Reason Podcast

Remy Shows Cardi B Where Her Taxes Go

'Bodak Yellow' never sounded so fiscally irresponsible.

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After Cardi B launched an anti-taxation tirade against Uncle Sam on Instagram, Remy took on the challenge of explaining what's happening with all her money.

'Bodak Yellow' parody written and performed by Remy.

Shot and edited by Austin and Meredith Bragg.

Mastered by Ben Karlstrom. Beat by JEOnTheButtons.
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LYRICS:

Thirty grand for a table
where Ben Carson loves to eat
640 dollars for the
Louboutin of toilet seats

So many whips you'd think
you were watching Fifty Shades of Grey
Plus the seven billion every year
we send to TSA

I don't dance no
I make tummies move
See I don't gotta dance
I make tummies move

800 thousand for the homeless
Not the homeless–monkey drool
Plus 80 million for a hotel
but that hotel is in Kabul

You say you
wanna know where it go?
Let's find out and see
Cardi B

Billion dollars gone
Don't know where it be
It in the club?
That's what happens when you
give to D.C. spenders
As much a chance of getting paid back
as Evan McMullin's vendors

Forty grand for an app
that shows an arrow every time
Ain't seen an app so overvalued
since that time I purchased Vine

Plus billions more that we give
To folks we deem are really smart
For a pyramid that tells you
"Don't forget to eat your carbs!"

Grope your pants and
take your money too
Grope your pants and
take your money too

The tax code is the worst thing scribbled
since Ben Affleck's back tattoo

NEXT: D.C. Government Thinks It Found the Real Problem With EPA Administrator Scott Pruitt's Sweetheart Condo Deal

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  1. With a pot shot against Egg McMuffin. Poor guy. All he wants is perpetual war throughout the globe.

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    2. That’s perpetual HOLY war to you, infidel!

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  2. Remy’s a hateful white supremacist. There, I said it.

    1. Being a white male somewhere between completely incapable and unwilling to do the actual research, I’m pretty sure that Remy isn’t, by any metric, punching up here.

      I only have a dim understanding of who Cardi B is and what limited illumination there is suggests she has the visual appeal of a radio DJ and the vocal/musical appeal of an Instagram contributor.

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  3. Way to short. Their are so many bad government programs and spending, Remy did not ever touch the tip of a snow flake much less the ice berg here. Just one off of my head their a program that cost over a million dollars telling teen aged girls that celibacy is better than sex. The department of agriculture have grants for giving suburban house fixes. Pay people not to grow food or hay as well. Normally Remy videos are way funnier but this one is just way to short to get the message out, and bring in the humor. But still I’m looking forward to the next one.

  4. Some fucking real freestyling at the end there.

  5. Nice.

    Would have been better to maybe note the slightly larger problems that are actually making us go broke.

    1. Although $30k for a table that, barring any major disasters, should still be in use in a hundred years really isn’t all that much.

      1. If a $30K table could bar major disasters, the Pentagon is probably a pretty good place for it.

        1. ‘would be’ not ‘is’

          Fucked that one up.

      2. In the event of major disasters, you could duck and cover under that table.

  6. Meh, this song was just ok.

  7. Hey Remy, you ready to stop voting Democrat yet?

  8. I’d like to say this vid is brilliant, I really would. Then again, Andrew made some really brilliant vids, and Reason sent him packing instead of you-know-who. So Remy, I’m gonna go somewhere out of earshot to praise yo vids, capisci?

  9. Taxes go to Social Services.

    http://mil14.com

    U.S. Federal Government Spending
    Fiscal Year 2018
    In Effect October 1, 2017 – September 30, 2018

    69% Social Services $2819 Billion
    14% Defense of the Nation $595 Billion
    11% General Government $457 Billion
    06% Interest on the Debt $241 Billion

    Total spending: 4.1 Trillion Dollars

  10. taxes go up Karl Marx’s asshole

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  12. How long before YouTube takes that video down?

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  15. Don’t forget, that pyramid some ‘really smart people’ built for us is probably one of the causal factors in America’s obesity and diabetes epidemic. Excessive consumption of carbohydrates is disastrous for your body.

    So that’s money being spent on telling people how to poison themselves. The wonders of government, folks!

  16. I know where half of that Billion went! To Planned Parenthood! What is with a Republican House and Senate that can’t even defund the organizations they don’t like?! Forget about cutting government spending, it won’t happen unless we get some smaller government groups in who recognize that neither dependent dictators (Right wing) nor Planned Parenthood (Left wing) should be supported with taxpayer funds. So much for the ‘smaller government’ party, the only ones who currently fit that moniker are Rand Paul, Justin Amash and Thomas Massie.

    1. Repeated comment not intended, (see below). It is rather hypocritical to both pay for celibacy education and PP at the same time. One more reason we should only fund what is absolutely necessary for government to function justly.

  17. I know where half of that Billion went! To Planned Parenthood! What is with a Republican House and Senate that can’t even defund the organizations they don’t like?! Forget about cutting government spending, it won’t happen unless we get some smaller government groups in who recognize that neither dependent dictators (Right wing) nor Planned Parenthood (Left wing) should be supported with taxpayer funds. So much for the ‘smaller government’ party, the only ones who currently fit that moniker are Rand Paul, Justin Amash and Thomas Massie.

  18. Ba mhaith liom a r? go bhfuil an vid seo iontach, ba mhaith liom. Ansin ar?s, rinne Andrew roinnt f?seanna iontach, agus chuir C?is pac?il air seachas d’fhios agat. Mar sin, Remy, beidh m? ag dul in ?it ?igin as cluasaigh le moladh me vids, capisci?

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