Advance Your Political Career by Hassling Small Soap Makers! (Nanny of the Month, May '15)

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Advance Your Political Career by Hassling Small Soap Makers! (Nanny of the Month, May '15)

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They're pounding online gambling in Nevada and AirBnB in California, but this month we zero in on, well, California–but also Maine! Because the bipartisan Senate duo of Dianne Feinstein (D-CA) and Susan Collins (R-ME) is messing with small-time soap makers and looking squeaky clean in the process!

Sure their new bill would dump new fees and regulations on artisanal cosmetics makers to fix a problem that doesn't exist, but on the other hand the Personal Care Products Safety Act provides a handy blueprint for all those lowly state senators looking to take the next big step. These savvy senators reveal (in three easy steps!) how to advance your career by advancing the nanny state!

About 2 minutes.

Follow Nanny of the Month on Twitter (@NannyoftheMonth) and submit your nominees for next month!

Nanny of the Month is written Ted Balaker (@tedbalaker) and produced by Balaker and Matt Edwards (@MattChrisEd). Edited by Edwards.

To watch previous episodes, go here.

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Comments

[sarcasmic]

Looks like Two-Term Collins (she ran for office promising to only serve two terms and then step down, like Senators of old) is planning to run for governor after she finishes her third term. She got a taste of power and liked it. A lot.

[Florida Man]

[GENERIC FIGHT CLUB REFERENCE]

[Mint Berry Crunch]

Yep, I'm not sure exactly what I was going to say, but it certainly involved the words Paper Street Soap Company.

[Rhywun]

I was going to mumble something about "selling their fat asses back to them" but Florida Man ruined it.

[Florida Man]

*licks Rhywun's tears*
Oh! Oh my! Quite the vintage. I must save some in an ornate crystal vial to enjoy later.

[Loki]

That's probably what set these two old bitties off. They found out that expensive soap they've been buying for more than $20 dollars a bar is made from their own fat asses.

[gaoxiaen]

Don't talk about it.

[Loki]

Dammit.

[SoCal Soccar Mom]

You forgot the first rule of Fight Club.

[SIV]

Do you know who else made soap?

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Mr Ed?

[Rich]

The Soap Nazi?

[Invisible Finger]

I laughed.

[Loki]

Tyler Durden.

OK, THAT was the last one, I swear.

[Suthenboy]

My wife has the soap making bug. She caught it from my sister-in-law.

Both were mostly conservative before this, now they lean heavily towards libertarianism. It was a good fit before, but now they are truly seeing the light.

Also, Feinstein and Collins should both go find a long, sharp stick to sit on. Or a vat of Sodium Hydroxide solution. We can call it Lye for Liars.

[sarcasmic]

My mom was into making soap for a while. Nothing like the smell of rendering tallow in the morning. *barf*

[gaoxiaen]

I love the smell of tallow in the morning.

[SoCal Soccar Mom]

I started making soap about 15 years ago. The hobby attracts a very interesting crowd.

[Loki]

Is the Paper Street Soap Company one of the ones affected by this?

[Harold Falcon]

There's a local soap shop here that sells homemade soap. It smells nice to walk past during the afternoons.

I have no idea how it stays in business being just off main street in an expensive area of town but more power to them.

[sarcasmic]

Margins. Soap is cheap to make.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

It's a front for opium smugglers. The soap smell obscures the smell of the drugs.

Note to their lawyers: That was a joke.

[Michael Price]

It's not a bad idea though...

[Michael Price]

It's not a bad idea though...

[Loki]

I have no idea how it stays in business being just off main street in an expensive area of town

They probably do it by stealing all their lard from liposuction clinics.

OK, that's the last Fight Club reference, I promise.

[Rufus J. Firefly]

Come on! Feinstein is just assuring we get 99.6% pure soap!

Would be interesting to do a follow up and see for certain L'Oreal and other big corporations do give in relation to this bill.

Also. They don't mind fucking around with small business but then turn around and demand they pay people a living wage. Apparently, small business owners aren't allowed to earn a living wage.

Lord, do I loathe such politicians.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Small businesses need to be socially responsible - make the products they're told, sell to whom they're told, pay the wages they're told, etc.

If they can't fulfill these requirements, they should close down.

OK, that's settled, now let's hold some hearings on the unacceptably high jobless rate in minority communities.

[DesigNate]

Bernie Sanders approves this message.

[Notorious G.K.C.]

Don't stand downwind of him, he's not a fan of deodorant.

[Akira]

OK, that's settled, now let's hold some hearings on the unacceptably high jobless rate in minority communities.

Clearly, the problem is that the people starting new businesses are racist. Prospective business owners should have no say in where they locate their businesses; the government should assign them a building. This way, the government (that's us!) can force these greedy entrepreneurs to create living-wage jobs in inner city war zones! It's so simple, I can't believe I never thought of it before!

/prog

[shoesmall]

..

[SimonD]

*sigh*. Typical.

99.4% pure BS. So pure it floats.

[Bobos]

The FDA has also gotten into the business of regulating cloth pads. (Close your eyes, men. I'm about to talk about menstruation products.) Cloth pads are obviously what they sound like -- a reusable, eco-friendly, rectangular cloth product used for a woman's favorite time of the month. You'll mostly find them on Etsy being made via at-home mommy businesses. The FDA has since branded cloth pads a "medical device," and these moms are required to register their product with the govt.

I was talking to a Canadian woman who sells these pads on Etsy. Her page says no sales to the US, because she's paranoid about feds bothering her. She directs Americans who want to buy from her to Paypal, where they can make an unlisted transaction. You'd think she was selling drugs or something.

[shoesmall]

I'm not sure exactly what I was going to say, but it certainly involved the words Paper Street Soap Company.

[basoxumoca]

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is wha- I do...... ?????? http://www.jobnet20.com

[zibutupaba]

Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it out.
This is wha- I do...... ?????? http://www.www.jobnet20.com

[DonaldCVWriter]

Only big business, government and politicians benefit from these kinds of regulation. The people the regulations are said to protect lose their right to buy from the small producer with a superior product.?