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Free Minds & Free Markets

Sex Dolls Are Getting Smarter. Don't Be Alarmed.

Robot romance is simply an "alternative form of relationship," not a replacement for human lovers or a deviant kink, says RealDoll creator.

@abyssrealdoll/Instagram@abyssrealdoll/InstagramWhen it comes to lifelike sex dolls (which currently exist) and sexbots (which do not yet), people are prone to two contradictory and misguided beliefs: that only rapey perverts would use them, and that they pose a major threat to our social and sexual order.

Matt McMullen, the man behind the most popular "love doll" on the market, isn't buying either.

In a recent interview with Mel magazine, the CEO of Abyss Creations and creator of RealDoll, said his creations are not simply about sex and doubts they will ever capture a huge share of the sexual market.

In my Reason sexbot feature a few years ago, I noted that not even the most starry-eyed roboticists, futurists, and philosophers expect sex with robots to become a majority pastime. If the technology gets good enough and the products cheap enough, they might play the same role sex toys and strip clubs do now, without their customers automatically being considered creepy perverts.

But for a much smaller group, be they current love-doll keepers or future robot lovers, these silcone companions will be something more—and that's OK too.

Far from turning men into monsters who start to see living women as objects, love dolls and sexbots can provide something vital (and healthy) to people whose anxiety, disability, or other issues have made romantic relationships difficult, I suggested. It seems McMullen agrees:

Our customers can be shy or socially intimidated by real social situations. A lot of times the doll does something magical for them. It gives them a feeling of not being alone, not being a loner. It's that companionship, more than anything else, that appeals to people and gives them confidence to interact socially.

[...] A lot of people develop hobbies they never had, like studying fashion to dress their doll differently, taking up photography to capture their doll on film or painting her on canvas, or even learning how to sculpt while using their doll as a model or a muse. She inspires creativity in people who never had it previously. Sex lasts 5 or 10 minutes, maybe half an hour on a good day. But what about the other 23.5 hours of the day?

Abyss Creations is launching its first artificially intelligent add-ons to the love doll line. In April, it released the Harmony AI app, a sort of sexy and customizable version of Siri. The idea is to help work out any programming kinks before releasing the same "Realbotix" software as part of a robotic RealDoll head, Harmony AI, which customers can attach to any existing RealDoll.

@abyssrealdoll/Instagram@abyssrealdoll/Instagram"Creating a full-body robot as a first step would be foolish," McMullen explained to Endgadget in April. "I don't think that you would necessarily have a realistic idea of how many people would even buy it, and why would they buy it? And what would it do? Would it walk? Would it be able to lift heavy things for you? When you start working your way down from the head, you're treading into some very expensive territory. So, before we step into that, we think doing the head first makes sense."

Besides, the technology just isn't there yet. As Guile Lindroth, the engineer behind Harmony AI, told Endgadget, "even the most simple functions that a 2-year-old human can do still elude the most fantastically advanced robot."

No matter how clunky, the AI technology additions have spurred accusations that McMullen is objectifying real women. "I've been making these dolls for 20 years and haven't heard a lot of people yelling and screaming that I'm objectifying women," he noted in Mel. "Then I make the dolls that talk, and now, they're upset. Which is funny because I'm stepping away from it being purely an object and giving it some personality."

McMullen dismissed the idea that his creations are feminism's enemies. "People have asked me this question a lot over the years, 'You know, are you making these dolls to replace women?' And, that's really never been even on the radar. It's an alternative form of relationship, nothing more."

As I concluded for Reason:

On the margins, sexbots could dissuade some individuals from pursuing human-to-human intimacy and relationships, just as pornography, sex toys, and everything from alcohol to work are also sometimes used to avoid attachments. But it has become clear through countless bouts of cultural and technological change that, for the most part, people see no substitute for knowing and loving another person. To predict sexbots as even moderately widespread stand-ins for sex and relationships reveals a not-insignificant misanthropism.

That isn't to say that individual use of sex robots is misanthropic. For many men and women, they will remain ancillary to interhuman relationships, more like sex toys than humanity surrogates. For a subset, social robots may provide opportunities for companionship and sexual satisfaction that otherwise wouldn't exist. When this occurs, we'd all do well to remember that having faith in human institutions and relationships means not panicking over new possibilities. Staying conscientious but open-mined toward the use of social robots, including sex robots, can only enhance our understanding of what it means to be—and to fall for—human beings.

Photo Credit: @abyssrealdoll/Instagram

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  • Charles Easterly||

    Am I the only one who thinks the four n the first picture look like Cro-Magnons?

  • pan fried wylie||

    That's partly their "amazed at the harnessing of fire for the first time" poses.

  • pan fried wylie||

    hmmm, or maybe more a "how are we going to carry home all this mammoth"

  • paranoid android||

    I got more of a "trying to hold in a massive dump" vibe.

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    Yeah. It's pretty hot.

  • Murgatroyd||

    That variant only sells in Germany...

  • Robbzilla||

    What part of Germany?

    ...asking for a friend.

  • ||

    I was thinking "Getting ready to put you in a headlock" personally.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    I just thought they had the squat cobbler feature installed.

  • I can't even||

    They all look bow-legged - like they just rode a horse a hundred miles.

  • MJBinAL||

    a hundred miles ..... this morning.

  • Teddy Pump||

    LOL!!!...Yeah they have to work on their graceful poses!!!

  • $park¥ leftist poser||

    They're all posed for anal, which is the real reason to get one.

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    ^ gay.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    Aw, $park¥, that sucks. Persistence is the key.

  • MJBinAL||

    $park¥, that is too much personal information.

  • Zeb||

    I don't know. I've never met a Cro-Magnon of either sex.

  • CE||

    Cro Magnons were homo sapiens just like us, so yes, you have.

  • Dillinger||

    life-size G.L.O.W.

  • Dadlobby||

    Says the guy who's never gone "ugly fat" at 2 am (and who we all know is lying)
    .

  • pan fried wylie||

    taking up photography to capture their doll on film or painting her on canvas, or even learning how to sculpt while using their doll as a model

    "It's cheaper and stands still better than a live model, but yes, I fuck it too."

  • timbo||

    Why is she trying to explain away being a sad creepy freak so much?

    And to counter that, having one in my living room in college would have been a fantastic conversation starter.

  • Jimothy||

    Or ender.

  • BYODB||

    Sorry, but these fall into the uncanny valley for me. What would you call someone who is 'in a relationship' with a mannequin, if not mentally ill or otherwise deranged enough to be considered 'very freaking weird'.


    And yes, I know a guy who had one of these and he was the creepiest son of a bitch I think I've ever met. I could not have possibly been happier when I moved away from that perverted creeper.

  • Jerry on the sea||

    And yes, I know a guy who had one of these and he was the creepiest son of a bitch I think I've ever met. I could not have possibly been happier when I moved away from that perverted creeper.

    That's no way to talk about Andrew McCarthy.

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    We both made similar references at the same time!

    BROTHER!

    *hugs*

  • timbo||

    Nothing's gonna stop us now.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    That was actually a pretty good movie with a good point.

  • MJBinAL||

    or $park¥ either

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    What would you call someone who is 'in a relationship' with a mannequin,

    Lars?

    *patiently awaits kudos*

  • BYODB||

    One of my ex-girlfriends made me watch that movie, and yeah she was pretty creepy too. Not as creepy as the movie, though, although it had most of the same arguments contained within it as they seem to claim in this article.

  • GeoffB1972||

    Where does Weird Science fit into this?

  • Ecoli||

    kudos.

    I hope you didn't wait unduly long.

  • Teddy Pump||

    GREAT MOVIE!!!!

  • ||

    What would you call someone who is 'in a relationship' with a mannequin, if not mentally ill or otherwise deranged enough to be considered 'very freaking weird'.

    The person I 'knew' who owned one wouldn't exactly call what they have a relationship and it's no more absurd than the people who've never met in real life and consider themselves in a relationship.

    If you think it's weird now, just wait until they start insisting on the gendered pronouns you use to refer to it.

  • BYODB||


    ...it's no more absurd than the people who've never met in real life and consider themselves in a relationship

    So, in your view, having a relationship with an inanimate object is no more absurd than having a 'relationship' with a real person that you can not see.

    Usually you seem smarter than this, but I'll assume you mean 'in the ballpark of absurd' instead of 'equally non-absurd'. I still don't agree, since at least a human far away and out of sight is still a separate consciousness from yourself rather than something that has the intelligence of a literal rock but to each their own, I suppose.

    I don't think these should be illegal or anything, I just think the people who buy these should be shunned.

    Shunnnnnnnned.

  • ||

    So, in your view, having a relationship with an inanimate object is no more absurd than having a 'relationship' with a real person that you can not see.

    I don't disagree that there's plenty of room for overlapping dysfunction.

    I know lots and lots of people who, iteratively across several games/releases, identified more with their fantasy/MMORPG selves and considered that to be more real than their physical lives. Virtual sex with people they couldn't possibly identify in real life was a feature, not a bug. Compared to them, the guy I know who bought one of these as something between novelty prop and sperm dumpster seemed... more well adjusted. I fully acknowledge that he may be a misrepresentation of the average basement-dwelling consumer, but I think the average basement-dwelling consumer would probably prefer the real thing, all else being equal.

    Turning down actual sex or even a date with another human for either one is certainly laughable. One group, IMO, seems more predisposed than the other to acknowledge that sentiment.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Mad.casual, I once choose cybersex with strangers over real life sex with a neighbor who needed a place to spend the night when she got kicked out of the homeless shelter for ending up in detox and her boyfriend's bus back from the city was late. Did I make the wrong move?

  • ||

    Did I make the wrong move?

    Yes. If your homeless, drugged-out neighbor is hitting you up with a 'sex for crashing on the couch' proposition, you've made a laughably wrong move somewhere.

  • Ariki||

    Yes, whats a casual stabbing if you get to stick it in a crazy girls bum?

  • NotAnotherSkippy||

    This can only lead to the end of the human race and invasion by aliens.

  • Charles Easterly||

    This can only lead to the end of the human race and invasion by aliens.

    Your statement reminds me that I haven't seen any comments by "Mr. Lizard" or "The Machine" in quite some time. Have you?

  • timbo||

    If the aliens look like this, probe away friendo.

  • Mickey Rat||

    Mr. Lizard got hooked on ginger.

  • Dadlobby||

    Mary Anne dude. Ginger is an entitled snob who expect men fawning on her, Ginger will appreciate it. Geenie if you want kink though (70's show or fable depending on preference).

  • Voros McCracken||

    "Sorry, but these fall into the uncanny valley for me. What would you call someone who is 'in a relationship' with a mannequin, if not mentally ill or otherwise deranged enough to be considered 'very freaking weird'."

    Lonely. Understand that some men are just shit out of luck, but their evolutionary impulses don't go away.

  • BYODB||


    Understand that some men are just shit out of luck, but their evolutionary impulses don't go away.

    ...is there a male version of the Real Doll that this company sells? Only asking because I know plenty of shit out of luck women and it seems odd that all of the emphasis on this market is on men.

    What about the 'Real Gentleman' product lineup? Or are women immune to genetic impulse?

  • pan fried wylie||

    I don't see the appeal, once they realize it can't pay it's own credit card bill, and what's the point of nagging something that can't FEEL nagged.

    /tipyourwaitress

  • ||

    There is. Featured in an HBO special. I can't imagine any woman admitting she had one...

  • BYODB||

    Great, now I have an impulse to see if I can find a sales comparison just to see if men or women spend more money on simulacrum sex. Well, I mean not that we can know the sex of the person that bought it I suppose.

    I suspect that as a percentage of sex-toys sales, women make up the vast majority of it while men make up most of pornography viewing. That's really just a wild stab in the dark, but it seems like there's an implication in there somewhere.

  • Dadlobby||

    I am morally superior and hence I don't have sex with anything other than a real vagina. SO for my woman also, no sex toys, no masterbating, and nothing but missionary sex to procreate.

  • Robert||

    I'd have trouble getting over my urge to treat it as a baby doll or stuffed animal. My sister was embarrassed once when I was waiting in the driveway with her and unthinkingly petting the clay pussy cat she'd made.

  • Mr. Smacky||

    I'll take the broken De-frackulator, and my grandson wants the sex robot

  • damikesc||

    Don't get the fear of this. Many women have vibrators and you don't see men losing their shit over it. This is not appreciably different.

  • Agammamon||

    Vibrators still can't open jars or take out the trash. Wait til the robot can do the laundry.

  • pan fried wylie||

    Will the robot sit on the washer to get off too?

  • Agammamon||

    Does it matter? As long as my clothes are clean.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Agammamon dreams of the day that he can entirely automate sex - he will have appliances do all the fuckin', freeing up valuable productive time.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    He bought a dildo and a fleshlight, attached each to a hammer drill, and had them battle it out.

  • Libertarian||

    Future conversation:

    Dude 1: I think my droid is cheating on me.
    Dude 2: With who?
    Dude 1: My washer.
    Dude 2: Why do you think it's your washer?
    Dude 1: There's suds all over the floor.

  • Dillinger||

    funny.

  • MJBinAL||

    If you put it on TV, would it be a soap opera?

  • Robbzilla||

    Hell at that point, my wife might want one.

  • CE||

    Wait til there are male robots for women. Then they'll be viewed as "liberating".

  • BYODB||

    It's very different. A flesh light would be a closer analogy. I don't think many women buy a dildo with an entire fake man attached to it. Probably because it would be unbearably creepy.

  • ||

    I don't think many women buy a dildo with an entire fake man attached to it.

    Yes, severed penis is much less creepy.

    Also, Amazon provides plenty of evidence that some other parts of a man are desirable to at least some people.

  • BYODB||

    it's a different kind of creepy, perhaps, but somehow a severed plastic dick and a flashlight with a vagina on it manage to be less creepy than a vacant glassy-eyed robot. Maybe it's just me.

  • NotAnotherSkippy||

    Possibly.

  • ||

    Maybe it's just me.

    Yeah, I think that's just you or your personality type. I know for certain if you offered 14-yr.-old mad.casual a fleshlight or a real doll, the first question would be, "How the fuck am I going to hide a real doll?" followed by an acceptance that, eventually, it would be found. Also, it would probably be a bad idea to bury it for a whole host of reasons.

  • timbo||

    On a subject this f*cked up, mad and BYODB are exactly right somehow.

  • Dillinger||

    totally not just you.

  • Brandybuck||

    When I die, I want one of you to quickly come by and hide my fleshlight before my mother finds out I had one. it's in the small cardboard box in the box of the hall closet.

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

  • Charles Easterly||

    It has been quite a while since I've seen a satirical website as well constructed and written as that one.

    You have my thanks, MJGreen.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    Seconded.

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    It's a spin off or sister or what-have-you of the Onion. They know what they're doing.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Clickhole is The Onion's take on Buzzfeed-esque clickbait sites, and it is exquisite.

  • ||

    When I die, I want one of you to quickly come by and hide my fleshlight before my mother finds out I had one. it's in the small cardboard box in the box of the hall closet.

    Are you to be buried with it or is it willed to someone? Asking for a friend.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    He wants to be buried with it on his penis. The challenge for the embalmer will be obvious.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Actually, rigamortis gives the cadaver a hard-on.

  • MJBinAL||

    oh man, a hard on and no way for him to enjoy it!

    uh oh, would that be erectile misfortune?

  • timbo||

    Yeah but women are hot as hell when using a vib. The thought of bill from IT getting freaky with a rubber woman is makes me very ill and little scared.

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    You just need to open up your mind and experience what Bill has to offer. My guess is that you would learn a lot.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    I bet Bill from IT is into it, though. Other peoples' kinks don't give a fuck about your squeamishness.

  • timbo||

    I have a feeling that the even the doll manages to crush his psyche every once in a while.

  • CE||

    That's one of the app options.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Damikesc,

    Men expect to pay rent by getting a job. Being a house wife is still a respectable career for American women. These robots could take away jobs from millions of women from respectable middle class families.

  • Murgatroyd||

    Besides, the technology just isn't there yet. As Guile Lindroth, the engineer behind Harmony AI, told Endgadget, "even the most simple functions that a 2-year-old human can do still elude the most fantastically advanced robot."

    Uggghhhhh...this quote is creepy and awful in context. Need to reword this paragraph somehow to clarify that this is regarding AI in general, not just sexbots.

  • ||

    Dang it!

  • Murgatroyd||

    I'm somewhat relieved that I'm not the only person who read it that way.

    ENB, please modify this paragraph, or take it out entirely. As a libertarian, I'm completely fine with people getting their kink on in ways I find disagreeable, but I'm well aware that pedophilia-simulation will ultimately be a niche demographic for this technology. Hopefully this technology provides an outlet for people that will result in fewer real children being abused. That being said, if the point of the article is to discuss the benefits of a freer, technology-filled sexual future then I think that direct mention of 2-year-olds should be avoided wherever possible.

  • timbo||

    It will go there faster than you can say "house discovered with hundreds of life-like sex dolls in it"

  • Rhywun||

    I must be creepy and awful because I didn't read it that way at all.

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    REPORT HIM!!!!

  • Unlabelable MJGreen||

    Yarp. That reading's a bit of a stretch.


    No, not like that!

  • Zeb||

    Yeah, it was a comment on the state of robotics in general, not sex-bots in particular.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    ENB needs to add a sentence: To be sure, Lindroth is referring to the mental capacities of a 2-year-old and the cognitive abilities present day AI, and not what your sick mind immediately conjured.

  • Jimothy||

    That reminds me, where is Robby these days?

  • sharmota4zeb||

    A better rephrasing:

    Current AI technology limits sexbots to an IQ of 10.

  • Ariki||

    Lol, you filthy fucker.
    All I can think about when reading this is ginormous fake titties and no gag reflex.

  • ||

    As Guile Lindroth, the engineer behind Harmony AI, told Endgadget, "even the most simple functions that a 2-year-old human can do still elude the most fantastically advanced robot."

    Pro-tip: When trying to avoid looking like a perverted sex doll engineer, avoid relative comparisons to infants.

  • DJF||

    Do they make sandwiches?

  • SIV||

    Watch out or your career is over.

  • ||

    Why are they all leaning forward in those wrestling stances?

  • Agammamon||

    Its *somebody's* kink.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    It's not called Suggestion 34.

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    They are doing wall squats.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Wait a minute. So THIS is the kind of robot that Warty has been building?

  • Crusty Juggler - Hero||

    I don't think Warty is a body weight exercise sort of guy.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Warty's love of continuously doing squats is well-known and extensively documented, dawg.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    Those sex dolls have vaginas that are way too small for The Doomcock.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    The Doomcock opens all apertures.

  • Rhywun||

    They all look a little top-heavy to me.

  • Dillinger||

    yes! for criminy, some peeps just don't care for DD.

  • Agammamon||

    they might play the same role sex toys and strip clubs do now, without their customers automatically being considered creepy perverts.

    Is this an example of female privilege?

    Because men who use sex toys and men who frequent less-than-eyewateringly-expensive strip joints are considered creepy perverts *now*.

  • Rhywun||

    men who frequent less-than-eyewateringly-expensive strip joints are considered creepy perverts *now*

    I don't know about that. I've been to more than one bachelor party that ended up exactly there.

  • timbo||

    You should stay away from sex toys with the guys.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Real Dolls: now with debilitating back problems!

  • $park¥ leftist poser||

    Who cares? It doesn't have to get up and walk around.

  • timbo||

    Real Dolls: now about to take intentional ball 4 to pitch to the 9 spot.

  • Robert||

    Ball 4? You're not man enough to bean her?

  • Citizen X - #6||

    For a subset, social robots may provide opportunities for companionship and sexual satisfaction that otherwise wouldn't exist.

    See: the saddest thing ever invented.

  • Charles Easterly||

    Here is the version with English subtitles for those of us who want to experience the full sadness Citizen X mentioned.

  • Number 7||

    from the comments:

    "Jokes on him. When he's at work Gatebox girl is totally fucking the microwave while the toaster watches."

  • $park¥ leftist poser||

    I'll have to talk to my wife about these. I think she'd be happy if I got one and left her alone. My biggest problem would be which super hero chick to make her look like. I'm leaning towards Rogue, but Psylocke might be good too.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Are you trying to beat Chipper Morning for the un-coveted title of Worst Sex Life?

  • $park¥ leftist poser||

    "Alright, let's get this over with" is the hottest spoken sentence in the history of talking.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    $park¥ can't get off unless his wife rolls her eyes and checks email on her phone.

  • ||

    I thought he was a member of GenX and just assumed this to be the case.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    Not only that, but he has to fiddle with the cable box.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    It doesn't even matter if that's a euphemism or not.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Frankly, staying with my ex-roommate and buying one of these would have been a better plan than encouraging him to meet his girlfriend in Europe to see if the arranged marriage would work out.

  • CE||

    Sounds like the beginning of a screen play...

  • OM Nullum gratuitum prandium||

    Sex Dolls Are Getting Smarter. Don't Be Alarmed


    Who's alarmed?

    :-)

  • pan fried wylie||

    enough with calling them dolls, the preferred nomenclature is 'Action Figures'.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Skynet? More like skanknet.

  • timbo||

    Am I the only one who thinks the author has one of these and is trying to be an apologist for being a creepy pervert loser?

    Although I will say, their proportions are quote exquisite.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    Am I the only one who thinks the author has one of these and is trying to be an apologist for being a creepy pervert loser?

    You almost certainly are. Have you never read one of ENB's articles before?

  • timbo||

    Very few articles are worth reading on this site anymore. Preaching to the choir gets boring. The commentariat is the only entertainment here.

  • notJoe||

    Timbo you dork, the author is a lady.

  • Dillinger||

    you say that like it matters

  • timbo||

    Exactly. You don't think a that woman who has sex with robots would find these things attractive?

  • BYODB||

    Yeah, I mean it's possible either ENB is a lesbian or that the Real Doll just prefers double-dildo's. Who are you to judge once you've already accepted the premise that you're having sex with a retail window display and there's nothing wrong with that? ^_-

  • timbo||

    You can mail in your dating card when you stoop this low for sure.

    Is this article in jest? I cannot find any realistic scenario where a sex doll guy is not a creepy perv.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Couples who prefer polygamy and have not found those special someones to join them in real life.

  • Dillinger||

    don't want to be murdered by cragislist...don't want disease...just need an extra peep

  • ||

    I cannot find any realistic scenario where a sex doll guy is not a creepy perv.

    This is way too narrow. Creepy perv, massive egotistical chauvinist, eerily vindictive ex-partner/spouse, and general low-life scumbag all fit the mold pretty well, IMO.

    I mean, once the stripper is fucking you to get the free breakfast at Denny's are we really gonna split hairs about who's emotionally unavailable and whether they're disgusting, creepy, or disgustingly creepy?

  • Fuck You - Cut Spending||

    Would these be useful in prisons? Or is the power element in ass rape too strong to overcome?

    I just want to see the guards' union get forced into cleaning the damn things. But I'm sure it will just be Mexicans.

  • Half-Virtue, Half-Vice||

    My question, where are all the male dolls with piston penises to replace all of us? I see the sex doll road going both ways.

  • Dadlobby||

    http://www.adameve.com/adult-s.....1503.aspx, Vibrators=386, Dildos=136, Male masterbators=114 (less than anal toys), womens toys 345 to men's 283. And now I'm browsing. Every ex wife give all the toys back so when I die just hand them out at the reading of the will while you all drink all my alcohol. If your embarrassed by it, why do you do it?

  • Tony||

    I'd be more in the "human surrogate" market. Presumably a robot wouldn't snore or talk about boring things or leave messes in the kitchen.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    You've made your dislike of and disregard for the rest of humanity pretty clear over the years.

  • ||

    Stop talking dirty to him. You know he likes that.

  • timbo||

    Tony couldn't get laid in a VR lab full of ample busted dolls with their mouths open and bending over. Tony couldn't get laid at the Blue Oyster from police academy.

    Tony couldn't get laid at San Quinton.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    Since Tony is gay, you are not wrong, except for the San Quinton part.

  • timbo||

    I covered all bases. It's important to be inclusive.

  • Tony||

    Yet people still come to my parties.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    While i'm interested in abnormal psychology, i'm not an expert or anything, so i can't really theorize as to why that might be (if it's true at all). Maybe some folks don't like themselves much, and being around hatefulness helps them justify their worldview, which in its own perverse way is a comfort? I don't know. There's all kinds of people out there.

  • Tony||

    Booze makes me cheerful, and I tell good jokes. And provide free booze.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    The first sentence is definitely just stuff you tell yourself, but people will undergo surprising amounts of unpleasantness for free booze, so that mystery is solved.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    Well, that certainly explains why Citizen X would drive all the way to Chicago with Crusty to visit Mikey.

    This could have been a great sequel to my Fist And Crusty Go To Yellowstone movie, except, spoiler alert, Crusty dies at the end of that movie.

    I am either gonna have to figure out how to explain he is still alive, or Citizen X will be travelling with Zombie Crusty.

  • timbo||

    Do you think Tony's first joke is about evil corporations?

  • Tony||

    Never politics at social functions. Not that I'd hang out with libertarians.

  • ||

    Why not? You hang out with us all day on the intertubes.
    Or is it more that your progressive friends wouldn't approve?

  • Tony||

    They're usually awkwardly antisocial.

  • notJoe||

    You probably throw fun parties.

    Dunno if I could get over the hammer & sickle-emblazoned cupcakes though...

  • Tony||

    I hate themed parties, but a "communist party" is almost too good to pass up.

  • Dillinger||

    >>"communist party"

    key parties, c.1977

  • Dillinger||

    i'd show.

  • BYODB||

    There is something deeply ironic about a socialist being more attracted to a product of a capitalist system than they are to a blooded human, but they do say that opposites attract I suppose.

    I think their views on labor might piss off their robot sex-friend though. It'll never last!

  • Citizen X - #6||

    If you look at the last 8 or so years of his comments, it becomes apparent Tony's really more of a nihilist than anything.

    Say what you want about the tenets of socialism, at least it's an ethos.

  • BYODB||

    That's...both fair and an excellent quote used in an appropriate context. Nice.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Actually, it makes sense. A socialist votes himself other people's money instead of building friendships based on mutual aid. Of course he prefers a sexbot over a wife.

  • Tony||

    My view on labor is the more robots doing it the better. But the libertarian morality police insist that people do shit in order not to starve, so that's the roadblock.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    Granted, your position makes more sense if you consider sex a form of labor.

  • Tony||

    *Insert perfunctory marriage joke*

  • ||

    Well, libertarians also think that robots will make everything cheaper, so there is less stuff-doing required in order to not starve.
    Eventually we'll all just give eachother back rubs in exchange for a years supply of food.

  • Mark22||

    But the libertarian morality police insist that people do shit in order not to starve, so that's the roadblock.

    Mother nature insists on that.


    Libertarians simply insist that you don't take the fruits of their labor by force.

  • Longtobefree||

    I won't be alarmed until the robots have cell phone capability to call a lawyer the next morning.

  • timbo||

    This might be the only safe way left for a guy who is dumb enough to go to college.

  • Mickey Rat||

    In the immortal words of Colonel Fisk, "You cannot rape a machine."

  • Longtobefree||

    I don't know, on a college campus, you would have to prove the robot gave continuous affirmative consent. Maybe a printout of the full instruction set?
    (based on unverified reports, the girl yelling "YES! YES! YES!" is not consent)

  • SQRLSY One||

    Hey Y'all…

    I've put my tin-foil hat on, and gazed into the future, and here is what I saw:

    Today, many people expect human-mimicking sexbots to evolve out of today's humanoid robots, sex toys, and balloon dolls, and so forth. They are wrong! The REALLY effective humanoid sexbots will evolve as follows: First, scientists will create insect robots, squid robots, fish robots, and so forth, to mimic the sexual courting behaviors of all these creatures… To REALLY prove that they have truly figured out the sex behaviors of the various creatures. But from an ethical and non-interventionist (minimal interventionist) standpoint, these mimics or robots will not "consummate"… They will just flirt… Which will be sufficient to prove that the human scientists have actually, correctly figured out the mating behaviors and pheromones and so forth. The only "consummating" creatures of this sort will be deployed to suppress breeding of un-wanted creatures (disease-laden mosquitos, for example). When THESE kinds of robots are truly near-perfect, only then will they be able to spin derivatives sophisticated enough to fool (or nearly fool) humans.

  • SQRLSY One||

    Then they will deploy them in bars so as to suppress the breeding of humans stupid enough to be deceived!

    Actually I wonder if those are already being secretly deployed, and (when younger and drunker than I am now) I may have "hooked up" with a few of them… Cum to think of it, that makes LOTS of sense!

    Also if you think about it, when human scientists first put robots into the oceans under the ice on the moon Europa, for example, they will want to create robots capable of mimicking the courting behaviors of creatures encountered there… To make sure we understand things properly, of course. Once again, from a minimally-interventionist standpoint, we will not want our robots to "consummate"; we'll want to flirt only… Suppressing the natural breeding of an alien species would be unethical.

    From a similar standpoint, when I was younger and hanging out in bars, the supposed "members of the opposite human sex" that I encountered, who would NOT have sex with me, were almost definitely robots deployed by space aliens, so as to study my sexual behaviors! That's it, dammit! I have fingered it ALL out by now! THIS is how we old geezers finally get wise; we just stew on shit for a long-long time!

  • timbo||

    Excellent tin helmet theory.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    This has certainly been a pair of comments.

  • Dillinger||

    i'm convinced.

    I have fingered it ALL out by now!

    typing, or phrasing?

  • SQRLSY One||

    Phrasing... These ideas were VERY hard to cum by, lemme tell ya...

    I had to push a finger in one ear, and fetch that them thar ideas out the other ear, with long, needle-nosed pliers... Hence, "fingered" out!!!

  • Dillinger||

    well done. sounds painful.

  • Chipper Morning, Now #1||

    I want some of what SQRLSY One is smoking. I do not, however, want one of his custom-built sexbots, which have an unearthly number of extra feet.

  • Citizen X - #6||

    They have 111 feetsies each, the number of the names of GOD!

  • SQRLSY One||

    "...unearthly number of extra feet."

    That is a design FEATURE, not a design BUG!

    It was done that way for all of us... Oooops! I mean, all of THOSE... Perverted foot fetishists "out there"!!!

    I've got to appeal to my clients, ya know...

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    we'll want to flirt only…

    So my sex robot will ask me to fix her laptop?

  • timbo||

    My doll will ask me when I am coming home not 30 seconds after I said "I don't know"

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    That's not flirting, that's marriage.

  • Cynical Asshole||

    When it comes to lifelike sex dolls (which currently exist) and sexbots (which do not yet), people are prone to two contradictory and misguided beliefs: that only rapey perverts would use them, and that they pose a major threat to our social and sexual order.

    To be fair, according to a lot of SJW types all men are "rapey perverts," therefore if only rapey perverts use sex-bots, then that means all men would use them. So for them, those beliefs aren't necessarily contradictory.

  • timbo||

    I doubt it is misguided to consider sex doll people as perverts.
    It is perverted to have sex with a doll. Are we that worried about hurting people's feelings?

  • BYODB||

    Once you begin to walk down the road of defining delusion and madness as a protected group of minorities who should vote in lockstep for a particular party or group, is there a point where you say 'nah, we're drawing the line here you freakazoid'?

    Nah, I don't think there is. I hope I'm wrong though.

  • sharmota4zeb||

    This is why trangederism is so important. What does a person with a penis have to do to convince everyone he is a potential rape victim instead of a potential rapist?

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    I don't don't want to engage in sexual activity with anything that's smarter than I am. Count me out.

  • Schizoidman_21||

    so will they need social rights like equal opportunities in the military?

  • Eric Bana||

    So, the benefits of a woman without actually having to deal with a woman? Uh...

  • sharmota4zeb||

    My aunt wanted to spend the last few months of her life in her own home watching her TV instead of living with her son and his nuclear family. Some people prefer the company of machines to the social options available to them.

  • gjdagis||

    Why is this article only concentrating on dolls for men; I'v read in a number of very reliable sources that they are just as popular among women. I'm extremely dissapointed that a site I generally respect is part of the mainstream that insists on portraying men as sexual desperadoes, and women as innocent, uninterested asexual beings. Get real!

  • David Sims||

    Feminists understand that women have had a monopoly on sexual gratification for men, apart from masturbation, and they don't want that monopoly busted. The feminists DO have a correct understanding of the situation. Their cause is selfish, certainly unjust, and possibly evil, but they haven't made any errors in their calculations. Sexually enabled and lifelike female robots will deprive women of some of their power over men, and with that loss of power will go their undue privileges versus men. Men will become more nearly equals with women in the negotiations that go with real man-woman sexual relationships. Hormones make it difficult for men, especially young men, to see where the demands of girlfriends and fiancees conflict with their own longterm best interests. Women know that, and for a very long time women have been using that fact shamelessly to contrive terms for intimate relationships that benefit themselves at the expense of the men they claim to love. Whatever busts this bitch-cartel is a good thing, I say.

  • SQRLSY One||

    There's a finite supply of pussy in the world, I can see that... Sex-bots might be the cartel-busters!

    (When is "peak pussy" gonna happen, anyway??!?! Before or after "peak derp"?)

  • SQRLSY One||

    Ooooopsie!!! My Bad!!!! Lemme amend...

    WHEN is "peak penis" as well? Gotta be balanced and fair, here....

  • Dadlobby||

    More femi-Marxist angst as they get what they ask for. Vagina Variable-what a woman does is OK, if a man does it it's (insert-wrong, creepy, perverted, abusive, controlling, not responsible, etc., etc.) Gynocentrism, boys. Ever notice how the "controversy" surrounds a female looking "sex bot" but we have had male imitations of male sex organs for females enjoyment for years, with battery operated and mechanical ride on and pumping do-hickeys for women since the 50's? Self manipulation by a man (with aids or otherwise) is "creepy" but when it's by women it is being "empowered". Upon divorcing my last ex wife (she'll be my last ex wife) she handed me the box of sex toys with a scolding "here, these are YOURS!". Even though I come equipped with a perfectly good one, Yup, a box of 7 fake peckers were (the perverted me) mine (even though I have a heterosexual, little finger rule for outeys on a rare occasion and they served her enjoyment). David Sims, you are SPOT ON! Men are going MGTOW and the females are scared shitless as they can't find a good man or a "decent husband" and this will certainly add to the embargo.

  • Teddy Pump||

    We have come a long way from the Blow Up Doll.....(No pun intended!)

  • AlmightyJB||

    I just don't see how such a lame imitation is at all alluring.

  • Up To The Old Shenanigans||

    A first step toward a world described in AMC's "Humans", anyone?

  • Rockabilly||

    Why doll, what's your sign?

  • Holly McLeod||

    You think these are creepy, you should see all the replacement parts you'll have to buy if they start to look a little ragged. *runs and hides* This chick did a post on them here: http://karasutrareviews.com/20.....cessories/

  • Dadlobby||

    The wear and tear on a woman is much worse, can't breed and your prime looks are gone when you're 40 (and men and their fat wallets look good forever).

  • Lester224||

    "men and their fat wallets look good forever"

    Speak for yourself please.

  • C. S. P. Schofield||

    The answer for the hysterics who assert that this is about 'objectifying women' is "Hey, you and your sisters have made having a real relation ship with a real woman so risky and so unpleasant that this simply makes sense. So if you want to do something to stop it, please drop dead."

  • Lester224||

    The guys screwing these dolls would never have girlfriends anyway.

  • macsnafu||

    A sexbot isn't going to be crazy or an SJW feminist. Of course, I suppose a sexbot could go "Westworld" on you.

  • CE||

    What happens when the robots get so smart, they leave you for another guy?

  • tgrondo||

    My girl sex robot....ran off with a guy sex robot....

  • tgrondo||

    And why do they always dress up these sex robots like such cheap whores????

    I want a nice, wholesome girl robot..... the kind of robot.... I can take home to meet the folks!!

    But seriously....making these sex dolls more realistic... makes it even More Creepy!!!! (Yikes)

  • تحميل + العاب||

    I believe that such inventions are not saturated to the human soul
    http://egames-android.com/anger-of-stick-5/

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