Oregon

Portland Man Protests Extremist Dicks With Dildo March

Martin Connolly's "Stop Sending Dildos to Portland" protest will have marchers waving sex toys on city streets, and maybe stopping by a brew pub.

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StopSendingDildostoPortland.com

For the past two years, the right-wing group Patriot Prayer has been staging rallies in downtown Portland, Oregon, almost all of which have devolved into fights between rallygoers and leftist counterdemonstrators. Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler has responded to the violence by proposing an emergency ordinance that would give his office wide powers to regulate the location, time, and duration of these protests.

Taking a less coercive approach is Martin Connolly, who instead of trying to crack down on anybody is planning an absurdist demonstration of his own.

Titled "Stop Sending Dildos to Portland," Connolly's plan is to march through the streets of neighboring Vancouver, Washington—home of Patriot Prayer founder and failed Republican Senate candidate Joey Gibson—waving dildos, collecting litter, and maybe hitting up a brew pub or two.

"It's weird that out-of-state groups would come and protest in Portland and it seems like it's just to gain attention or to start fights," says Connolly, describing the street violence that's plagued the city over the past two years as both "frustrating" and "surreal."

Eventually, he says, his frustration gave way to an attitude of "screw this, I'm going to have my own protest with dildos and beer."

According to an FAQ for the event, Connolly and whoever decides to join him will march a half mile from Esther Short Park in downtown Vancouver to the Tap Union Freehouse, a local pub.

In contrast to Patriot Prayer and its leftist opponents—who've been known to march through city streets, blocking traffic—Connolly's plan is, according to his website, to stay on sidewalks and obey all traffic laws. They make a point of saying they won't assault anyone. (The FAQ does state that "We might adorn a few telephone wires with dildos, but that's the extent of our shenanigans.")

Should any Proud Boys or Antifa show up, the FAQ encourages dildo marchers to duck into the nearest bar "until everything blows over."

Connollly, a longtime Portlander who describes himself as "liberal-leaning," says he sympathizes with counterdemonstrators who want to confront Patriot Prayer and the less savory right-wing groups who flock to their rallies. But he also questions the wisdom of that approach.

"I understand the people that want to fight them. Twenty years ago, maybe I'd be doing the same thing, but I just don't know if it works," he tells Reason. "Maybe there's a better way. Maybe this march that I accidentally came up with is the way. Probably not, but maybe."

Connolly says that he has ordered a shipment of discount sex toys from China for the occasion, and he hopes that they arrive in time for the rally. He encourages attendees to bring their own sex toys, protest signs, perhaps a Halloween mask, and cash for beer.

Whether his demonstration manages to cool temperatures in Portland remains to be seen. But it's a nice reminder in these polarized times that one need not choose between two sides of masked extremists, and can instead embrace peaceful parades, humor, beer, and the occasional Chinese-made sex toy.

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50 responses to “Portland Man Protests Extremist Dicks With Dildo March

  1. What if they held a dildo war and nobody came?

    1. Alternate-universe me would cum.

      Alternate universe me? Would CUM.

      1. Dildos don’t come. That’s why they are dildos.

        1. Wrong!

          NSFW (maybe, my work doesn’t care)

        2. Did you just call alternate-universe me a dildo?

        3. Cum one, cum all!

          Behold the wonders of the free market!

    2. Groan.

  2. I like that he is acting like Patriot Prayer et al are the ones STARTING the fights.

    Punch somebody enough times and they fight back.

    Too bad if progs get beaten in the process. Stop being dicks.

    1. ” Stop being dicks.”

      Hence, dildoes.

    2. I like that he is acting like Patriot Prayer et al are the ones STARTING the fights.

      It’s also a bit of skullduggery that Reason reports that “almost all” of their rallies devolve into violence when in reality local news, websites, Wikipedia, etc., use terms like “heated exchange”, “minimal to no violence”, and “no arrests”.

      Also leaves out how when violence did start escalating the movement split and half the group held peaceful rallies in Vancouver.

      But Reason’s gotta make sure that they let everyone know that they don’t give a damn about principles like opposing violence or reporting fairly and accurately when there are people they don’t like to demonize.

      1. But it’s a nice reminder in these polarized times that one need not choose between two sides of masked extremists, and can instead embrace peaceful parades, humor, beer, and the occasional Chinese-made sex toy.

        Such goddamned virtue-signalling bullshit. Stay at home. Go shopping. Just plain go to a bar like a normal person. No sex toys required. Or, depending on the home or bar of your choice, sex toys as desired. Obey the traffic laws you like. Pick up litter because it’s unattractive. Drink beer because it’s good.

        Otherwise, you’re doing it all out of spite and just because you have a dildo in your hand doesn’t mean you aren’t a dick.

        1. That.

    3. Can we knock off the naivete for a moment?

      There’s a reason why the Proud Boys types are protesting in extreme left-wing bastions like Portland, and not more conservative-friendly places. They’re trying to provoke a reaction from Antifa. I don’t know if they are actually starting the fights. But I really doubt that the Proud Boys people are unhappy that Antifa shows up to fight them.

      It’s the same deal like when the College Republicans would invite people like Milo and Ann Coulter to college campuses. They didn’t do it to have a rational exchange of ideas. They did it to provoke a reaction from the campus left. They did it to troll their adversaries. And when their adversaries showed up and acted hysterical, they got publicity and mileage out of it. THAT is what they were really after.

      Now it’s perfectly legal to troll people. It’s legal to protest. Of course the state should defend Proud Boys’ right to peacefully protest. And Antifa’s too, for that matter. It’s legal to invite provocative speakers to campus. But let’s not kid ourselves about their motives being pure and noble. They aren’t.

      1. Any group wants to be relevant. So, if relevance is what the “Proud Boys types” are after, perhaps a more effective response for the left would be to simply shrug and ignore them. But the left can’t do that. Constantly baited, their relevance is defined by actions that include constantly snapping at the bait. These groups are symbiotic.

      2. Let’s not pretend that there isn’t more to this than “trolling”.

        The Portland mayor has repeatedly refused to protect the “conservative” groups from the antifa groups who publicly announce that they are going to physically assault the right-wing groups if they hold a rally. They show up in riot gear, armed for a fight. They then proceed to assault people. And the city government stands back and lets it happen… on purpose. They state at the outset that this is what they are going to do.

        They should be wide open to a lawsuit for violating the equal protection clause of the constitution. I know our government is going to be super-deferential to the claims of local left-wing officials who will claim that these are known violent right-wing groups, but at some point you would think that we would decide that you can’t just assault people you disagree with.

      3. Jeff also blames women baring skin for sexual assault. So he’s consistent.

      4. Can we knock off the naivete for a moment?

        I don’t know, can we?

        See, I think you believe this–

        It’s the same deal like when the College Republicans would invite people like Milo and Ann Coulter to college campuses. They didn’t do it to have a rational exchange of ideas. They did it to provoke a reaction from the campus left. They did it to troll their adversaries. And when their adversaries showed up and acted hysterical, they got publicity and mileage out of it. THAT is what they were really after.

        But it’s not true–or, at least, it wasn’t. Right wing groups invited people to speak for them for quite a while without much incident. CR events were generally considered dull. Then deregulation gave them a more open media platform, and bombastic and snarky media personalities that others could see. THEN the left started protesting every get-together. Once it became obvious that the left would go into tantrum mode whenever anyone who disagreed with them spoke, they used the left’s natural proclivities against them.

        When people hold right wing rallies or speeches in places without a viable left/antifa group nothing happens. The event goes on without strife. No protection needed.

        And they happen with some regularity in ‘flyover’ country.

        So they’re not going to Portland or other infestations to provoke, they’re going to places where protection is required.

        So, knowing these facts, can you stop being na?ve?

        1. Ah, you will say, how can I call these things facts? How can I know this is true?

          Well, beyond being alive and paying attention, there’s an interesting phenomena that can be observed.

          The left can stage rallies and these groups who you claim are ‘trolling’ or ‘wanting attention’ don’t show up.

  3. I like that he is acting like Patriot Prayer et al are the ones STARTING the fights.

    Punch somebody enough times and they fight back.

    Too bad if progs get beaten in the process. Stop being dicks.

  4. From the headline I was expecting … something quite different.

  5. Connolly’s plan is, according to his website, to stay on sidewalks and obey all traffic laws.

    If I’ve learned anything from movies it’s that, if you articulate your plan involving numerous people, it always goes off without a hitch.

  6. Antifa has been engaging in fights, vandalism and property damage in Portland long before the Patriot Prayer people ever showed up in that city.

    1. Yep, it looks like Christian Britschgi| is another progitarian hire by Reason.

      The dark cloud of fascism is always descending upon Republicans but it always turns out to be composed of progressives and Democrats.

      He brought an American flag to protest fascism in Portland. Then antifa attacked him

      Quote:
      Paul Welch came to the downtown protest Aug. 4 to let his political leanings be known.

      With pride he clutched his U.S. flag as he moved among the crowd of like-thinking demonstrators.

      Soon a group of black-clad anti-fascist protesters, also known as antifa, demanded he lose the flag, calling it a fascist symbol. Welch refused, and a tug-of-war ensued.

      Video captured by Mike Bivins, a freelance journalist, shows what happened next.

      As Welch and the counter-protesters wrangle over the flag, another masked counter-protester begins to strike Welch’s body from behind using a weapon concealed in black fabric.

      That person then uses the weapon to club Welch on the back of the head, causing him to collapse instantly. The demonstrator with the weapon wanders off.

      1. Some have said Antifa is a movement of militant anarchists rather than fascists, but if they share the same totalitarian tactics, the distinction is immaterial.

        1. Check them out online. They have loads of discussions about their political beliefs. They definitely have roots in the anarchist groups of the 90’s. But they don’t really understand anything about what anarchy is. Or fascism. Or communism. Or basically anything about political or economic systems.

          They have a bunch of buzzwords that they use, but they are often out of proper context.

          Overall they seem to be far-left progressives / communists who think that the whole system needs to be burned down and replaced with their version of a socialist state – one in which all wrong-think is eliminated, all profits are outlawed and everyone is equal. Well, except for the overlords, I suppose. Kinda like Animal Farm, except not as a cautionary tale.

  7. Vancouver may be out of state, but it is literally across a bridge from Portland. It is essentially a suburb of Portland, a bedroom community for those leftists that prefer the high taxes of Washington to the surprisingly mild taxes of Oregon. Calling Patriot Prayer an out of state group is to deliberately muddle things.

    1. I have always been told that you are supposed to live in Vancouver because WA has no state income tax, and do your shopping in Portland because it has no sales tax.

    2. Logged in to make just this point, but you beat me to it. It’s not like a California group descending on Dallas and what affects Portland ripples out to people in Vancouver pretty easily.

      1. Hey… they had to cross a *bridge*. A bridge, people! It was almost a 15 minute drive with traffic!

      2. The problem with the noble proletariat of the Peoples’ Republic of California descending on Dallas is that for some strange reason–Texas being so hot and so backward and oppressive and all–they never leave.

        And they bring their stupid voting habits with them.

        Trump’s wall might be better deployed if it was constructed along the California border.

  8. Who are the true dildos? Those who believe in free speech and peaceable assembly (Proud Boys and Patriot Prayer), or the radical leftists, who welcome and promote the practice of sodomy, who attack peaceful demonstrators and are wielding literal dildos?

  9. Connolly says that he has ordered a shipment of discount sex toys from China…

    Cheap, Chinese, knock-off imports.

    What we need is common sense dildo tariffs, to spur the domestic dildo manufacturing industry.

    1. “a shipment of discount sex toys from China”

      So *that’s* why Trump cancelled the Postal Union treaty!

  10. “Bring their own sex toys”

    Doesn’t sound very sanitary.

    They are going to the brew pub after.

    ” hold my dildo while I get some beers”

  11. Are you aware of the penal code in this state?

  12. Dildos can be weapons. See Clockwork Orange.

    1. Better: see Orgazmo

  13. I get the impression that Martin believes there are no “out of state” progressive leftist Antifa protestors in the streets of Portland. Please, Mr. Connolly, tell me you’re not that naive.

    1. Left leaning politicians in a heavy blue city? Not only naive but probably dumb as fuck.

  14. Slight correction: “…violent progressive leftist antifa protestors…”

  15. He’s right that fighting them is not the way to counter them..

    He’s also accidentally right that he didn’t come up with the right way. Yeah, I get that he’s doing the fake self-depreciation thing where he’s saying “maybe this isn’t the best idea” when he really means “this is totally the most brilliant idea ever!”, but still…

    This problem was solved over 30 years ago. The Klan used to do marches all over the place like this. They got lots of press and lots of attention. Back in the 80’s and into the 90’s they used to march in Atlanta once per year. At first thousands of counter protesters would show up, yelling and screaming and acting like unhinged lunatics. It made great TV and made it seem like the KKK was still a big deal and relevant.

    Then the Atlanta civil rights leadership hit upon this idea: Stop giving them a platform. Don’t show up for the march. If you do show up, don’t engage. Just turn your back and ignore them.

    About 2 or 3 years of that and the march was finished. By the last one they only managed 18 marchers – mostly from just 3 families.

    These marches exist now because the left finds them politically useful. They’ve spent the last decade or so trying to build a boogie man to rile up the young base. There is no boogie man. But if they keep acting this way, they may actually create one.

    1. Antifa is predominantly anarchist in orientation. That means no marches. demonstrations, or actions of that sort. They leave that to socialists, fascists and the like. Antifa is about direct confrontation with their enemies.

  16. The reason that these groups have their free speech rallies in liberal enclaves is because that is where the war against free speech is being waged. When you tell Americans that they’re not allowed to express certain views under the threat of mob violence, don’t be surprised when they do just that.

  17. Now the Proud Boys need to put on dresses and walk up and down the sidewalks in a Delusional Sexual Identity day parade. No violence of course, just making a point to the world that people who consider themselves ‘transgendered’ suffer from a mental delusion. Maybe they could hand out free tampons.

  18. Great Danes are a lifestyle with us, not a whim or passing fancy. I’ve been active in the breed since 1974 and was a member of the Great Dane Club of Western Washington for 30 years. Jack has been involved with Danes since the 1960’s. I am currently a member of the Great Dane Club of America, Willamette Valley Great Dane Club , Western Great Dane Club of BC, and the Mt. Baker Kennel Club.

    https://danepuppieskennel.com/

  19. ‘Dildo’ is a stupid name.

    Henceforth they shall be known as ‘plasdick’.

  20. Infantile!

  21. There are lots of MIA dildos. Many of them will be marching.

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