Disaster Relief for Small Businesses Is a Disaster All Its Own
The Small Business Administration will always fail the people it's meant to help.

There's an old saying: When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. For Congress, that hammer is the Small Business Administration (SBA). And every economic crisis is a nail.
Whenever the country is hit by a hurricane, an earthquake, or a terrorist attack, the government instructs the owners of small businesses that have been hurt to turn to the SBA for help. The agency was originally conceived in 1953 to provide guidance and aid to small businesses. Today, its mission statement also includes efforts "to preserve free competitive enterprise and to maintain and strengthen the overall economy of our nation." But in recent decades, it has become the federal government's all-purpose tool for promoting economic recovery.
Unfortunately, the agency has a long history of responding to crises chiefly with a mix of ineptitude, bureaucratic sloth, and cronyism—most spectacularly in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. The current crisis is no exception.
When the COVID-19 pandemic struck, millions of firms were put out of business. By the middle of April, nearly 17 million people had filed for unemployment. Retail sales for the month of March fell 8.7 percent from February, the biggest single-month drop in the 30-year history of tracking. Analysts universally expected that the following month would be even worse.
And so, faced with an unprecedented economic downturn, Congress got out its hammer. The SBA was once again asked to dole out hundreds of billions of dollars' worth of federal loans and grants meant to prop up the economy during what looked to be the worst recession in a generation or longer.
Despite the agency's longstanding, prominent role in the federal government's economic recovery portfolio, there's little reason to believe it will be successful in this case—and it may hurt more than it helps. For decades, the SBA has shown itself consistently unable to hit the nails placed before it. And as coronavirus relief efforts ramped up this spring, the agency quickly began failing taxpayers, small-businesses owners, and the nation's economy, just when the country needed help the most.
$350 Billion Worth of Failure
In normal times, the SBA mostly exists to extend publicly guaranteed loans to companies that can't find credit elsewhere. But these are far from normal times.
As the COVID-19 pandemic spread across the globe, U.S. states ordered lockdowns in hopes of slowing viral transmission. The national economy was put into a figurative coma.
In March, Congress stepped in with life support in the form of the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act, a $2.2 trillion spending program. Among its major provisions was $349 billion for small-business loans to cover qualified payroll costs, rent, utilities, and interest on debt obligations, later topped up with more than $300 billion in additional funds. That money was, of course, to be administered by the SBA.
There were two main pieces to the small-business relief part of the bill.
First, Congress directed the SBA to distribute $10 billion in disaster loans to businesses through an expansion of its Economic Injury Disaster Loan program (EIDL). Each eligible company could get a loan of up to $2 million, with the first $10,000 distributed as a grant—essentially an advance—within three days of its application to an SBA-qualified lender. In addition, a business could apply for an express bridge loan of up to $25,000 while waiting for the larger EIDL loan to come through.
The second piece was called the Payroll Protection Program (PPP), which tasked the SBA with issuing another $349 billion in loans to small businesses through an extension of its flagship 7(a) loan program. Low-interest-rate loans granted under the PPP will be forgiven in full—making them grants from the government in essence—under two conditions: 75 percent of the loan must cover the borrower's payroll costs, and the loan must be used to keep workers on the payroll for an eight-week period after the loan is granted.
Businesses applying for both programs are already smacking face-first into an array of bureaucratic complications, from processing delays to unexpected changes in loan limits. Just a few weeks in—at a time when huge portions of the economy are desperately looking to the agency for assistance—the SBA's administration of the PPP and EIDL looks incompetent at very best.
The first reason for that is scale. The SBA has to handle a very large number of requests in a very short period of time, something it's wildly ill-equipped to do.
In a normal year, the agency makes about 60,000 loans totaling $30 billion. Of that amount, $2 billion are disaster loans and $23.2 billion are 7(a) loans. Under the CARES Act, the SBA had to process more than 10 times its annual load in the span of a few weeks, responding to each application within a three-day window, with very little guidance from Congress about how to proceed.
The demand for loans is intense because of how many businesses are eligible. The legislation uses the SBA definition of small business, meaning a firm with up to 500 employees. According to the Census Bureau, there were 5.6 million employer firms in the United States in 2016. Firms with fewer than 500 workers accounted for 99.7 percent of those businesses. As of 2016, there were an additional 24.8 million firms with no employees (think of a freelance artist who works for herself). That means that 99.9 percent of American firms are "small," and 81 percent of them have no employees.
In practice, and for utterly arbitrary reasons, businesses such as commercial cleaners, home repair firms, and many franchises don't seem to be eligible if the way they're run and operated doesn't fit the SBA's preexisting model. Meanwhile, many big businesses are competing for these SBA loans. The legislation includes an exception to the 500-employee limit for hotel and restaurant chains. A recent Morgan Stanley report showed that more than $243.4 million of the total $349 billion had gone to publicly traded companies with thousands of employees. The Fiesta Restaurant Group, for example, employs more than 10,000 people and has a market cap of $189 million; it has received $10 million through the PPP.
Even if the SBA were the most competent agency in the country, it would be a spectacular challenge to identify, adjudicate, and disburse so many loans so quickly. The SBA, however, is not the most competent agency anywhere.
A Small-Business Nightmare
In August 2005, Hurricane Katrina wiped out entire neighborhoods in the Mississippi Delta, leaving devastation in its tracks. Small businesses that experienced flood damage were encouraged to apply for SBA disaster loans to help them recover as fast as possible. For most applicants, the experience was another kind of disaster.
Take New Orleans resident Donna Colosimo, co-owner of Crescent Power System, a company that sells electrical power generation equipment to large industrial clients. In the aftermath of Katrina, the building that housed her business was submerged under 12 feet of water. "We lost everything," she said in heart-wrenching July 2007 testimony before the Senate Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship. "We lost our inventory. We lost all parts of our business, including all business documentation that we had for 13 years."
Colosimo and her husband tried to request a loan from the SBA and were forced to jump through a daunting number of bureaucratic hoops. It took weeks to figure out how to apply properly. They were asked multiple times to provide the agency with the same materials. "We were passed off to more than twenty different 'loan officers' who came and went like ghosts," Colosimo wrote in her testimony, "and with each new voice at the other end of the phone; we pretty much had to start over."
In October 2005, the Colosimos submitted their application. They then waited three more months, during which time they were told to provide more documents they didn't have because they'd been destroyed in the storm. In January 2006, the couple was told over the phone that they were approved for a $250,000 loan that was supposed to be repaid in full in May 2007.
Unfortunately, they only received $10,000, which came in May 2006.
Colosimo made numerous attempts to obtain the rest of the loan money. She and her husband called the SBA repeatedly, each time speaking to someone different—someone who invariably knew nothing about their application and always asked for additional documents. They never received the rest of the funding. But a year later, the SBA insisted they were on the hook for the full $250,000.
In the meantime, the couple had upended their lives. As of February 2007, Colosimo testified, she had mortgaged her house twice. She begged the committee to "wake me up from this nightmare." She eventually got things sorted out and her debts were eliminated, but not in time to reopen her business in New Orleans. She and her husband sold their home, liquidated their savings, and attempted to start fresh in Baton Rouge.
The Colosimos' story isn't an outlier. It's one of hundreds of sad tales of SBA failure documented both by the Senate Committee on Small Business and Entrepreneurship and by reporters around the country following Katrina.
Two years after the hurricane, the SBA still faced a huge backlog of loan applications. By that time, the loan approval rate had dropped from an average of 60 percent for previous hurricanes to 33 percent, according to the agency's inspector general. It turned out to be easier to decline, withdraw, or cancel an application than to approve it, so SBA staffers under deadline resorted to just that. Even when loans were approved, the agency sometimes failed to disburse the funds.
People inside the agency confirm these descriptions. In 2007, Gale Martin, an SBA loan officer working on Katrina disaster loans, testified before the same Senate committee about the process the agency was subjecting applicants to. She concluded her statement with these words: "I could go on, and on, for hours here, but the truth is that only the wealthy moved through the system easily. People with credit issues, who owed the government even a little bit of money, who had lost their documents, or who just moved around, would probably not be given a loan, and if they were, they would have to fight to keep it."
The agency's failure was so striking that in 2008, politicians on both sides of the aisle agreed to take steps to fix the problem. Rather than scale back the SBA's lending activities and work to make it easier for the private sector to step in during the next disaster, though, Congress created three new programs meant to get loans to small businesses quickly…and gave the administration of these programs to the Small Business Administration.
In 2015, Politico reported that "since the new emergency lending programs were born, American small businesses have been hit by Hurricane Irene, Hurricane Sandy, and other disasters. And here's how many loans the new programs have secured for small businesses in that time: Zero."
Same bureaucrats; same disaster.
A Train Wreck in Every Imaginable Way
Fast-forward five years to the present disaster. No new reforms have been implemented. The SBA is as incompetent as ever. Yet this is the agency Congress tasked to help America's desperate small businesses.
Unsurprisingly, the CARES Act's SBA-related programs are already plagued by technical issues and an inability to process loans quickly. In an April letter to Administrator Jovita Carranza, four U.S. senators asked if the agency could deliver on the mandated requirement to make initial funding available within three days of a disaster loan application. Two weeks later, the SBA still hadn't responded. But small-business owners were saying the agency wasn't coming through.
Lyle Albaugh is the chief financial officer of Betsy Fisher, a high-end women's clothing boutique in Washington, D.C. He applied for the SBA disaster relief loan on March 28. He notes that the application process was laborious, with a number of ambiguous questions he wasn't sure how to answer. He was also required to provide Betsy Fisher's 2018 tax return, its schedule of liabilities, and a personal financial statement. Yet after 11 days, he says, "I haven't heard a word from the SBA. I don't know if our application was accepted or when I'll know anything about our status."
In April, The Wall Street Journal reported that multiple business owners around the country were similarly in the dark regarding the status of their loans. They had applied and waited weeks. The SBA had responded with silence.
Meanwhile, some applicants who were lucky enough to be approved for disaster loans through their banks are now finding out that they will receive only a fraction of the funds they were promised. A New York Times report told the story of Deb Wood-Schade, the owner of a chiropractic wellness business in California who was approved for a loan of $25,000 by her bank in mid-March but later found out she would get only $8,300.
According to the Times, SBA loan officers told several applicants that EIDL disbursements would be capped at $15,000 instead of the $2 million originally announced. That amount is in addition to the $10,000 grant each small business and nonprofit is eligible to receive. If some loan funding has been disbursed, it is unclear whether the borrower can also ask for a $25,000 bridge loan as he or she waits for the rest.
Over 400 applicants told the Times that, despite the statutory requirement that the grants be processed quickly, they had received nothing 10–14 days after their applications were submitted. In addition, many business owners have been told by the SBA that they need at least 10 employees to get the full $10,000 grant, even though the legislation contains no such provision.
The PPP—the program meant to keep workers attached to the labor force by backstopping payrolls—isn't functioning any better. To get one of those loans, the borrower must first apply through a bank. That bank in turn submits the application through an SBA portal for approval by the agency. But the portal often crashes, the paperwork requirements are onerous and subject to change without notice, and interest rates have been shifting in real time, driven by Treasury Department policy. Lenders, meanwhile, sometimes impose their own requirements—such as demanding that the business have an existing loan with the bank.
In just about every imaginable way, the PPP rollout has been a train wreck. It's obvious that the program suffers from design flaws that need to be addressed by Congress.
Once again, Albaugh's experience is instructive. He applied to the PPP on April 3 via another confusing application process that required even more forms. "All of these applications require a lot of gathering of documents, getting signatures, and scanning," he says. "It seems trivial, but it's time-consuming."
He went to his bank, a national chain where he'd had a commercial account for decades. He was told he would have to apply online—but the site wasn't yet accepting applications. A few days later, the bank posted a message saying it was "working with the Small Business Administration to provide relief to Small Business owners" but that it was still "not yet able to accept applications for the Paycheck Protection Program."
Eventually, Albaugh was able to submit his application—at which point he found that stringent limits had been placed on the amount he could borrow. It wasn't clear to him whether this was a bank rule or an SBA regulation. The lack of clarity around the actual conditions of the program is an additional hurdle small-business owners have to deal with.
Every bank is swamped. The Washington Post reported that less than 10 days after the PPP was authorized, Bank of America had already received 178,000 applications from firms seeking $32.9 billion in loans. Wells Fargo had reached the $10 billion cap it had set for loans under the program.
Albaugh says he's seen reports "about hundreds of thousands of dollars in funds being disbursed, with an average disbursement over $100,000. Who's getting these loans and how? I have no idea. Will the funds be used up before we're even permitted to apply?"
By the middle of April, the small-business funding authorized by the law had been exhausted. Many of the recipients turned out to be the large hotel and restaurant chains that had been granted exceptions to the 500-person limit. Restaurant chains like Ruth's Chris and Potbelly received tens of millions. Controversy over the loans was significant enough that Shake Shack, a popular burger chain, returned a $10 million loan.
The program appeared to be intentionally skewed toward larger businesses. Since the funding amounts are based on average monthly payroll, it takes a large number of employees to be eligible for the maximum loan. A company's payroll would have to be at least $48 million, in fact, for it to get $10 million under the program. That's a fairly big small business. Thus, it's likely that most of the money will end up going to larger firms.
At the same time, no one knows how many loans have been approved or how many firms have received funds. In fact, many banks report lacking the proper SBA paperwork to finish the application process and turn the money over to businesses. In late April, Congress passed a $484 billion follow-up to the CARES Act, adding $320 billion to the small-business payroll protection fund and $60 billion to the disaster relief program. Yet even after the top-up, The Washington Post reported that the SBA was secretly capping disaster loan amounts and that the program faced a backlog of millions of applications.
Worse yet: As hard as they are to come by, these loans may not make much of a difference for the companies. "Due to the effect of the total shutdown, loans are of very little help to a healthy business," writes Albaugh in an email. "The total losses that Betsy Fisher is suffering aren't even close to being made whole with loans. The loan just spreads out the pain over the payment period."
More Funding For An Incompetent Agency
Disasters are inevitable. But even the ones we know are coming can be difficult to predict in their precise details.
In late summer, hurricanes form overnight and can hit at any point along the coasts. They shift course at the last minute, and their strength can change quickly. We know that hurricanes will hit us again—somehow, someplace—but no one can say with certainty when, where, or with what force. Over a long enough timeline, terrorist attacks of some sort may be unavoidable. Earthquakes and tornadoes don't exactly make calendar appointments.
There is, indeed, a lot of unavoidable uncertainty surrounding natural disasters and other public emergencies. But amid this uncertainty, one tower of inevitability looms: The Small Business Administration will always, always fail to help the small businesses that it was designed to support.
The SBA should have been abolished decades ago. The agency's nondisaster programs address no genuine market failures, as evidenced by the fact that such SBA financing is minuscule compared to what small businesses receive from banks and other agents in private capital markets. Yet these programs impose net costs on the economy, as do most government loans, by passing the bill to future taxpayers while shifting resources toward government-chosen businesses at the expense of other firms.
On the disaster side, the SBA's complete ineptitude during and after each emergency should convince politicians that it's time to intervene. Congress doesn't have the power to stop hurricanes. But it can stop the predictable disaster that is the SBA's systematic, catastrophic bungling of its mandate.
Shuttering this agency would clear a path for the private sector to step in with new financing options for small businesses. Instead, lawmakers continue to encourage suffering business owners to use the agency by promising free money and cheap loans.
Despite countless warning signs that the SBA was botching its responsibilities under the CARES Act, the bipartisan consensus in the weeks after that law passed was that the next step should be to provide the agency with hundreds of billions of dollars in additional funding. Congress, as ever, was responding to an economic calamity with the only tool it seems to know how to use. But throwing more money at the program without fixing its fundamental flaws is yet another disaster waiting to happen.
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But probably more efficient.
Under the CARES Act, the SBA had to process more than 10 times its annual load in the span of a few weeks, responding to each application within a three-day window, with very little guidance from Congress about how to proceed.
What did the good doctor think would happen? A private business faced with the same circumstance is guaranteed to have the same result.
I don't have a quarrel with abolishing this government agency, and devolving the function down to the states.
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One solution is to warn people: *never* apply for a government *loan*. Get a grant, if you can. Otherwise, go to private grants, of which there are plenty.
If anyone deserves disaster relief, it's Reason.com's benefactor Charles Koch. The #TrumpVirus has caused his net worth to fall from the $60 billion range (which, to be honest, was already too low) to the $50 billion range.
#HowLongMustCharlesKochSuffer?
The idiot women and governor here in Ohio shut down the state not thinking of the economic costs and others followed suit . In the last few weeks rioters have looted and burned businesses all over the country. Last night a Wendy's was burned in Atlanta. Welcome to 2020.
"Idiot women?"
Sputtering bigots are among my favorite culture war casualties.
She issued orders to shut down the state with out the power to do so . This included jail time and fines which only the legislature has the power to do. She's an idiot. Or full of her own self worth . Then again, your a parody , so, why am I talking to you ? I hope.
It's almost impossible to differentiate between lefty opinions and parody these days. Most progs are essentially living, breathing Monty Python skits. But, I think Kirkland is the real deal.
Well, sure, to the extent you can call a twenty something living in his parent's basement a real deal...
From his own references, he's a sixty something, but probably still living in his mother's basement. Mom's hidden away in the fruit cellar. And from today's post we can assume xe's identifying as a woman today.
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And I and my Republican colleagues say stupid shit all the time, too.
Too bad it’s forbidden by law in America to refrain from taking a side in Team Red vs. Team Blue.
Oh, wait, it’s not? Then why would you take a side?
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAH
SCREECH TRIED TO LIE THAT IT WASNT HIM
HE
IS
SO
MAD!!!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJ
YOU COMPLETELY FAILED AHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
Wow! One minute turnaround time. You are dedicated your entire afternoon to trolling me. An honor, sir!
AHAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE HOW YOU STOPPED TRYING TO LIE THAT IT WASNT YOU AHAHAHAHAAH
RIGHT AFTER YOU REALIZED HOW STUPID YOU SOUNDED CRYING ABOUT NOT GETTING TO USE MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAHAHAJ
CRY MORE BITCH AAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA YOU TOTALLY FAILED TO IMPERSONATE ME WITH MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAH
AND THEN YOU CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT AHAHAHAJAJJA
Jeff, you can't parody because you're so blinded by fervor and twisted with hate, that you can't comprehend the ideas and motivations of your targets.
Like the saying's go 'All humour is inherently conservative' and 'The left can't meme'.
What does your mama lament?
Well, I did drop character, so you got me there.
Maybe the guy thought he was General Sherman?
OK, probably not.
The natives are pissed off because yet another young, black male idiot decided to fight with the cops, and got himself deaded for it. The police really frown on it when you fight with them, take their taser, run away with it, and then stop like you're going to shoot the pursuing officer with it.
Video of said encounter: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zsZ1SyRUYvU
One of life's little ironies is that a properly applied chokehold or the Carlin-would-have-approved-euphemism, "Lateral vascular neck restraint", would have ended the fight before the the taser theft and shooting. No cop's going to do that now, in a post-Floyd Riots world.
Bodycam coverage of the entire incident.
It escalates fast at the end.
Private industry in the loan business would not be forgiving loans like the government does.
"In late summer, hurricanes form overnight and can hit at any point along the coasts. They shift course at the last minute, and their strength can change quickly. We know that hurricanes will hit us again—somehow, someplace—but no one can say with certainty when, where, or with what force. Over a long enough timeline, terrorist attacks of some sort may be unavoidable. Earthquakes and tornadoes don't exactly make calendar appointments."
Let's say De Rugy, PhD, is being intentionally naive here. Or maybe just scientifically illiterate.
First, timing. Hurricanes do not "form" overnight. Storms of that magnitude have long histories that can be recognized and used to provide warnings days in advance with reasonable confidence. Anyone dumb enough to wait for a certain label--and certain level of media hysteria--deserves what they get.
Second, location. We absolutely know where the most probable regions for destruction are. Only a dimwit (or politician, but I repeat myself) can look at a place like New Orleans with much of the city below sea level in normal times, and think that the chance of massive damage from storms is just unpredictable. More than 90% of destructive earthquakes happen in the same narrow zones (see any USGS map of historical seismicity).
So what's the point? If we expect government handouts to actually support enterprise success, then we have to use knowledge about major risk factors. Like that other paragon of foresight, FEMA, funding a business to rebuild in a flood plain or seismic hazard zone, is just plain stupid. Funding businesses in riot zones is stupid. And maybe funding businesses in the new United States of Constant Fear of Pandemics, Climate, and Mean People is also stupid.
"funding a business to rebuild in a flood plain or seismic hazard zone, is just plain stupid. "
So, your idea is to not build where earthquakes and hurricanes are likely? You want us to evacuate the entire Pacific coast? And the entire Gulf coast, and maybe the southern half of the Atlantic coast? And the big cities, because they are riot zones? Come on now, we can't all live in North Dakota.
The problem here is failure to communicate. ES didn't say people shouldn't be allowed to build in flood zones or earthquake zones or riot zones or blizzard or tornado zones - he just said "we" shouldn't be funding it. Go ahead and build your house on the rim of an active volcano for all I care, I don't give a shit. But don't be asking me and the rest of the taxpayers to pay for you to rebuild your house every time it catches fire and falls into the volcano. Government is certainly stupid enough to pay you to do stupid things but the rest of us are getting pretty damn sick and tired of it and while we can't do much about the government being stupid, we can come to your house and make sure next time it falls in the volcano that you're in it.
“Jerry skids”
Why are you communicating that you shit your pants?
That is so clever! You rock, Tulpa!
CRY MORE BITCH AAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA YOU TOTALLY FAILED TO IMPERSONATE ME WITH MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAH
AND THEN YOU CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT AHAHAHAJAJJA
Wow! Four minute turnaround time.
AHAHAHAH NOW YOURE CRYING ABOUT THAT TOO AHAHAAHAAH
CRY MORE BITCH AAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA YOU TOTALLY FAILED TO IMPERSONATE ME WITH MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAH
AND THEN YOU CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT AHAHAHAJAJJA
More than 90% of destructive earthquakes happen in the same narrow zones (see any USGS map of historical seismicity).
Ok, You've got the where. Now do the when and with what force.
Magnitudes and frequencies can be predicted with reasonable confidence. Historic and geologic records of past events can be combined with characterization of fault size and shape, rock types, and modern strain rates from geodetic surveys. Local damage also correlates to immediate substrate.
And that should lead intelligent people to choose from a few options:
1. Don't build certain types of structures.
2. Structures should have advanced (expensive) design to limit damage for more frequent small earthquakes and to not collapse for big earthquakes. Note the latter is to prevent loss of life, not property. The structures may still need to be replaced.
3. Don't encourage huge population concentrations, leading to more lives and dollars at risk, and no chance of post-quake EMS and short term recovery.
4. And make every person and enterprise sign an acceptance of risk, and a denouncement of future government aid.
They say it’s my birth-day!
Gon-na have a good time!
So, glad it’s my birth-day!
Happy birth-day to me!
Go-in’ to a par-ty par-ty!
Oh, yeah, go-in’ to a par-ty par-ty!
I’ll receive your worshipful birthday wishes for the GREATEST PRESIDENT EVER right below!!!
Happy Birthday to the greatest President in modern history! He makes Obama look like the Affirmative Action hire that he was!
His birthday was February 9th.
"modern history"
Willaim Henry Harrison born Feb 9th 1773
God Damn Jerry how old are you that you think that's modern history!
How ignorant are you that you think 1773 is ancient history? Modern history started somewhere around the beginning of the Industrial Revolution. The invention of the printing press wouldn't have meant much if the efficiency of mass production and the division of labor hadn't created enough wealth that the average person could enjoy the marvelous new thing known as "leisure time" and the first thing many of them wanted to do was to learn to read and write. Reading and writing among a literate population led to the exchange of dangerous new ideas such as liberty and individualism and freedom of thought and of speech. In the greater scheme of things, of course, human beings are still an experimental species, but certainly within human history, the American Revolution and the ideas it was founded upon still stand as a novel idea. Ask China, the Romans, the Greeks, the Persians how old is old.
"How ignorant are you that you think 1773 is ancient history?"
How bad are you at reading that you think I said that? Nah, you just mad that you said something dumb!
"Modern history started"
Of course you'll think get to define it, it's the only way your comment doesn't look moronic!
Wow this really got under your skin! Lyimg about what I said and then demanding the right to define the terms of discussion!
I've never seen you this uspet about being laughed at before!
Jerry is very serious about only being laughed at for his terribly unfunny posts.
Mockery?
You saw there how it made him shit his Depends.
You're not lying!
All it takes its one look at the super defensive wallotext and you can tell
HE MAD!!!
So mad!!!
Probably because Jerry's right and you two are gibbering retards.
Here's a little education, Nuttplug and Jeff, because you're ignorance is embarrassing your parents...
Scholars agree that the modern period began with the Ottoman conquest of Constantinople in 1453 and the first sparks of the Renaissance in Florence.
That's 320 years before Harrison was born.
The Late Modern Period, which includes the Space and current Information ages (which is probably what you two stupid fucks think 'modern' means) began at the start of the Industrial Revolution about 1760. That's a whopping 81 years before Harrison's presidency.
Honest question, how do you two get through life being so amazingly dishonest, and so appallingly uneducated and ignorant? The only way I imagine you two can survive is if someone is still raising you.
You tell em.
"Probably because Jerry’s" retarded.
As is anyone else who thinks 1773 = modern history.
So, you.
"Scholars agree"
And some people no one cares about. Literally.
But no retard, go on telling everyone 1773 = modern history. You only sound like a fucking idiot, so nothing new there.
And next time "climate change" pops up and you shoot off your dicksucker, I'll remind you how you like to fellate "scholars"
Wow, you could have even googled it before doubling down on your ignorance, Nuttplug, but you're too intellectually vapid and dishonest to do that.
Instead you wave your fat little finger in the air and squeal that you're the one who defines terms, and not historians and researchers.
Tell us again about how you're the party of science, won't you?
"you’re the one who defines terms, and not historians and researchers."
Of course. The idea that 1773 = modern history is stupid.
And when what they say is stupid it's stupid. Repeating that you revere their stupidity won't make you or them sound less stupid. Or make me care what you or they think.
So are you done stupidly sucking cock in a dumb attempt to equate 1773 with modern history or are you still super butthurt that you picked clowns to agree with?
They all said "Jerryskids"
What I don't understand is why his name references his underwear.
Jerryskids
Oh man he is telling us he shits his pants!
Thanks, Buttplug! Honestly, I didn’t think you, of all people, would be first to wish me a happy birthday. But I really appreciate it!
Can you believe Melania didn’t get me anything?! Not even a card! Not even a, “Happy Birthday!”
So wait you're pretending to be Trump?
Do you workshop this before you fling it everywhere screech? None of it ever makes any sense.
He's a guy who thought it would be a good idea to freely post instructions on how to access child pornography, then provided links to same. "Doesn't make sense" is an enormous understatement.
That's... actually a really good point. Pretending to be the guy who owned his pantsuited she-beast is an improvement for him.
Does it look like it’s been workshopped extensively?
no you're known for being lazy, its why you stupidly trued to steal a name I had already stopped using lololol
and THEN SPENT AND ENTIRE DAY IMPOTENTLY TRYING TO PAWN YOURSELF OFF WITH A NAME I HAD ALREADY DISCARDED AHHAHAHAHAHAAH
IT WAS SO MUCH FUN WATCHING YOU FAIL AHAHAJAAJAJAJ
Yet, you quickly scrambled, doing quite a bit of work, to get the name back.
I got under your skin. It bothered you. AHAHAHAAHAHAA
AHAHAHAHA YOU TOTALLY FAILED TO IMPERSONATE ME WITH MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAH
AND THEN YOU CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT AHAHAHAJAJJA
AHAHAHAAHAAAH
LOSING IT CLEARLY BOTHERS YOU AHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAH
YOU CANT STOP FUCKING CRYING ABOUT IT AHAHAHAAHAJA
Kinda amusing how you rushed to register a new email address and Reason account so you could take back the “The guy who broke sarc” handle that I stole from you yesterday.
HAHAAHAHAHAAHA
AHAHAHAHAH wait you were happy about having my sloppy seconds?
AHAHAHAHAHAHA WHY WOULD YOU ADMIT THAT AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO STOP CRYING AHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA
YOU TRIED TO STEAL A NAME I HAD ALREADY STOPPED USING AND NOW YOURE CRYING THAT YOU CANT USE IT!!!!
AHAHAHAAAHAHAHA OMFG I WIN SO HARD AHAHAHAJ
The pathetic loser tried "Tulpa's Buttplug" last night but clearly realized that was an admission that he was your property.
AHAHAHAHA HE WAAS SO PROUD THAT HE THOUGHT HE FNALLY WON ONE
THEN HE REALIZED I HAD MOVED ON AND HIS "PRIZE" WAS MY DISCSADED REFUSE AHAHAAAHAHAHA
AND
HES
STILL
CRYING
ABOUT
IT
AHHAAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAAH
HIS BIG PLAN WAS TO CLOAK HIMSELF IN MY GARBAGE
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
OMFG HOW DO YOU LET ME OWN YOU THIS MUCH AHAHAHAAHAHA
Did you see him crying like a bitch yesterday after he realized he had wasted the day failing to impersonate you?
SEE IT?
AHAHAHAHA I FAPPED TO IT AHAHAHAHHA HIS ANGER AND FRUSTRATION WERE FUCKING NECTAR
AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAA it really bugged you. You are so sad. Cry more, Tulpa!
AHAHAHAHA OMFG HOW ARD YOU STILL CRYING ABOUT NOT GETTING TO USE MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAHAHAJAJ
YOU TRIED AND FAILED AAHAHAJAJAJAJ
AGAHAHAHHAHAHA CRY MORE!!!!!
Hmm, that must have been someone else, because I didn’t try that. It’s kinda amusing, though.
AHAHAHAHAAJ AND NOW YOURE LYING AAHAHAHJAAJ OMFG
YOURE SO MAD YOURE LYING AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAJ
AHAHAHAHA OMFG HOW ARD YOU STILL CRYING ABOUT NOT GETTING TO USE MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAHAHAJAJ
YOU TRIED AND FAILED AAHAHAJAJAJAJ
AGAHAHAHHAHAHA CRY MORE!!
Oh, by the way, later today I’m going to tweet something truly insensitive and divisive about the Wendy’s shooting. I’m brainstorming ideas right now.
"I’m going to tweet"
Loser.
The Trump who MAGA
^
Commie kid? About the only lefty pile of shit here who pretends to think.
Sevo angry!!!
AHAHAHAHA YOU TOTALLY FAILED TO IMPERSONATE ME WITH MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAH
AND THEN YOU CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT AHAHAHAJAJJA
Wow! One minute turnaround time! That’s dedication!
AHAHAHAHAHA OMFG HOW ARE YOU CRYING ABOUT THAT TOO AAAJAAJAJ
CRY MORE BITCH AAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHA YOU TOTALLY FAILED TO IMPERSONATE ME WITH MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAH
AND THEN YOU CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT AHAHAHAJAJJA
Right; as everyone has already posted. The SBA is an UN-Constitutional agency - just as is the Fed Reserve... Neither of them should exist at the federal level.
In today's time politicians talk about money here and money there and completely de-associates that money as representation of civilian labor. They treat our labor carelessly like we're all slaves of the State. You don't own anything anymore; the [WE] foundation owns you and your labors!!!
USD$ that aren't earned by someone is just as worthless as 1/8 the size of a piece of paper useless for anything but burning and writing on. Those USD they print/push around is YOUR daily labor getting stolen from you and thrown around by careless politicians who think you're their slaves. Does anyone really think politician's legislative value is worth the 800B/yr they treat like their own??
...That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men.... - the theory of government.
"You gonna get used to wearin' them chains after a while, Luke. Don't you never stop listenin' to them clinking. 'Cause they gonna remind you of what I been saying. For your own good."
" Wish you'd stop being so good to me, Cap'n. " - the practice of government.
As I recall, the last time Luke said that was just before he got shot.
"Jerry skids"
Why are you telling us you shit your pants?
Oh, my captain.
AHAHAHAHA YOU TOTALLY FAILED TO IMPERSONATE ME WITH MY SLOPPY SECONDS AHAHAHAH
AND THEN YOU CRIED LIKE A FUCKING BITCH ABOUT IT AHAHAHAJAJJA
I'm so bummed by knowing the strategy being pursued against Covid-19 is to arrange it so everybody else gets it instead of you. But as long as everybody pursues that strategy, it's useless.
An economist of Rugy's capability should not have fallen in to the trap of critiquing, only, government's ubiquitous incompetence and cronyism. The first and big issue is that it should be doing none of this. Whether the premise of government's "we must do something..." invasion of our economy is stimulus, "...to big to fail," or now a facade of it seems "...to small to fail" - while it hands out millions to what are actually big cronies; the costs and, more vitally, the displacements cause its actions to be a net negative economically and culturally.
Government can do no good. Government can only redistribute and do harm.
This is no time to look back! Emergencies, kinda by definition, have a way of happening to unprepared people - its when we need government the most - and only a real donald trump would glance down from a position of so much power and be like "my tiny hands are tied."
CRY MORE SCREECH AHAHAHAHAH
"...and only a real donald trump would glance down from a position of so much power and be like 'my tiny hands are tied.'"
Actually, Trump called for and signed and is administering this mess. He has, also, implemented a similar redistribution mess with his tariffs and farm aid; and has also been squealing for a Trumpulus even bigger than Obama's Porkulus, from the start. Trump is the opposite of the small government conservative that you suggest. Trump is a yuge government nationalist.
"‘Nationalist’ Is How a Republican Spells ‘Progressive.’" ~ David French
Thank you. But could you maybe not talk about what a big spender I am in front of this crowd.
AHAHAHAHAHAH NO YOU ILLITERATE RETARD, YOU DIDNT AHAHAAJAJ
AHAHAHAAHAH YOU WROTE IT ABOUT YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHAHAHAHHHAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WALKING INTO THAT AHHAAHAHAJAJA
IAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Get over blaming Trump and/or Republicans for 'Farm Aid'. 0-Democrats voted against the farm bill while 13-Republicans did as well as Republican farmers themselves made public statements against it.
Granite; Republicans didn't have 100% against it but to pretend they're the party mostly to blame is 100% a lie.
...and don't forget 80% of the pork in the Cares Act (Covid Stimulus) was Democratically pitched and supported..
The Republican platform doesn't support what many Republican politicians are doing. They are RINO's who call themselves Republican but do what the DNC platform supports.
No, emergencies (i.e. events requiring urgent response to limit damage) can happen to almost anyone. Some of us are smart enough, and with enough self control, to foresee and prepare for these sorts of events. Some people are so dumb and unprepared that (1) they have more emergencies and (2) they automatically rely on others for even minor events, that smart people do not really consider emergencies.
But go ahead and keep hoping for a socialist utopia that will care for you in every situation.
The astounding $4 trillion 2020 deficit is all the fault of Democrats. I read it here in the comments.
Trump COULD have vetoed Nancy's spending bill. Hell, even Mitch McConnell could have stopped it. But their testicles have been snatched off by Nancy Pelosi. She is swinging the balls in DC.
Read it all right here in the comment section by Trump Trash.
You, in your post about your problems, from yesterday lolololololok
I, who am not Buttplug, wrote that about you.
AHAHAHAJAJ
YOU SAID YOURE A 55 YEAR OLD VIRGIN HAJAHAAAJAAJA
I OWN YOU FOREVER AHAJAJAJAJAJAJA
Have you ever met her in person. Then you’d understand.
Go easy on me. It’s my birthday.
AHAHAHAJAJA YOU ADMITTED YOURE A 55 YEAR OLD VIRGIN AHAAHAHAJAJAJ
Looks like Tulpa is having quite the episode today.
Too bad he has to experience this episode here.
OMFG CAN YOU POSSIBLY MAKE IT A DAY WITHOUT WHINING ABOUT ME
LOLOLOLOLOLOLLOKOLOL
We all learned yesterday, that he considers it to be a big insult to you to accuse you of doing janitorial work for a living.
AHAHAHAHAHAH NO YOU ILLITERATE RETARD, YOU DIDNT AHAHAAJAJ
AHAHAHAAHAH YOU WROTE IT ABOUT YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHAHAHAHHHAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WALKING INTO THAT AHHAAHAHAJAJA
IAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAJAJAH
AHAHHAAHAHAHAAHA
"Tulpa"
I know you live and die in my every word but no Jeff, I've been in another country for last 5 days. None of this has anything to do with me.
Jesus. My flexor digitorum profundus is in full-blown hypertrophy mode after flagging a couple hundred comments on the previous thread. What a complete shithole this place has become.
The comment section has devolved into a virtual RMAZ (Reason magazine autonomous zone). As much as it pains me to say this, but it might be time to burn it to the ground and start fresh.
AHAHAAHAH YOU THOUGHT BETTING INVOLVED THEFT AAHAHAHAJA
I MOCKED YOU AND YOURE STILL CRYING ABOUT IT AHHAAJAJAJAJ
HEY QUICK QUESTION, DOES EVERYONE PICK UP ON THE FACT THAT YOU VAGUELY REFERENCE MEDICAL RELATED ISSUES, IN A WAY THAT MAKES PEOPLE THINK YOURE A DOCTOR, AND THAT YOU LET PEOPLE THINK YOURE A DOCTOR AND CALL YOU A DOCTOR
BUT YOURE NOT ACTUALLY A DOCTOR?
LOLOLOLOLL
Someday your balls will drop, little boy, and we'll be able to have a real conversation. Until then, I'm keep working on my trigger finger curls.
OOOOOH LAMELY PLAYING KEYBOARD WARRIOR AAHAJAJAJ
LOOKS LIKE I WAS RIGHT AAHAHAJAJAHAJA
FAKE DOCTOR GONNA CRY?
YOU GONNA CRY FAKE DOCTOR?
LOLOLOLOLOLOO
HE SAID "TRIGGER FINGER CURLS"
AHAHAJAJAJ
HES SO UPSET ABOUT ME POINTING OUT HIS STUPID GAMES THAT HE THREATENS ME AHAHAHAJAAJAJJA
OMFG I WIN SO HARD!!!!
DONT BE SO HARD ON YOURSELF AHAHAHAHHAHAAAJ
That’s the goal. Tear the whole wrotten thing down.
AHAHAHAHAHAH NO YOU ILLITERATE RETARD, YOU DIDNT AHAHAAJAJ
AHAHAHAAHAH YOU WROTE IT ABOUT YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHAHAHAHHHAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WALKING INTO THAT AHHAAHAHAJAJA
IAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
All written under your handle. Now, how could it have been posted under your handle if you didn’t write it.
HAHAAHAHAHAAHA
CHECKMATE BITCH AHAHAHAHJAAJAJAHAJ
AHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJ
HAJAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
A
AHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHAA
HAJAAHAHAHJAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHHAH
AAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
A
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
YOU LOSE BITCH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJ
HAHAHAAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAJ
AHAJAAHJAAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHAHHAJAJA
HAHAHAHAAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
I’ve really gotten under your skin.
AHAHAHAHAHHAJAHAH
THAT SHUT YOU RIGHT THE FUCK UP AHAHAHAJJAJAAJJA
YOU LOSE BITCH
AHAAHAJAJAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAJAHAJA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHA
HAJAAHAHAJAHHAHAHAHAH
HAAHAHAHAJAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAAHJHAAHAHAHHAAJ
That’s the goal. Tear the whole written thing down.
You know nobody looks at flagged comments, right?
AHAHAHAHAH YOU'RE SO STUPID YOU DOUBLE POSTED AHAHAHAHAHHA
AHAHAHAHAHAH NO YOU ILLITERATE RETARD, YOU DIDNT AHAHAAJAJ
AHAHAHAAHAH YOU WROTE IT ABOUT YOU AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA
AHAHAHAHHHAAH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR WALKING INTO THAT AHHAAHAHAJAJA
IAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
That's obvious, but it helps to declutter the page.
Try using that finger to declutter your cranium fake doc lolololol
True.
HAHAAHAHAHAAHA
Woah, Trump took time out from tweeting to steal a handle from you, bro?! That’s, like, an honor.
HAHAAHAHAHAAHA
YOU LOSE BITCH AHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAJ
AHAAJAHAHAHAJAHAHJAAHAHHA
AHAHJAAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH
No I'm Tulpa Disciple you have me confused with The Trump who MAGA
OOPS!!!
AHAHAHAAHAHAHAJJ
AAHAHAHAJAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
HAAJAHAHAHAHAHAJAJAJAJAHAHJ
Fuck you you fucking faggot why can't you just behave normally you fucking asshole
"I've really gotten under your skin"
lolololololl
"faggot"
Oh god you're a gross bigot too lololo because of course you are
So it seems like Shreek has spent the last two days shitting the place up and pretending to be me.
Eh. Whatever.
What goes around comes around, eh?
Imitation...flattery...blahblahblah
Totally. How could I make it more clear that I am your disciple.
Eh. Whatever.
“I’ve really gotten under your skin
Pakmcqs
AHAHAHAHAHA HE'S MOCKING YOU SCREECH AHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAH
OMFG SO GOOD AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAHAAH
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Kinda amusing how you rushed to register a new email address and Reason account so you could take back the “The guy who broke sarc” handle that I stole from you
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