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Brickbat: But Momma, That's Where the Fun Is

EclipseSolarseven / DreamstimeThe Edwardsville District 7 school board in Illinois has voted to cancel school on Aug 21. A solar eclipse will happen that day, with the peak taking place as school is letting out, and officials say they are afraid students will look into the sun. An extra day will be added at the end of the school year to make up for the closure.

Photo Credit: Solarseven / Dreamstime

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  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Superintendent Lynda Andre said teachers had asked about organizing field trips or viewing sessions, but upon exploring it, school officials determined that because the eclipse happens on the fifth day of school, there would be insufficient time to train 470 teachers and the students on how to safely observe the eclipse.

    Five days is definitely not enough time. It would take at minimum a three-month intensive training course to drill educators and students how not to look directly at the sun.

  • Hugh Akston||

    This is exactly why "How Not to Look Directly at the Sun" should be a required two-semester course at all accredited M.E. programs.

  • AdamJ||

    Add an extra semester for poking tiny holes in a piece of paper to make a viewing mask. Second thought, that may be PhD level.

  • Cynical Asshole||

    Second thought, that may be PhD level.

    Exactly. What should you use to poke the holes? How big should the holes be? What kind of paper should you use? Only a highly educated TOP. MAN. could possibly be expected to figure this stuff out.

  • DenverJ||

    Don't use it as a"viewing mask". You're not looking through it at the sun; you'll go blind.
    It's called a camera obscura and you use it to focus the image of the sun (it will be upside down) onto a piece of paper that is basically the movie screen. Then you can safely watching the eclipse happen on the paper.

  • Radioactive||

    clearly these people are in violation of title 1X, the Disability Act and a host of other rules, regulations,orders and really strongly worded suggestions...off with their heads (they're not using them)

  • Jerryskids||

    This makes no sense. If the kids are not at school, won't that mean they'll have even more opportunity to stare at the Sun? How hard would it be to have an announcement just prior to dismissal cautioning kids not to stare at the Sun, not to play in traffic and not to stick pencils up their nose.

  • Tom Bombadil||

    Sheeiit. Solar eclipse days are the only ones I DON'T stare at the sun.

  • AdamJ||

    See when they're not at school, they're someone else's problem so it doesn't matter. I'm sure all the parents won't mind taking the day off work.

  • Cynical Asshole||

    If some dumb kid burns their retinas out outside of school, the school doesn't have to worry about being sued. Although I wouldn't be surprised if they still end up getting sued. "You shouldn't have canceled school because if my little retard had been in school he* wouldn't have stared at the sun and blinded himself!"

    *I'm using masculine pronouns here because, as all properly woke people know, only a boy would be dumb enough to stare directly at the sun.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Luckily, we're all awake in the middle of the fucking night, saving us from the eclipse.

  • AdamJ||

    +1 Revved up like a deuce

  • Mickey Rat||

    School is open on August 21?

    What a monstrous state Illinois is!

  • albo||

    Seriously. I've done some research in my state, and schools are starting earlier and earlier because they're building in extra vacation days and "staff development" days during the school year. Which is stupid.

  • Detroit Linguist||

    On the other hand, Southern Illinois University Carbondale is delaying the start of classes for one day because they need to keep the dorms open for the ten thousand or so eclipse watchers who will be staying in them.

    I'll be there too, staying with friends. I won't go near campus, because because the whole town, which numbers about 40K during the regular term, is expected to have over 100K additional visitors on the 21st.

    You can buy 'eclipse glasses' from reputable dealers for under a buck apiece, but I guess 'it's for the children'..

  • gaoxiaen||

    It's alright, ma, now I'm only blinded.

  • Inigo Montoya||

    Back when I was a youngster, there was a solar eclipse visible in our area. Our school superintendent, Mrs. Stevens, made no special announcement. There was nothing said about it.

    Like an idiot, I watched the whole thing while standing in the playground -- and went blind.

    The following semester, this new kid in our school, Thomas Dolby was his name, I think, asked me about whether anybody at the school had warned us about the dangerous eclipse.

    "Nobody said a word about the eclipse,"I told Thomas. "Not even our superintendent Mrs. Stevens. I blame her... She blinded me with silence!"

    True story.

  • Radioactive||

    now your sure to go to heck for that...

  • geo1113||

    Where the hell is heck???

  • Princess Trigger||

    Carbondale, IL

  • 68W58||

    Did she also fail you in biology?

  • CE||

    I was in school during the last big eclipse. We didn't even get to leave our room. It got dark for a minute and everyone thought it was cool. A shadow is not a big deal if you think about it.

  • Longtobefree||

    But, based on suspending kids for out of school social media activity, the school will still be liable for any injuries to students who look at the sun. Better to have them in the school where the state nannies can keep them indoors and shut the blinds, and teach gender fluidity during this horribly dangerous time. I am surprised that the democrats have not outlawed eclipses 'for the children'.

  • JWatts||

    "The Edwardsville District 7 school board in Illinois has voted to cancel school on Aug 21. A solar eclipse will happen that day, with the peak taking place as school is letting out, and officials say they are afraid students will look into the sun. An extra day will be added at the end of the school year to make up for the closure."

    Laughingly, Nashville schools were out, but the Lefty Mayor had ordered the kids to attend school, because she's afraid all the kids out of school will look at the eclipse.

    So, the same silly rational is used to justify the exact opposite reaction.

  • albo||

    Who has school on August 21st? School should go from the day after Labor Day to early June. Bring back summer vacation.

  • CE||

    A lot of schools get out in May and start up again in August. I'm not sure why.

  • Dillinger||

    >>>officials say they are afraid students will look into the sun

    confidence in your teachers may be important.

  • Brandybuck||

    How did my middle school teachers managed it without special training. My high school teachers managed it without any training. But here we are again with the giant space monster about to swallow the sun, and school administrators are freaking out because they can't deal with it. Sigh.

  • Radioactive||

    they must have been witches...BURN THE WITCHES!!!!

  • CE||

    It's also going to cause nationwide traffic gridlock, hotels ripping off consumers, and a massive increase in human trafficking. We need to ban eclipses.

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