Jacob Sullum | August 14, 2007
A Stockholm police officer recently forced Tomislav Boduljak, a well-built 27-year-old, to undergo a drug test because he had "unusually large muscles, particularly large arm muscles, which are a sign of steroid use." She did not buy Boduljak's cover story. "I asked if she didn't think it possible that I work out a lot and eat well," he told Metro. "She said that if someone looks like me, she assumes they have taken drugs." A narc with the Stockholm Police called the officer "a bit too ambitious."
[Thanks to Frank Booth for the tip.]
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I believe acne and shrunken testicles are also symptoms of steroid use...he should have asked the nice officer if she'd like to check those, also...
First they came for the really ripped
and I did not speak out
for I was a scrawny nerd.
hey
let's go after the scrawny nerds first, they'll be a lot less
trouble and we can kick sand in their faces at the same time
Dan, ask and ye shall receive:
http://blogmuscle.wordpress.com/2007/08/13/sweden-man-arrested-for-having-big-muscles/
This situation kind of reminds me of my own predicament. I am so damn handsome, I have people come up to me all the time and ask "what kind of plastic surgery have you had that makes you so good-looking". It has become very annoying.
"First they came for the really ripped
and I did not speak out
for I was a scrawny nerd"
Haha. This was quite amusing. Pretty soon, they may make
individuals wear a patch depicting Arnold on their clothes.
"http://blogmuscle.wordpress.com/2007/08/13/sweden-man-arrested-for-having-big-muscles"
Sweden must be a scrawny country indeed if this man is considered
ripped enough to be arrested for steroid use.
So, now if you're ripped, you're suspect. And of course, if you're scrawny and pale, that could also be a sign of drug use. Could these be a plot on the part of the obese? Payback for the ban on transfats? The twinkie's revenge?
"http://blogmuscle.wordpress.com/2007/08/13/sweden-man-arrested-for-having-big-muscles"
Sweden must be a scrawny country indeed if this man is considered
ripped enough to be arrested for steroid use.
Yeah, I'm not jacked by anyone's definition, and my arms about the
same size as his.
There's gotta be more to this that'll never come out about what went on between them.
My reaction to the photo is, that's a guy who works out, but he
doesn't look like a steroid junkie to me.
-jcr
"So, now if you're ripped, you're suspect. And of course, if
you're scrawny and pale, that could also be a sign of drug
use."
And if you are perfectly average, you are obviously trying to hide
something and evade the police. Check him twice.
What if the Swedish cops start checking out dudes for
recreational (non-medical) use of Viagra, etc.?
Actually, if the Swedish girl-cop is a hot blonde, this has
definite porno potential ...
Swedish Viagra Policewoman Squad!
Greg und I ere-a freeends. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I nefer peeed Greg fur unytheeng. ... Yuoo're-a gueeng tu breeng up ducooments und mure-a ducooments. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I hefe-a nefer seee unytheeng vreettee by Greg Undersun oon a peeece-a ooff peper. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp! I nefer esked Greg ebuoot vhet zee prudoocts cunteeened. Bork bork bork! Vhee he-a seeed it ves flexseed ooeel, I joost seeed, 'Vhetefer. Hurty flurty schnipp schnipp!' It ves in zee bellperk ... in frunt ooff iferybudy. Bork bork bork! I meun, ell zee repurters, my teemmetes. Um gesh dee bork, bork! I meun, zeey ell sev it. Um de hur de hur de hur. I deedn't heede-a it. Um de hur de hur de hur.
She thought the large bulge in my pants was abnormal and could not believe it was not enhanced by an illegal cock ring or perpetual penis pump.
I must confess that I like these stories because they tend to show that it's not just the good old USA that's full of batshit crazy people but the whole world.
Maybe the officer wanted a date, and being a stupid fucking pig,
thought this was a good way to get it?
Of course, pictures of the officer would be needed to determine the
probability of this.
"What if the Swedish cops start checking out dudes for
recreational (non-medical) use of Viagra, etc.?"
If Viagra wasn't formulated for recreational use, why was it
made?
In America, we're above this and only accuse black baseball players with large muscles of illegal steriod use.
...So there I was, producing a urine sample in front of her when
things got interesting. Her partner, a tall red head with legs to
die for, bursted in. "What the hell is going on here?" she
demanded. "I'm testing him for steriods", the blond explained.
That's when the red head took matters into her own hand. "Just look
at these. There's no way a junkie could have a package this big. By
your logic I should force you to pee in a cup to prove your breasts
weren't enhanced by estrogen injections." ...
That night made me a true believer in your letters.
In America, we're above this and only accuse black baseball
players with large muscles of illegal steriod use.
Wait a minute. Jason Giambi is black?
http://blogmuscle.wordpress.com/2007/08/13/sweden-man-arrested-for-having-big-muscles
Holy crap, I'm bigger than that guy. Steroids my ass. I know plenty
of guys who never take anything but whey protein and make that guy
look like a skeleton.
Here's someone
who's ripped*.
*Man in tiny knickers. Beware.
One thing seems universal, though: the thin blue line.
The man's complaint against the officer resulted in, you guessed
it, nothing.
"Maybe the officer wanted a date, and being a stupid fucking
pig, thought this was a good way to get it?"
Interesting theory. You mean she thought he'd be flattered that she
was so enamored of his muscles that she (disingenuously) took him
in for a urine test? Crazy as it seems, it's as good as any other
explanation I can think of -- because I can't think of any
others.
There was no indication the guy was engaged in any sporting
competition other than dating, was there?
Most swedes are lanky and skinny.
And generally have no rhythm.
(Except in fast-double bass kick drumming technique and
neo-classical shred metal licks.)
If Viagra wasn't formulated for recreational use, why was it
made?
Heh! Just in case this is a serious inquiry, I believe the strictly
medical use is for treating dudes suffering from E.D. ("erectile
dysfunction," or in certain special cases, "Elizabeth Dole").
However, it is my understand that some guys not suffering from E.D.
take Viagra purely to make their boners more long-lasting or more
easily ready for action, which is what I meant by "purely
recreational use."
If anyone else needs a mini-essay explaining one of my tepid jests,
just let me know! I got a million of 'em.
"In America, we're above this and only accuse black baseball
players with large muscles of illegal steriod use."
Tell me about it. Mark McGuire was born a poor black boy...
If Viagra wasn't formulated for recreational use, why was it made?
Just in case this is a serious inquiry, I believe the strictly medical use is for treating dudes suffering from E.D. ("erectile dysfunction," or in certain special cases, "Elizabeth Dole").
Originally, Viagra (sildenafil citrate) was originally designed to
combat high blood pressure. It didn't work very well for that, but
researchers noticed that recipients of the drug experienced
erections. So they shifted the focus of the research and voila!
Boner pills!
Stevo's right, though - now it's for "erectile dysfunction" (which,
by the way, is a real condition - it's not just fancy doctor-speak
for "wants to have four-hour erections to impress the neighbors").
The story shines an interesting light on unintended - yet positive
- outcomes.
The most amusing thing about the steroids hysteria in baseball
is the ironic twist that a whole bunch of asterisks could be
introduced the result of which would have Roger Maris as the single
season home run record holder.
As much as I loathe the Bob Costas asterisk crowd, that's almost
too good to pass up...
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