that's what you'd call a trifecta.

|4.18.08 @ 1:54PM|#

Is it just me, or has the smell of gasoline changed too?

No, it's pretty much the same. I mean, when I'm huffing it, I shellack fuzzy toad-launchers erstwhile fertilizing retrograde ducks.

|4.18.08 @ 1:58PM|#

I personally like smelling decaying paper when you open old filing cabinets

|4.18.08 @ 2:02PM|#

Kids today have it so easy. To get out of class I would've had to take the marker and written "Miss Hines is an ugly fat cow" all over the wall to get out of class. Now you just pop the cap and sniff it.

|4.18.08 @ 2:06PM|#

JLM | April 18, 2008, 1:14pm | #

Am I the only one that sniffed a Sharpie after reading this to see what it smelled like?

I think I'll cross-post that to a cop-talk website.

JLM is going to be SO surprised at 3 AM on Sunday.

|4.18.08 @ 2:07PM|#

Next on the nanny-state no fun list;

spinning around to get dizzy

rubbing eyes to get the kaleidoscopic visual effect

Instead they circle the wagons and insist that their actions, no matter how objectively idiotic, were perfectly justified in the circumstances, what with the grave danger that [fill in the blank] poses to the youth of America

ANd this is the main reason why MANY MANY lawsuits happen in America. The unwillingness of entities (government, corporate, individuals etc) to just admit that mistakes were made or that the policy needs to be revisited or whatever.

Chicago Tom -- I think, for the most part, you're confusing cause and effect. In America, admitting you did something stupid and apologizing sets you up for a lawsuit -- a lawsuit you will lose because you effing admitted liability.

The lawyers are driving much of this behavior, though, yes, sometimes NOT apologizing will get you sued too. It's playing legal Russian Roulette trying to decide whether doing the right thing will backfire or not.

|4.18.08 @ 2:08PM|#

Have you ever heard of a case like this where school officials apologized and admitted they overreacted?

Perhaps not an apology and an admission of an overreaction, but I've seen school officials admit they were wrong.

http://www.firstamendmentcenter.org/news.aspx?id=12916

bill|4.18.08 @ 2:11PM|#

You know it's written right on the side of a Sharpie "non-toxic". Does anyone know the chemical that gives it it's smell?

TallDave|4.18.08 @ 2:11PM|#

The rationale in that case (to the extent that one can be divined) was that, while you can't actually use ibuprofen tablets to get high, they sorta look like things (hydrocodone, Valium, MDMA, etc.) that you can use to get high.

SEIZE ALL M&MS AND SKITTLES NOW!!

Please God, won't someone think of the children?!?!?!

|4.18.08 @ 2:11PM|#

"Even if you can score a commercial grade set, it's just not worth going there these days. I've seen too many people slip into buying whatever they can score that weekend. When insensible in the hallway of some stranger's apartment, the acrid scent of the ammonium chloride from the "licorice" you just did is burning in your rainbow-colored nose, you'll wish you'd never tried to go back."

You owe me the Coca Cola I just ruined by snorting it back into the can and out of my nose at the same time.

TallDave|4.18.08 @ 2:13PM|#

Experimentation with markers is a proven gateway to crayon addiction.

lawl

|4.18.08 @ 2:18PM|#

"The good ones come from Mexico and they smell just like you remember from when you were a kid"

I'm in Venezuela and I'm sniffing a marker as I type.... Nice... The smell kinda sticks in your throat...Coworkers are looking at me strangely...

Dave W.|4.18.08 @ 2:22PM|#

You owe me the Coca Cola

Coca Cola used to smell good, too.

|4.18.08 @ 2:23PM|#

Chicago Tom -- I think, for the most part, you're confusing cause and effect. In America, admitting you did something stupid and apologizing sets you up for a lawsuit -- a lawsuit you will lose because you effing admitted liability.

I disagree with this. I have seen this stated before, but I don't buy it. In fact, there have been lots of studies recently in regards to medical malpractice that showed that patients are less likely to sue if doctors would apologize or admit when mistakes happen.
I've also seen studies like this that refute the whole "don't apologize or say anything that might indicate fault after an auto-accident".

Most people are reasonable. They understand that mistakes happen. But they get pissed when those who make mistakes want to ignore them or pretend "oh that's not a bug...that's a feature". Most people DON'T want to sue. (it is a hassle and can be costly) Most people really get motivated to sue when they start to feel powerless/helpless and feel they are being victimized or taken advantage of. Refusing to admit a mistake and to take proper steps to remedy that mistake push people to sue.

I'm sure that there are some who will treat an apology like a cause for a lawsuit, but I don't think that's the majority of the cases. Apologizing doesn't set you up for a lawsuit, being a douchebag and acting like you are infallible and whoever questions your mistakes sets you up for a lawsuit.

Even in this example. The fact that the school insists that there is something wrong with smelling a marker that one can't get high off of, and insists on disregarding toxicologists that contradict the schools position would cause me to sue their asses. If they would have said "in light of this new information, our bad. Let's do what's best for the kid and get him back into school as soon as possible" most people would consider that an appropriate response.

|4.18.08 @ 2:30PM|#

Whatever happened to model airplane glue?

Am I waxing nostalgic for a simpler time?

Bronwyn|4.18.08 @ 2:38PM|#

I'm waxing nostalgic about Radley's post on this topic on April 4th. Several of us wrote letters...

looks as though none of us received replies, and none of us got our message across to any effect.

Poo

|4.18.08 @ 2:40PM|#

"Whatever happened to model airplane glue?

Am I waxing nostalgic for a simpler time?"

Built many a model airplane in my day, WWII fighters were my favorite subject. I always used the Testors tube glue or the bottled liquid, not the lemon smelling crap that couldn't stick 2 things together if your life depended on it.

The glue smell did not appeal to me and I had to have a window open or I would get a major headache.

|4.18.08 @ 2:44PM|#

That's a very stupid principal.
SNAFU.

RSDavis|4.18.08 @ 2:45PM|#

I would give a nontrivial probability to the likelyhood that freedom files first found out about this from reading Reason.

Nope. When I find something here, I attribute it. For instance, I passed on the photo of the NAZI Olympic question earlier this morning, with a link back here.

Instead of guessing, check out the blog for yourself.

- Rick

|4.18.08 @ 2:46PM|#

"Coca Cola used to smell good, too."

I know that when I used to get the ice cold 6 1/2 oz. bottles of Coke for a nickel when I was a kid and take a big swig, it brought tears to my eyes. Coke now days doesn't do that and I miss it.

JD|4.18.08 @ 2:49PM|#

"That's a very serious marker"? GTFO. Is this guy seriously a member of a comedy troupe cleverly disguised as a principal?

rana: It's entirely possible that gasoline did smell different. Many lead compounds taste sweet (which is what makes them especially dangerous around little kids) so it wouldn't surprise me if they smelled sweet in leaded gasoline too.

zoot allures|4.18.08 @ 2:50PM|#

What is it with Colorado and its schools? Is it the lack of oxygen?

Taktix®|4.18.08 @ 2:51PM|#

I know that when I used to get the ice cold 6 1/2 oz. bottles of Coke for a nickel when I was a kid and take a big swig, it brought tears to my eyes

Did you drink it with your Whaa-burger and French Cries?

|4.18.08 @ 2:52PM|#

I remember when my conservative dad told me that 'Mad' magazine would "warp my mind" while they extolled the virtues of sniffing glue (circa 1975).

'Mad' turned out to be a gateway drug as I soon left it for the hard shit - 'National Lampoon'.

Sadly - they are both irrelevant today....

Dave W.|4.18.08 @ 2:58PM|#

I disagree with this.

Thank you for making this point, and making it well, ChicagoTom! I was tempted to say what you sed, but you sed it better.

douglas gray|4.18.08 @ 3:00PM|#

The position of principal at Harris Park Elementary School could probably be handled adequately by a volunteer aid with good judgement, or at least a minimum wage employee. If this is what he does, can't the school system save money by perhaps eliminating the position?

|4.18.08 @ 3:03PM|#

Not be rude, but when I was in college the education majors weren't the sharpest knives in the drawer. I used to rank them right above the phys ed folks but below hospitality management, until I found out phys ed majors had to take actual medical classes.

Hell, they all probably wound up making more money than I do.

Windypundit|4.18.08 @ 3:05PM|#

"[T]here have been lots of studies recently in regards to medical malpractice that showed that patients are less likely to sue if doctors would apologize or admit when mistakes happen."

Less likely to sue, yes, but probably more likely to win because of the admission of fault.

Our legislatures could probably fix this with law saying that a spontaneous apology and offer of compensation cannot be used as evidence of fault in a civil suit. After all, the same thing passed through a lawyer---i.e. a settlement offer---cannot be used as evidence.

|4.18.08 @ 3:16PM|#

When I was in elementary school everyone had to have their own set of colored markers to use for art projects. The school did not supply them. It was a status symbol to have a set of those delicious fruit-scented markers. I don't remember the brand and I never had my own. But I smelled them every chance I got. That was the point of them, after all. I guess those would be forbidden now. And yeah, we loved to smell fresh mimeographs as well.

|4.18.08 @ 3:27PM|#

A simple fix would be for kids to start sniffing markers whenever this principle can see them. Force him to choose between being an idiot and wising up. Three days out of school will be a great incentive for the kids as well. I bet it would catch on and half the school population would start doing it.

Bronwyn|4.18.08 @ 3:30PM|#

Vanessa,

Mr. Sketch

Go ahead and get some. It's a memory worth reliving :)

|4.18.08 @ 3:34PM|#

For those of you who were wondering whether they still sell scented markers:

http://www.officedepot.com/a/products/203034/Washable-Watercolor-Markers-Scented-Assorted-Colors/

|4.18.08 @ 3:39PM|#

'Wow, that's a very serious marker'

No, this is a serious marker.

T|4.18.08 @ 3:43PM|#

Sweet! Between this and the lawn darts suggestion, I've got Christmas for the younglings almost completely taken care of. One more thread and I should have it.

|4.18.08 @ 3:45PM|#

A simple fix would be for kids to start sniffing markers whenever this principle can see them...

Opps. I meant unprincipled principal of course.

Dave W.|4.18.08 @ 4:04PM|#

a spontaneous apology and offer of compensation cannot be used as evidence of fault in a civil suit

are you aware of any real life cases where a spontaneous apology has been used in this fashion?

Fluffy|4.18.08 @ 4:12PM|#

OK, usually I go berserk about these school-setting absurdities, but just this once I am going to play Devil's Advocate.

Perhaps with children below a certain age, blanket prohibitions on certain activities are appropriate, in order to make the bucket big enough to stop dangerous activities, while keeping the rule simple enough for a 7 year old to understand it.

Let's say that we want to make sure that none of the kids eats any of the poisonous mushrooms that sometimes grow in the soccer field. We could try to teach a bunch of 7 year old kids what mushrooms are harmful and what ones aren't, or we could simply forbid utterly the eating of any mushroom found in the soccer field.

A kid might break that rule one day, but not hurt himself, because he was lucky enough to eat a palatable mushroom and not a poisonous one. But despite the lack of toxicity in the mushroom he actually ate, we might want to stil punish him, in order to maintain a rule that protects the students from doing something potentially harmful.

Dog\'s New Clothes|4.18.08 @ 4:27PM|#

No, this is a serious marker.

This is an even more serious marker:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056119/

Windypundit|4.18.08 @ 4:30PM|#

"are you aware of any real life cases where a spontaneous apology has been used in this fashion?"

No, but I haven't been looking. It's pretty clear that people are worried about it, however.

For example, my car insurance company tells me not to admit fault, and I'm pretty sure that doctors are told by their malpractice carriers to admit nothing if they make a mistake.

I've read summaries of lawsuits where it seems like the problem could have been dealt with quite simply, but the defendent suddenly stopped talking to the plaintiff---obviously for legal reasons---and the plaintiff had no choice but to sue.

|4.18.08 @ 5:51PM|#

I've read summaries of lawsuits where it seems like the problem could have been dealt with quite simply, but the defendent suddenly stopped talking to the plaintiff---obviously for legal reasons---and the plaintiff had no choice but to sue.

Which kind of reinforces my point. Instead of choosing to engage with the aggrieved. they decided to just play defense. And the aggrieved feels backed into a corner.

Obviously there are exceptions, but I think treating people with valid complaints with respect rather than disdain goes a long way to avoid costly litigation.

|4.18.08 @ 7:33PM|#

It's quite possible to correct a mistake for a customer without admitting you made a mistake...it happens in every private business every day. "Because we value you as a customer, we'll pay for repairs to your windshield wiper blades." I used to say it every friggin day working at the car wash, and we never admitted it was our fault that their wiper blades broke off in the car wash.

For some reason, public school bureaucrats don't seem to get the same training. Surprise.

|4.18.08 @ 8:03PM|#

OK, usually I go berserk about these school-setting absurdities, but just this once I am going to play Devil's Advocate...
Let's say that we want to make sure that none of the kids eats any of the poisonous mushrooms that sometimes grow in the soccer field. We could try to teach a bunch of 7 year old kids what mushrooms are harmful and what ones aren't, or we could simply forbid utterly the eating of any mushroom found in the soccer field.

I'll play with the devil.
Teach something to a bunch of 7 year olds? That's down right crazy. You would need a school or something for that. How about instead of teaching kids not to put their fingers in light sockets we just ban all electricity? Problem solved.

|4.18.08 @ 8:17PM|#

Let's say that we want to make sure that none of the kids eats any of the poisonous mushrooms that sometimes grow in the soccer field. We could try to teach a bunch of 7 year old kids what mushrooms are harmful and what ones aren't, or we could simply forbid utterly the eating of any mushroom found in the soccer field.

What are the mushrooms in your analogy? Just markers, or anything that has a novel smell?

If the former, that's silly because sniffing any sort of marker is highly unlikely to be dangerous. If the latter, you're forbidding utterly a gigantic part of normal childhood experience.

thoreau|4.18.08 @ 8:32PM|#

+1 What Chris Potter said.

Yeah, there's probably a case out there where some asshole took a courteous offer of help as an admission of guilt and tried to make a case out of it, but I'll bet that the cases where it avoided further hassle (and perhaps even ensured repeat business) far outweigh the cases of jerks turning a gracious offer against you.

When my wife caused a car accident, she was clearly at fault, and we did everything we could to keep the driver and passenger of the other car happy that rainy evening. We knew our insurance rates were going up because of the fault, and we were just trying to make sure that we didn't get the double whammy of a lawsuit above and beyond the insurance claim. Irate people sue. People who feel like they're being treated fairly don't.

M|4.18.08 @ 8:50PM|#

Markerism is the opiate of the school administrators.

Capitalist M|4.18.08 @ 8:51PM|#

No! The markeret will solve everything.

|4.19.08 @ 12:01AM|#

Hey, Thanks Bronwyn & Michael! I might have to pick some up tomorrow.

It says they are safe...but can we trust them?

Lost in Paradise|4.19.08 @ 3:33AM|#

For the health and safety of my children, I am so glad to be have left the USA. You North American residents deserve the protection you have been demanding.

JD|4.19.08 @ 9:19AM|#

I'm curious what paradise you ended up in, LiP...

Oh, and Happy Patriot's Day, everybody.

B|4.19.08 @ 10:49PM|#

Thank God this shit wasn't the norm when I was that age. The whole fucking school would have been sent home for sniffing "dittos", the term we gave to those mimeographed sheets that were handed out. There is a scene in the movie "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" that perfectly recreates this.

|4.20.08 @ 12:00PM|#

The most overused phrase in the English language?

dazzling urbanite|4.20.08 @ 7:56PM|#

Thank god I don't live in the sticks. Man, there should be a law against hicks.

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