Cops Shutdown Jerry Seinfeld; What's Up with Lemonade Stands? (Nanny of the Month, Aug '15)
Well, this is it—after six years, Nanny of the Month is packing it in, but not before one last hurrah!
Growing vegetables, selling Chipotle burritos, photoshopping models, feeding the homeless, wearing naughty beige yoga pants, and engaging in consensual sex—over the years busybodies have been itching to bust you for all those crimes.
But for the very last episode we head to the Hamptons for a story that highlights why we may be completely and utterly doomed.
Here's the deal: A cop shut down a lemonade stand. Yeah, we've heard that story enough times we almost forget to be outraged, but in this case the lemonade stand was run by Jerry Seinfeld and his son.
In other words, celebrity—the one force that could plausibly be strong enough to overpower our control-freak culture—got squeezed like an overripe eureka in a gorilla cage.
84 seconds.
Nanny of the Month is written and produced by Ted Balaker (@tedbalaker). Edited by R. Campopiano.
To watch previous episodes, go here.
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If I were the chief of police in that jurisdiction, I would e asking that cop if he was planning an encore; say, sucker-punching a gorilla? I simply cannot imagine some cop approaching that lemon aid stand, finding out whose kids it was, and thinking "Yeah, that'll go well."
Prolly couldn't read the instructions for turning on the teevee.
Do we know for sure that someone called the police, or was some asshole cop (redundant) just driving by and took the initiative? And does it matter?
Ah, so it looks like the neighbor called about illegally parked cars, and then the fascist gene kicked in.
Paging Jackie Chiles.........
It's outrageous, egregious, preposterous.
Do we have a chance? You get me one [lemonade] drinker on that jury, you gonna walk outta there a rich man.
Already way better than the series finale.
I must have missed it. Why no more NOTM?
Because, since this is the long awaited Libertarian Moment, there are no nannies left.
I don't know if they were all fed to woodchippers, hanged, guillotined, or if they just all saw the light, but we are free at last, free at last!
I f the Libertarian Moment rids of of the impetus for such sublime snark, I'm not sure it will have been worth it.
Uh.. um... (scratches head and looks thoughtful/confused)... er... thanks?
... there are no nannies left. Then who will raise all those celebrity children ?
Fat chance anyway, those particular nannies are just unhappy people hoping to make more unhappy people. Sorta like the Republican party these days.
Because it's so popular that the first comment on this post was by a spammer?
Maybe it is changing to NOTW.
Nick, that's Editor in Chief, CH-I-E-F. I before E except after C, barring some Republican exceptions like seize weird foreign species.
I'm pretty sure shutdown is wrong. The headline should read, "Cops Shut Down Jerry Seinfeld." Shutdown is a noun.
"Shutdown" is a noun; "shut down" is a verb phrase.
That's what I said.
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