Brickbat: So Immature

Alarich / Dreamstime.com

The Pennsylvania State Police were called in after a 6-year-old boy at Newport Elementary School made "violent hand gestures" toward someone else at the school. Police said they are treating it as a terroristic threats investigation.

Comments

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

"Well done, Timmy. The explosives are placed and set. You couldn't have made a better distraction. You may consider your 72 virgins 'in the bag'."

[Vernon Depner]

He's learned at a very early age that the law is a ass.

[Fist of Etiquette]

And what mindless bureaucracy brings, as it's highly likely it's administrators who called the police on a 6-year-old kid.

[Adans smith]

If kids can write laws on smoking and be 'experts' on gun control ,I say,good enough for him.

[Fist of Etiquette]

PSP Investigative Report:

Arrived at school 0900 hours. Suspect was observed eating snack, chewing violently, making aggressive lip-smacking noises. During interview, subject Trevor (presumed alias), after being given candy, admitted to making hands into pistols, pointing at other students on playground, making realistic "Pchoo-pchoo" shooting sound effects. Denied threatening to fart on lunch personnel. Eye movement suggests lying. Will administer polygraph after T-ball practice. Confiscated MAGA lunch box, crayon drawing of fighter plane bombing civilians. Will refer to ATF, Homeland Security. Recommend placement on Pee Wee Terror Watch List.

Pennlive commenter on the story. Puts all of you people to shame.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

But... but mine had, like, subtext, and stuff.

[Radioactive]

We eschew your subtext and summarily dismiss your stuff!!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

We just want text.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

Shoulda figured you for one of them swanning surface-fleet types.

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

I think you have those mixed up.

[sarcasmic]

Did it have alt-text? Huh?

[Telcontar the Wanderer]

I don't stick my nose in my comments' private lives, sarcasmic.

[Longtobefree]

I thought the realistic sound would be ka-pow, ka-pow.
And I love 'aggressive lip-smacking'; that kid will be title ix expelled from college before he even applies!

[Conchfritters]

MAGA lunch box?? Hey! No fair! I want one!

[Griffin3]

They are on back order, like forever --> MAGA Lumch Box

[Jerryskids]

There's the question of mens rea and the idea that at a young age a child is presumed not mentally developed enough to assume responsibility for his actions. Interesting that a 6-year old is presumed mentally developed enough to assume responsibility for his actions while Hillary Clinton is not. And she wanted to be President?

[Longtobefree]

That's different, because democrat.

[Crusty Juggler]

Can I walkout of work because of this?

[Radioactive]

would any one know you were absent?

[Crusty Juggler]

Yes.

[Longtobefree]

He meant other than you - - - - -

[Crusty Juggler]

Still yes.

[sarcasmic]

Those dirty dishes pile up real quick.

[Conchfritters]

Being a hero all the time must get tiresome, and yet they persisted.

[This Machine Chips Fascists]

Being a hero all the time does get tiresome
These streets, my feets, they're on fire son
And yet, we persisted
The kid was arrested
And so ends the case of the finger gun

[Conchfritters]

Finger gun was pretty much all we did in the 1980s elementary school.

[Rich]

"violent hand gestures"

Nice band name.

[Griffin3]

From comments:

More need for students to receive Miranda before any school employee can question them. Kids are not being represented fairly by school employees. They have their own agenda

Hear, hear! Tell my kids this at least once a week.

[SQRLSY One]

When my kid was even less than 1 year old, he was a terrorist! Deployed his "booger beam" weapon, spewing boogers ALL OVER himself and others!!!

(Good thing no one ever turned him in, else he might still be rotting in jail).

[Tom Bombadil]

"made "violent hand gestures" toward someone else"

Any of you guys ever seen some deaf people having a conversation?
Scary AF

[Vernon Depner]

This virtually outlaws the Italian language.

[loveconstitution1789]

Ladies and gentlemen, the NANNY-STATE. Nothing to see here.

[This Machine Chips Fascists]

Big Brother sends Thought Police and prayers.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

Please tell me this is a Western Onion story. I honestly cannot tell the difference any more.

[Quo Usque Tandem]

Excuse me; THE Onion.

[Longtobefree]

Because there IS no difference anymore - - - - - - -

[Inigo Montoya]

When I was a lad, it was okay to tell ethnic jokes, and the most frequently heard ones were about Polish people. "Polocks" were synonymous with idiots.

Seems to me school officials should be the new butt of such jokes. The only problem? A joke like, "Did you hear about the school official who called the cops because he thought a 6-year-old was a terrorist?" would be too implausible-sounding to work as a laugh line.

[sarcasmic]

Know why Polish names end in "ski"?

Because they can't spell "toboggan"!

[Inigo Montoya]

A guy driving his car down a very long hill suddenly realizes his brakes are totally gone. He starts yelling, "I've got no brakes! We're gonna crash!" His pollock friend in the passenger seat tells him, "Don't panic! We're in luck: there's a stop sign at the bottom of this hill."

[Quo Usque Tandem]

There are Cajun jokes too; 2 Cajuns are driving down the highway and see a sign that reads "Baton Rouge Left." So they turned around and went home.

[Brandybuck]

Why are the woodchippers idle?

[Vernon Depner]

I fear they won't be for long. The next economic crisis could turn really ugly.

[Longtobefree]

Carbon footprint and all that jazz - - - -

[Hank Phillips]

That would follow... but just the same, why not list the premises?