The Wrong Side Absolutely Must Not Win

The past several weeks have made one thing crystal-clear: Our country faces unmitigated disaster if the Other Side wins.

The past several weeks have made one thing crystal-clear: Our country faces unmitigated disaster if the Other Side wins.

No reasonably intelligent person can deny this. All you have to do is look at the way the Other Side has been running its campaign. Instead of focusing on the big issues that are important to the American People, it has fired a relentlessly negative barrage of distortions, misrepresentations, and flat-out lies.

Just look at the Other Side’s latest commercial, which take a perfectly reasonable statement by the candidate for My Side completely out of context to make it seem as if he is saying something nefarious. This just shows you how desperate the Other Side is and how willing it is to mislead the American People.

The Other Side also has been hammering away at My Side to release certain documents that have nothing to do with anything, and making all sorts of outrageous accusations about what might be in them. Meanwhile, the Other Side has stonewalled perfectly reasonable requests to release its own documents that would expose some very embarrassing details if anybody ever found out what was in them. This just shows you what a bunch of hypocrites they are.

Naturally, the media won’t report any of this. Major newspapers and cable networks jump all over anything they think will make My Side look bad. Yet they completely ignore critically important and incredibly relevant information that would be devastating to the Other Side if it could ever be verified.

I will admit the candidates for My Side do make occasional blunders. These usually happen at the end of exhausting 19-hour days and are perfectly understandable. Our leaders are only human, after all. Nevertheless, the Other Side inevitably makes a big fat deal out of these trivial gaffes, while completely ignoring its own candidates’ incredibly thoughtless and stupid remarks – remarks that reveal the Other Side’s true nature, which is genuinely frightening.

My Side has produced a visionary program that will get the economy moving, put the American People back to work, strengthen national security, return fiscal integrity to Washington, and restore our standing in the international community. What does the Other Side have to offer? Nothing but the same old disproven, discredited policies that got us into our current mess in the first place.

Don’t take my word for it, though. I recently read about an analysis by an independent, nonpartisan organization that supports My Side. It proves beyond the shadow of a doubt that everything I have been saying about the Other Side was true all along. Of course, the Other Side refuses to acknowledge any of this. It is too busy cranking out so-called studies by so-called experts who are actually  nothing but partisan hacks. This just shows you that the Other Side lives in its own little echo chamber and refuses to listen to anyone who has not already drunk its Kool-Aid.

Let’s face it: The Other Side is held hostage by a radical, failed ideology. I have been doing some research on the Internet, and I have learned this ideology was developed by a very obscure but nonetheless profoundly influential writer with a strange-sounding name who enjoyed brief celebrity several decades ago. If you look carefully, you can trace nearly all the Other Side’s policies for the past half-century back to the writings of this one person.

To be sure, the Other Side also has been influenced by its powerful supporters. These include a reclusive billionaire who has funded a number of organizations far outside the political mainstream; several politicians who have said outrageous things over the years; and an alarmingly large number of completely clueless ordinary Americans who are being used as tools and don’t even know it.

These people are really pathetic, too. The other day I saw a YouTube video in which My Side sent an investigator and a cameraman to a rally being held by the Other Side, where the investigator proceeded to ask some real zingers. It was hilarious! First off, the people at the rally wore T-shirts with all kinds of lame messages that they actually thought were really clever. Plus, many of the people who were interviewed were overweight, sweaty, flushed, and generally not very attractive. But what was really funny was how stupid they were. There is no way anyone could watch that video and not come away convinced the people on My Side are smarter, and that My Side is therefore right about everything.

Besides, it’s clear that the people on the Other Side are driven by mindless anger – unlike My Side, which is filled with passionate idealism and righteous indignation. That indignation, I hasten to add, is entirely justified. I have read several articles in publications that support My Side that expose what a truly dangerous group the Other Side is, and how thoroughly committed it is to imposing its radical, failed agenda on the rest of us.

That is why I believe 2012 is, without a doubt, the defining election of our lifetime. The difference between My Side and the Other Side could not be greater. That is why it absolutely must win on November 6.

This column originally appeared in the Richmond Times-Dispatch.

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  • rts||

    "Sides? I am on nobody's side because nobody's on my side, little Orc."

  • Scarecrow Repair||

    Nobody for President. Because nobody's better than My Guy.

  • The Last American Hero||

    I take it you're voting Green Party?

  • TheOilShill||

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    BUT WHICH IS THE OTHER SIDE? I must know. I don't want to accidentally vote for them.

  • Joe R.||

    It's the side that isn't yours.

  • ||

    America is about to experience a full fledged financial collaps and you know why? It's because the two party system is utterly corrupt, rotten to the core! Nieve conservatives buy into the lie that we have to vote for the person that the PARTY picks
    The inability of Americans to think outside the box is why we are in the mess we are in. The people are as much responsible for this mess as are the two parties.
    This news story in and of itself is GOP propaganda! Mitt Romney and Obama are both socialist!

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Speaking of such things, Krugabe accuses Paul Ryan of being a triumph of style over sub stance.

    I shit you not.

    You might want to be careful where those rocks land, perfessur.

  • Proprietist||

    Of course, that's also the first correct statement Krugman has made in years.

  • ||

    Yeah. Give him props where props is due.

  • The Hammer||

    Did John hack Hinkle's computer?

  • hk||

    Yes it seems so, fucking ridiculous.

  • R C Dean||

    The thing is, when Dems and Repubs both say "Our country faces unmitigated disaster if the Other Side wins", they are both right.

  • Pro Libertate||

    The true meaning of bipartisanship.

  • Tman||

    Whilst this is true, I guess we now have to decide from the following choices:

    A: Do you want the whole thing to go up in flames the fastest whereby we are comfy with Euro levels of unemployment and communism light, where only the government controls the means of production, thus turning us in to a majority welfare state?

    B: Do you want things to get slightly better, although still ignoring the elephant in the room, thus delaying the inevitable?

    Not sure which one I want.

  • Svoogle||

    Ahh, so the government controls the means of production in Europe? Communism light? is that the knowledge you guys purchase for several $100K in your oh so awesome education system? why are Americans so fucking retarded? Do you even know how stupid you sound to people from civilized nations?

  • dinkster||

    God save the queen?

  • hk||

    You're still socialists though.

    :]

  • Pippers||

    The irony is free market people going after unions.

  • Brett L||

    President Obama tuffgai!

  • Loki||

    Obama calls Marco Rubio "boy": "Tell your boy to watch it. He might get his ass kicked."

    You stay classy, big 0. Technically couldn't this be considered a physical threat, if one were to interpret it literally? I'm pretty sure if I said something about kicking some politician's ass, I could probably be arrested.

    Also, the idea of 0 being able to kick anyone's ass is laughably absurd. He probably wouldn't be able to take on one of his own daughter's in a fight. Especially considering they're half wookie.

  • Mike M.||

    Note that he didn't say HE would kick Rubio's ass.

    Coming from most politicians you could laugh this off as a ridiculous idle threat. But then I remember Andrew Breitbart, and a little chill runs down my spine once again.

  • Loki||

    Note that he didn't say HE would kick Rubio's ass.

    True. And God Kings never sully their hands with the blood of mere mortals.

  • Marshall Gill||

    Imagine saying this about the President. The Secret Service would have you in jail before day end.

  • carol||

    Meh. Marco would wipe the floor with Obama's sorry ass.

  • Hyperion||

    Just go for the ears, Rubio! The ears I tells ya!

  • The Late P Brooks||

    If 99 out of 100 people say, "The country is on the wrong track" that does not necessarily mean any subset of that sample larger than three actually agree on what the "right track" would be.

  • Brett L||

    See: Libertarians and the path to libertopia.

  • Russell||

    Vote Mobius :

    There is no other side.

  • ||

    Nice.

  • Almanian's Evil Twin||

    I'm telling you, Almanian 2012.

    "I'm Not The Wrong Side!"
    Vote for Almanian in 2012!

  • Chupacabra||

    Fuck you, and all of you Almanianists.

    I'm voting for Almanian's Evil Twin.

  • Enough About Palin||

    Almanian hires prostitutes just to beat them up when they invariably laugh at his tiny willy.

    Almanian, bad for prostitutes, bad for America.

  • The Late P Brooks||

    Pro Lib- been busy working on the bunker in preparation for the Conventin?

  • Pro Libertate||

    Nah, I was on vacation. I fear the convention, though. I met a guy while we were in the mountains who is involved in the convention in Charlotte. He said that officials were informed of plans to bus thousands of homeless people to Tampa (to beef up the Occupiers), then to Charlotte. The joke is apparently on Charlotte, as the plans don't include busing them out.

    My commute is going to be a bear during the convention. I intend to steer clear of downtown as much as possible, otherwise.

  • Loki||

    officials were informed of plans to bus thousands of homeless people to Tampa (to beef up the Occupiers), then to Charlotte

    Translation: homeless people and Occu-tards are indistinguishable from one another*, so it will appear as if the Occu-tards are a much larger force than they really are.

    *Not a surprise, but I don't think I've seen them come right out and admit it like this before.

  • Pro Libertate||

    This wasn't them; this was someone talking to federal law enforcement personnel getting ready for the deluge. It's hard not to think that this sort of thing is known among those who know things, which makes one wonder why there's zero press on it.

  • Tomcat1066||

    This surprises you? I'm one of the few journalists not employed by someone like Reason that's not a raging liberal.

  • sarcasmic||

    I met a guy while we were in the mountains

    I thought Heath Ledger was dead.

  • Pro Libertate||

    Not those mountains.

  • Dr. Frankenstein||

    All mountains are belong to STEVE SMITH

  • B.P.||

    I thought my commute during the 2008 DNC would be the worst, and I work in downtown Denver. The streets were largely empty, at least on my commute path. I think a lot of the locals fled the area (and rented their downtown lofts for big bucks).

  • Enough About Palin||

    The Twin Cities were okay during 2008.

  • Tomcat1066||

    I don't know about busing homeless to Charlotte, but I did get a call from the Democratic National Convention Committee wanting me to run a story about how they are giving out thousands of free tickets for when Obama is officially crowned as nominee once again.

    http://thealbanyjournal.com/20.....edentials/

  • The Late P Brooks||

    If the Mayor of Tampa is willing to suspend the Constitution with regard to the Second Amendment, getting rid of a few smelly bums should pose no significant obstacle to Keeping the Peace.

  • Pro Libertate||

    We're okay, as they'll only be here until the buses to Charlotte arrive. I don't hang out in downtown Tampa, anyway, so it don't confront me none.

    I had thought about going to see Ron Paul or to do something else political during this whole business, but I think your bunker suggestion is a better plan.

  • Brett L||

    Ron Paul is talking at a breakfast Monday morning the 27th, but you have to give $100 to the Iowa Republican Party to get in. So I'm not going.

  • carol||

    I'm on vacation the week of the convention so I plan on spending some time downtown just for shits and giggles. Otherwise, there really is no reason to go to downtown Tampa ever.

  • ||

    and righteous indignation.

    Yeah my suspension of disbelief was shattered.

    No one would ever use that term to describe themselves....its like putting "evil" in your name. "Team of evil pacifists" or "Brotherhood of evil mutants"..never going to happen.

  • JD the elder||

    I was once informed of the existence of a group called "Astorians for Peace and Justice". I asked if there was a counterpart "Astorians for War and Repression".

  • The Late P Brooks||

    "That ass that was kicked- somebody else did that."

  • Hyperion||

    I will make a bold prediction. There is a 100% chance that the wrong side will win.

  • Daryl Davis||

    Great illustration of the emptiness of our American political system. The two parties have ruined our polity and made the Congress a joke. It would be so much more noble and so much more moral if we all stood as free-thinking, independent voters, electing politicians--as few as absolutely necessary--who did the same themselves.

    http://whatdirectdemocracymigh...../in-brief/

  • T o n y||

    The parties take almost opposite positions on nearly every issue. If things appear in a shitcan, perhaps it's because the People don't give one side enough of a chance to govern, confusing the timescale of political change with that of Snooki's romantic relationships. Maybe both Sides are wrong, but if so they're wrong in completely different ways. Indeed one Side has taken to being so tribal that it takes the opposite position of the other Side no matter what, renouncing things they supported in the past, and even scientific fact. People who can't tell the difference between the parties are generally referred to as low-information voters.

  • Enough About Palin||

    THIS IS WHAT STUPID PEOPLE ACTUALLY BELIEVE.

  • Proprietist||

    I vote this the default response to Tony from now on.

  • Calidissident||

    "The parties take almost opposite positions on nearly every issue."

    You can't possibly believe this. Even if you only went by what politicians say this isn't true at all, let alone what they actually do

  • dinkster||

    One side just gets worked up over a trifling political talking point that the president by definition can do nothing in the world about and has little to do with the fiscal and social collapse. See gay marriage/abortion/immigration etc...

    Everything that actually matters toward governing they completely agree on, in the worst possible way.

  • pagoda||

    "People who can't tell the difference between the parties are generally referred to as low-information voters".

    According to people who believe our problems are caused by The Other Side.

  • wheelock||

    "The people don't give one side enough of a chance to govern"...

    They'll figure it all out eventually! Wow.

  • ||

    And just when you thought this piece was a work of comedy, Tony comes in and proves that people that stupid actually exist.

  • Sevo||

    Shithead is the universal solvent:
    You argue no one could be that dumb, shithead posts and proves you wrong.
    You think the bar can't possibly be lowered from the last comment, shithead posts and proves you wrong.
    There is no lower level of either stupidity or dishonesty that shithead has not plumbed.

  • Johnimo||

    Very cleverly written article. HOWEVER, I feel comfortable with my belief that Romney will make better nominations to the Supreme Court than will Obama. We have to live with the Supremes much longer than with a President.

  • dinkster||

    Probably true

  • dinkster||

    Of course, there are a few candidates that would actually keep campaign promises, but we won't mention them.

  • KB Marx||

    Hahaha.

  • WWNGD?||

    Shouldn't "The Other Side" have a "™" symbol after it?

    BTW, "The Other Side" is a GREAT song by Tiny Tim. He sings about the horrors of the melting ice caps in 1967.
    http://goo.gl/uUNac

  • Page 7||

    It's always between a Turd and a Douchebag.

  • Mr. FIFY||

    And, as usual, the Turd and Douchebag labels are not Team-specific - they can apply to either Team Mascot.

  • agibson95||

    To all the Americans that do not vote: I am asking that you change your mind for this one election. If everyone that didn’t normally vote went to the polls and voted for Gary Johnson, they would be responsible for electing the next President of the United States. That is true power. That is bucking the system at the finest
    If you believe that your vote is useless join us and actually make a difference. Wouldn’t you like to see Mitt Romney and Barack Obama’s faces when they announce Gary Johnson as the winner? They would be like ‘what the hell??’ and politics as we know it would be turned upside down.
    Gary Johnson is not your typical candidate. He was a Governor of New Mexico for 8 years and has the record and experience to back up a Presidency, he is also a Libertarian. He believes that people should be able to do what they want as long as they don’t hurt anyone. Imagine a President that will end the Drug War; that will end the IRS; that will allow people to live their lives as they see fit. YOU COULD BE PART OF THE MOVEMENT TO MAKE THAT HAPPEN! All is will take is your vote.
    If you are one of the people that does not have a sense of civic duty to vote, I implore you to at least consider my proposal. You could make a difference in this election! You could have a vote that matters and you could also piss off the establishment at the same time.
    Thank You

  • hforrest||

    You guys can all have fun voting(or not voting) on "principle" because both candidates are exactly the same and part of the establishment, and there is "no difference" between them. Talk to me in four years after Obama nominates 3 or 4 more modernist judges to the Supreme Court... Tell me about how much good you've done by standing up for your principles and not caving to the lesser of two evils then. One of two people is going to win the election. I want the person who wins to be the one who has a whole page on their website promising to nominate originalist judges, not the one who has a history of nominating Kagan and Sotomayor. A 5 or 6 person "Obama" wing of the court is going to be the end of (what is left of) the Constitution as we know it. No, it's not a great situation, but it's what we have-- Romney is a clearly better choice than Obama. Not nearly as much as we would have hoped, but sorry, you "lol, the establishment is all the same, man!!" people are out of touch with reality. You can either have Obama or Romney. Nobody is going to give a shit about your write-in. If you care about our Constitution you cannot allow Obama to nominate 3 or 4 more lifetime justices next term.

  • dinkster||

    Of course, a better choice can't possibly exist, right? Or did you just run the numbers in that supercomputer brain of yours and decide all the outcomes? Romney is totally telling the truth, right? He won't sell us out, right? Every campaign promise will be fulfilled, right?

  • Sevo||

    dinkster| 8.21.12 @ 2:36PM |#
    ..."Romney is totally telling the truth, right? He won't sell us out, right?"...
    It's possible he might be better, but then it's possible I could win the lotto.

  • ||

    I used to be a voting Repubican always knowing the democrat party is corrupt. However, I've grown up to realize that the GOP is equally corrupt.
    Forget the media hype and research Mitt Romney's voting record for yourself, as I have done. Romney and Obama are both socialist! Romney voted for TARP, voted to raise the debt ceiling, voted for the NDAA and The Patriot Act, his lips tell us he's pro life but his voting record tells us he's pro-choice!
    The GOP will never, ever give us a true conservative candidate, to do so would wreck their personal gravy train, a gravy train that's destroying our country.
    Root core conservatives will not vote for Romney.
    The motto of a pro-life movement on the Internet is this:
    IF YOU FEAR OBAMA, YOU WILL VOTE FOR ROMNEY, IF YOU FEAR GOD, YOU WON'T! I believe they have it right!

  • jb4479||

    Mind explaining how Mitt Romney voted for any of this when he has never served in Congress, nitwit?

    I believe the appropriate term for this twaddle is "weapons-grade stupid"

  • jason||

    Obama have not started its campaign but peoples know when he will launch this campaign he will bring storm into the media like these statements.

  • ||

    "this ideology was developed by a very obscure but nonetheless profoundly influential writer with a strange-sounding name who enjoyed brief celebrity several decades ago. If you look carefully, you can trace nearly all the Other Side’s policies for the past half-century back to the writings of this one person."

    But who?

  • Orange Crayons||

    Brilliantly written. Lol!

    Now, who's on first again?

  • numnumnum||

  • Greg1515||

    Fantastic! I have been posting on Facebook similar parodies, and had the privilege of being called a "staunch Republican" and "partisan Democrat" the same day!

  • CHNS Girl Friday||

    I'd say your parody was, "pitch perfect!"
    That's the best outcome for parody!
    Kudos!

  • Greg1515||

    Someone should tell hforrest to take Public Choice Theory 101....

  • CHNS Girl Friday||

    This is a HOOT!
    I've been a member of the press and,
    when I got tired of the poverty, a flack-catcher;
    and this column is a godsend (no disrespect to the great I AM)
    to every press info dir for every candidate running! ;-)

  • Mesa||

    Great Article! I enjoyed it.

  • Sbobet||

    Yes, i agree.. how about the other side?

  • sbobet agent||

    who decide which side is wrong and which side is right??

  • ibcbet||

    There is a 100% chance that the wrong side will win. Great article.

  • ibcbet||

    You might want to be careful where those rocks land, perfessur. Nice topic guys

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