Brian Doherty | March 14, 2006
Who can deny the literary genius of the "Brokeback Mountain" author's new shouting of truth to the power of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences in the UK's Guardian? Excerpts that say it all, with deep, penetrating insight and a sparkling command of language:
We should have known conservative heffalump academy voters would have rather different ideas of what was stirring contemporary culture....rumor has it that [Lionsgate] inundated the academy voters with DVD copies of Trash--excuse me--Crash a few weeks before the ballot deadline.
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As I was reading the article I was thinking: "Can you say sour
California grapes people?". Then I read the last sentence of the
article and had a nice smile.
For those who call this little piece a Sour Grapes Rant, play
it as it lays.
Yes, gay cowboys were on everyone's mind when "Brokeback" hit the theaters. It was like a blanket of prairie dust blowing across the American psyche. The spontaneous acts of sodomy in men's rooms from Topeka to Cody were proof of that. Proulx truly has her finger on the American pulse.
The reference to "heffalump" puzzled me until I remembered that
it's the name of an elephant-like monster in the Winnie-the-Pooh
mythos. Then I thought it was pretty clever.
Then I also remembered that heffalumps are actually the fevered
imaginings of a child-like mind, and then I thought it was even
more clever.
Hmm. wasn't this a Beatles' song at one time?
"Everyone does something that sucks, except for me and my
movie"
or something like that...
Jake
(who gets a little addled these days)
It was like a blanket of prairie dust blowing across the
American psyche
Off-topic, but at first glance I read that as "a blanket of prairie
dogs blowing..." And that image gave me my first laugh all day.
"Next year we can look to the awards for controversial
themes on the punishment of adulterers with a branding iron in the
shape of the letter A, runaway slaves, and the debate over free
silver."
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Yes, yes, because Brokeback
Candy Mountain had such newfangled idears as "ho-mo-sexuals", it
should have won on that merit alone---meanwhile, race is so last
century. Nobody cares abotu that anymore. Fags are where it's
at...and anyone who can't see that is living in the past,
man!
Just because your movie is about queers doesn't mean you should get
any special points, halfwit. Jesus, that article read like a
whining child's lament over getting second place at the spelling
bee. "The system cheated me! My word was so hard, but all Timmy
Tweed had to spell was "heffalump"! I could spell heffalump in my
sleep! I wuz rawwwwwwb'd! Mommmeeeee!!!" What a sore-loser
twat.
Number 6,
Incidentally, have you ever seen or petted (verb tense?) a prairie
dog? They are way cute. Too bad they carry some transmittable
disease that is fatal to humans.
Hey, now, Jamie Kelly -- don't be hating on sodomy. In the context of a monogamous relationship involving Jewel Staite, Salma Hayek, Allison Mack and, say, myself, it can be a beautiful, beautiful act.
So Ms. Proulx is peeved that Crash was voted over Brokeback
Mountain in achieving that all important standard of a year's best
film: "stirring contemporary culture".
I think Crash was a poor choice for Best Picture too, but only
because it was a bad movie. If your standard for best picture is
something besides that, then don't get riled up when odd choices
are made.
Stevo - hmm, you seem to like girls who are a little
more...plain? (Allison Mack and Jewel Staite.) Although I have to
admit I think they're both very cute, myself.
Now Salma Hayek...she is probably the most beautiful woman in the
world.
Speaking of Firefly/Serenity, though, I find Morena Baccarin to be
a knockout.
Then again, I don't worry myself over famous people too much. There
are so many beautiful women that I actually can meet that I just
don't have the time to salivate over celebs...at least most of the
time. :)
Studios are sending out DVDs? How long has this been going on?
If only the noble Brokeback Mountain studio had some way to
counteract such tactics.
This has turned out exactly as I thought, "X is wrong with
America/Academy voters/whoever because I didn't win everything I
was nominated for."
Studios are sending out DVDs? How long has this been going on?
If only the noble Brokeback Mountain studio had some way to
counteract such tactics.
This has turned out exactly as I thought, "X is wrong with
America/Academy voters/whoever because I didn't win everything I
was nominated for."
Two guys fucking equals automatic Oscar?
If that's the case then I want to know why Butt Fuck Studs Go
Nuts never won.
Arguments about which Oscar nominee won are always stupid
because they presume that the five nominees are the only data
points in popular culture. Ten years from now, Brokeback
and Crash will both be forgotten, or at best remembered
with the shame of a bad-hair yearbook photo, but people will still
be fondly watching their Smellivision® files of Sky High,
Unleashed, and Broken Flowers-and that's not even
mentioning Revenge of the Sith. None of those movies would
ever have gotten within ten miles of a Best Picture nom. Land
of the Dead didn't get nominated for anything, not even makeup
or special effects. Like everybody else, I get giddy as a
schoolgirl at Oscar time, but it's beyond pointless to argue as if
the nominees are a referendum on anything.
What's Proulx mad about, anyway? Brokeback won best
adapted screenplay, and she's the writer of the book, so what's she
got to complain about? In fact, why is Ang Lee griping when he won
best director? There's no satisfying some people!
Tell it how it is Tim! And don't forget this year's King Kong, truly a movie whose greatness will grow in the years to come.
Smacky-seen, but never petted. They are cute, but the image of a buffalo-herd like living carpet of prairie dogs tumbling across the plains struck me as funny for some reason.
Incidentally, have you ever seen or petted (verb tense?) a
prairie dog? They are way cute.
You know what's even cuter? Pikas. Squeeeeeeaaaal they're so cute!
I went supersonic the first time I saw one.
I am thinking, if Ms Proulx is sensitive to rejection, then she has
made a very unfortunate career choice.
You know what's even cuter? Pikas. Squeeeeeeaaaal they're so
cute! I went supersonic the first time I saw one.
Well, I love Pikachu too, but nope, I was thinking of pikas. I
think you say it like pie-ka.
http://www.pikaworks.com/pikas/photos.html
Too bad they carry some transmittable disease that is fatal
to humans.
The little cuties tend to have bubonic plague, but over the years
it has evolved to become semi-fatal rather than fatal.
And don't forget this year's King Kong, truly a movie whose
greatness will grow in the years to come.
That's probably the only one of these movies I'll ever see. There's
no arguing with a giant monkey.
temujin334 danced around the issue, but not directly. I thought
that it was common practice for the voters to get copies of
everything they vote on. I remember Roger Simon mentioning a couple
years in a row when they start coming in.
I think they have even started using extra copy protection to make
sure they don't get bootlegged, so much for trusting the
insiders.
Money quote from the Guardian piece: the passage where she blasts the Oscars for its "insufferable self-importance". High comedy.
If the award is crap and the Academy is crap... why
go?
Maybe for those goody gift bags they hand out that the IRS says are
worth $100,000 each?
Maybe Annie should donate hers to a noble cause.
lurker,
That number seemed way off to me, but apparently it is true, but
only for nominees (was she directly nominated?). Guests get a less
expensive bag, like
this.
anomdebus:
Oops, my bad. Apparently the big bags are for 'presenter and
performers'. There seem to be a batch of lesser bags for
'nominees', 'losers', and some cryptic group of those invited to
the 'after hours gifting suites'.
http://www.girlhacker.com/2006_03_01_archive.html
Seems to be considerable secrecy about who's on the beautiful
people list and gets what. (Strangely!) Wonder what Larry McMurty
got, if anything.
Not to disparage Proulx unfairly.
The little cuties tend to have bubonic plague
A few years ago some prairie dogs from a pet store transmitted
monkeypox to their new owners.
So no, you can't trust them. Their cuteness is just an act to get
you to touch them.
Like everybody else, I get giddy as a schoolgirl at Oscar
time
I hope your kidding; otherwise, how sad.
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