Reason Podcast

Star Trek: The Libertarian Edition

To boldly go and leave people alone.

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Their mission: to seek out new life and new civilizations, and leave them alone. Trade with them if they want, but mostly leave them the hell alone.

In honor of Star Trek's 50th Anniversary, Reason presents the Libertarian parody of the final frontier, with appearances by Gary Johnson and Remy.

Written and produced by Austin Bragg, Meredith Bragg, and Andrew Heaton. Shot and edited by Bragg and Bragg.

About 4 minutes.

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    1. Your link concludes with:

      “The biggest message at the end of the day for Deep Space Nine is there are no easy endings. Our heroes don’t conclude their journey playing a friendly game of poker, they’re forced to sacrifice almost everything they have in order to try and make the universe a better place. Because that’s what you have to do in the real world.”

      I take issues with “?forced to sacrifice almost everything they have in order to try and make the universe a better place.”

      That may be true for a few heroes here and there, but for the vast majority of us, the vast majority of the time, a LOT less is required! Read on?

      1. Give me a few minutes here while I prep my rant…

        1. All that is required for a “mungo” percent of us, “mungo” percent of the time, is just to sacrifice our self-righteousness! I am sick and tired of reading that ??? 40%, whatever, of people saying that they are fiscally conservative and socially liberal, then see approx.. 5% voting Libertarian? If you quiz these people, they’ll tell you, “I would vote Libertarian, but they just don’t love the poor enough” (unspoken part, love the poor with TAXPAYER money, not voluntary money). Or, “I would vote Libertarian, but way too many Libertarians support unborn-baby-murdering” (unspoken part, it doesn’t matter if said Libertarians oppose “baby murdering” morally, ethically, and with their spoken persuasive-not-forceful words; only Government Almighty FORCE in opposition to abortion matters).

          If a butt-load of people could set aside their favorite little snippet of self-righteousness NOW, we could have less Government Almighty, less fighting, and more PEACE! And Love? OK, call me a hippie?

          1. Before you take this the wrong way, you’re almost totally right.

            But what is the purpose of government? Isn’t it to punish violations of people’s rights (initiations of force)?

            Ergo, a government that doesn’t punish murderers is not a government worth existing. If abortion is murder (and it very well could be), and it’s not a governmental issue, then nothing is a governmental issue…

            …Which is fine with me because I’m an An-Cap.

            1. An an-cap?

              [high fives ace_m82]

              1. [Goes for the high five and misses comically]

                [Walks away without speaking as if he meant to do that]

            2. Hi Ace,

              No, I won’t take it the wrong way, I can see you’re a good Dude, from your previous posts…

              I think abortion is wrong, but, in the name of peace, a lesser issue that should be pushed out while other more important issues are addressed. The continuing wars and threats of wars (including nuclear wars that could wipe our species out) worry me a LOT more! In then name of peace, I would want us all to worry (for now) about the really big stuff, and get that squared away first, before we keep on fighting too much about the little stuff… If civilization can live (for the near future) for now, semi-peacefully, without a given law, then that law shouldn’t be on the books. Whittle the big ones down first. Peace now, perfection later, if ever… Peace, Dude!

              1. I’m not terribly concerned about nuclear wars, just as “an armed society is a polite society”, a nuclear armed world is a “polite” world, no wars between nuclear powers since 1945. Leaders are rational actors even if they are evil, and recognize being “leader” of a wasteland isn’t as good as being a leader of a functioning economy.

                That and I wouldn’t consider 50 million dead as a “lesser issue”.

                As for me, I’m happy fighting against all those who initiate violence against you or my other neighbors. If others don’t want to fight aggressors and don’t want to pay for it, then they may choose to submit.

                1. I think you’re missing the forest by staring at the trees.

                  He just threw abortion out there. You could substitute any conservative/republican shibboleth and his statement would make just as much sense. “I’d vote libertarian, but they might legalize the drugz!” Something I’ve heard often while manning LP booths at conventions back in the day (things like gun shows, hunter’s conventions, places where conservatives would show up) was that people swore they’d vote libertarian, just as soon as all of America’s enemies were defeated, the Middle East no longer produced kooks of any kind, and all illegals were rounded up.

                  So sometime around 2150, I’m guessing. Regardless, don’t fixate on the abortion part to the point of missing the message.

                  1. Oh, no, I see the forest.

                    If the government doesn’t punish initiators of force, then it has no purpose. If it doesn’t punish murderers, it has no purpose. Therefore, punishing murderers is a perfectly legitimate reason to vote for a certain party if the others don’t want to. Saying something like “murders don’t matter” (not what you said, mind you) is a good reason to be laughed off the stage (as it seems to be the Sine Qua Non of government).

                    Now, history should show all of us that the GOP are less interested in punishing murderers of all types than Libertarians are, but that’s an education issue, not a policy one. After all, if the GOP ever succeeded in actually banning abortions, why would anyone vote for them ever again?

                    1. Here is the problem with your line of thinking.

                      In order to treat a fetus as a fully qualified human with all applicable inherent rights requires that the government investigate ALL miscarriages for cause of death and if ANYONE had taken an action which conceivably could have contributed to that miscarriage charging them with a crime (which specific crime is dependent on the nature of the act).

                      Since most women have done something while pregnant that could in theory at least induce a miscarriage you are basically asking for a world where a miscarriage in essence becomes a crime.

                      Anything less is depriving that fetus of it’s right to the protection of it’s life just as much as not prosecuting an abortion would be.

                    2. requires that the government investigate ALL miscarriages for cause of death and if ANYONE had taken an action which conceivably could have contributed to that miscarriage charging them with a crime

                      Tell me more about the stringent investigations at old-folks homes every time somebody dies there.

                    3. Interesting argument.

                      However, I don’t think it would be hard to distinguish between miscarriages of commission and miscarriages of omission.

                      What interests me a tad more is knowing what the actual abortion rate was prior to legalization.

                      The rapid rise in reported abortions subsequent to RvW suggests to me that we were already cranking out a couple million abortions a year. That tells me that a ban on early abortions would be largely unenforceable. or worse, only selectively enforceable.

                      I think we could ban abortions after 23 weeks, but that’s a small fraction. Worth doing, but a small number.

                    4. I think we could ban abortions after 23 weeks, but that’s a small fraction. Worth doing, but a small number.

                      I think we can go much earlier than that and still have a workable solution. Assuming that the claims about Plan B are correct (it won’t abort an implanted embryo), then let’s do a trade-off. Plan B is available over the counter, but abortion is illegal after implantation (sans life-threatening issue for the mother).

                      That gives you something like a week after sex/rape/incest to prevent pregnancy, and the method is widely and easily available.

                    5. I’m just stockpiling the popcorn for when someone invents artificial gestation. The battles over that will be epic. One side will shriek that it’s touchin’ their ‘bortions (which have practically become a rite of the proggy religion), while the other will go on about how the tech should be banned.

                      The sheer volume that will ensue when a woman wants an abortion, but the man who put it there doesn’t, will require flightline-grade ear protection.

                    6. The correct point where it becomes murder is when consciousness is achieved. Self awareness is when personhood begins. It is also the basis for why I do not consider progtards to be people at all.

                    7. The correct point where it becomes murder is when consciousness is achieved.

                      Not the point at hand, but I’ll answer thusly: Prove you’re conscious.

                      Self awareness is when personhood begins.

                      I know lots of adults who fail that test… Ever been on a highway in traffic?

                      It is also the basis for why I do not consider progtards to be people at all.

                      Ah… remind me not to vote for you! 🙂

                    8. I already mentioned the carve out for why frogs aren’t really people.

                    9. The correct point where it becomes murder is when consciousness is achieved. Self awareness is when personhood begins.

                      So.. abortions allowed up to 18 months post-partum?

                      Also, some animals display self awareness… will it be “murder” to kill them? Why or why not?

                    10. In order to treat a fetus as a fully qualified human with all applicable inherent rights requires that the government investigate ALL miscarriages…

                      You mistake my point. I said “if” it’s murder, not “for certain”. Secondly, the government doesn’t investigate all deaths now. So basically, you’re totally wrong.

                      Since most women have done something while pregnant that could in theory at least induce a miscarriage you are basically asking for a world where a miscarriage in essence becomes a crime.

                      You mistake another thing. When a death happens now, a crime is only found if there is evidence that someone caused it. If a person who is allergic to peanuts gets too close to a person eating a peanut and then dies 2 weeks later from an undetermined cause, the government (even our stupid, evil government) doesn’t arrest the peanut man.

                  2. Hi Gojira,

                    Yeah Man, good job fleshing it out with more examples!

                    Another example is licensing laws? “Yes, I want to vote Libertarian because I am sick and tired of having to see a licensed-degreed-credentialed Dermatologist, and paying $153.79, just to have a zit popped! But ya know, I am a licensed interior decorator, and I went to school 4 years and payed $10,000 in fees for exams to EARN my privilege, and I’ll be damned if I let the Libertarians STEAL that property of mine, my interior decorator license, away from me!”

                    Maybe I am too harsh? There but for the non-grace of Government Almighty, go I? If I, as a degreed EE (Elect. Eng.) were milking yer tits, making you get an EE prescription for every electronic device that you buy, maybe I’d not be a die-hard, rabble-rousing Libertarian?

                2. Only two things scare me, and one of them is nuclear war.

              2. 3,000,000 murders a year in the US is a “lesser issue”?

            3. But what is the purpose of government? Isn’t it to punish violations of people’s rights (initiations of force)?

              Government is the protection-racket we all (mostly) agree on.

              1. Yeah, I know… I guess technically it’s the protection-racket that small minorities benefit from in one of a few thousand ways and everyone else hates that individual way, but the majority benefit from it in some way so they don’t mind that it hurts them in so many other ways.

                I need to go lie down now.

          2. The people casting the votes cannot verify that the people counting their votes are doing so correctly. If you got a QR code you could use to read how your vote was counted, you’d see 8% and climbing immediately. In 1892 Bryan’s communist prohibitionists got 8.5% of the vote–votes signed and counted by hand.

      2. Started working at home! It is by far the best job I have ever had. I just recently purchased a Brand new BMW since getting a check for $25470 this 8-week past. I began this 6 months ago and I am now bringing home at least $92 per hour. Go to this website and click tech tab to start your own business…. http://goo.gl/LtI1C0

  1. I can’t watch this right now, but Star Trek is hardly libertarian. Yes, the Prime Directive, which they broke all the time, is libertarian. But the organization of the Federation is authoritarian. And who is depicted as the most despicable race? The traders, the Ferengi. Babylon 5 had way more to love for libertarians.

    1. OK, I watched it. Pretty damn funny. Great job. “Gay fruit basket,” lol. We need more content like this.

      1. I haven’t watched it but I’m guessing they agree with you.

      2. Half Black Half White Lives Matter was good as well.

    2. Not to be pedantic, but if Star Trek were libertarian, then there would be no need for a “libertarian edition”; it would just be Star Trek. However, I agree with you wholeheartedly on your assessment of Babylon 5. I was a bit surprised to find out how much more of a (modern) liberal JMS was than I expected him to be.

      I think that Star Trek is one of those things that can get people thinking about different ways to structure a society, and so it may lead some in a libertarian direction, even if that was not the intent.

    3. “And who is depicted as the most despicable race?”

      The Borg
      The Dominion
      The Romulans

      The Ferengi went from ‘enemy’ to trusted ally/cast member in lightening time. Ferengi ‘greed’ was often the thing that saved everyone.

      1. Fuck TNG. TOS was certainly not “libertarian”, but it wasn’t a reflexively leftist show like TNG started off as. The Romulans were meant to be the enemy who was a passionate, warrior race who had a sense of honor.
        “In a different reality, I could have called you friend.”
        The Klingons were then created to stand in for the more expansionist, aggressive and overtly evil enemy. The Cold War stand-ins.
        There was no obvious socialistic economic discussions, and when they found the Yangs and the Cooms, it was made fairly obvious who Kirk favored.

        Bottom line: TOS was a “soft-liberal” in the sense of let’s look past skin color etc, but still anti-new Left in that they were still willing to fight and defend freedom etc.

    4. Yes, the Prime Directive, which they broke all the time, is libertarian.

      It’s more like what the left thinks of “libertarian”, crossed with authoritarian. Not only are they indifferent to anyone who doesn’t meet their (arbitrary) definition of sufficiently advanced, but they won’t allow anyone else to render aid when needed, either.

      But the organization of the Federation is authoritarian.

      +3 Data, Bashir, and EMH

  2. I thought the Gary Johnson bit was going to be lame, but that look after “I just don’t want to throw my vote away…”

    Bravo.

    1. I am grateful to Gary for the opportunity to cast a vote that will repeal the laws I despise. The only thing that compares is to hear the shrieks and howls of looters having to get out and work for a living.

      1. I am grateful to Gary for the opportunity to cast a vote that will enshrine someone who will horribly expand the laws I despise. The only thing that compares is to hear the shrieks and laughter of looters that I’ll have to get out and work 3 jobs to support.

  3. Perry Expedition: Net good or net bad for the world?

    1. provided jobs for those who periodically re-hash the tale, but who funded the expedition originally? Self-funded: net good. Govt-funded: what was the opportunity cost?

  4. There will be no libertarians in the post-scarcity economy. But plenty of gay fruit baskets.

    1. There will be no libertarians in the post-scarcity economy.

      Questions like, “Without the government, how will teleporters get built?” and “Even if privately funded; is copy-kill teleportation technology a violation of the NAP?” will go forever unanswered.

      1. Voluntary copy-kill teleportation isn’t a violation of NAP… because it’s voluntary.

        Force someone to go through it, however…

        1. Voluntary copy-kill teleportation isn’t a violation of NAP… because it’s voluntary.

          Of course everyone who walks out of a teleporter says the kill portion is both voluntary and necessary! Of course everyone who walks into a teleporter on the assumption that they’ll walk out the other side is going to say their actions were voluntary! That’s how it works now, right? Shots are fired and the police show up. One guy’s dead and the other says, “It’s okay, he died voluntarily. He wanted me to shoot him.” and the police get in their cars and go back to the station, right?

          No violence perpetrated, no property deprived or destroyed so nothing to see here!

  5. WESLEY CRUSHER, NAP MACHINE.

    1. Nap machine sounds like something out of Logan’s Run…

  6. The only thing worse than Trump comments is Star Trek comments.

    Beyond was fun.

    1. Was it not? I thought it was fun as hell, too, MJG.

      1. I only saw the commercial one and it looked like the next “Furious” entry or something.

        1. /s/one/once

        2. Oh, the car movies?

          I was unfortunately subjected to quite a few of the fast and furious movies. Blech.

          1. I was in Los Angeles when they were clearing the streets to film a scene from one of those. My friends wondered why I was in such a hurry to leave the neighborhood. But after they killed one of the actors doing some dumb stunt…

        3. It might not have been as fun as some of the Fast and Furious movies, true, but it was very enjoyable. And while I’m not a Trekkie, it felt more like a Star Trek story than some of the recent installments.

    2. Show us where the Traveller touched you,

      1. [smears hands on all parts of doll, starts crying]

          1. Is he about to sneeze in that still?

  7. Needs more lightsabers.

    1. Because light knows to travel just three feet or so and then stop.

        1. I can see them just straight up killing people, but the stun nonsense is silly. Lasers don’t stun. They burn, Gene. They burn like burrito shits.

          1. They are not lasers. They are some kind of particle beam.

            Of course, that brings up other issues.

            1. Phase-modulated nadion radiation. Which sounds like a cancer gun. “Take that, Klingon. You’ll be dead in like 10 years!”

              Still don’t know how is supposedly stuns someone.

          2. They’re phasers, not lasers. They like phase or something.

            1. Romulan disruptors sound like a real man’s weapon. Although I don’t understand how they break the bonds of atoms without creating a nuclear explosion. Which would be problematic in a hand-held close-quarters weapon.

              1. Which would be problematic in a hand-held close-quarters weapon.

                Look at you letting your SJW mask slip.

                1. NooOOOOOOooooooOOOOOO!

                2. Sug is totes with the Woke Compensator.

            2. They send two beams of sufficiently different frequencies that when their phases next coincide, they self-cancel, thus limiting the range of the weapons.

          3. Lasers can’t ionize air to create a pathway to deliver electrical charge?

          4. I can see them just straight up killing people, but the stun nonsense is silly. Lasers don’t stun. They burn, Gene. They burn like burrito shits.

            I liked cloaking, where things actually turned optically invisible.

            Like all the sensors and weapons were keyed strictly to the visible spectrum and that it’s critical that you be unseen. Flares, trajectory, lines-of-sight and field-effect weapons were non-entities.

            To Gene, space battles were like two kids having a pillow fight. When one gets under the sheets, the other is suddenly unable to engage him in any meaningful way.

            Only marginally better than rows upon rows of droids being replaced by rows upon rows of storm troopers. None of which have even the most remote fucking clue about what the term ‘Air Support’ means.

            1. Mass Effect was much more plausible in all regards. (At least prior to the 3rd game, which I did not play because fuck EA)

              Too bad it made space dogfights sound boring as shit. “Sir, we missed again because their transversal velocity is a nonzero value and we’re at +37 seconds on c^2-lag.”

              1. Well, delta-transV, anyway. You could hit a target with a constant transversal, even if you had to think 37 seconds into the future to do it.

        2. I block yer implausible phasers with my unobtanium shield, ***AND*** my Dalkon Shield!

          Now I counter-attack, wielding my mighty booger-beam!

          Yer move, Chump!

      1. Uhm, the Force?

        Geez.

        1. People without any indication of the force or training turn them on all the time.

          Also, why not use the force to turn off the off the other guy’s lightsaber in the middle of a fight?

          1. My sons and I were talking about this same thing after Episode VII. I mean, Kylo Ren, a dark side Force user who all of the First Order’s toughest troopers piss themselves over. A force user who can literally stop a blaster bolt in mid air (I am not even going to get into that). And a young storm trooper deserter can actually last more than a few seconds in a light saber duel.
            Vader force pulled Han’s blaster from his hand, why couldn’t he just do the same thing. Or just force push him backwards, force pull the saber out of his hand and use it to kill him where he lay. Without even having to break a sweat.

            1. I had a hard time suspending my disbelief when Kylo Ren went all emo bitch and lost his power.

            2. I had a hard time suspending my disbelief when Kylo Ren went all emo bitch and lost his power.

        2. Star Wars was full of anachronisms. It says right up front that it happened a long time ago, but man didn’t even make it to the moon until 1969. So a galaxy far, far away? I don’t think so.

          1. The real mystery is why Gungans weren’t immediately exterminated by the first alien species to encounter them.

            1. Because Jar Jar is the Sith Lord.

            2. I think it was implied that Padme’s people made sure they were confined to Naboo’s oceans, until the Trade Federation rendered that unfeasible. Another atrocity to attribute to the TF.

            3. Also I want to know… Why did my head not explode, when I saw the movie “Scanners”? Why didn’t the brain-exploding waves leap out of the movie screen?

              And, why can’t I take my 3d wish (from the Genie in the bottle), and wish for another 3 wishes? I wish for wishes, with a big wish-wish, of my ish fish wish dish!

          2. -1 Galactica 1980

            1. You should be banned for life for just mentioning that abomination. A virus needs to be written which will delete all reference to it in an all electronic data. All analog film and video copies of it should be tracked down and destroyed, and the ashes launched into the sun. All of Lorne Greene’s descendants should be taken and brainwashed into forgetting that he ever participated in it. All of the other actors involved, should be hunted down and executed, along with all their living relatives. ( except for Dirk Benedict, I doubt he wants anyone to remember his appearance).

      2. According to the (first) Star Wars roleplaying game, a lightsaber beam actually loops back on itself and some sabers allow you to adjust the blade length by modulating the amplitude.

        Because, you know, after we wuz discussin’ real ‘portant stuff like nucular wars itz real critical-like ta know how a lightsaber werks…

  8. That was actually very good. Gay cakes, gay fruit baskets and all.

  9. OT but what’s the term (like “trekker”, “whovian” “dwarfer” etc.) for Star Wars fanboys?

    1. There doesn’t seem to be one. (I goggled for you, madam.)

      1. Google is like most friends, when you really need it it doesn’t help. 😉

        1. No, I mean Google says there is no commonly used term for Star Wars fandom.

          I mean, I had never heard of one either, and I’m fairly doused in science fiction geekery.

          1. I know. And it’s weird because I only thought of it during a discussion I had over which franchises fandoms overlapped with which. But, I guess having Wookipedia is enough for the Star Wars crowd.

            1. Overlapping fandoms…

              Is STEVE SMITH a de-evolved Wookie? Discuss.

              1. My Wookie, I bent it.

    2. like “trekker”

      THAT’S OUR WORD. You have no right to use it.

        1. And don’t say “trekka,” it’s just as bad.

          1. Even if you’re from Boston?

            1. Especially if you are from Boston.

    3. Millennial Falcons

      1. What the Hell is an aluminum falcon?

        1. Aluminum Falcon had better watch out for the latest conspiracy…

          Lemme give you the “Reader’s Digest” version of things?

          Some folks are already blaming the “Islamofascists” for this, before the evidence is at all yet clear. But a very strange thing has been mysteriously cropping up on structurally essential aluminum airframe members of civilian and military aircraft alike. A radio-triggered tiny device that sprays amino acids, vitamins, minerals, lipids, carbs, etc? Pre-digested nutrients, but harmless, basically? Now WHY would anyone go to all the trouble to sneak diluted, harmless nutrients onto airframe members?!!? The “Homeland Security” types were totally baffled? They had taken these tiny little devices and analyzed them by themselves. Finally, it occurred to them to be more “holistic”, and trigger one “in situ”, in their fancy words, ya know? Trigger the device WHERE IT IS PLANTED, basically? Continued…

          1. So they did this safely, in a hangar, and what happened? The nutrients trigger some nearby-planted, tiny bacterial spores, spores of some sort of GMO, engineered bacteria, which are capable of making acids that digest aluminum! Bring down an aircraft, see? They are still debating a scientific name for these GMO bacteria, that serve as the root of this conspiracy, but so far they are thinking? Let’s call them the Aluminum-Eatee!!!

            1. Are you describing a puke bomb?

              1. No, the REAL heart of this dastardly new conspiracy is the Aluminum-Eatee GMO bacteria. If they ever get loose into our food supply and then into our digestive system, then there will be a danger of uncontrolled diarrhea why flying! So if you get the “Hershey squirts” while flying, it might dribble out and start eating through the aluminum structural members of the aircraft! Kinda like the first movie “Alien”, where the alien (if cut into) would bleed so-called “molecular acid” (pretty poor sci-fi technical-babble-wise if you ask me) that would eat through multiple layers of the ship! ? So anyway, if this stuff gets loose in your loose stools!… Then TSA folks will be having to “anally probe” us all, safety-inspect us and our bowels, before we can board the aircraft! TSA will need to start taking lessons from the Space Aliens, on how to do this?

    4. flaming, fucking assholes?

    5. There isn’t one. There aren’t enough fans.

  10. I LOLed. Pretty hard.

  11. Excellent. Even the labels.

  12. “Star Trek: The Libertarian Edition”

    Uh oh, prepare to be canceled by Fox.

  13. “If you are above having money, why do need mine?”

    1. “…why do you need mine?”

  14. Delightful and charming. Thanks…

    1. You must be back on your meds. No ranting about the Hoover admin, or raving about abortion restrictions.

      1. Shit, man; don’t punish him for it! See, this is why our own cocktail parties never work out. It’s not fruit sushi that keeps the contributors loyal.

        Well, not all of them, anyway.

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  18. Star Trek also manages to parody libertarianism, since the Prime Directive mandates sociopathic indifference to anybody that doesn’t meet an arbitrary level of advancement.

  19. Qeng Ho is the most libertarian organization in SciFi.

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