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A School Administrator Corrected a Student’s Spelling on Twitter. She Was Fired.

Feelings over facts.

SpellJacek ChabraszewskiIt would be difficult to find a better example of everything that's wrong with education in America: a Maryland public school fired the woman who ran its Twitter account because she corrected a student's spelling.

The student, "Nathan," tweeted "Close school tammarow PLEASE" at Frederick County Public Schools. Katie Nash, the district's social media director, replied "but then how would you learn to spell 'tomorrow'? :)" from the FCPS account.

District officials were not pleased. First, they instructed Nash to stop tweeting. Then they called her into a meeting and abruptly fired her, according to The Frederick News-Post:

As a new employee, I think I sort of would have expected that there would have been some counseling or some suggestions on how to improve," she said.

Nash said there was never a conversation about what the tone of the account was to be.

"Any social media manager is looking for increasing engagement, and that's sort of the expected parameter," she said. "I think a conversation about how we engage with students would have been completely appropriate and I would have welcomed that."

To summarize: an educational institution fired an employee for using creative means to educate a student via a medium the student might actually understand.

Nathan was not offended by Nash's tweet, by the way—although it shouldn't have mattered if he was. You're never too young to learn that Twitter is public, and that tomorrow is spelled t-o-m-o-r-r-o-w.

If there's a better example of the triumph of feelings over facts in modern education, I have yet to see it.

Photo Credit: Jacek Chabraszewski

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  • The Fusionist||

    "because she correct a student's spelling."

    More trolling from Robby Soave?

  • The Fusionist||

    He corrected the "corrected."

  • Cliché Bandit||

    I am willing to wager he checked tomorrow 50 times before hitting publish.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    He didn't put in an alt-text and so he leaves us the most libertarian treat of all: the ability to feel smug superiority over another person for minor errors.

  • Ted S.||

    Actually, if you view the image info, there is an alt-text.

  • silent v||

    In related news, The Fusionist has been fired from the Reason Commentariat.

  • CZmacure||

    But who will cover the "perpetually offended Catholic" beat?

  • The Fusionist||

    I don't think I'm any more "perpetually offended" than the average H&R denizen.

    Of course, I'm damning myself with faint praise here.

  • Crusty Juggler||

    "First!"

  • SomeGuy||

  • C. Anacreon||

    I work with a guy who looks just like "Chief" from that clip. I continually have to refrain from calling him that.

    It's harder to hold back than you might imagine. I'm betting he's probably never seen Get Smart anyway.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    To summarize: an educational institution fired an employee for using creative means to educate a student via a medium the student might actually understand.

    Really, you look at that response and think she was "educating" the student? You think he's going to become better at spelling as a result of this encounter?

    No, she was putting him down in front of everybody on the fucking Internet. The administration probably overreacted, but maybe not since her entire job (paying $44K salary) is to tweet on behalf of the school district, and she doesn't know basic netiquette.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    If she wanted to point out his misspelling a private msg would have been more appropriate.

  • Tommy_Grand||

    She should remind him to check his cis white male privilege! This crap happens whenever strong women correct a shitlord white male...amirite?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Untwist your panties.

    It is rare that I stand up for Robby, but his point is that as a "social media whosiwhatisit" her job is to engage students using the norms and expectations of Internet youth culture. Currently, there is a fad for the social media "burn". If high school student (!) "Nathan" is so fragile that a gentle ribbing of a typo on "the fucking Internet" would justify a suicide watch, then the Frederick County Public School district's problems run deeper than deigning to pay someone 44K a year to manage a web experience.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    as a "social media whosiwhatisit" her job is to engage students using the norms and expectations of Internet youth culture.

    Bullshit. She represents the school district. She should not act like a child.

    If high school student (!) "Nathan" is so fragile that a gentle ribbing of a typo on "the fucking Internet" would justify a suicide watch

    Suicide watch? Where did I say that? Your strawman is on an incineration watch, warning even.

    You purport to be some kind of teacher in the past; I would hope that you know that putting somebody down is a terrible approach for teaching.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Suicide watch? Where did I say that? Your strawman is on an incineration watch, warning even.
    You purport to be some kind of teacher in the past; I would hope that you know that putting somebody down is a terrible approach for teaching.

    Yes. It was terrible how she put that smiley emoticon on at the end, wasn't it? :)

    Just brutal cyber-bullying. :)

    It's kind of like how you can call any man a son-of-a-bitch, as long as you smile. :)

    Even sons-of-bitches feigning outrage in an attempt to claim the peak of Mount Unwarranted Sense of Moral Superiority. :)

    I mean we all must look like ants from way up there. :)

  • ||

    You're Tulpa, right? Are you still a failing teacher, or are you officially a failed teacher now?

  • John Titor||

    If someone's reaction to a goofy internet joke about poor grammar is to throw an emotional hissy fit about how belittling it was, that's reflective of a poor student, not a poor teacher.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    His reaction was, "i didn't take it like personaly" [sic].

    Which just shows how obnoxious Tulpa's faux-outrage act is.

  • John Titor||

    I'm not surprised at all, because that's the proper response of a functioning teenager, if accompanied by an eye roll.

  • Jerryskids||

    Sic burn, bro!

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Actually, it shows how wrong the idea that the exchange would improve his spelling was.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Actually, it shows how wrong the idea that the exchange would improve his spelling was.

    That's Robby et al.'s claim, not mine.

    My empirically-proven claim is that you're a humorless and self-important nitwit who consistently beclowns himself with attempts at supercilious moral one-upmanship.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    Stop throwing around hard to spell words like "empiricully"

  • Chip Your Pets||

    What do you call a person who follows around a person fitting that description?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    You forgot the "Riddle me this, Batman!" and the high-pitched nasally laughter.

  • ||

    who consistently beclowns himself with attempts at supercilious moral one-upmanship

    Now this, kids, is how a $1500 USD/hour, properly spelt, collegiate masturbation euphemism is done!

    *And no, "supercilious" is NOT an STD!

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    If she's willing to take the money shot, it could be.

  • ||

    Speaking of money shots, HM.....

    I am thoroughly disgusted with you! We're talking seppuku level, dishonouring the Mulatto Family name levels of disgust! You were so busy arguing with The Sock, that you missed this classically ironic Froot Sooshi gem:

    If there's a better example of the triumph of feelings over facts in modern education, I have yet to see it.

    If there was *ever* a need for pointing out the most self-unaware, illuminating, resolute and unyielding need for a, "Man in the Mirror," Momentf for our own beloved begrudgingly tolerated, Eponymous Equestrian....*waves index finger in circular motion*

    This is it.

  • Dan S.||

    He went from two wrong vowels and two errors of consonant doubling to simply one error of consonant doubling. Yeah, that's an improvement.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Suicide watch, now hissy fit.

    If anybody's getting emotional, my bet's on the people who feel it necessary to exaggerate rather than presenting the situation as it is.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Yes, get more strident with your faux-outrage. That will surely cement your position as the most calm and rational individual in the room.

    I strongly encourage you to continue with this tactic. It's working out so well for you.

  • John Titor||

    You mean the person screaming 'bullshit' about how she's 'putting him down on the fucking internet' right? You're correct. You are exaggerating the situation.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    My swearing shows sincerity.

    Your exaggeration shows the opposite.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    I wasn't exaggerating at all. Do you disagree that what I said is literally correct? Did she not put him down for his misspelling? Was this exchange not available on the Internet (and retweeted many times)?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Do you disagree that what I said is literally correct? Did she not put him down for his misspelling?

    Yes, we disagree. Only the most insecure of individuals would actually confuse a good-natured joke with degradation and humiliation.

    But then, we know all about you and your insecurities, don't we?

  • ||

    But then, we know all about you and your insecurities, don't we?

    Is this a game of, "Spot the Not Tulpa,"?

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    He made it clear in a previous exchange I had with him.

    "Tenure" referred to a teaching position at a public high school.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    You must have been the victim of an impostor.

  • Nikkodemus||

    And you must be great fun at parties.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    Do you or do you not teach high school math?

  • John Titor||

    No, she did not 'put him down for his spelling'. She made a joking attempt to point out the error in his spelling, in a method and etiquette that is not harsh or degrading in anyway whatsoever. You're assuming a malice to the statement that is not there, and in fact is more reflective of your own personality flaws than anything in the conversation.

    In short, you're less emotionally mature than the child she responded to is.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    She made a joking attempt to point out the error in his spelling, in a method and etiquette that is not harsh or degrading in anyway whatsoever.

    No, you appear to be rationalizing your reflexive opposition to the school authorities. If somebody did that here on H&R they'd get flamed. I've seen it in plenty of other places. You cannot possibly convince me that people who publicly correct spelling and grammar in an internet context are well-liked.

    It would have been a different matter if it were done via a private message.

    The kid's response does show some emotional maturity; he didn't make a big deal out of having been insulted, but that doesn't mean he wasn't insulted. I'm sure an emotionally mature individual like yourself has let insults go and pretended it was no big deal when it really was.

    And yeah, bringing my personality into this is not going to look good for you either.

  • Incredulous||

    How is being told that you're wrong "an insult?" How the fuck are we supposed to teach children when they can't handle being told they are wrong in public?

    Your mindset is precisely what's wrong with modern education. Children are coddled and being told they are fragile creatures who need to be protected from any perceived insult or offense.

  • Set Us Up The Chipper||

    Chip Your Pets is a hipster pussy. This is known.

  • Incredulous||

    No she didn't "put him down." If she told him he is an idiot like you, now that would be "putting him down."

  • ||

    And do you still hate Jews as much as you used to? After all, those fucking kikes in Squirrel Hill once tried to sell you sugar Coke, right? You can't let that shit slide. First you get Passover Coke, then the lice in their beards is spreading typhus.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Your memory hasn't improved. Or if it has, your honesty hasn't.

    I blamed the supermarket, probably Gentile-owned, for trying to pass off the Aunt Jemima-flavored Rabbied Coke as the real thing. The only offense the Jews committed was not drinking the Coke that had been ordered for them, but I can hardly blame them, it tasted so bad.

  • ||

    Ha!

    So are you still whining about not getting tenure because women exist?

  • Chip Your Pets||

    We obviously have a lot of catching up to do. Primarily about your shoddy selective memory.

  • ||

    Ooo, aggressive. How drunk are you?

  • Dan S.||

    Most people prefer Coke made with real sugar to that made with High Fructose Corn Syrup, and many pay extra for the Mexican version so they can get it, at least when the Passover variety isn't available. Are you an HFCS addict?

  • ||

    I don't recall Tulpa being an anti-Semite; I do remember his dislike for physicians, but not because they are (((physicians))). Unless he went on some sort of anti-Semitic tear during my absence.

    If anything, he and Hail Retaxes have that same, Axe & Drakkar, used car smell.

  • ||

    Jew-hatred is a species of other-blaming loserliness. Of course Tulpa hates Jews.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    It's so odd. My life's mission has been to have sex with as many Jewish girls as possible. Sure, I suspected a baby trap or two, but yeah, settling for blowjobs isn't so bad.

    If you get mad over (((Coca Cola))), you have more than a few screws loose.

  • Christophe||

    I just googled "Triple Parentheses" and now this conversation makes more sense.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    Just a sad guy in a Toyota Tercel.

  • DblEagle||

    Passover Coke contains real sugar and not HFCS. It is was "real" Coke tasted like when I was growing up. Now I have to find Mexican made Coke with cane sugar to get the real taste- for those rare occasions when I want a a "Pop".

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Just drink some watered-down pancake syrup. That is literally what the stuff tasted like.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    It's a very personal, private decision. Which do you like more? Sugar, or hating Jews?

  • ||

    Jews. Losers like Tulpa put a lot of energy into hating Jews.

  • Nunya||

    You convinced me. Can we just kill the witch now! If she corrected a child's spelling today just imagine what she'll do tamarraw!

  • Nunya||

    You convinced me. Can we just kill the witch now! If she corrected a child's spelling today just imagine what she'll do tamarraw!

  • Incredulous||

    How is using humor to educate someone "acting like a child?"

    If a child's ego is so fragile that they can't handle being corrected in public, then they have serious psychological problems. And sheltering a child from public criticism does not teach them or help them fucking grow up.

    Or they grow up to be an overly sensitive fucking tool like you.

  • thrakkorzog||

    Yep its insane. Back in the day, kids had had to compete in spelling bees against their will, and the winners won a smiley sticker. That was it. You didn't get any participation trophies for spelling bees. The teachers just called you a loser, and made you walk offstage when you fucked up.

    I think that helped contribute to my public speaking ability. Once you've been publicly humiliated a half dozen times, then public speaking is easy.

    So I guess if you're having crazy dreams about naked high school tests, maybe hire a dominatrix to follow you around and point out everything you're doing wrong.

  • Pat (PM)||

    You think he's going to become better at spelling as a result of this encounter?

    Not looking like a dumbass in public does motivate certain students to improve, which is why literally every teacher in every classroom in the entire world has, intentionally or not, used shame and/or humiliation as a teaching tactic at one point or another.

    Also, if not correcting people's spelling and grammar is part of basic netiquette then you and I have been using a different internet for the last 20 years.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    If you've been on this Internet any time in the past 20 years, you would have heard the term "grammar nazi" and seen the near universal hate for such netizens.

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    A thundering torrent of explosive diarrhea peppers your nude, shorn, clammy chest. -2HP

  • SomeGuy||

    grammar nazi goes after commas and than then stuff. Completely batching a word isnt a nazi.

    I have terrible writting skills and i took extra classes to get better at my weakness in writing and i don't find this grammar nazi at all.

    My massive run on sentences and laziness in typing could use some nazism ;)

  • DarrenM||

    It's only hatred by those who are overly sensitive to being corrected. The rest of us just shrug it off.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Not looking like a dumbass in public does motivate certain students to improve, which is why literally every teacher in every classroom in the entire world has, intentionally or not, used shame and/or humiliation as a teaching tactic at one point or another.

    Wrong. I never did and many, many others never have.

    Shitty teachers though, they do it all the time. What does that correlation tell you?

  • John Titor||

    Your emotional outbursts over nothing do not seem to support the idea of you being a good teacher.

  • SugarFree||

    And don't forget the sadistic glee he finds in stories of police brutality toward students.

  • ||

    You were absolutely a shitty teacher, Tulpa. Do not pretend otherwise.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Listen, it's not his fault that he was forced to teach algebra to IQ 90 negroes and Mexicans. It's the fault of this fucked-up system!

  • Chip Your Pets||

    eventus stultorum magister

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Pedicabo ego te et irrumabo.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    per risum multum poteris cognoscere stultum

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Condemnas quod non intellegis.

  • ||

    You forgot to capitalize the beginning of the sentence and to end the sentence with a punctuation mark. You idiot.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    You forgot to capitalize the beginning of the sentence and to end the sentence with a punctuation mark.

    Romans didn't use punctuation or differentiate between capital and lowercase.

  • ||

    Quiero un taco

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    Dónde está pa zapateria?

  • Nunya||

    Does that say the cheese is old and moldy?

  • Mansplainer||

    ?Donde dejé mi ropa interior?

  • Lurk Diggler||

    Honestly, it's good for them. If you want to run your mouth on the Internet but can't spell a bit of ribbing is a perfectly acceptable form of correction. People need thicker skin.

    If all his friends made fun of him for getting called out by the school twitter, the retard would probably try to figure out how to spell.

  • SomeGuy||

    agreed and shit....everything has spell check now too. Well most things. Line PC app doesnt :/ but most things have integrated spell check

  • John C. Randolph||

    she was putting him down in front of everybody on the fucking Internet.

    What's your point?

    -jcr

  • Mansplainer||

    My question, jcr.. She put him down in front of the Internet. Soooo...?

  • SomeGuy||

    i didnt read that as being superior. It seemed more like a fun little joke to me like you say to anyone who says something silly.

    Again public posts get public ridicule. Even if she was intended to be a spiteful smartass.....i don't see the issue with it.

  • Diane Merriam||

    Maybe you would *feel* that's what it was, but I wouldn't see it that way, especially since it was phrased in a humorous manner. That seems to be a general failing of the politically correct crowd though. Taking everything as though it was an attack and seeming to think that life is never supposed to be anything other than perfectly pleasant and what they want it to be.

    And just to be clear, since I'm assuming you're an adult and not a fragile snowflake yourself, yes, this is intentionally aimed at you.

  • Jake Stone||

    Wow, Chip, I never knew you were such a sopping wet pussy. Need another tampon? That might explain your general disposition....

  • Paper Wasp||

    Yes, I think he will. In fact, I think he'll never forget how to spell "tomorrow". And I think as long as we're paying to educate Nathan, I don't care whether corrections of his mistakes are public or not. If Nathan can't take a gentle correction on a public medium, he doesn't belong on the public medium.

    Someday, Nathan's boss or another coworker is going to correct something he got wrong, on an email thread, in front of everybody. It would be nice if Nathan were prepared for that, and took it in stride, instead of curling up in the fetal position under his desk and blubbering because someone told him he was wrong about something. It would be nice if Nathan didn't bring a semiautomatic rifle to work the next day and start picking off his coworkers because somebody hurt Nathan's precious fee-fees, and he couldn't cope with it because everyone who ever challenged him, however mildly, was reprimanded or fired. It'd be nice if Nathan were allowed to develop a spine and accept harmless criticism.

    The people I'd really like to see fired are the people (parents and school administrators alike) who are raising these fucking forever-dependent pansy-ass wilting flowers who need a "safe space" from any kind of challenge.

  • BestUsedCarSales||

    I wonder how much of administrative bloat in the school system is because of jobs like this. Being fired for that tweet seems exaggerated, but her position existing at all on the tax payers dime is terrible as well.

    Also, she should have said "Cum 2 skool 2 lrn2spell, fag" to be consistent with the medium.

  • SomeGuy||

    yea school PR person seems ridiculous

  • Mr. Dyslexic||

    "Cum 2 skool 2 lrn2spell, fag"

    + 1,000 Thread winner!

  • The Fusionist||

    You'll never in a million years guess who wrote this article

    "Yes, We Should Target Anti-Semitism In Both Parties Simultaneously

    "The anti-Semitism of the alt-right and the new left are both morally repugnant and both potentially dangerous....

    "While fully sharing concerns about left-wing anti-Semitism, I thought that dismissing the alt-right version as a phantom menace was wrong for both moral and practical reasons...."

  • __Warren__||

    Wait...were the }}}Jews{{{ responsible for the Phantom Menace?

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Well, duh. who do you think made up the Trade Federation?

    Merchants.

  • Mongo||

    The (((Ferengi))).

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I always found it amusing that the 3 regular Ferengi characters on DS9 were played by Armin Shimerman, Max Grodénchik, and Aron Eisenberg.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    I always forget the Wallace Shawn, the Grand Negus, is also from a Jewish family.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Grand Nagus, even.

  • The Fusionist||

    Nagus, please!

    What, what did I say?

  • Threedoor||

    Oh my lobes!

  • John C. Randolph||

    BTW, who is it that invented the Star Trek Space Jews? I need to go pelt his or her house with gefilte fish since he was so obviously disparaging my ancestors.

    -jcr

  • DRM||

    Herbert J. Wright.

    He's been dead for more than ten years, as it happens.

  • John C. Randolph||

    Guess I'll have to go piss on his grave instead.

    -jcr

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    The swindling Toishan and Guangdong traders.

  • GILMORE™||

    hitler?

  • DenverJ||

    It's always Hitler. Man, what an asshole. Somebody oughta do something about him.

  • DarrenM||

    You'd think that with centuries of history to draw on, people could come up with one villain besides Hitler.

  • SIV||

    The Federalist tags Cathy Young's piece on anti-semitism as crime.Reason should bookmark it as a citation for "the Right is P.C. too".

  • Derpetologist||

    Was going to put it in the choo-choo thread, but I couldn't resist that new thread smell

    California Derpin'

    Pasadena's All Saints Episcopal Church will not mention Donald Trump by name in prayers, saying that mentions of the President-elect are "literally a trauma trigger to some people."

    For years, the California church has offered prayers for people in positions of power, including President Obama. The church will continue offering those prayers—but it will no longer use proper names, said rector Mike Kinman in a blog post, because "prayer should never be a trauma-causing act."
  • __Warren__||

    I wonder if sensitive people who play card games that have trump cards are using a different word.

  • Ted S.||

    I assume no trump contracts in bridge are becoming more popular. :-)

  • Derpetologist||

    I was near Pasadena a few weeks ago. Had I known, I'd had gone there in a MAGA shirt.

  • The Fusionist||

    Is the same church that fought the IRS over a political sermon?

  • Chip Your Pets||

    What if "God" and "Jesus" are trauma triggers?

    Oh wait, this is an Episcopal church. Never mind.

  • ||

    My granddaddy was an Episcopal minister. The first time he got arrested was for shooting the pigeons in the church when he was 13. He was a drunken sailor who came home from the war with active TB, and he somehow convinced my saintly grandmother to throw away a math scholarship at TCU so she could have his babies. His father-in-law loathed him.

    He liked to drink and smoke and gamble and bang women who weren't his wives and dragrace with his children in the car with him. My clearest memory of him is of being piled in his station wagon with about 16 of his other grandchildren while he drove around town as fast as he could in order to catch some air on the little bridges over the drainage ditches.

    He died doing what he loved: driving like a maniac on an icy highway. I remember the makeup on his corpse's face was not convincing.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Your sheltered, elitist upbringing disgusts me.

  • ||

    Oh, he also got disowned from his family for being a nigger-lover for participating in some civil rights marches when he was in the seminary. Or maybe he just banged a relative's wife. I'm not sure of the reason for the disowning. He was a great guy.

  • ||

    That's not supposed to sound sarcastic. He was awesome.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    He sounds like he had a lust for life.

  • ||

    And an STD or two, most likely.

  • ||

    Wasn't TB practically an STD?

  • ||

    Wasn't TB practically an STD?

    If you count deep, sensual, taking a tongue down the throat, passionate kissing,"Sexual Contact (but sans coitus)," then, yeah, it could certainly qualify within that discrete parameter, like mononucleosis known as, "The Kissing Disease".

    If you're packing Active, Shows up on a Chest X-ray, TB, then one is a legit airbourne danger to those around them, regardless of how much or how little kissy-kissy, humpy-humpy, happy sexy terrific funtime folks are having.

  • DenverJ||

    Jesus, doc, way to be a downer

  • DenverJ||

    A lust for something, at least ;)

  • ||

    That's not supposed to sound sarcastic. He was awesome.

  • ||

    Ah, fuck. Fucking Costco wine.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    The double wide cabernet?

  • ||

    Yup. Love that shit.

  • GILMORE™||

    Costco wine.

    I love the whole "bring your own barrel, and refill it in-store"

  • Chip Your Pets||

    I assume this was the Yinzer branch of your family.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    You must have missed the part about TCU.

  • Nikkodemus||

    Reading comprehension is not his strong suit.

  • ||

    The Texan branch. You idiot. Notice the TCU in the story. You moron.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Does TCU also have a no-yinzers admission policy?

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    A backhoe is so much faster than a shovel.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Not when you have to wait for the oil to warm up.

  • Mansplainer||

    Go Frogs!!

    /1993 graduate

  • PurityDiluting||

    This is was a test

  • Christophe||

    For years, the California church has offered prayers for people in positions of power

    This part is even better with no context. Seems like the perfect church for California.

  • Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice||

    "prayer should never be a trauma-causing act."

    Our Father gender-neutral parental unit who art in Heaven inside our hearts,
    hallowed be thy name *jazz hands*
    thy kingdom benevolent dictatorship come
    thy my will be done
    on Earth Gaia as it is in Heaven was before humans
    for thine is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever we shall fight the Patriarchy's power forever
    Amenwomyn

  • PapayaSF||

    "Humans"?? How dare you leave out otherkin, you hater!

  • Longtobefree||

    Hu-persons?
    Oops, still ends in a male designator
    Hu-per-child?
    Trump is building the wall just so we have a place to stand all the PC crap worshipers.

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    How does one properly worship without injecting hot meat sausage mentions of the God-Emperor sitting President of the United States? Shocking.

  • GILMORE™||

    it requires a certain amount of intelligent's to appreciate Robby Soave

  • ||

    Indead, it duhs, GILMORE(tm), indede it duhs.

    An especially certain amount, to be sure...

  • Derpetologist||

    Sorry Robby, but I beat you to the punch.

  • Ted S.||

  • The Fusionist||

  • PlaystoomuchHALO||

    My first thought is "why is the school engaged in surveillance of student activities when the kid is not in class?"

    I'd fire them too....

  • Ted S.||

    I'd guess the student tweeted at the school.

  • ||

    The student tweeted AT the school's account. The social media director responded. As discussed above I wonder why they need that position in the first place but it wasn't surveillance.

  • Pat (PM)||

    When the kid contacts the school on a public communications platform, I'm not sure it really counts as "surveillance". Whether the school actually needs to pay someone to operate an account on a public communications platform is another question.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    No, the school district is not allowed to look at messages sent to their own Twitter account! Unconstitutional!

  • ||

    So, Tulpa, you never talk about your parents. How ashamed of you are they?

  • Derpetologist||

    At my last job at the plastic bag factory, I went to monthly safety meetings. The agenda was handed out to everyone and it was always just a slightly different version of the last one, including the same boneheaded typos, which I presume will never be corrected.

  • Ted S.||

    Did they warn you not to engage in autoerotic asphyxiation?

  • DblEagle||

    You should be an appreciative subject to various DoD and Army mandatory "training" at PoM. The redundant duplication of repeat matter are sometimes a work of art and artistic in the very extreme.

  • Threedoor||

    After the twentieth 'don't kill yourself' PowerPoint presentation you want to kill yourself.

  • LibertarianJRT||

    This.

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    I've always felt that a leather belt was more effective and tantalizing.

  • The Fusionist||

    Arkansas commemorates Martin Luther King, Jr. and Robert E. Lee on the same day

    "[State Rep. Charles] Blake says he's still open to the compromise idea of separating the holidays but reserving a separate day for Lee elsewhere on the state calendar. Although it's not his preference."

  • Christophe||

    Trump could potentially fix it: "Why celebrate a general that lost the war and surrendered? What a loser!"

  • PapayaSF||

    "Only loser civil rights activists get themselves assassinated!"

  • Christophe||

    Ok, now I want a "A Trump History of the United States" book. Just pages and pages of 1 sentence dismissals of everyone ever, from the Roanoke Colony to the 2016 election.

  • Drake||

    Obviously a "lost" colony had to be full of losers.

  • Longtobefree||

    Because he was a Virginian.

  • ||

    Eh, it'll only be a couple months before Katie gets re-instated, with back pay. I'm assuming the school administrator's union works like the one for other low-level bureaucrats.

    "If Nathan didn't want to be corrected in public, he shouldn't have misspelled the word."
    "Look at the totality of the circumstances."

    SMOOCHES!

    hth

  • Chip Your Pets||

    She's not an administrator, but a "social media director". She's some goofball they hired to tweet. Seriously doubt she's in a union.

  • Drake||

    That's the cusp of it.

    They never would have fucked with a unionized teacher this way. Probably pissed they had a non-unionized barbarian foisted on them,

  • Ted S.||

    Is Maryland a wrong-to-work state? If so, she's in a union as a government-sector worker.

  • Ceci n'est pas un woodchipper||

    Maryland is definitely a union state, and the teacher's union is particularly powerful here. Also...how can I put this...a lot of people, and I mean A LOT of people in this state really, really want cake.

  • Texasmotiv||

    This reminds me of the other day at my dad's funeral I had my wife's Uncle (who's a lawyer) casually being up how now that Trump is the president that the Supreme Court will be the nail in the coffin for all unions and once right to work laws get passed/upheld everyone's wages will drop and workplaces will walk all over their employees. I wanted to play nice so I didn't get started but the only thing I could think is that if they evil capitalists end up wanting to slash everyone's wages and benefits, won't people want to opt in to the union then? Why would it have to be mandatory?

    I think that if the union can't demonstrate their value then they shouldn't be taking people's money.

  • The Fusionist||

    Your dad's funeral? Sorry to hear that, dude.

  • R C Dean||

    Your wife's uncle sounds like an asshole for talking politics at a funeral.

  • Texasmotiv||

    He's an okay guy, but he IS as lawyer.

  • ||

    Living is getting too complakated.

  • The Fusionist||

  • Steve G||

    Well shit, I thought I'd see some stuff about Black Mirror or Luke Cage or the like. They should have just gone with '5 things to binge watch to remind you of your white privilege'

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    Why the hell would you watch "Malcolm X" on MLK Day?

    It's like watching "Flags of Our Fathers" or "Letters from Iwo Jima" on V-E Day.

  • Ted S.||

    I watched my recording of Josephine Baker in Princess Tam Tam today. Boy was she a force.

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    I'm watching Black Dynamite.

  • l0b0t the deplorable||

    +1 Only malt liquor approved by the Federal Government.

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    All wars look the same.

  • Animal||

    No Blacula? No Shaft? No Superfly? No Blackenstein? No Dr. Black, Mr. Hyde?

  • The Fusionist||

    "We've barely taken down our holiday lights and lugged our Christmas trees to the curb, and another shopping holiday is already upon us.

    "It's a time-honored retail tradition to run 'white sales' with discounts on bedding and bath products throughout the month of January."

  • Ted S.||

    You don't need to go shopping every holiday.

  • ||

    Dr. ZG: "CHTO??? POCHEMU?!?!?!? Ty ochen' glupij!!!!! Y tebja ne net zhena, da?"

  • Christophe||

    "Too many occasions to go shopping" is the perfect exemplar of a first-world problem.

  • Heroic Mulatto||

    It's also the perfect exemplar of a "husband problem".

  • ||

    Only if antiques are involved, HM.

    Otherwise, my wife's noted addiction to shoes will continue unabated, regardless of how much, ahem, "overtime," I ....heh heh...put in.

  • ||

    Do Ukrainians understand the concept of whore shoes? And how much fun they are?

  • ||

    Are you kidding? My wife (and if you call her a whore, I'll kill you myself - I don't care how big you are) is very short, barely 5'1" in the morning, and she will wear stiletto heels even if there's a metre of snow with three inches of black ice underneath. Most women here will rock their heels regardless of how inclement the weather is. My wife, having studied ballet and gymnastics as a little girl and teen, has excellent balance (she's never fallen or slipped on ice as long as I have known her) and we make a fantastic dancing pair, actually.

    In fact, in the hospital, one can easily hear her power walking down the hall before she arrives in a room by the distinct clicking of her heels. Except on surgery days, then she wears runners intra-theatre.

  • ||

    So I'm hearing that they use them as some sort of dominance display? Hawthorn.

  • ||

    Oh, come on, phone. Hawt is not hawthorn.

  • ||

    Oh, come on, phone. Hawt is not hawthorn.

    The Scarlet Letter is actually pretty steamy, if lacking explicitly raunchy passages.

  • ||

    So I'm hearing that they use them as some sort of dominance display?

    Not quite. For my wife, yeah she's got Little People's Syndrome (Napoleonic Complex of sorts - she usually wears three, sometimes four, inch heels) admittedly, but overall, women in both Russia and Ukraine of a certain age, my wife's age and above, were taught to look their best at all times, both for their husbands, but also for themselves. When Communism was on the wane, even more flashy and ostentatious apparel was encouraged, which included (Thank you, Euro-Trash) stiletto "Fuck Me" Pumps.

  • The Fusionist||

    What to Buy During MLK Weekend Sales

    "Stores will welcome the business on the heels of a surprise drop in December retail sales in the U.S. Just don't expect many merchants to bill their promotional events as "MLK sales," says Phong Vu, CEO of coupons Web site DealScience.com. Associating consumerism with the civil rights movements isn't an attractive strategy for retailers, he says.

    "Instead, look for advertisements of "weekend sales," "three-day sales" or "winter sales" from big-box retailers....

    "What's on sale …

    "Bath and bedding items. Department stores and home-goods retailers have long held "white sales" in January featuring discounts on bed linens. Now those sales often include a variety of bed and bath items, as well as other home goods. Shelton says there will be plenty of white sales over MLK weekend, with discounts of 30% to 50%."

  • The Fusionist||

  • Diane Reynolds (Paul.)||

    I have a dream... That items will be marked down 20%, this weekend only!

  • JeremyR||

    I remember back during the CB Craze of the '70s, our school had an employee who did nothing but talk to students on the CB Radio.

    Oh wait, no we didn't, that would have been stupid.

  • ||

    Wow. What an ending. Clutch passing, catching and kicking.

  • Ted S.||

    On to Atlanta. I'm hoping for a repeat of 2010.

  • ||

    Take the over.

  • __Warren__||

    These masturbation euphemisms are getting quite sporty!

  • commodious||

    *sports all over Warren's mum*

  • ||

    Masturbation? You are a rather timid fella! That's Dr. ZG's and my idea of foreplay...

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    With 90% less yelling and credit card spending!

  • commodious||

    GO PACK GO. That was exciting.

  • commodious||

    WTF? There were bunches of Greenbay and Cowboys fans in here, but they were maybe altogether half the bar. Now it's like eighty percent Steelers in here. Roethlisberger jerseys as far as the eye can see.

  • ||

    You're at a date rapist convention?

  • Ted S.||

    I actually got stopped by a guy in Targét on Monday congratulating me for the Packers' win. (I was wearing my Packers hat.) :-)

  • SIV||

    I hope the Packers are the last NFL team to lose in the Georgia Dome.

  • Password: pode$ta||

    Amen, SIV. The Falcons actually look pretty damn good.

  • commodious||

    Honestly disappointed for Prescott. I'm a marginally attached Greenbay fan, but it's been a pleasure to watch Prescott keep Romo on the bench all season.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    There has to be more to be more to this story.

  • ||

    I think you completely misread their motive here Robby.

    If you don't believe me go get a job teaching and then try actually teaching students and see what happens.

  • Deep Lurker||

    The real reason for firing the school employee was that the school administration is terrified by the idea that the student might do better at learning how to spell outside of school. Because

    "but then how would you learn to spell 'tomorrow'? :)"

    might turn out to not be a rhetorical question.

  • AlmightyJB||

    That and they're humorless fucks. I thought her reply was pretty funny, and would have thought that even if I were that student.

  • ||

    Fuck the Steelers. That's all.

  • Ken Shultz||

    Fuck the Cowboys. Fuck their whole hype machine and all their fans, too.

    Never have so many been so proud of so little.

  • SIV||

    So is Brickbat gonna be the defacto mourning lynx on GOVERNMENT HOLIDAY?

  • ||

    Yep, if Robby Horses draws, "Charles Easterly," duty, count on it.

  • GILMORE™||

    GOVERNMENT HOLIDAY

    Its Federal Check Your Privilege day, yo.

  • Ken Shultz||

    "Opera star Andrea Bocelli backs out of singing at Trump's inauguration after receiving death threats"

    http://tinyurl.com/gvpf3bz

    Threatening a blind man with death for singing is much, much worse than kicking a puppy.

    I hope the people responsible for this are brought to justice.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    Kicking a sea otter?

  • Ken Shultz||

    The Fish and Wildlife Service taking a bunch of endangered sea otters out to the Channel Islands, so half of them die trying to swim back to the mainland to be with their families--and doing it all in the name of conservation?

    That's pretty low.

    Threatening to kill a blind Bocelli for singing, though, is even worse than that.

    He's like the male version of Enya. You don't do shit like that to Enya.

  • ||

    Still being the rape apologist for otters, I see. You realise otters graduated from the Mike Tyson School of Dating, right? They're on par with dolphins and chimps for being all rapey and sexually violent, in case you weren't aware.

  • Derpetologist||

    Dawson's bee- the most violent mating ritual in the animal kingdom

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtpECWl-5v4

    I don't wanna wait...for my life cycle to be over! Stinging all my rivals to death!

  • Chip Your Pets||

    It happened to Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles too.

  • __Warren__||

    Ray Kroc gets a bio-pic starring Micheal Keaton? Holy fucking awesome!

  • Ken Shultz||

    Wait until you see it. I mean, how could it be anything but a hit piece?

    In progressive world, he was an entrepreneur (strike 1), he's responsible for exporting American culture all over the world (strike 2), and he's made a billion poor people fat and diabetic (strike 3).

    And worst of all, he died rich.

    Think "I drink your milkshake".

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a5d9BrLN5K4

  • GILMORE™||

    According to sources, the film was to be developed in the same vein as There Will Be Blood and The Social Network

    "every capitalist is really a damaged human being hopelessly seeking redemption"?

  • ||

    Of course, that's how they balance his EVIL! COPORASHUNZ! with his long history of charity and philanthropy, such as inner city outreach, Ronald McDonald houses, and jobs and scholarships for poor and underprivileged kids and young adults.

    Well, until that $15.00 /hr min wage stuff will put the kibosh on a lot that aforementioned stuff, by the by.,,,

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    I may not be the world's most savvy armchair film analyst. Having said that: although it was as obvious to me as getting slapped across the face with the corpse of a halibut that has been festering in the sun what the intended moralising at the conclusion of that film was supposed to convey - I cannot help to love this film and the slow pace with which it uses to compel me to watch. The whole story is extremely well done for my tastes, and have watched the film multiple times. Solo miner uses proceeds to become a wildcatter who then perpetuates everything into a massive empire, completely built from scratch.

    The intended payload at the conclusion does not deliver for me as the writer and director intended. Instead, I chuckle every time that Eli is forced to admit to being a failure and a fraud, before Daniel Plainview finally beats him to death with a bowling pin. What can I say? I'm a sucker for happy endings.

  • Ken Shultz||

    Scrooge was driven insane by the incredible ingratitude of his subordinate.

    It's Christmas. I want to go home.

    The guy has a sick child to take care of--why isn't he worried about losing his job?

    By the end of the story, poor Scrooge is literally throwing money out the window!

  • Sevo||

    Ken Shultz|1.15.17 @ 9:28PM|#
    "Wait until you see it. I mean, how could it be anything but a hit piece?"

    David Halberstam is sort of like Manchester; too honest to carry off an ideologue hit-piece. His chapter on Kroc and McDonalds in "the Fifties" is about as clear a view as you can find.
    And I have no doubt the film will be every bit as honest as an Obo late-Friday news release.

  • ||

  • Trshmnstr, Grump Apprentice||

    He used to steer as far away from politics as he possibly could... However, he's starting to dip his toe in the waters on occasion now. I'm not sure whether I'd like him as a politician, but I always respect his opinion.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    Does he give you a lady boner?

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    Roll that beautiful bean footage.

  • Not a True MJG||

    He gives all kinds of boners.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    Semi.

  • ||

    I would pay up to one hundred dollars to see the naked shotgun drone footage of him (because that's all I can afford to spend on naked shotgun drone footage).

  • The Fusionist||

    Is Mike Rotch more articulate?

  • straffinrun||

    *Looks upthread*

    Why? Just, Why?

  • ||

    Hey, I was discussing Ukrainian "Fuck Me" pumps and the wimminz that love them with Warty.... Don't blame me for this. As always, the blame rests on Robby's narrow, spindly shoulders.

  • Playa Manhattan.||

    My shoulders are fucking jacked. Which means I could cause way more trouble if I wanted to.

  • GILMORE™||

    Years of underground weasel fighting will do that.

  • Slumbrew||

    Man, those euphemisms...

  • Pompey: Ho Class Mothersmucker||

    OT: I fucking love this guy. My favourite bit is about how upper level EPA bureaucrats, as a standard, fly at least business class on commercial carriers.

    " Overall, Beale took 33 trips between 2003 and 2011 that cost taxpayers $266,190. He flew first class on 70 percent of those trips, even though he was required to use business class if available.

    Nothing left to cut.

  • chemjeff||

    Hmm - $266,190 / 33 = $8066 per trip???

  • Slumbrew||

    You SF'd the link, but I instantly knew who you meant. There's a movie there, I'm sure.

    And yes, fuck the EPA flunkies flying business class; I work for a $2B/yr company and our management flies coach domestically, except our CEO, who flies private - but he's also the founder, it's his own (small) plane and he eats the cost personally, out of his annual $1 salary (sic)

  • Derpetologist||

    A few days ago, I was watching CNN because that is what they show at the gym. It was the Paul Ryan town hall meeting. One guy grilled him about Obamacare, saying he would be dead without it. Another woman said she was brought to the US from Mexico when she was 11 and asked if she was going to be deported.

    I have a very hard time CNN would poses similar questions to someone from Team Blue. It would have been great if the relative of someone killed as a result of Fast and Furious got to grill Eric Holder. At the least the media won't be covering for the government for the time being.

  • Sevo||

    I'd be happy if they asked about the rumors of Obo fucking goats. I mean, I don't know it to be true, but you'd think an outfit like CNN would at least investigate it and report that they *are* investigating it.

  • Sevo||

    And that they haven't yet proven it to be false.

  • Not a True MJG||

    That requires a notable Democrat submitting to a town hall.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Why are any GOPers still volunteering to be on CNN? They have to know it's just a hit piece at this point.

  • Sevo||

    Same reason you're still posting here; exposure.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Not sure who you're trying to zing there, me or H&R?

  • chemjeff||

    Well, when CNN hosted that town hall with Obama about guns, he did get asked a question in the audience by a rape survivor who uses guns to protect herself and her family.

    http://hotair.com/archives/201.....mans-life/

  • Derpetologist||

    My new favorite history book: One Bloody Thing After Another

    I learned about Ivan the Terrible's hobbies, which included throwing animals from towers and pouring boiling wine on people who annoyed him.

  • ||

    "The student, "Nathan," tweeted "Close school tammarow PLEASE" at Frederick County Public Schools."

    That's actually some pretty stellar spelling for a Murland native. Give this kid some gold stars and a prize of some kind.

  • Sevo||

    "That's actually some pretty stellar spelling for a Murland native"

    Cold, man, cold.

  • Sevo||

    "S.F. rally to save Obamacare draws Joan Baez, political leaders"
    [...]
    "Three years ago, the 40-year-old engineer lost his job and was paying for medical insurance out of his own pocket when he learned that his son had an immune system deficiency. The 2-year-old would need a bone marrow transplant as well pricey medication, and their insurance company didn't want to go forward with coverage.
    But under President Obama's signature legislation, which doesn't allow insurers to drop customers because of health conditions, his son got the requisite surgery as well as the antirejection drugs that he takes to this day, Gonzales said."
    http://www.sfgate.com/bayarea/.....859382.php

    Yep, they found some guy who 'said' it was wonderful! I'm amazed, aren't you?

  • Slumbrew||

    But they had Joan Baez... Joan Baez!

  • Sevo||

    Quite a few people "had" Joan, as she admits.

  • Slumbrew||

    Head to Google young Joan - not bad, good to know she was DTF.

  • The Fusionist||

  • Derpetologist||

    And the winner for most sadistic warlord is...Dong Zhou

    He also threw lavish banquets, during which savage tortures would be performed on captured enemies as entertainment: he would first cut their tongue so they wouldn't make much noise for the following operations, which were the severing of limbs and removal of eyeballs. The operations required professional skill because the betrayers would remain conscious when they were thrown into boiling oil. Now, a literal "meat-ball" would be rolling around the center of the banquet for all to observe. Dong was quite comfortable with his "masterpiece" and enjoyed his meal as usual, while the rest of the audience were said to have experienced a high degree of discomfort.
  • Sevo||

    "And the winner for most sadistic warlord is...Dong Zhou"

    Possible, but only that.
    The Chinese kept written records which let us examine a range of history that's not really available in other cultures. I'd bet, oh, Beria's agents in the 20th century were sadists of equal squalor, but no one kept the records.

  • Chip Your Pets||

    Like the brazen bull story, probably apocrypha written by his enemies after he was assassinated.

  • DiegoF||

    Yes, as has been mentioned, Dong "Silver" Zhou, as he liked to be called (I presume), may well have been not much crueler than your average sadistic warlord. Tastes were a bit rougher back then, warlording has never been for the squeamish, and Mr. Dong's cruelty legacy may have experienced a combination enhancement of better record keeping and propaganda (from both enemies and admirers).

    As with many such stories, there are details that make the whole thing look at least partially embellished. Cutting out the tongue would not have made the victim's vocalizations any less noisy, only less coherent; and in any case it's hard to imagine people who enjoyed witnessing living men get dismembered and deep-fried during their meals would be particularly unsettled by the victim making too much noise. If the report had said Dong found the gurglings of the tongueless fellow to be more amusing, I'd have bought what they're selling. Not so much here.

  • The Fusionist||

    In reality, Dong Zhou forced his guests to sit through a meal of several courses while the band played this over and over.

  • Derpetologist||

    file under: Christ, what an asshole

    When the Persian shah Nader captured a former ally Taqi Khan, he had Khan castrated and blinded in one eye, so he could watch his wife be raped and his brother and sons killed.

  • DiegoF||

    Oddly enough, this is also exactly the fate that a young Boris Johnson visited upon alt-right icon Taki Theodoracopulos after the latter displeased him during his editorship of the Spectator.

  • Derpetologist||

    King Adolf Frederick of Sweden died after gorging on a meal of caviar, lobster, smoked fish, champagne, and many servings of a dessert called semla, a spiced bun filled with almond paste and topped with whipped cream.

    History does not record if he exploded like Mr Creosote from Monty Python.

    The other king who ate himself to death was Henry I of England. He ate a ton of lampreys against his physicians advice.

  • Sevo||

    Derp, I think you're stretching here.

  • __Warren__||

    His last words, as he handed a plate of the creatures to his doctor, were: "Physician, eel thyself."

  • Derpetologist||

    [sustained and enthusiastic applause]

  • Derpetologist||

    *physician's advice

  • Sevo||

    "China state media call Trump's Taiwan strategy 'despicable'"
    [...]
    "President-elect Donald Trump "speaks like a rookie," China's state-run media said Monday, describing his suggested use of America's position on Taiwan as a bargaining chip as "despicable."
    The nationalist tabloid Global Times published an editorial blasting Trump's strategy and saying China would have a strong response to any reconsideration of the "one China" policy...."
    http://www.sfgate.com/news/pol.....858406.php

    Various lefties in shock!

  • Christophe||

    Whoever called that he'd use the Taiwan thing as a bargaining chip, kudos to you.

  • Derpetologist||

    lesser known Founding Fathers: Governor Morris

    He had a peg leg from a carriage accident and married at the age of 57 after numerous affairs. He died after inserting a whalebone into his urethra which had been blocked by gout. He also is one of the 55 men who signed the Declaration of Independence.

  • ||

    He died after inserting a whalebone into his urethra which had been blocked by gout.

    Clearly, Sparky is descended from this Founder. See that, Sparky? Poking stuff into your urethra can be LETHAL! I don't want you to go down the same road as Fist, with his bloated, ginormous Denial, The Angry Prostate, that has a BMI of 22, that's killing him bit by bit, bob by bob, every day.

  • Derpetologist||

    I'm impressed there is *any* whalebone small enough to fit into a urethra.

    There's a blue whale skeleton on display in Santa Cruz. The smallest bone is the size of an ax handle.

  • The Fusionist||

    I saw the Whalebone Urethras when they opened for Rush in Pittsburgh.

  • Fist of Etiquette||

    Rules are rules. Nothing goes in through the out door.

  • ||

    Public schools are analogous to child abuse and/or child neglect.

  • Derpetologist||

    Random story- about a month ago, my company did feats of strength instead of regular PT. One of the events was flipping tires. The guys had to flip a big tractor tire, about 5 ft across and 2 ft thick. The gals had to flip a tire about half that size.

    There were no complaints from the female soldiers that they did not get to flip the big tire.

  • __Warren__||

    The mom from the animated Country Crock commercial is totally doable. I'd like to get her and the Lactaid Cow into some compromising positions.

  • Derpetologist||

    I have impure thoughts about the IBS medicine lady.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpLOM3LdFNk

  • Derpetologist||

    youtube comment gold

    "Hey, this is your agent. I just wanted to call and tell you that I landed you a great part in a national commercial campaign!"

    "Awesome! Who is the client?"

    "A pharmaceutical company, and you know they have deep pockets! Did I tell you the campaign will be national on TV and on the Web?"

    "Wow! So what's the role? Will I play a doctor or scientist or something cool?"

    "Well, basically you will play the personification of abdominal pain, incontinence and diarrhea. "

  • Derpetologist||

    Canada bans rifle because it has MOLON LABE etched on it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBi-e59W2ZY

  • Ted S.||

    Ah, the blowhard meme replaced by DEUS VULT.

  • The Fusionist||

  • The Fusionist||

  • The Fusionist||

    (or at least print the verses in the notes)

  • Texasmotiv||

    A high school kid that can't spell 'Tomorrow'? I propose the whole school district be fired for passing him past the 2nd grade.

  • JeremyR||

    He perhaps has a career as an English teacher in an inner city school.

    I wish I were making that up, but I've seen far too many dating profiles of St. Louis and East. St. Louis teachers on OKCupid. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.

  • AlmightyJB||

    I had to help my 5th grade teacher with our math book.

  • Agammamon||

    A School Administrator Corrected a Student's Spelling on Twitter. She Was Fired.

    Well, good.

    This shouldn't have been a job in the first place and maybe the school, in light of this really very minor incident, realized just what a just how deep this pile of shit could be if they kept at it.

  • Anomalous||

    Save the dark sarcasm for the classroom.

  • Texasmotiv||

    +1 no pudding if you don't eat your meat

  • Longtobefree||

    So the point of the story is that professional tweeters need a union so they do not get fired?

  • Jake Stone||

    As a new employee, I think I sort of would have expected that there would have been some counseling or some suggestions on how to improve," she said.

    Yet another damn thing wrong with this story. She is already conditioned to think that if the tweet was inappropriate (it wasn't, not even close) that she should have to be subject to some sort of "counseling"? What exactly are they going to counsel her on?

    What have we done to these fucking snowflakes, man?

  • TheGreatCommenter||

    Okay, "creative means" such and such, but making fun of a student in a public forum is next-level stupid. That isn't just correcting his spelling, that's a put-down... on Twitter, not in class.

  • Joanne||

    This is redicoulous! You can't punish them, can't suspend them, god forbid their feelings get hurt! How do you get to high school and can't spell tomorrow? She, the administrator, should have been commended. Most students come to school and don't have a pencil to even attempt to work, but they sure do have their phones. Why bother coming to school at all. I hear the most vulgar language and the total lack of respect for themselves or others is a shame. It was a light hearted comment to point out that maybe coming to school and making an effort isn't the worst idea. School has become, in my opinion, state funded daycare. When there is a police officer in the school carrying a gun.......we have gone terribly, tragically, wrong. They fear nothing. Of yea, and you can't fail them either, so what really are they being taught. I can do whatever I want and you can't! Let's not forget to mention the atrocious grammar! "Where's it at?" Libary, Febuary, there are "R's in these words let's hear them. When someone really tries to impart the importance of school and is fired that's a sad day.

  • Paper Wasp||

    It's cool, really. We'll just get our future workers from India and China, where the kids seem to survive being corrected just fine without government intervention. And these precious li'l snowflakes who couldn't handle the "microaggressions" of being corrected by Teacher can Snapchat and tweet on their phones about how hard it is to raise their four obese kids on the wages they make at KFC.

  • Eternal Blue Sky||

    "The student, 'Nathan,' tweeted 'Close school tammarow PLEASE' at Frederick County Public Schools. Katie Nash, the district's social media director, replied 'but then how would you learn to spell "tomorrow"? :)' from the FCPS account."

    "Katie Nash, the district's social media director, replied"

    "the district's social media director"

    Ummm... why does a school district ~need~ one of those??

  • mtrueman||

    What is a triumph of feeling? How is this an example of it?

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