The Volokh Conspiracy
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Is This Legal Doctrine a Garlic Press?
Have you ever heard a legal scholar criticize a doctrine because it does several different things, but it isn't really good at any one of those things? That kind of criticism of a doctrine is much less common from a judge. Why is that? If you want the answer to these questions, there's a Green Bag article I wrote a few years ago called On Doctrines That Do Many Things. It starts this way:
Every kitchen has two kinds of tools. Some of these tools do many things well, like a chef's knife. Other tools do only one thing, but they are meant to do that one thing exceedingly well, like a garlic press. The same distinction appears in legal doctrines. Some doctrines do one thing and are meant to do it very well. Others do many different things. They serve multiple functions, though perhaps all imperfectly.
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Hmmmm … some do stink, yes. 🙂
Chef Alton Brown’s favorite recurring gripe is that: the only good unitasker to have in a kitchen is a fire extinguisher.
I suppose that if a CO2 extinguisher were loaded with food grade CO2, you could use it to chill things. But emergency equipment that’s capable of being used up should basically never be dual use.
I was taught that welding grade oxygen is purer than hospital grade oxygen. I can’t swear to that. Welders who inhale their oxygen to ease hangovers do not seem to suffer harm. I have no idea whether that works for the hangovers.
Chef Alton Brown’s…
The title “Chef” is not applicable to Alton Brown. Even he makes it clear that he’s not a chef.
Absolutely fair point. I intentionally used ‘chef’ as shorthand, for the benefit of (most of?) this site’s readership, which I (unfairly??) assumed would not know this person.
Alton Brown, food historian. Recipe and how-to genius. Food humorist. All accurate. (His idea to use grains of paradise in apple pie? Brilliant!!!) But . . . it’s true that he is certainly not a chef.
There was some talk about the canons of construction in the Supreme Court. I suppose they are the cleavers rather than the presses of the legal world.
(Programming quote/joke from the 1990s: Perl is like vice grips, the wrong tool for every job.)
they are meant to do that one thing exceedingly well, like a garlic press.
Garlic presses are a pita.
If you’re going to pick a kitchen implement that does “one thing exceedingly well”, a garlic press is near the bottom of the list of examples to pick.
Yes, a garlic press is a unitasker – no, it doesn’t do even that job very well. They break, clog, are miserable to keep clean and waste an astonishing amount of the very garlic you’re trying to process. Just use a chef’s knife.
Naw, I found one which does work exceedingly well, does not clog, and is easy to clean.
Yes, a garlic press is a unitasker – no, it doesn’t do even that job very well. They break, clog, are miserable to keep clean and waste an astonishing amount of the very garlic you’re trying to process. Just use a chef’s knife.
This may well be the most true thing I’ve ever read here. Screw the press, I’ve got my Shun Kiritsuke.
Thank you, I agree with this. Maybe an apple corer would be an example? Either way, garlic presses suck.
Agree 100%.
I must have bought a dozen garlic tools over the years, including presses.
None of them are worth a damn. Just use the side of a cleaver to smash the clove.
In my kitchen there are four different can openers. Not one reliably opens all cans, but among the four, all cans will open.
Some few cans need one opener to get the opening started, then another opener to finish the work.
I question your can-opening skills.
Buy a cheap Oxo manual can opener. It will open all cans, and continue to do so for lots and lots of cans. When it no longer works on everything, get a new one. Smooth and easy until it gets worn. Almost fun to use.