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After Tackling Subprime Loans, Bin Laden's Band Now Takes on Pakistani Prez
In what is surely the least anticipated audio release since the late Pope John Paul II's Gregorian rap LP Abba Pater, Osama Bin Laden's "deputy," Ayman al-Zawahri, has a new tape that's about to pollute the airwaves.
In his last single, Bin Laden channeled Ditech and Ronald Reagan, declaiming both high interest rates and high taxes, making common cause with all of us groaning "under the burden of interest-related debts, insane taxes and real estate mortgages." Islam, he averred, was not just attractive because it alone fulfills the will of Allah, but because it's easy on the wallet: ""There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."
Now, in a "sophisticated 80-minute video," the Professor Griff of al Qaeda is going after a different target:
Al-Zawahri began by condemning the Pakistani military's July assault on Islamic militants who took over the Red Mosque in Islamabad, and he paid tribute to one of the militants' leaders, Abdul Rashid Ghazi, who was killed in the fighting.
The siege "revealed the extent of the despicableness, lowliness and treason of Musharraf and his forces, who don't deserve the honor of defending Pakistan, because Pakistan is a Muslim land, whereas the forces of Musharraf are hunting dogs under (President) Bush's crucifix," al-Zawahri said.
"Let the Pakistani army know that the killing of Abdul Rashid Ghazi and his male and female students ... has soaked the history of the Pakistan army in shame and despicableness which can only washed away by retaliation," he said.
Whether this will help or hurt Musharraf is anyone's guess, though the guy is barely hanging on as it is.
The Artist Formerly Known as T|9.20.07 @ 7:58AM|#
"Whether this will help or hurt Musharraf is anyone's guess,
though the guy is barely hanging on as it is."
Musharraf is gonna be cookies.
|9.20.07 @ 8:10AM|#
If by "cookies", you mean the target of that peace-loving group
of religious fanatic (potential redundency there) Muslims
(confirmed redundency there).
CB
edna|9.20.07 @ 8:23AM|#
soaked the history of the Pakistan army in shame and
despicableness which can only washed away by retaliation
that's a fabulous line, it really is. the poetry of homicide.
Mike Laursen|9.20.07 @ 8:31AM|#
Seems to me that by commenting on Pakistan's government rather than subprime lending, al Qaeda is getting back to staying on point.
Elemenope|9.20.07 @ 8:44AM|#
Yeah, OBL and Nancy can do video PSAs together; it'll be like a time-warp to the '80s.
george|9.20.07 @ 9:51AM|#
Earn daily 100 usd it is not joke
For more details please visit http://www.rreklam.com
|9.20.07 @ 9:55AM|#
Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?
If Al-Zawahri is the Professor Griff of AQ, does that make the
footsoldier terrorist operatives the S2Ws or the 9-8 posse?
Episiarch|9.20.07 @ 10:02AM|#
Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?
Whichever one of them wears a huge Islamic crescent around his neck
at all times. Duh.
|9.20.07 @ 10:05AM|#
Whichever one of them wears a huge Islamic crescent around
his neck at all times. Duh.
I knew Ali G was a sleeper agent!
|9.20.07 @ 10:12AM|#
Al Qaeda's latest stuff is a total sellout.
Their first few releases were really good.
I don't think you've heard any of them.
Episiarch|9.20.07 @ 10:22AM|#
I knew Ali G was a sleeper agent!
Ain't dat a bit racialist? Is it 'cos I is black? Respek.
thoreau|9.20.07 @ 10:29AM|#
If Osama Bin Laden wants to tackle companies that push your
refrigerator delivery back by 5 days and don't tell you until the
last minute, I might be receptive.
I declare Home Depot to be an abomination in the eyes of Allah.
|9.20.07 @ 10:41AM|#
"...and the gutters that come off the house only one year after
they were installed, we do not have in Islam.
Nor does Islam accept the cheap shoelaces with the the plastic bit
that comes off, so you can't put them back through the little hole.
This is an abomination in the eyes of the Prophet (PBUH).
Also, the people who order six sandwiches at the Dunkin Donuts
drivethrough at 8:51 AM - the infidels suffer them to live in their
homes, but they are not to found in Dar-al-Islam..."
|9.20.07 @ 10:55AM|#
Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?
Adam Gadahn? He'd be my guess.
I love this bit: "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is
a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."
Yeah, unless you're a conquered infidel, in which case we tax the
fuck out of you.
|9.20.07 @ 11:39AM|#
Yeah, unless you're a conquered infidel, in which case we
tax the fuck out of you
A death tax?
VM|9.20.07 @ 11:51AM|#
sounds more like a sex tax...
(you know, you need tacks to keep it up. Thank you. I'll be hier
all week. Tip the fish. Try the waitress)
|9.20.07 @ 12:49PM|#
A death tax?
No, it's an "infidel tax" called the jizyah (or some such
transliteration).
|9.20.07 @ 1:23PM|#
Who's the Flava Flav of al Qaeda?
I can't answer that, but given his pontifications, I'd say OBL is
the Chuck D of Al Qaeda. Richard Reid is their Vanilla Ice.
VM|9.20.07 @ 1:45PM|#
hier
is a pic of OBL and his Al Qaeda twaddlenocks.
It's not about Chuck D, Vanilla Ice, etc., it's about Boss Clown,
Le Clown Gordoon, TJ Tatters, Bucky and Gigi, Bozo, and Lorenzo
Pickle.
|9.20.07 @ 2:11PM|#
VM - how is Vanilla Ice not included with the group you
mentioned?
Also, you forgot Shakes.
|9.20.07 @ 2:55PM|#
You didn't see nothing old man. We're just five happy party clowns, sitting down to a plate of beef. White... powdery... beef.
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