Brickbats

Brickbat: Mmmmm, Donuts

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A police officer in Cambridgeshire, England, has been accused of switching the bar code on a box of donuts and trying to buy them in the self-checkout line for seven pence (93 cents). The actual price was £9.95 (about $13). Simon Read will face a misconduct hearing and could lose his job.

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  1. He should have just seized them as part of a drug investigation like a U.S cop.

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  2. Or he could have stalked the girl working the donut counter, taken her back to his house, raped her at gunpoint and dismembered her body never to be seen again, like a US cop.

    1. I guess that was an option.

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    2. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing is frowned upon… you know, cause I’ve worked in a lot of precincts, and I tell you, police do that all the time.

      1. Paid vacation and keep the donuts in the U.S. Rape is just a fringe benefit for being a hero.

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      2. We *really* need to reform QI. I mean… so that *exact* circumstance hadn’t ever come up before, but this is just getting ridiculous…

        😉

      3. Qualified Immunity in a nutshell.

    3. That is horrible! Would you share the back story to this comment? I’m curious to the details.

    4. I didn’t realize I had gained enough fame to have my handle copied. So flattering!

    5. Or a Supreme Court nominee?

    6. And shot the dog.

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  4. Matt isn’t the reason interns strong point apparently. Nine pence is about 9¢. I’m guessing it was supposed to read “90 pence”.

    1. Matt = math. Apparently spelling on a tiny keyboard isn’t my strong point.

      1. And reading. It clearly says seven pence, which is about nine cents, not 93.

        1. Know-it-alls know nothing! What a surprise!

          https://www.mataf.net/en/currency/converter-GBX-USD?m1=07

          Pence Sterling (GBX) to US dollar (USD) Converter

          Put in 7 pence, get 93 cents USA dollars!

          Some good advice for you: Do NOT become a day trader! Or ANYTHING else that involves money and math!

          1. Ooops, my bad, slipped a decimal! USA $0.093 not $0.93 indeed! HOW can a box of donuts cost only 9 cents?

            1. SQRLSY One
              November.24.2020 at 9:17 am
              Ooops, my bad, slipped a decimal!

              Some good advice for you: Do NOT become a day trader! Or ANYTHING else that involves money and math!

            2. Ooops, my bad, slipped a decimal! USA $0.093 not $0.93 indeed! HOW can a box of donuts cost only 9 cents?

              Hint: It doesn’t and the idea is so absurd that if you tried to pull it off, you’d likely get caught. Even if you were a police officer.

            3. The box cost $10. He switched the price to $0.93 (my guess, a single donut or a pack of gum)

        2. Don’t blame yourself. Without clicking through you couldn’t know whether the author’s screw-up was confusing seven/seventy or botching the conversion.

          All you could know for sure is that the author screwed-up, which is a reasonable guess anyway even without reading the article.

      2. No, Matt Welch definitely isn’t one of Reason’s strong points.

        1. Momma ain’t a credit to the entire human race, except perhaps for her skills at moose-fucking!

          Canuckistanistanistanistananiacs would be well advised, beware! Not only does the American, Sarah Palin, know how to field dress a moose… Bill Clinton, also an American, knows fully well how to field UNDRESS a moose! Watch out!

          1. SQRLSY One
            November.24.2020 at 9:17 am
            Ooops, my bad, slipped a decimal!

            Some good advice for you: Do NOT become a day trader! Or ANYTHING else that involves money and math!

            1. Refrain from posting on Reason until you get your decimal points and digits in order.

              President-elect Biden certainly has his digits in order. They are forced into the pussy of one of his young female aides. Doctor Jill knows but doesn’t protest. She lusts after the FLOTUS title.

      3. It’s outside the US so the correct term is “Maths”.
        Mathematics verse mathematic. Just an FYI.

        1. The original article reported everything in pence/pounds sterling. I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty sure the math, all of it, was screwed up in the US.

        2. The new world order no child left behind common core term is “maff.”

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  5. In the old days, he would have been able to expect to get all the donuts he could eat free of charge from the store owner as a thank you for his harassment, er, I mean his service.

  6. It could have been worse, he might have slipped a ham into the donut box.

    1. Or a salami, AKA his night stick.

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  8. Wow! Brits are still allowed to buy donuts? I would have assumed their rapidly expanding nanny state would have outlawed this deadly food item by now.

  9. well…… at least it was donuts, to make sure it was a good headline for us all to hear about it.

    you have to wonder WTF is wrong with someone who will do something like this who knows it will blow up if they get caught. dude is going to lose his job for $13.

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  11. A cop loose his job for misconduct? Unpossible.

  12. Simon Read will face a misconduct hearing and could lose his job.

    Simon Read must be the store clerk that caught him, because cops don’t get fired for stuff like this.

    1. If he keeps his job, Read will be getting free donuts for the rest of his career from his cop-buddies, that’ll never get old.

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  14. Cambridgeshire doesn’t know how protection works?

  15. Or he ought to have stalked the lady operating the donut counter, taken her again to his house, raped her at gunpoint and dismembered her body never to be seen again, like a US cop.

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  16. 13 bucks for a package of donuts?? The U.K should be cited by the World Criminal Court for crimes against humanity.

    1. That includes taxes (the VAT).

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