13 Reasons Jeff Sessions is a @$#/!

The attorney general is an unreformed drug warrior and sinister elf.

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13 Reasons Jeff Sessions is a @$#/!

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Jeff Sessions is on the ropes with Donald Trump. Good.

The president is pissed because Sessions recused himself from the investigation of Russian attempts to influence the 2016 election. But here are a baker's dozen of reasons to hate the attorney general, including his obsession with restarting the war on pot, his call to jack up mandatory minimums, and his support for civil asset forfeiture. Then there's his lack of interest in due process, willingness to subvert state's rights when they conflict with his desired outcome, and desire to lengthen prison terms for non-violent criminals. Also, he might be some kind of statist elf.

During Sessions' confirmation hearings, Democrats claimed the former Alabama senator was unfit for office because he was a racist, charges that were never really substantiated. But Sessions' voting record and policy agenda are more than enough to disqualify him from being the nation's top law enforcement officer.

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Edited by Austin Bragg and Sarah Rose Siskind.

Produced by Meredith and Austin Bragg.

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Comments

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

"Sinister Elf" That would be a good name for a band.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Death-Metal band that only does covers of Ronnie James Dio songs.

[Juice]

LOL

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

Needs moar consonance. How about "Sinister Elf Fister"?

[Zeb]

I like "pasty goblin" better.

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

LOL

[Charles Easterly]

"Sinister Elf" That would be a good name for a ban

I am not in disagreement with you here, EES, yet I wanted to direct your attention to the Drive-By-Truckers, who have a song entitled "Mrs. Claus' Kimono" in which the opening lines are:
"I'm a sinister elf
With a sinister plan
Santa's little helper
With too much time on my hands
He's got a fine lookin' wife...."
(unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, I did not find a full length performance to share).

[Charles Easterly]

What a typo! Ban versus Band.

I allot myself many negative points for poor proofreading, yet I think it fits a comment section in which Jeff Sessions is being discussed.

[Unicorn Abattoir]

And their song "Never Gonna Change" seem apropos to Sessions, too. Or "Wallace".

[Charles Easterly]

You will find no disagreement here, UA.

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

Ah, I'll have to look into that. I have one DBT album and it's pretty good, I'll have to look for this one.

[Zeb]

Who is this beardy guy and why can't he button his shirt?

[$park? leftist poser]

He's a "comedian".

[Zeb]

What about the shirt buttoning?

[Unlabelable MJGreen]

Comedians are our new sex symbols.

[Half-Virtue, Half-Vice]

I thought that was plus sized models? Which are fine btw, daddy likes curves.

[Shirley Knott]

"might be" -- that's so cute.
He's a deranged little fuckwit drunk with power and a sense of his own importance. The boats is too good for him, but it would do.

Actually, the perfect ending for that vile little waste of space would be for him to be caught naked in bed with a seriously drugged under age male, a goat, and a selection of sex toys. By a photographer.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Please expand your fanfiction a bit. We've really been lacking in sexual fanfiction about politicians lately...

[Citizen X - #6]

Let's just say that is NOT the facial expression of a man whose sphincter has any tone left.

[loveconstitution1789]

It has been some time since I heard a sphincter with good tone.

Its always shitty.

[BestUsedCarSales]

Clinics are doing botox for that now.

[Chipper Morning, Now #1]

How the fuck did you all of a sudden develop a sense of humor?

[Citizen X - #6]

He claims to've stolen $park?'s? I don't know, that subthread got kind of confusing.

[You're not funny]

He listened.

[$park? leftist poser]

I yelled at him for being a humorless twat this morning. I think he making some bizarre attempt at humor now.

[gaoxiaen]

E. L. Fudgepacker was his roommate in college.

[loveconstitution1789]

Jeff the "@$#/!" Sessions.

[esteve7]

Who did democrats complain loudest about in the media, on facebook, etc. It wasn't Jeff Sessions... it was Betsy Devos. Should tell you somehint

[BestUsedCarSales]

I still see people say that she intends to take education away from all non wealthy people. Which is just either astonishingly ignorant or an incredible misrepresentation of her views.

[JuanQPublic]

Very solid point. Here we have Sessions, the absolute worst person Trump could've nominated for AG, who is the last person who evidence-based criminal justice reformers would want, and the Dems went straight for the hyperbole against Devos.

You're right. It speaks volumes about the Democratic Party.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Has Reason written ANYTHING about the Awans yet?

I mean, seriously - I am FAR from a GOP supporter (or even sympathizwer), and I don't buy in to basically ANY conspiracy theories...but this doesn't even require a conspiracy theory. There is no good reaosn for it to be a 'Republicans vs Democrats' story.

This appears - on its face, with just what we know so far - to be a MASSIVE story of corruption, fraud and weak/compromised IT security on the part of our government. Can someone explain to me how in the fuck this isn't being covered by any news site that isn't totally in the tank for Trump? Am I missing something, somewhere? Is there some key piece of info that has been revealed that casts ANY of the known facts into question?

[Zeb]

What's an Awans?

[BestUsedCarSales]

Seems Awan is DWS's IT guy who may have been involved with the hacking.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

The Awans are a family of Pakistani hustlers who - despite being in bad debt and not having the required skills or experience - were able to get extravagant salaries as IT workers for about 1/5 of Congress, dealing with up to TS/SCI information. They then managed to keep their positions with several Congressional offices for months - literally months - after their access to the network was cut off because they were under criminal investigation for a bevy of corruption, fraud and ethics violations.

One of those hired to a six-figure IT job was at the time still reeling from recently being fired at his job at McDonald's. They were all related/associated with each other. It would appear that - to the overwhelming degree - none of them performed anything even close to a full-time job, and some of them did not work at all. The family has collected over 4 million tax dollars off of this scheme.

Their most die-hard Congressional supporter was Debbie Wasserman Schultz, who continued to employ the main hustler all the way up until yesterday - when he was arrested at the airport trying to flee the country only hours after an illegal $300k wire to Pakistan, where his wife had already fled. A few months back, the police confiscated a laptop that had been found hidden in a crevice of an unused building, and DWS threatened them with defunding in an open session if they didn't return the laptop to her. No shit, this happened. There is video of it online.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

There is apparently real fear among Congressional IT aides and the Capital Police that the Awans were using hacked data to blackmail members of Congress into keeping them on the payroll, and being totally silent while the whole scandal has unfolded. There is apparently also evidence that they were taking the data they had access to, and moving it to an off-site repository outside government control. One email leak from the campaign revealed that they had the password to DWS' iPad, and maintained custody of Pelosi's laptop at the same time.

These are just the basic known facts. There is obviously a metric fuckton of speculation around everything at this point, but this is what is known.

[Citizen X - #6]

Mr. Robot x Veep = Washington, DC

[Cynical Asshole]

There is apparently also evidence that they were taking the data they had access to, and moving it to an off-site repository outside government control.

Where have I heard of someone doing something similar before...

[Zeb]

So not the town in Belgium, then.

Sounds pretty fishy. I can't say I've been following the news too closely lately, but it does seem like something worth investigating. I guess the Trump soap opera is more fun.

[? Aggressor]

Any linkies on this story? (i know i can google but i'm that lazy)

[Eek Barba Durkle]

I wish to God I could point you to a 'reputable' site, but Fox Business is the only one that has even mentioned it, that I've seen.

Zerohedge and Daily Caller have both been all over it, if you want to mine them for what is actually, objectively known. Obviously, you have to sift through the spin.

But the story on its own merits is EASILY newsworthy, and it's just a big fat zero in the media.

[timbo]

Don't get too mad about it Eek. These real news stories are always obfuscated by the latest tranny outrage or other bullshit. That is how you know we live in a banana republic. It becomes more obvious every day that all of Washington, to include trump's real interests, are so far ingrained in incest that there is no chance of ever getting a real change agent in there.
All that really matters is the military industrial complex, the FED, the debt schemes, and continuing the entitlement ponzi so whether Trump is genuine about change or not, he has no intension of changing our most perilous problems(above) nor will he fuck with the deep state even if were he to really be genuine. The real money resides in the organizations that both parties and all candidates never touch(above).
This kind of story has far too much relevance to how broken our system is to ever see the light of day by an American reporter. Best we can hope for is more wikileaks on the subject.

[timbo]

It's either that or these guys were fucking Wasserman's ugly ass and she liked getting some dick. She is fucking ugly and had no shot otherwise.

Those middle eastern men certainly don't mind taking down an ugly American chick.

[Palatki]

Especially "forbidden fruit" (let's face it).

[Uncle Jay]

13 Reasons Jeff Sessions is a @$#/!

Sessions is a big fan of confiscating and selling the property of the accused before the guilt or innocence of suspects have been determined.
Nothing fascist about that, now is there?

[Mark22]

It's authoritarian but not particularly fascist.

Fascists don't bother with guilt or innocence at all.

[Dillinger]

Crusty still wears skidz.

[HeteroPatriarch]

It's absolutely incredible that Trump, who pretends to be some kind of anti-establishment outsider, could appoint this ridiculous little Rand villain and still have any kind of support. But then, his opponent was Hillary Clinton, and it's not out of the question that she would've picked Debbie Wasserman Schultz as AG. At least Sessions is getting fired.

[creech]

Maybe it's my civil rights era tv watching days, but when I hear a white man talking like Sessions, I immediately think of some Southern redneck pansy-voiced segregationist saying how he's gonna keep the nigras in their place and out of white kids schools. I know that is unfairly stereotypical but, fifty some years on, that's what that accent conjures up in my mind.

[Eek Barba Durkle]

"I thought the KKK was OK, until I found out they smoke pot." - Jeff Sessions

[macsnafu]

Sessions' alleged racism is more important to most leftists than his actual policy implementations and outcomes.
Being against him for the wrong reasons isn't especially helpful.

[Robespierre Josef Stalin]

I'm a Leftist. I hate Jeff Sessions because he is a Drug War nanny-state conservative who will put thousands of people in jail that don't belong there. That, and he's a despicable racist cracker asshole from 'Bama.

[ChipToBeSquare]

Is it not racist to hate him for being a cracker?

[dave b.]

No. And you might want to brush up on what racism is

[Eek Barba Durkle]

Racism is a prejudice against someone else because of their skin color. So yes, it would actually, factually, obviously be racist.

You're welcome for the free education.

[dave b.]

Not exactly a shock that white people don't know what racism is since you've never experienced it. I'm black, so let me help you out.

When Jeff Sessions finally kills marijuana reforms and rolls out longer sentences, this has an actual disproportionate impact on blacks and hispanics. Just like asset forfeiture. This is racism, whether the intent was there or not. There is an actual cost to people's lives and families here, and not just in time or dollars.

Calling someone a cracker = WORDS. No power. Just name calling. Can I spy on Jeff Sessions' personal communications? Can I have him pulled over and subject to search for being in the wrong neighborhood? If the answer is no, then it's not racist. Maybe you can say it's bigotry at best. I can stand in the middle of Times Square and call Jeff Sessions a cracker all day, and it has not even a billionth of the impact that Sessions has with the stroke of a pen. That's racism.

Pop Quiz - Which one of these is racist:

A. Denying loans to minorities, denying qualified jobs to people with 'ethic' names, forcing blacks to drink out of separate water fountains, stop and frisk, police searches for the crime of driving while black, etc

B. Calling someone a cracker on an internet forum, whose life you have zero power over

[OneSimpleLesson]

Dave,

You're conflating discrimination with racism.

Discrimination is an ACTION which negatively effects members of a certain group.

Racism is a mindset which effects how they see members of different ethnic groups.

This is why we focus on policies and laws that are discriminatory, or that disproportionately affect members of a certain group.

The policies you named will disproportionately effect blacks and hispanics. You could say that his policies are discriminatory. However, I am more concerned with discrimination displayed through actions rather than implicit racism or bias, which is impossible to measure or prove.

I've lurked on this website for years, and I made this account just to respond to your comment.

[jmlandry]

Why didn't your Lefty president re-send schedule weed? Democrats and Republicans both support jack booted thugism.

[Trigger Warning]

A man like Sessions- a cruel, ignorant man who lusts for power and authority- is unfit to be a leader among supposedly free people.

Republitards are always just as bad, if not worse, than Libtards, when it come to law and order, tough on crime, prohibitionist drug warrior nonsense. It is so tiresome to have to listen to such men puke their idiocy into the general discourse.

[Mark22]

Republitards are always just as bad, if not worse, than Libtards, when it come to law and order, tough on crime,

It's almost like... voters actually might want that.

[jmlandry]

Naaa. I think if the Dems would embrace weed and the tax generation potential, they could win.

[? Aggressor]

Everything Sesh does is the definition of motivated ignorance. but then again, so is a lot of what all the Top Men? do.

[Rich Muny]

#1a: He claims to support federalism yet seeks a federal shutdown of state-licensed poker and iGaming websites.?

[jmlandry]

Tell fucktard sessions to shove it up his loose ass. There I said it.

[Rockabilly]

Evil twit claims to be of the limited government party, yet behaves as if he is a member of the politburo - arresting people for putting something into their own body not approved by central committee. He is part of the enemy within.

How The "War On Drugs" Brought Communism To America

http://freedominourtime.blogsp.....sm-to.html

[Mark22]

Truly awful. Still better than Holder, I'm afraid.

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[Cloudbuster]

sinister elf.

Why do you hate elves?

[Jacks61]

Sessions is a little toad, lazy and uninventive. The US has spent billions on the war on drugs that started in the early 70's (Nixon). Lets recap briefly. How has this affected the flow of illegal drugs into the country? There's bigger and better distribution, easier to get. Ooh, and we passed tougher laws so private prisons could rake in billions housing the non-violent.

[lunu]

And yeah--the fact that NK can probably hit EVERY US STATE EXCEPT FLORIDA should scare the living shit out of us all--yet--the WH is so immersed in juvenile antics and insults and putting paste in the girls hair they haven't even noticed.||| EARN MONEY JOB -

[Allen Muncy]

Remy & Andrew Heaton are legitimately the best things about Reason.

[PlaystoomuchHALO]

Shouldn't Sessions get back to writing how he smoked Indian Hemp once back in the War of 1812 and it was obviously the work of the devil?

[xmindallas]

In the age where we are removing from the public square reminders of the time when some of our states left the union because they wanted to continue to hold other human beings as slaves, it shouldn't take much imagination to show that someone named Jefferson [Davis, President of the Confederacy] [Confederate General] Beauregard Sessions III is an unrepentant racist. He is a lawyer and hasn't yet figured out how to legally change his name. His sickening (and racist -- doing whatever he can to imprison minorities) views as the man in charge of justice in our federal government are just icing on the cake.

[PeterElfvin]

So, because the Attorney General is looking to enforce a federal law, unlike the previous Attorney General who purposely looked the other way, allowed states to set up mechanisms to collect state taxes from the sale of a federally illegal drug (an illegality that congress has not been able to overturn) he is somehow responsible for "restarting the drug war on Marijuana"?

Where is the responsibility of the congress to repeal Marijuana from the Schedule 1 drug list? Is the Attorney Generals job to tell the rest of the Dept of Justice that they don't need to enforce laws the Attorney General says "Don't Matter Anymore"? Where is the role of congress in making and repealing these laws?

This objection seems to be more like "This Attorney General doesn't want to pretend the federal laws against Marijuana don't exist and so he is objectionable".

[Ned Netterville]

Good karma would have Jeff reincarnated as a black slave on a Mississippi cotton plantation with a white Nat Turner as his overseer.

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