Brickbat: No Short Kings

Saying the link between height and success is significant, the School of Management and Business at Vietnam National University in Hanoi said that this year, female students less than 1.58 meters tall (5'2") and male students less than 1.65 meters (5'5")* would not be allowed to enroll. The average height for a Vietnamese woman is 1.56 meters (5'1"), and the average height for a Vietnamese man is 1.68 meters (5'6"). Following a public outcry over the new requirements, the Ministry of Education told the university to reconsider them. The school removed the height requirements for all of its programs but one: Students who wish to pursue a degree in Management and Security must still meet the height minimums.

*CORRECTION: A previous version of this article contained an incorrect metric system conversion.

Comments

[Vernon Depner]

They're just being realistic. Short people have little chance of advancing far in business. That is very well established.

[Mickey Rat]

Short people do have dirty little minds, and we cannot have that in a socialist utopia.

[Incunabulum]

They got little baby legs and stand so low, you have to pick them up to say 'hello'.

[mad.casual]

As someone who is, apparently, of slightly above average height in Vietnam, they really are only excluding the Warwick Davises, Peter Dinklages, Patton Oswalds, and Danny DeVitos.

The Joe Pescis, Rob Schneiders, Martin Scorseses, and Kevin Harts are still in.

[SQRLSY One]

Well, butt twat about that them thar illegal sub-humans, trannies, accused “groomers”, abortionists, gays, heathens, infidels, vaxxers, mask-wearers, atheists, dirty hippies, Jews, witches, or, the very WORST of them all, being one of those accused of STEALING THE ERECTIONS OF OUR DEAR LEADER!?!?!?

[5.56]

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The contents of the above grey box have been inspected by the hazardous material safety division, and were measured to have following composition:

30.8% whataboutisms
23.3% psychotic rambling
7.62% repressed sexuality
40.0% absent math skills

Wait... we may have to send this back. I think the last measurement was for the article, not the grey box. The first five are accurate though.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You know who had a height requirement in their tunnel-maneuvering class?

[SQRLSY One]

Ore-cart donkeys and miner-dwarfs?

[Chipper Chunked Chile Con Congress (ex NCW)]

Hitler?

[Earth-based Human Skeptic]

Grumpy, Sneezy, Doc, and the rest of the shift?

[Kungpowderfinger]

The average height for a Vietnamese woman is 1.56 meters (5'1″), and the average height for a Vietnamese man is 1.68 meters (5'6″)

That might explain why the little fuckers are so good at stealing cats:

https://www.justice.gov/usao-edca/pr/three-defendants-plead-guilty-38-million-catalytic-converter-theft-conspiracy

[Á àß äẞç ãþÇđ âÞ¢Đæ ǎB€Ðëf ảhf]

I thought of this old joke before even getting to "-alytic".

What do you call a Vietnamese walking a dog? -- A vegetarian.

What do you call a Vietnamese walking two dogs? -- A rancher.

[Chipper Chunked Chile Con Congress (ex NCW)]

the defendants pleading guilty today operated an unlicensed business from their residence

Yes. It would have been fine for them to buy stolen catalytic converters if they'd had a business license.

[SQRLSY One]

https://genius.com/Randy-newman-short-people-lyrics

Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason
Short people got no reason to live
They got little hands, little eyes
They walk around tellin' great big lies
They got little noses, tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes on their nasty little feet

[Chorus]
Well, I don't want no short people
Don't want no short people
Don't want no short people ‘round here

[Bridge]
(Short people are just the same as you and I)
A fool such as I
(All men are brothers until the day they die)
It's a wonderful world

[Verse 2]
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody
Short people got nobody to love
They got little baby legs, they stand so low
You got to pick 'em up just to say hello
They got little cars that go beep, beep, beep
They got little voices goin' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers and dirty little minds
They're gonna get you every time

(Also they are like Napoleonic war-mongers who kill LOTS of normal people!)

[sarcasmic]

Napoleon on line 2.

[Don't look at me!]

Sources consequently estimate that Napoleon was probably closer to 5'6” or 5'7” (1.68 or 1.7 meters) than to 5'2”. Although the range may seem short by 21st-century standards, it was typical in the 19th century, when most Frenchmen stood between 5'2” and 5'6” (1.58 and 1.68 meters) tall.

[Bertram Guilfoyle]

It doesn't matter when sarc spews bullshit, he was just joking.

[SRG2]

At the time, the French feet and inches were not the same as English.feet and inches, so Napoleon's height being stated at, say, 5'2" would be nearer 5'6"/5'7" - not particularly short for his time. The British proto-memed him as short, though, e.g., https://www.thetimes.com/imageserver/image/%2Fmethode%2Ftimes%2Fprodmigration%2Fweb%2Fbin%2F3e2f0cc2-36ec-37b3-8273-5485932d2ce4.jpg?crop=780%2C520%2C0%2C0

Spoiler: he lost.

[markm23]

Napoleon inadvertently helped this misconception along when he had his bodyguards included in some of his standing portraits. The grenadiers in his army were the largest and tallest soldiers, and Napoleon chose the tallest of the grenadiers to be his bodyguards. I guess he _wanted_ to show off how tall his bodyguards were, but rather than them looking tall next to him, he looked short next to them.

[Incunabulum]

So they were going to ensure short people couldn't succeed.

[SQRLSY One]

"Students who wish to pursue a degree in Management and Security must still meet the height minimums."

Short people (or in general, those who aren't of Our Tribe) aren't qualified to boss us around and keep us all SAFE from the enemy tribe! Only those firmly in OUR Tribe are qualified to pussy-grab the enemy tribe!

(And no one dare notice that our bosses are grabbing us all right smack dab in the middle of our self-righteous, tribalistic pussy-grabbers. Our bosses are manipulative pussy-grabber-grabbers, yanking us all around like puppets, yanking and cranking us by our pussy-grabbers.)

[Á àß äẞç ãþÇđ âÞ¢Đæ ǎB€Ðëf ảhf]

Wokies here would reverse that and only let the shorties in.

[Liberty_Belle]

I read this as Chewbacca the Wokie, which made me snort orange juice out of my nose.

I will continue like this was intentional.

[Earth-based Human Skeptic]

Duh. The guys just have to declare they are women when applying for admission.

Unless the management school also screens out the ladies.

[Hendo]

Someone at Reason needs to check their calculations.

1.65 meters is 5'5", not 5'3".

[mad.casual]

Aww... somebody's upset he couldn't get in to [scrolls up] Vietnam National University in Hanoi School of Management and Business.