Gateway Gum: Mojito Mint

Orbit has introduced a mojito-flavored gum, which a consumer watchdog group fears will be a gateway gum for kids. One chew of mojito gum and little Timmy will be climbing out of his bedroom window to drink overpriced rum cocktails in no time:

"It's something I'd call mildly reprehensible, and it'll almost certainly lead to others going further," said a spokesman for the Marin Institute, the watchdog group. "It's sad they need to name it like an alcoholic beverage to sell it."

Naturally, a spokesman for the agency that created the ads begs to differ, pointing out that every damn thing--from jellybeans to Slurpees--is already pina colada flavored, so mojito is hardly worse. Also,"We're aiming for [an audience in their] early 20s," he said. "This was never a teen brand."

The real reason for mojito-flavored gum?:

Breath-freshening Orbit is running out of names for mint-based flavors. The current stable includes bubblemint, winter mint, peppermint, spearmint, cinnamint, sweet mint, citrus mint, raspberry mint -- and now mint mojito -- which perhaps has a better ring to it than "lime-sugar-and-rum mint."

Read Jacob's take on a slightly more risque candy, marijuana lollipops.

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  • ||

    How can something be "mildly reprehensible"?

    As far the name goes, these watchdog groups really need to get a grip.

  • lunchstealer||

    So is Jelly Belly marketing a gateway to eating dirt, earwax, and boogers in their Harry Potter's Every Flavor Beans?

  • ||

    Wow, I wondered how long it would take for some "watchdog" to hop on this bandwagon. I just didn't expect it so soon. Wonder when they are going to start calling for the renaming of Butterscotch candies and Strawberry Daiquiri Jelly Beans.

  • lunchstealer||

    Not to mention the "Finlandia" and "Absolut" chocolates - filled with vodka - that I brought back my last trip to the Baltic.

  • ||

    I don't buy the "gateway" theory.

    I know this is anecdotal, but my father used to drink Coors Light, and he never moved onto consuming human urine.

  • Guy Montag||

    Sounds like the paint-naming folks go to the same advertising classes as the gum-naming folks, but probably get lower grades.

    Dodge called the PPG automobile paint color F-5 2461, "Bright Yellow Green Poly" in 1972. Dupont calls it "Lime Green Metallic" today.

  • ||

    I'll buy the gum just because I like saying the word.

    MOE-HEEEEEEE-TOE

  • Timothy||

    Excuse me: Little Timmy moved on to juleps or straight whiskey, thanks. Rum? Bah.

  • ||

    joe,
    I believe that's the funniest thing you've ever written.

    BTW, is it bad that I had to wiki mojito?

  • thoreau||

    joe wins the thread.

  • ||

    As a child one of my favorite flavors of candy was rum raisin. Now as an adult I think rum tastes gross, but I don't mind to taste of vodka, whiskey or even gin. Based on this anecdotal evidence I think these teetolars are way off base in their denouncement of this gum. If anything they should encourage candies to be named after alcohols. That way when kids first try the alcohol they will say "This tastes NOTHING like mojito-mint; this is actually pretty gross". Alcoholism problem solved.

  • Anon||

    Mojitos? If it is a gateway, little Timmy will may end in in South Beach, dating a guy named Zane.

  • :-||

    joe wins the thread

    Do we stop now, then?

  • ||

    Also, I kind of like Coors Light.

  • dhex||

    btw, a well-made mojito (i.e. made by someone who is familiar with the real deal) is very awesome, but a total brain punch. muy fuerte!

  • ||

    joe,

    Urine is such a strong word to use for Coors Light. Maybe watered-down urine would be more appropriate. Michelob ULTRA has a similar quality.

    Mojitos are quite good, when made properly. There's a place in Ybor City that makes them very well. I'm still partial to Mint Juleps, though, on those rare occasions when I drink. Actually, I should say on those even rarer occasions when I feel the need to add mint to my drink.

  • ||

    Pro Lib,

    I had a Mojito over at the Columbia Restaurant. It was quite yummy and refreshing.

  • ||

    jimmydageek,

    Try Big City Tavern in Centro Ybor--they do a very nice mojito. Then go to Samurai Blue and have the Spontaneous Combustion roll. Mmmmmmmmm.

  • ||

    You mean it isn't bubble gum flavored booze?? Stupid sexy Fox News.

  • ||

    Lamar,

    Nah, it's just human sex-pheromone scented. Nothing to worry about!

  • ||

    To all those lavishing praise on Mojitos: Yeah, but did you chew mojito-flavored gum as a kid? I didn't think so.

  • ||

    No, no, I did not. I chewed Jack Daniels' flavored gum.

  • ||

    I swear I'm not nutz. Fox News reported that drug dealers were selling (to your children) candy-flavored drugs, when the story was really about drug-flavored candy. Why can't I get any resonance on this? Is it my obnoxious, yet innocent, foot odor?

  • ||

    erm...risking sounding dumb...WTF is a spontaneous combustion roll??

  • ||

    Brilliant use of the word "strong," Pro Lib.

  • VM||

    jimmydageek:

    a glock lovingly covered in HFCS then twice baked in a nice, flaky butter crust. Add some shredded cabbage and carrots. Some water chestnuts. And bake for 20 minutes. It will discharge magnificent flavor in your mouth. Served with our special mustard, it'll blow your head off!

  • ||

    Someone offered me a piece of this gum at a party last week. It has an interesting taste, with a hint of citrus.

  • ||

    It's one of Samurai Blue's specialty rolls. I don't know exactly what's in it, other than grouper and spicy mayonnaise. I think there's some tuna in it, too. It's really good, though. They do a great Hawaiian roll, as well.

  • ||

    OK Lamar, I'll share your outrage.

    STUPID FOX NEWS,
    YOU BASTARDS!

  • ||

    The real reason for mojito-flavored gum?:

    Breath-freshening Orbit is running out of names for mint-based flavors. The current stable includes bubblemint, winter mint, peppermint, spearmint, cinnamint, sweet mint, citrus mint, raspberry mint -- and now mint mojito -- which perhaps has a better ring to it than "lime-sugar-and-rum mint."


    I think we can actually help with this, but coming up with additional names for various mint flavors, e.g.:

    - Franklin mint
    - govern mint
    - pave mint
    - establish mint
    - disburse mint
    - oh no you dih-uh-mint

    Others? Help me.

  • ||

    Joe's right about the gateway thing. I've heard that 4 out of 5 Budweiser drinkers prefer beer.

  • ||

    Redistribumint

  • ||

    VM,

    No, wrong. Don't mock my sushi. Interesting side note: The most famous case of human spontaneous combustion--whatever that is--occurred in St. Petersburg. Coincidence? I think not.

    joe,

    My mom drank The Liquid with Less Taste and Kick than Water, too. Yes, I raided it on occasion, but it was awful, and I was a stupid, desperate teenager. Never could figure out the whole "Coors" thing, light or otherwise.

    Stevo,

    Honorable mintion.
    Fourth dimintion.
    Antidisestablishmintarianism
    Demintia.
    Experimint.

  • ||

    Stevo,

    I've actually consumed a mint product called "indict-mints."

  • ||

    Unmintionables.
    Retiremint.
    Mint & Run.

  • ||

    knot-wood-eye-mint

  • ||

    No commint.

  • ||

    Anybody here as old as me? I swear that back in the 70s, when Coors was bootlegged, and you had to go out west to buy it, it had a UNIQUE, decent taste. Now it tastes like generic American beer.

  • ||

  • ||

    Fermintation.

  • ||

  • ||

    Ooh! Sexual harass mint.

  • ||

    Libertarian (if that is your real name)
    Didn't they make a movie about that.

    "For the money, for the glory, and for the fun... Mostly for the money."

  • ||

    That's a good one.

    Lamintations of Der Vomen?

  • ||

    What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?

  • ||

  • ||

    Stevo,

    With the companion gum, Hostile Environmint.

  • ||

    What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?

    Mintsterbatin'

  • ||

    Mintal telepathy

    I never mint to hurt you

    Mintercourse

    Premintstrual syndrome

    Coitus minterruptus

  • ||

    That's what I mint to say.

  • ||

    Paymints with fringe benefmints.

  • VM||

    ProL:

    would never mock another man's sushi any more than I'd rub his rhubarb!

    mentos?

    hey. wait a sec. Creech - IT'S NOT DROOL

  • ||

    Envir-O-Mints

  • ||

    What isn't minterstate commerce?

  • ||

  • ||

    Minty Python.

  • ||

    I did a google image search for "Minty McGhee."

    NSFW. NSF anything. NS at all.

  • ||

    Lemme' think about that for a mint...

    CB

  • lunchstealer||

    I don't think these are the kinds commints that KMW mint for us to be postin'.

  • violent_k||

    Embarrassmint

  • lunchstealer||

    What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?

    Mintsterbatin'


    My momma told me that too much of that and you'd end up like these guys.

  • ||

    Stop! You're making me vomint.

    You varmints!

  • lunchstealer||

    Ooh! Sexual harass mint.

    That can lead to unemploy mint.

  • ||

    What should be our punishmint?

  • violent_k||

    Confinemint?

  • ||

    Coors, (not coors light) at room temp. That's what coors was designed to be.

    Henry Weinhards is a great room temp beer as well.
    some beer is just better that way.

  • ||

    In '79 a buddy and I flew from MA to CA to visit some other buddies. Slept on the red-eye leg from Bradley to DFW. Left DFW around sunrise and asked for a deck of cards and some beer. This drew a strange look from the stewer ... (oops) ... flight attendent, but she said she thought they had some Curs beer on board. Curs! Wow, we had heard about this legendary beer that you could only get out west. We awaited her return with much anticipation. Soon she arrived and brought our treasure. We marveled at the two press-in pop tops on the can (other beers still had detachable pop-tops). We toasted to our good fortune and took huge swigs from the cans. At this point words fail me. To say this legendary beer was underwhelming is a huge understatement. It wasn't that it was bad, because it wasn't, it's just that it tasted like soda water with slight beer flavor added. So we played rummy 500 and ridiculed the bantamweight beer while ordering another as soon as we had emptied the prior one (hey, at least it had alcohol in it.) After our 4th or 5th Curs, the flight attendent said there were no more. So we asked if there was anything else.
    .
    .
    .
    She said...
    .
    .
    .
    And I'm not making this up...
    .
    .
    .
    .
    She said they had...
    .
    .
    .
    Curs Light.

    We pretty much lost it after that.

  • ||

    Crunchy Frog...er...mint.

  • ||

    creech | April 17, 2007, 5:37pm | #
    What the heck is Moose Drool Beer a gateway to?


    Drinking more Moose Drool? Hanging out with a flying squirrel?

    I haven't had one in about 7 years.

  • Jennifer Emick||

    Wow, the margarita jello must really piss 'em off.

    It's not like this is a new thing...Baskin Robbins had a daquiri flavor from, what, forty years ago?

  • ||

    Imprisonmint - "There's no escaping Imprisonmint!"

    Soymint Green - "Oh, the huminity!"

    That's Mintertainment!

  • ||

    my father used to drink Coors Light, and he never moved onto consuming human urine.

    I've always thought Coors was pine needles and piss. From my perch, it looks like Dad went straight into mainlining.

  • lunchstealer||

    I just want to thank everyone for their commitmint to making me chortle.

  • ||

    We've provided amusmint!

  • ||

    or "amusemint"

    You leave one "e" out, it gets easy to leave out another.

  • ||

    Elemintary, my dear highnumber, elemintary.

  • ||

    Until I found you all, I thought I was pretty good with the puns. I'm a piker in this crowd. The whole thread has me thirsty, though. I need some refreshmint. (shuffles off to Buffalo, waving top hat and cane.)

  • Rich Lafferty||

    Meanwhile, Lifesavers have been available in Butter Rum for over fifty years.

  • M||

    Gubmint - (Eeeeew! Gross!!)

  • ||

    I used to eat mint julep candy when I was a kid. I never had any temptation to drink mint-flavored alcohol.

    I also used to eat butter rum Lifesavers which are delicious. I do drink rum, but I don't think the Lifesavers had anything to do with it. It did help me appreciate butterscotch (which has nothing to do with Scotch whiskey.)

    Amaretto flavored candy would be great.

  • ||

    Karen,

    We comminters thank you for the complimint. But our puns weren't mintentional.

  • Sandy||

    Clearly we need to contact Senator Jim DeMint.

  • Zach||

    But why is the rum gone?

  • ||

    "Every man's death de-mints-es me."

  • ||

    Mojitos are delicious! Anyone who has a problem with them should be sent to Gitmo.

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