Brickbat: The Kindest Cut

In England, the Thames Valley Police Department, has announced it will stop posting photos of knives officers seize because they may frighten people. The department said it hopes the decision will "help reduce the fear of knives and knife carrying in our local communities."

Comments

[BigT]

Ban pics of knitting needles and legs of lamb, that also can be used as murder weapons, and that trigger British snowflakes.

[Brandybuck]

I have a theory that the British aren't actually snowflakes, but rather the robotic androids they put in charge of the country have taken their programming to "keep humanity safe" a bit too literally. It's only a matter of months before they realize the best way to prevent harm to humans is to preemptively kill them.

Funny, I always thought SkyNet would be an American network, not British.

[BearOdinson]

They have all become Cybermen.

[Inigo Montoya]

Ban chef shows, too. What’s more intimidating than a knife just sitting there is seeing a knife perfectly wielded to cut vegetables into tiny but precisely-sized pieces in the blink of an eye. And then there’s those presentations of the food: my stuff just looks like it’s dumped on a plate. Those chef shows inspire feelings of inadequacy, so they should be made illegal!

/sarc

[Still Curmudgeoned (Nunya)]

Now I want to murder the shIt out of some carrots. Then I'm going to serial kill some steak. I might even decapitate some asparagus.

[Finrod]

Carrot juice is murder!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmK0bZl4ILM

[Agammamon]

+1000

[Will Nonya]

Why can't they just implement some common sense knife control?

[Longtobefree]

They did. That's why they have knife amnesties.
King Arthur would be so proud - - - -

[Quo Usque Tandem]

https://www.gov.uk/buying-carrying-knives

This shit is for real, and quite likely "progressing" to a country [very] near you.

[Rich]

Examples of good reasons to carry a knife or weapon in public can include: ... if it’ll be used in a demonstration or to teach someone how to use it

Right on!

[Zeb]

I'm a little surprised you can have a 3" knife there.

The state I live in actually liberalized knife restrictions quite a bit several years ago. You can carry pretty much any blade in NH.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

Live Free by the knife or Die by the regulations.

[Brandybuck]

When I was a kid, every male child above the age of six carried a pocket knife of some sort. I had my grandpa's pocket knife, and upgraded to a Boy Scout Knife when I had the chance. No one freaked out.

And not just the boys, many girls did too. Girl Scout Knives are an actual thing, in case you guys didn't know.

[Vernon Depner]

That's how it was when I grew up. You could have checked the pockets of the boys in my elementary schools and approximately 100% of them would have had a pen knife. I still rarely leave the house without my Victorinox Swiss Army Explorer. I leave it behind only when I'm going somewhere I'll be metal detected at the door, like the court house or a concert venue.

[Brandybuck]

I have lost three Victorinox Classics to the flipping TSA. I forget they're in my pocket and then then I know the TSA is treating me like a terrorist.

p.s. The knife actually meets federal regulation for taking on a plane. But the TSA doesn't give a shit. The TSA numbnut. sees a knife and he freaks out even though the blade is less than an inch and a half. Just like the numbnut that broke my suitcase because the lock on it didn't have the TSA approved stamp on it because the suitcase predated the existence of the TSA. Fuckers.

[Robert]

Implement? Was I the only one who saw what you did there?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Frighten people that their tax dollars are going to this embarrassment.

[Brian]

England is determined to take the self-disarmament of the law abiding to its ultimate logical conclusion.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

https://www.churchtimes.co.uk/articles/2019/27-september/news/uk/ban-sale-of-pointed-domestic-knives-say-campaigners

No pointy kitchen knives, rounded scissors [like children use in pre school], and you'd better have a good reason to be buying and possessing that hammer and screwdriver. Crowbars are just beyond the pale.

[Zeb]

“Historically, we needed a point on the end of our knife to pick up food because forks weren’t invented. Now, we only need the point to open packets when we can’t be bothered to find the scissors.”

OK.

I've been hearing about this silliness for years too. There are plenty of other reasons for pointed knives.

[mad.casual]

Not that the reason matters. Pens, pencils, nails, tent stakes, knitting needles, safety pins, etc. all have a reason for being pointy as well. Shards of glass tend to be pointy for no reason at all and the effective pointiness of a fence picket is highly relevant to the kinetic energy of the body being punctured. At what point does being caught in the vicinity of a sharp stick constitute being guilty of owning a puncturing device?

[Longtobefree]

Remember that all oriental martial arts forms were started after total disarmament of non-leaders and their armies.

[Tamfang]

I didn't know the non-leaders had armies.

[Longtobefree]

Sometimes my hands are connected to my brain; sometimes they are on their own - - - - - -

[Ron]

many centuries ago when Asian rulers decreed that the serfs could not have swords they people invented karate and other martial arts where any implement can become a weapon even chopsticks. heck they may have invented the fork if it hadn't been outlawed

[DaveSs]

Real reason
Its to stop all the laughs targeted at them when they post pictures of butter knives, pliers, scissors, and screwdrivers.

Without the pictures their claims of how many knives they've taken cannot be disputed.

[MatthewSlyfield]

And a few carving forks, spatulas, letter openers designed to look like miniature swords, serving spoons...

[Jerryskids]

I trust England has also banned the advertising of Quentin Tarantino movies, glue guns, hair dryers, and framing squares lest anybody be triggered. And banned the use of the word "triggered".

[Vernon Depner]

It's "tregroed".

[Earth Skeptic]

Governance reduced to the intellectual level of peek-a-boo. If we can't see it, it does not exist.

[loveconstitution1789]

No guns and no knives.

The Nazis DID conquer England after all.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

It's like my comments about New Jersey; the great American experiment: what life would be like had we lost the Revolution, or the Cold War.

[Rich10011]

I hear they are coming for paper clips next.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

Right now I'm weaponizing mine into a daisy chain.

[Kevin Smith]

Because they are used to press recessed buttons on many electronics they should be classed as hacker tools and regulated accordingly

[Don't look at me!]

The picture of the knives with this artichoke rises to the level of pornography.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

"It's bigger. I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?"

Marion Wormer: "No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous."

[JFree]

Well I hope they at least continue to market pictures of corpses, mug shots, suspects led away in handcuffs, etc.

We need our crime TV. How else we gonna be fearmongered?

[Quo Usque Tandem]

Watcha gonna do when they come for YOU?!

[Unicorn Abattoir]

Wrong song for the UK.

The Guns of Brixton

[Tom Bombadil]

"The department said it hopes the decision will "help reduce the fear of knives and knife carrying in our local communities.""

Knives, like many things, warrant a certain amount of "fear". It's healthy.

[mad.casual]

Yeah, I had to read it a couple of times to get the 'through the looking glass' meaning.

[NashTiger]

We are talking about Assault Knives, right?

[Quo Usque Tandem]

Banned knives and weapons
It is illegal to bring into the UK, sell, hire, lend or give anyone the following:

butterfly knives (also known as ‘balisongs’) - a blade hidden inside a handle that splits in the middle
disguised knives - a blade or sharp point hidden inside what looks like everyday objects such as a buckle, phone, brush or lipstick
flick knives (also known as ‘switchblades’ or ‘automatic knives’) - a blade hidden inside a handle which shoots out when a button is pressed
gravity knives
stealth knives - a knife or spike not made from metal (except when used at home, for food or a toy)
zombie knives - a knife with a cutting edge, a serrated edge and images or words suggesting it is used for violence
swords, including samurai swords - a curved blade over 50cm (with some exceptions, such as antiques and swords made to traditional methods before 1954)
sword-sticks - a hollow walking stick or cane containing a blade
push daggers
blowpipes (‘blow gun’)
telescopic truncheons - extend automatically by pressing button or spring in the handle
batons - straight, side-handled or friction-lock truncheons
hollow kubotans - a cylinder-shaped keychain holding spikes
shurikens (also known as ‘shaken’, ‘death stars’ or ‘throwing stars’)
kusari-gama - a sickle attached to a rope, cord or wire
kyoketsu-shoge - a hook-knife attached to a rope, cord or wire
kusari (or ‘manrikigusari’) - a weight attached to a rope, cord, wire
hand or foot-claws
knuckledusters
Contact your local police to check if a knife or weapon is illegal.

[Brandybuck]

How the mighty British Empire has fallen.

Hell, even in the heyday of the switchblade epidemic of the 70s, the US only managed to ban the carrying of switchblades. No on on this side of the pond ever considered banning kitchen knives. And lest the weenies on this sight think the British ban only applies to military style semi-automatic combat knives, that nation has actually banned most knives, including most of what we could call kitchen knives. Chefs need state permission to own traditional culinary implements.

I guess that's why they boil their meat to within an inch of cohesion over there. No dinner knives either.

[Ron]

Knives, SCARY, how about the jaw bone of an ass, I once heard of man named Samson who killed a thousand men with one. Now thats a mass killing. Murder has existed since man could pick up a rock, we even know his name, Cain.

[Longtobefree]

He was framed

[Finrod]

Would the UK be any different today if HYDRA was in control? I don't think so.