Sympathy for the Investment Banker

Who killed Bear Stearns? After all, it was you and me.

House of Cards: A Tale of Hubris and Wretched Excess on Wall Street, by William D. Cohan, New York: Doubleday, 450 pages, $27.95

Bear Trap: The Fall of Bear Stearns and the Panic of 2008, by Bill Bamber and Andrew Spencer, New York: Brick Tower Press, 225 pages, $24.95

How would you like to make half a million dollars a year playing bridge? To understand the popularity of House of Cards, William D. Cohan’s narrative of the collapse of Bear Stearns & Co., you must know that Jimmy Cayne—the leatherfaced former CEO of the giant investment bank, trading firm, and broker-dealer—employed not one but four lucky stiffs, at six-figure annual salaries, to play tournament cards with him.

The New York Times bestseller ably details how Bear Stearns was brought down last year by a combination of high leverage, overinvestment in bum mortgage-backed securities, and a snowballing loss of confidence. But fans mainly simmer with moral outrage at the book’s depiction of an aloof, barely responsive tycoon playing cards at a swanky hotel while his company died and millions were plunged into poverty. In a more spacious age, Cayne might have been dubbed “colorful.” Now his vices—which may also include careless oversight, ignorance of derivatives, serious staff mismanagement, pot smoking (really), sexist comments, and more—draw only scorn. New York Times reviewer Michiko Kakutani notes that Cayne “often seemed more interested in playing golf and attending bridge tournaments than in tending to his company’s business.” Los Angeles Times employee Tim Rutten applauds Cohan’s depiction of “eccentric, vulgar, greedy, profane and coarse individuals” with “the mentality of looters,” whose “devastating heedlessness and wanton venality” make one “nostalgic for those stodgy-sober old guys in the pinstripes.”

And yet for all the vilification, Cayne is not the villain of Cohan’s dense, heavily reported book. Nor does he emerge as the bad guy in Bear Trap, a passionate cri de coeur by Bill Bamber, a former Bear senior managing director for derivatives, and literary agent Andrew Spencer. In both books, the insolvency of Bear Stearns occurs with a great indifference to who’s hissable and who’s kissable. While the plot involves plenty of bad decisions, it’s really just a small record of one part of a madness that swept the entire financial sector, the U.S. government and its foreign enablers, and the biggest criminals of all, the American people.

Both books focus on the period from March 10 through March 17, 2008, when Bear Stearns, abandoned by customers and lenders, became insolvent and was consumed, with government help, by JPMorgan Chase. The similarity ends there. House of Cards is a very widely sourced, exhaustive narrative at the level of what the Avalon Hill board game company used to call “grand strategy.” Its treatment of the fatal week is just a setup for a detailed accounting of how the 85-year-old firm ended up swimming in bad mortgages just when financial markets turned against mortgage debt. Bear Trap, on the other hand, is a first-person narrative essentially tracking Bamber’s mental state as the solid world he reared and lived in dissolved and dwindled, more quickly than he had thought possible.

If your goal is to find out what happened at Bear Stearns, House of Cards is your book. Although Cohan at times seems bent on reporting every conversation and anecdote he has collected, he has put together an excellent narrative. Many of the facts are new, including interesting details of a health crisis that laid up Cayne and spooked his inner circle in 2007.

Bear Trap, though, is more entertaining, fueled by Bamber’s panic, his growing recognition of doom, and a fondness for overcooked Bulwer-Lytton prose. Bamber and Spencer don’t just sustain a metaphor. They cram it with similes, festoon it with allusions and curlicues, and, wherever possible, throw in an adverb or three. In Bear Trap, all ignorance is “blissful,” collapses and disasters are both “complete” and “utter,” and despite the alpha-male milieu of the trading desk, fey phrasings like “all of Park Avenue is a-twitter with nerves about an impending disaster” pop up frequently. Here’s a description of the toughness of Bear Stearns: “On Wall Street, like on the playground when you’re a kid, reputation is everything. You’ve got to fight to earn it, but once you earn it, it’s yours to keep. We’d been around for 85 years and we’d been through our battles. We’d gotten beaten up, we’d grown tough, and we’d survived. We weren’t the biggest kid on the block, but we weren’t getting kicked around by the playground bully, either.” And that’s just the first third of the paragraph.

This passage is telling in another way. In an industry long on macho self-regard, Bear Stearns was especially known for its gunslinger/longterm-planning-is-for-girls culture. Bamber, who spends plenty of time describing his jet-setting adventures (there’s even a primer on the Maori tongue in the epilogue, to let us know he’s whiling away his retirement with an extended surfing layover in New Zealand), writes with apparent unawareness of how the market for captain-of-finance jock sniffing has cooled. (To be fair, the book was rush-written before the extent of the financial markets’ troubles was apparent.)

But Bamber’s immediacy makes Bear Trap and House of Cards complementary. You can read one as a readers’ guide to the other.

For example, you may be an aficionado of the Long Term Capital Management (LTCM) theory of Bear Stearns’ collapse. According to this explanation, Bear was selected for punishment by the Wall Street colleagues it had snubbed 10 years earlier (among them future Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, who was then working at Goldman Sachs) by declining to join a team assembled by the Federal Reserve to bail out the broken LTCM hedge fund. Flip to page 132 of Bear Trap, and you can find this speculation from Bamber and Spencer: “If Jimmy Cayne had only had a crystal ball in those days, maybe things would have turned out differently. But whatever the reasoning, [refusing to bail out LTCM] was a professional posture, much like the prison guard refusing to bend the rules.”

Then swing on down to page 59 of House of Cards, and dig this cryptic, anachronistic, maybe-regretful-maybe-not koan from Jimmy Cayne himself: “So, that same lesson that we learned today, Long-Term Capital Management had back then [in 1998] and the tulip people had it back in the 1400s.”

Or if you’re partial to the Warren Spector alternative-history plot, both books also deliver. Spector, Cayne’s professorial heir apparent and an executive with a deep understanding of the company’s nuts and bolts, was fired by Cayne in August 2007, in a move attributed at the time to the collapse of Bear’s two hedge funds. After the death of Bear Stearns itself the following March, historians speculated that, had he been allowed to stay, Spector might have headed off the disaster.

House of Cards reveals in amusing detail the pettiness of Cayne’s ostracism of Spector—but it also is open to the interpretation that Spector, who was instrumental in building up the company’s stockpile of mortgage-backed securities in the first place, is as much to blame as anybody. Meanwhile, Bear Trap turns the decline of Spector into an ecumenical novena: “Warren Spector had been named the sacrificial virgin who would die so that the rest of us might live. Spector had died for our sins, making him some sort of Bear Stearns Christ figure, I suppose.”

The LTCM-revenge scenario in particular seems compelling. It’s hard to resist any crime hypothesis in which the triggermen are Henry Paulson, Ben Bernanke, and Tim Geithner (then CEO of the Federal Reserve Bank of New York, now secretary of the treasury). But the murder weapon—the Fed’s failure to open its “discount window” on an emergency basis to investment banks until March 16, when Bear Stearns was effectively deceased—is not persuasive. Nevertheless, the anger about the discount window expressed by Cayne and his successor as CEO, Alan Schwartz—and Bamber, for that matter—reveals more about these protagonists than any tales of their extravagant lifestyles or looter mentalities.

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  • ||

    I had no idea that Jimmy Carter and Louis Rukeyser had a love child.

  • Xeones||

    Is that Jimmy Cayne? Goddamn, what's wrong with his face?

  • The Extispicator||

    no wonder he felt entitled ... he feels God owes him an apology

  • Inkstained Wretch||

    Tim, I am guessing that this is the A1 story from your local rag that you reference in your review:
    http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-fi-dollarhome12-2009apr12,0,1284522,full.story

    Geez, what a clusterfuck ...

  • ||

    Cavanaugh - you're a top-notch financial reporter... Acromeglamy? (sp?) get my dictionary out!

    Damn, brotha! WTF?

    Quantitative easing is fucking all the Austrian brothers up.... too bad. They suck because its fucking working!!!!

    Oh - and Rush Limbaugh is the redneck hero!

    Selah - motherfuckers!

  • SHerrreek||

    Can I direct you to the nearest US Army Recruiting Center?

  • SHerrreek||

    nothing like throwing comments in a dead thread. who's the jerk?

  • ||

    They suck because its fucking working!!!!

    How? The bond market is continuing to collapse. (For those, like shrike, who don't know what QE is, its the Treasury buying its own bonds at auction to keep the price up).

  • ||

    Avalon Hill may be my favorite Reason reference of all time.

  • ||

    Gold is falling, silver fell 10% without its gold "mystique bullshit" premium, the dollar is holding or upping, and the Obama haters continue to dive into aborto-freak dustbins squalling for their hollow GOP teat.

    RC, I wish I could bet against you for a living.

  • SHerrreek||

    While Born-Again Barack invades another African country.....

  • ||

    Fuck, I wish you WOULD bet against me for a living. hee hee!!

  • Elphalpo||

    "Or if you're partial to the Warren Spector alternative-history plot..."

    Did Tim actually mention the creator of Deus Ex, the most awesomest PC game of all time, in the article, or is there some other Warren Spector I'm not aware of?

  • Joel||

    [I]f you want to know who got us into this mess, you already have your answer: You got us into this mess.

    Okay, since I see nobody else has said it yet, I will. Bullshit, Tim.

  • ||

    Bill O'Reilly is a cum-guzzinging cocksucker. I aonly wish to meet this cocksucking whore 1-on-1.

  • SHerrreek||

    he might just be attracted to you....

  • ||

    Sorry, I am not responsible, I have no personnel debts now and have paid off all previous personnel debts.

    Also while I agree that deadbeat debtors bear large part of the responsibility, there are two sides to a debt. If you are dumb enough to lend to someone who can't pay you back then you are part of the problem too. They failed in the no.1 rule of business, make sure you get paid.

  • ||

    Christ - faggotry is endemic in North Ga.

    Just the facts, maam,

  • kiff||

    Wow, is Shrike for real? Or is he some kind of insane flame-troll?

  • kiff||

    Also, I'm with Joel. I don't believe in this collective guilt, we-have-all-sinned-in-our-hearts crap. I have never defaulted on anything. Never even had a late payment.

  • ||

    Wow, is Shrike for real? Or is he some kind of insane flame-troll?

    Nahh, I hate racist assholes - so fuck you too.

  • Brian Reilly||

    Anyone who did not see the unsupportable debt structure being built was not paying attention. A simple look at housing and new car prices versus income levels and incurred debt (public and private) was all the information that any thinking person of any political persuasion needed to be fully informed that a huge scam of some sort was being perpetrated.

    I know nothing about Bear Stearns, and do not care much. Ditto for the Fed, Long Term Capital, or bridge. I can do arithmetic, and saw a long time ago that something phony was going on, and everybody seemed to want a piece of it.

    Suck it up, at least we do not live in North Korea... yet.

  • Jay ||

    The more I look this problem over, the more inclined I am to think of this as something done on purpose, by somebody.

    I'm just some schlub who reads the economist. But as this was all building up I was looking around at all these insane people who assumed that all housing prices would double every 5 years. And the appraisers who would appraise for whatever the property needed, so a good LTV could be reached. There are too many people on the ground who had too perverse of incentives, which became a self reinforcing cycle.

  • Rich||

    The sin I *might* buy into (sorry) here is one of omission: not massing with like-minded folk early on and, um, insisting that certain crap be stopped and certain people make reparations. Oh, well.

  • threeofclubs||

    "Main Street's predatory behavior toward Wall Street"
    one of the oddest things I have ever read.

    I do think journalists should go on and on about the massive amounts of corporate welfare that many investment bankers want.

  • Mike||

    I worked in residential construction during the middle of the boom. We all thought the damn thing was a bubble, and just hoped we could weather the collapse when it eventually dropped. Mostly I never expected it to keep bubbling up for as long as it did.

  • Speak for Yourself||

    "Asking yourself why you didn't see where all this was heading, or offering to reduce your inflated salary in the service of a sustainable economy, is hard ... But if you want to know who got us into this mess, you already have your answer: You got us into this mess."

    I was an attorney in a white shoe Wall Street lawfirm from 2000-2006. My wife and I bought a condo in the NY area in 2001. We came to the following conclusions very early on:

    1 - My ridiculous salary was completely decoupled from reality and was only a result of the fact that anyone smart enough to go to a top tier law school could also get a top tier MBA (even by the outrageous hours I worked); and

    2 - Our condo price doubling every 2 years could not last.

    So we lived within our means (not assuming that the gravy train would stay on track forever) and saved our pennies for the years that I slaved away, and sold our condo in 2006 (for more than double what we paid). We are debt Free.

    So speak for yourself Tim.

  • Tremors||

    Very counterintuitive, Tim. "Edgy," even.

    As has been said, the bankers HAD to know something would give. They preyed on the ignorance of the regular folks with high-school diplomas. Regular-folk greed certainly played a starring role, but to damn the marks and exonerate the predatory banks bespeaks a rare degree of capitalist autism.

    Oh, you were too smart to fall for it? Here's a cookie.

  • abercrombie milano||

    My only point is that if you take the Bible straight, as I'm sure many of Reasons readers do, you will see a lot of the Old Testament stuff as absolutely insane. Even some cursory knowledge of Hebrew and doing some mathematics and logic will tell you that you really won't get the full deal by just doing regular skill english reading for those books. In other words, there's more to the books of the Bible than most will ever grasp. I'm not concerned that Mr. Crumb will go to hell or anything crazy like that! It's just that he, like many types of religionists, seems to take it literally, take it straight...the Bible's books were not written by straight laced divinity students in 3 piece suits who white wash religious beliefs as if God made them with clothes on...the Bible's books were written by people with very different mindsets...in order to really get the Books of the Bible, you have to cultivate such a mindset, it's literally a labyrinth, that's no jokeI was an attorney in a white shoe Wall Street lawfirm from 2000-2006. My wife and I bought a condo in the NY area in 2001. We came to the following conclusions very early on:

  • nfl jerseys||

    verfd

  • Scarpe Nike Italia||

    is good

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